Like what
he writes?
... Add *ove-Wisely to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *ove-Wisely a private message | | | *ove-Wisely's profile:-Please send me messages if you're looking for private or long term advice.
NOTE: In any private message please address me personally (Love-Wisely or "L-W") so 1) I know you are not a spam robot and 2) so I know you are genuinely interested in serious advice. Also you may find some of my past replies about "troubled relationships" more or less apply to many situations.
--------------------------
Top Agony Aunt #1/#1
--------------------------
Rating: 10/10
For 1-day I was the #1 agony aunt as rated by the community and #1 as rated by the question asker. Suddenly, a mass of community members gave my answers 1-star... (Notice I have no average votes.) I've tried to give helpful advice, to everyone who asked, most of my life. It's part of my nature. Not everyone agrees with my input in all circumstances. But no one, has ever accused me of giving worthless or harmful advice. |
|
My jealousy is driving me insane
Q. I have feelings for a guy friend that i'm housemates with, we used to be really close, he would text me all the time, buy me presents, take me out and buy me drinks. But over the summer he got a girlfriend and told everyone but me. I found out ...
A. 14 December 2010: You have every reason to feel hurt and upset. Don't even try to fight that. The fact that you are housemates -is rugged! Housemates can be very intimate without quite hooking up. I have seen this heartbreak in party houses. People in pseudo-couples ... (read in full...)
My wife told me she wants to be single and live by herself!
Q. Im 23 years old and my wife is 21. We knew eachother for 4 years dated for 2 years and have been married for 1 year. We have a 1 year old daughter. My wife is tired of being a mom and wife, she says she still loves me but she just wants to be ...
A. 4 December 2010: I'm sorry you are going through this. No matter what, the coming weeks and months will be extremely difficult.
Sometimes the best way to love someone is: to set them free. Be patient and respect of her feelings and her need for space. You alre... (read in full...)
I feel trapped in this relationship but unsure if I want the other one back...
Q. My head is a total mess and I really don't know what to do any more. My ex and I broke up about two months ago (we were together eighteen months) and I'm now in a relationship with another guy, which is what I guess most people would call a rebound....
A. 3 December 2010: I feel for you. I use to rebound as a method of "helping me" get over ex's. I stopped doing it. Not because of how goodly or strong willed I am - because I realized like you that it was terribly screwing with my emotional well being - sooner or ... (read in full...)
I want to feel appreciated!
Q. My relationship of 2 1/2 yrs has gone stale. Normally, I would try to spice things up, or have a serious conversation on making things better, but I'm just at the point where I give up. My boyfriend is not spontaneous, and does not make me feel...
A. 3 December 2010: Even stable long term relationships can come to an end. Unless two people are extremely alike in: energy, thinking, sex, money, socializing - both may be better off ending things on a good note. Too many times people keep up relationships past the ... (read in full...)
Is it normal not to want to hold a baby?
Q. My cousin has just had a lovely baby boy and he is absolutely gorgeous, but when i went to see her today i found myself refusing to have a hold of him. Up until actually arriving at the maternity ward, i was eager to have a hold but when it came to ...
A. 2 December 2010: Two great answers. I enjoy holding babies, but I have definitely had the same vibe as Maverick. Sometimes I would just rather not, and for the same reasons they described.
Course as a male I'm not under the same social pressure to wield babies l... (read in full...)
Unable to reject my ex but I don't want to cheat on my boyfriend!
Q. Hey Ok I have this Boyfriend that i really like, I think about him constantly, i always dream about him and talk about him to all my friends, but the problem is I still have feelings for my ex and he still likes me even though he broke up with me,...
A. 30 November 2010: It's scenarios like this that make it so once you are in a serious relationship, the ex-factor should be discussed. The expectations, the boundaries, and there should be no double standards. Some ex's are truly no longer a threat, but many of them ... (read in full...)
Psycho Ex Girlfriend who won't stop messing with me, even tho the breakup was her idea.
Q. I first met my girlfriend in high school at a party and then we didn't talk until this year when she wished me a happy birthday via Facebook. We started hanging out more often after I got her a job at my work, which made work so much fun! We got to ...
A. 29 November 2010: A lot of "hot" girls, or "free-spirited" types will conduct all of their relationships in the exact manner your ex attempted. Meaning, they are free to talk to (and go out with) anyone else they want. Some try to hide it, others don't.
If you expr... (read in full...)
How long do men stay horny?
Q. I'm 17 and i'm currently dating someone. when we're together, he tells me that he's horny and the next day, the feelings stay the same. How long do boys stay horny?...
A. 25 November 2010: Girls tend to get more and more horny over the years 18-35, but its generally the opposite for men. According to my Grandfather, he was horny until about 70-years old! When I was 16-24 years old, I was insanely horny. 5-times a day wasn't always ... (read in full...)
Is he serious in wanting me back?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up but after 3days he called me up and wants to see me so we can talk things out--and save the relationship.. he even suggested that we both should write what we dont like about each other so we can discuss things and make ...
A. 25 November 2010: "I also read my boyfriends response to her and it favors me because he said he wants to but I wouldn't like it because I want his undivided attention every-time were together."
It sounds like he is using your relationship status to flirt with thi... (read in full...)
Is he serious in wanting me back?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up but after 3days he called me up and wants to see me so we can talk things out--and save the relationship.. he even suggested that we both should write what we dont like about each other so we can discuss things and make ...
A. 24 November 2010: Okay, I read the added detail. He hasn't been showing many signs that he is serious about your feelings...
Clearly, he has/had a crush on that girl. He expects you to be blind to that fact but offers nothing to convince you? You were right. H... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me to not want to walk into a situation where a man is dependent on me?
Q. met a guy this past summer, June. He and I share a mutual friend. My mutual friend told me about him and told me he'd like for me to meet him because he thought we'd be a perfect pair. Before I go on, my friend told me that his friend was from a ...
A. 23 November 2010: "He asked me to buy him some underwear because he needed more."
-That is the red flag for me. I don't place a huge value on pride, but asking a person I'm dating to buy me underwear "because I need it" is extremely low. I think the average ... (read in full...)
How can I repair our relationship?
Q. Dear All, I have been with my girl friend for 10 months now, I love her a lot, I have'nt had a lot of relationships before her, She visited ethiopia in July to attend her freinds wedding and met up with her ex - boy freind, before she left ...
A. 23 November 2010: Separate vacations can strain the best of relationships. The expectations should be discussed in advance. I think confronting her by email while over seas (visiting ex's) is bound to be terribly awkward. If at all possible: have a phone conversation ... (read in full...)
I get so wet during sex that he can't feel me. Is something wrong?
Q. My man and i hav been together for 3 yrs now. He took my virginity and he's d only man i'v eva slept with. At 1st yr i didn't reach climax infact i didn't even knw wat it was. As tym went by i reached it. Lately i'v been getting very wet during ...
A. 18 November 2010: If you are serious about your question, you have a "good problem." Use soft towels to absorb excess wetness. Using condoms, he could lubricate the inside tip for more sensation. ... (read in full...)
I want to go out with friends on my birthday and now she's threatening to break up with me!
Q. I've been dating my girlfriend for 6 years now. Since the beginning she's always been hard to deal with when a disagreement arises, and she always refuses to compromise. It seems to me that she blames every fight on a failure on my part. Most ...
A. 18 November 2010: If you gave her advanced notice. Invited her. And she turned you down. You are covered. She is out of line. Remind her again she 1) is welcome to come, 2) you don't to breakup over this, and 3) ignore her threats. If she walks out do not contact ... (read in full...)
Why does he make me wait and feel like an idiot?
Q. Hi - I cannot make sense of this situation and i do not know how to handle it. We had a relationship for several months. He live abroad and started to freak out because we became really involved. Too much really. So naturally we stopped to see e...
A. 18 November 2010: I'm not sure why he didn't reply yet, but by letting him pick from so many available days - you made yourself feel vulnerable. I think when it comes to setting dates, it's better to use the phone. If you guys haven't talked on the phone in 2-months, ... (read in full...)
Is he serious in wanting me back?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up but after 3days he called me up and wants to see me so we can talk things out--and save the relationship.. he even suggested that we both should write what we dont like about each other so we can discuss things and make ...
A. 18 November 2010: I agree with dirtball. This behavior could mean a lot of different things. Until you talk, try to stay focused on you. Now if you guys broke up over trust issues, this would NOT be a great way for him to be acting. ... (read in full...)
How do I get the courage to ask her out?
Q. Hey. I'm sure you get this one a lot. But I can't find any good answers on the internet. Theres a girl called (randomly thinks of name) Ellie. I've had a crush on her for a while now. I can talk to her, and she's great, not like other girls givi...
A. 17 November 2010: I tell you what, most of the time we can't remember half of what we say on our first date, or first phone conversation. Dating, and asking on dates is extremely awkward. For guys, it basically comes down to pushing past the lameness phase.
Don't... (read in full...)
I can't trust him because he let me down! Am I being irrational here?
Q. I am currently engaged to a man seven years older than I, and we've been together for three years. About a year and a half ago, my father passed away from a long-term illness. My fiancée knew my father, and of his illness, and that time was qu...
A. 16 November 2010: The way our significant other deals with our pain and suffering is a greatly overlooked quality in a mate. Now there is no way he could have know what was your last chance to see your Father, but still, he showed disregard for the gravity of your ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my boyfriend, now he never wants to see me again!
Q. Okay well I need to start that me and my boyfriend were together for almost 2 years. Btw I am 18 and he is almost 21. After the first year of our relationship he felt like he wasn't happy anymore and he wanted me to change. He wanted me to be more ...
A. 16 November 2010: Unfortunately, this relationship is shipwrecked. This is why when feelings fade too much, or temptations become too strong: it's better to peaceably part ways no matter how difficult that may be.
You both have a lot of self exploration ahead. L... (read in full...)
Why the big gaps between responding to texts?
Q. This question is mostly for men but women feel free to answer too. I was texting this guy now and again and then after 2 weeks we went on our first date. It went really well, and for the first 2days after he would text me all day. Ever since he...
A. 15 November 2010: I think this super depends on what he is doing. Most of the jobs I worked, I have been unable to reply to text. Same thing with being in class. If he only gets a break every few hours, this is normal.
Then again, he might be trying to "play ha... (read in full...)
After 3rd date I feel like running for the hills!
Q. I started seeing a guy since Halloween. It's been three weeks and three dates. By the third date, I'm not feeling it, and he has a picture of us saved on his cell phone screen saver... I'm 22 turning 23 and have never dated before. Am I over ...
A. 15 November 2010: Guys have a tendency to get attached - almost instantly. I think if you have cold feet about dating him already, chances are, that feeling will get stronger later.
Have said that, is there any reasons (besides the cell phone screen saver) m... (read in full...)
Is it rare for people to want unconditional love?
Q. Is it better to be honest with one's partner or to withhold the truth about something that you know might lead them to reconsdider being in the relationship? I see so many people advocate for dishonesty in relationships, and I don't understand it. ...
A. 14 November 2010: Lying about that funny sound? Fine with me. Lying to cover up shady behavior, severe debt, cheating, criminal activity, marital history, etc. -all quite unlovable. ... (read in full...)
Close pictures with other girls, acceptable?
Q. Just wondering when photos of your boyfriend close with other girls (as in faces touching close) becomes unacceptable? Is it normal drinking behaviour for guys to go out and take close pictures, or is it a sign of something more? I have asked that ...
A. 14 November 2010: I agree with Maria-consuela 100% Only where she is fair minded - I feel worried for you... I don't know how long ago the cheating happened, but taking "close pictures" accompanied by "ANY" other suspect behavior: would probably be a deal breaker for ... (read in full...)
Workmate gave me a bruise because I wouldn't do what he said
Q. hi so i have this guy friend at work and the other day we got into an argument cause he wanted to take his break with me but he wanted to take it at 5 and i wanted to take it at 430 so then he got mad and squeezed my arm and when i said to let go he ...
A. 14 November 2010: A sign that: 1) he seriously likes you, and 2) controlling immaturity. It happens to be assault and battery too. It's also called: creating a hostile work environment. You could potentially be fired for NOT saying something...
You were trying t... (read in full...)
I'm torn on whether or not I should divorce my alcoholic husband.
Q. I'm torn on whether or not I should divorce my husband. A year ago, pill popping and alcohol abuse led to him physically abusing me. I called the police (later dropping the charges) and left the house for two months and got some therapy. I went ...
A. 14 November 2010: You are living the enablers nightmare. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
One thing I have definitely learned about failing relationships: 2-months apart isn't enough to fix things. Both people have to fully work on themselves longer than tha... (read in full...)
Help! Obsessed ex-boyfriend is making me feel very guilt!! What can I do?
Q. I'm in desperate need of advice. I've broken up with my boyfriend of four years. He was 5 years my senior. When we began our relationship I was 16 and he was 21. Both very young. In many ways we were on the same level mentally. I honestly couldn't ...
A. 11 November 2010: Rejection triggers obsession. By the sound of it, the obsessive vibe put you off of the relationship in the fist place. It means your instincts were correct. Now you have to take courage, and follow your instincts to completion.
Guys generall... (read in full...)
My ex and I still have sex even though he has other women. Why can't I leave him?
Q. hi every body i need help. well first my son's father and i was together for about 2 years and a few months. yea it was my first relationship, first time in love, and my firsy baby. well we have been broken up for about a year now but we still ha...
A. 10 November 2010: We really become fixed on our idea of relationship, to the neglect of the reality of it. On top of that, we become sexually dependent on people. They learn our body, we learn theirs - it can be the most exciting and intimate knowledge in the ... (read in full...)
We were born on the same day and year, tell me we're not meant to be together!
Q. Ok here it is exactly 4 months after me and my girlfriend started going she calls me one morning and say i can't do this anymore....we had a great time together....we were born on the same day and same year. she made me feel like we were a dynasty. ...
A. 10 November 2010: I will tell you a mystery: just because two people are "meant to be" doesn't mean you will be able to stay together for life. That takes serious work, the daily will to stay, and the ability to overcome outside distractions.
You both have man... (read in full...)
I keep finding his ex's stuff around the house!
Q. I have been dating G for almost 3 years. We are engaged to get married in January. While cleaning his house because I'm moving in, I found many personal items of his former live-in girlfriend. We discussed and I felt since they were her childho...
A. 10 November 2010: Okay, if you read 10-12 emails between his ex, and the worst of it was about a sofa, you guys are fine. Men can be very weird about this sort of thing. I too have stuff around my house from 3-relationships ago. Some of it does have sentimental ... (read in full...)
How can I get over the feelings I have for my uncle?
Q. I was eight years old when I first met my Uncle. My heart pounded and I loved him immediatly. I heard rumors that he was only my father's half brother and hope glimmered that he was adopted etc. I felt dirty a lot of times but, he was so amazing, ...
A. 9 November 2010: As freaky as it may sound, I think the feelings themselves are not that unusual. Some people are extremely unique and amazing. I think you first have to forgive yourself, because guys are few and far between.
An impressionable young girl is actua... (read in full...)
She's hanging out with other guys
Q. Sorry if this is confusing. Ok, I Really need some help here. Me and my girlfriend have been together for a year and a half and have been very happy but recently we've had some arguments. Earlier today we were talking about how some time ago sh...
A. 9 November 2010: By the 2-year marker in a relationship, people often get extremely curious about the affections of someone new and different.
Arguments are often symptoms of other deeper issues and desires not being met. What your girlfriend is trying to do: e... (read in full...)
Foul smell is too much for me!
Q. Been in a relationship for slightly over a month. Things went on well till we made love the first time. She's got a foul smell which doesn't go even after she bathes. Am turned off and I want to quit. What's the best way to quit? ...
A. 8 November 2010: I vote for brutal honesty. If ladies were dumping me because of a "foul smell" - I would want to know about it as soon as possible. (It can be a symptom of illness or disease.) If you really don't want to embarrass her, use one of the standard quit ... (read in full...)
I have got my mistress pregnant and my wife does not know, how do I avoid as much heartbreak as possible?
Q. I have been married for 6 1/2 years to a wonderful wife. Well for the most part. I on the other hand am a horrible husband. In the 6+ years we've been married she cheated on me shortly after our first child was born. No excuses for my upcoming ...
A. 8 November 2010: This is no excuse either, but anytime a couple gets married before the age of 30-years or so, difficult times are usually ahead. People are still finding themselves and changing well into their 30's. But in our 20's, transformations and temptations ... (read in full...)
Where's this relationship going?
Q. Where's this relationship going? I met a guy from a post I made on a listing site. Basically I wanted to go out/hang with someone. He seems decent and respectable. I dont know him well, he could be a total creep honestly (glass half full). But he ...
A. 8 November 2010: If you are happy with this and enjoying yourself, I think you should be keeping the ball in your court. His interest in you is there, but it's a little lukewarm still. Do you want this guy to be excited by you? Keep your distance until he calls you ... (read in full...)
I told my crush I like her and she freaked out and blocked me!
Q. I am a 21 year old guy (22 soon) and I was friends with this girl who was 16. You can read all about how we met here from another relationship forum: "All righty, I am 21 year old guy who is friends with a 16 year old girl. I met her at the Harry...
A. 7 November 2010: There are many, many, reasons to drop this pursuit immediately.
Anytime a girl blocks you, or avoids you, after sharing your feelings with her: the friendship is over. Continuing to pursue, by AIM, letter, calls, text, drive-by: is harassme... (read in full...)
I need space and he won't give it to me!
Q. Ok, I've been seeing this guy for about 2 months now. We first met each other in high school, about 11yrs ago and got reacquainted on FB a few months ago. Everything was going well in the beginning, but lately, everything he does just seem to ...
A. 7 November 2010: On his part these are clear signs of: insecurity & immaturity. 2-months into a relationship? This "clingy" behavior is especially inappropriate.
Unless you draw a clear line in the sand, and enforce it at all times, he will be all over you like... (read in full...)
Is she just staying with me for stability?
Q. Ok, me and my fiance or whatever you would call it, have been together about 3 years. In the last year, shit has turned fucked up excuse my language. The first 2 years was perfect, i just got layed off of my carpentry job when the economy took a ...
A. 7 November 2010: Mutual Respect = Healthy Relationship
That first "good year" living together, the expectation bar was set too high. You rescued her. By the sound of it, she greatly appreciated it. So she put her best foot forward, but after a year, got tired of... (read in full...)
BJ with or without a tongue piercing
Q. How does a blow job feel with a tongue stud compared to one without? I've never had one with, but I am very turned on by a pierced tongue. I'll never get to experience a BJ with one, but was just wondering. ...
A. 7 November 2010: I think it's more of a turn on than a sensational pleasure. Let's face it: tongue studs look extremely sexy! In terms of how they feel? The more excited you get: the less you notice it.
One of my ex's had one. She complained that it was "uncomfo... (read in full...)
2 years never use condom, could I make a girl pregnant?
Q. Im having almost daily sex for around 2 years already and i never used condoms,but i never get any trouble because i hav never let the sperms go inside(except of few days after her period). is there any possibility if i make her pregnant even widout ...
A. 7 November 2010: Firstly, the pullout method can be very effective at birth control. However, it only takes one sperm to get pregnant. The big risks are these: 1) Having sex multiple times per day. Some sperm continue to hang out inside the shaft of your pen... (read in full...)
| *ove-Wisely's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ove-Wisely has
added them and they have added *ove-Wisely!
|
