A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Just wondering when photos of your boyfriend close with other girls (as in faces touching close) becomes unacceptable? Is it normal drinking behaviour for guys to go out and take close pictures, or is it a sign of something more? I have asked that the photos stop, but of course that was a completely unreasonable request. I'm not sure if they bother me so much because he has cheated in the past, or what, but just wondering what you guys think, and what you would do if your man was behaving this way? Thanks! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Love-Wisely  +, writes (14 November 2010):
 I agree with Maria-consuela 100% Only where she is fair minded - I feel worried for you... I don't know how long ago the cheating happened, but taking "close pictures" accompanied by "ANY" other suspect behavior: would probably be a deal breaker for me.
Either way, it comes off as a lack of respect for your feelings.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): Oh well if he has cheated in the past then you already know where his intentions might lead him. You already know what he is capable of. When I had just read the beginning of your post I was thinking "I don't think it is all that weird" until I saw you mention his cheating. That changes everything. For all you know, he probably continues to cheat. You already know he is a cheater. So now he is pretty much doing it in your face. He didn't respect his commitment to you before, what makes you think he respects your feelings now? He doesn't. He has made it clear in the past, he continues to make it clear in the present.
So now he is doing it in your face and it hurts you.
I think it would hurt alot less if you just lose this guy and never again let anyone treat you like that.
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A
female
reader, Maria-consuela +, writes (14 November 2010):
 I think it is fairly normal for pictures to be taken during nights out drinking, and if the group is a mix of men and women then both will likely be present in one or more of the pictures.
How often is your boyfriend going out for these type of nights without you? Do you know the group that he is a part of, and are they familiar with you?
Most importantly, do you feel confident that your boyfriend has truly changed his ways? In order to feel at ease, you need to begin to build trust back.
If you feel that he hasn't earned this trust, that is another story completely. Has he done anything to build intimacy, or change his past behaviour that led him to stray originally?
It doesn't matter which girls he is taking pictures with, drinking with, etc. If you don't trust him, you will always be concerned - and unfortunately if he is in fact being unfaithful (worst case scenario) there is nothing you can do to stop it, or prevent it.
I think you just need to have an honest and open conversation about your fears and worries and get some real feedback. Once you feel like you are working toward a common goal and that you are on the same page moving forward you will start to feel better.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (14 November 2010):
 No close pictures, especially when the guy is drinking. That would be completely unacceptable to me, would he be comfortable with you doing the same thing?
Since you said that he has cheated in the past I don't think that you asking that those type of pictures stop is unreasonable. He should understand that.
I would tell him that the pictures need to stop or we don't need to be together. You don't have to put up with that. It doesn't sound unreasonable to me at all.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): I would never behave in such a manner. Why? Because Id like to consider myself one who doesnt put himself near the temptation of other women and by drinking booze that certainly can have a huge affect. I think your BF needs to stop the parties and get togethers with alcohol so that he doesnt put himself at risk and make u feel worried. he's just simply eliminating a behavior that could lead to harming him and you so in no way should he see your request as controlling. I know I wouldnt cause when im with a lady im with lady and thats final.
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