A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear All, I have been with my girl friend for 10 months now, I love her a lot, I have'nt had a lot of relationships before her, She visited ethiopia in July to attend her freinds wedding and met up with her ex - boy freind, before she left she met up with another ex boy freind over dinner with some other friends, she is good friends with her ex boy friends, however i dont let my past come in in between us, recently i sent her an email letting her know that i am uncomfortable with this sort of thing because i keep my past away from her, i also confessed that i read her sms's which i found no content in, post this email we had a chat over the phone as she is overseas at the moment, the conversation was very odd, i fear i have broken her trust and i am going to join her in a few weeks time to meet my family, i fear this incident will have a negative impact on our relationship. please advice what can i do to repair this damage as i love her a lot and want to marry her.
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male
reader, oldernwiser  +, writes (7 January 2011):
gain HER trust back???? were u in some horrific accident or had testicular cancer whereas you lost your balls? get real!! lose this tart asap! HELLO IN THERE!! she's still going out with/having dinner (and who knows what else) with her ex's..there's a reason why they're called EX'S.. they are supposed to be in her past, not her present,, u'r her present. i don't care what BS anybody says,,love is a 1 way street, u can go from being friends to being lovers but the other way always causes a crash. when it's over it's OVER! any interaction with an ex will surely damage the current one. man up! tell her all ties with them are cut or all ties with u are cut. end of discussion!
A
male
reader, Love-Wisely +, writes (23 November 2010):
 Separate vacations can strain the best of relationships. The expectations should be discussed in advance. I think confronting her by email while over seas (visiting ex's) is bound to be terribly awkward. If at all possible: have a phone conversation to clear the air. Tell her your worries, ask how she feels, then let her be free.
Ultimately you can't know what she does on vacation. This is a terrible time to express any feelings about marriage.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 November 2010):
 Well you done the right thing by admitting to her that you looked through her phone, however this is going to have a negative impact on her because right now she will be feeling that you dont trust her and what is the point in being in a relationship if there is no trust? Some people stay friends with there ex's but i understand that this is hard for you to deal with but it has only been ten months so just remember not to smother her to much.
When you see her apologise to her and explain to her that you do trust her but that the situation with her ex was playing on your mind and you couldnt resist temptation to look through her phone, tell her you are sorry for breaking her trust and that you wont do it again.
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