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Workmate gave me a bruise because I wouldn't do what he said

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 November 2010) 11 Answers - (Newest, 14 November 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hi so i have this guy friend at work and the other day we got into an argument cause he wanted to take his break with me but he wanted to take it at 5 and i wanted to take it at 430 so then he got mad and squeezed my arm and when i said to let go he squeezed harder and then walked away.

the next day i looked at my arm and there was a bruise there when i told him that he did that to me he was apologizing like craaazy and said to not tell anyone and that he would do anything i wanted.

but when i told a couple people at work they said i need to tell my manager and then this one guy who also works with me came up to me and said lemme see ur arm and i showed him and hes really mad at the kid so hes gonna confront him at work but my question is should i tell my manager? cause he said he wouldnt do it again and its gonna be really awkward at work for the both of us. pleased helpppp!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010):

This guy is showing classic evidence of someone who will become a full blown abuser. Report him to HR, and your manager.

Let's hope he doesn't have a GF...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010):

Tell the manager.

Yes, he should be fired.

You don't want to be anywhere alone with this guy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010):

Hey there ..

Again.. I strongly agree with the guys here you should certainly report this guy, as it may not be his first offence. And if you do decide against reporting this guy what if he does it again, you would not be able to live with yourself knowing you could of prevented it. Sweetie what he did to you was indeed wrong prevent him getting any worse, nip it in the bud and let you boss deal with the situation correctly. Don't be bullied by anybody ;o)

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (14 November 2010):

Fatherly Advice agony auntRecognize

You need to realize that this guy used physical force to get his way. That is called abuse. That is why everyone is reacting the way they are. He may realize that he made a mistake and never do it again, but you should not rely on that.

Resist

Don't put you self in a situation where that can happen again. Don't ever be alone with him. Always stand out of immediate reach.

Report

Yes, do tell your manager, so he/she can be on the lookout for similar behavior. Perhaps he is so worried about you reporting because this is not his first offense. By reporting you are not just protecting yourself you are protecting other potential victims.

Those are the three R's of handling an abuse situation. Please do take this seriously.

FA

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010):

Regardless of whether he will do it again and for whatever reason he has these anger issues, it shouldn't have happened. It is imperative that you report this to your Manager...It is harrassment. It must be reported. I know you feel it will be awkward but he has to know that behaviour like that is unacceptable and you won't let it slide. Hold your ground.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (14 November 2010):

I would take that up with your boss. This guy sounds like a bit of a nut job to me.

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A female reader, Tbosse South Africa +, writes (14 November 2010):

Tbosse agony auntReport him or else next time he will do more harm

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A male reader, Love-Wisely United States +, writes (14 November 2010):

Love-Wisely agony auntA sign that: 1) he seriously likes you, and 2) controlling immaturity. It happens to be assault and battery too. It's also called: creating a hostile work environment. You could potentially be fired for NOT saying something...

You were trying to be cool about it. But this person is virtual stranger. Who knows what he might do next? Sabotage your work? Push you?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010):

Yes, please tell your manager and get him fired as that is very inappropriate and could be construed as workplace violence. Dont listen to his words...for the love of God please turn him in and get him fired. The world has enough creeps...just look at the size of me as proof...now thats just not words.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010):

his violence against you is totally unacceptable. He will do it again. Show your manager now. This abusive guy is no ''friend''

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A female reader, BadAsh6705 United States +, writes (14 November 2010):

BadAsh6705 agony auntIt sounds like that guy has some serious anger issues. That is not a normal reaction to something like that and very inappropriate. I would tell the manager, I'm sure he would be fired.

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