A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok I've been in love with this guy for like 2 years but he's never gown that kind of interest in me, we're just close friends - we can talk about whatever- and sometimes we flirt a little but he flirts with everyone really, anyway we got drunk at a party a few nights ago and he told me-before actually telling anyone else-that he'd broken up with his cow of a girlfriend a week ago, then he kissed me. He admitted that he had fancied me I the passed and wondered what it would've been like if he'd gone out with me and we made out a few times. After though he told me he was really confused and he doesn't really see me that way...I'm kinda broken up about it cause I've been getting along fine but that was when I was sure nothing would ever happen but then he drops all that on me? I'm probably never gonna dare anyone again now! My friend recons he likes me deep down, that he wouldn't have done it if he has no feelings for me blah blah blah but he's talking to this other girl atm and keeps telling me he's just "goin with the flow" what am I meant to do? I know him well enough that I'm pretty sure if I reveal the extent of my feeling he'll run away. He's done it to other girls before where he's notice they're interested in him so he avoids them for a while till they get over him but firstly I know that wont work and he did mention doing it but took it back when I got upset... I'm so confused about him and what I need to do about it? He said he only kissed me because e was drunk-wonderful for my ego huh?-but still? Help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2013): Ok I'm the original poster and I think I need to clear a few things up:First, he didn't call his girlfriend a cow. They'd been together over a year before but broke up, he felt pressured into go back out with net but he did it anyway, he never said a bad word about her to anyone but me and was really sweet to her even though he knew she didn't deserve it as she had left him originally for someone else...I'm the one who thinks (and always has thought) that she's a cow. He's not the sort of guy who gets into any sort of casual relationship, he prefers meaningful ones but is kinda hurtin at the moment...Also, we've been friends for a long time, and he's told me really important stuff that he doesn't like to talk about (like how he's tried to commit suicide and hates being compared to his criminal of a brother for a few) and to be honest he is a decent guy, or I wouldn't like him. But I am a bit cross now having taken your answers into account because I can see how he kinda used me then jumped straight away to another girl and talks to me about it knowing how I feel? Ouch doesn't quite cover it really haha...anyway thank you these responses did help a bit and if there's anything else feel free to share :)
A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (26 September 2013):
 I'm sorry that happened to you. I know it's confusing. Here's what I know from much experience:
He was drunk and on the rebound. Lord, I can't count how many times I've said stuff like and done stuff like that because of my idiotic drunken mouth. He didn't mean it deep down. I know you want to believe he did. But those were drunken words with no meaning behind them. I've made out with my best friend before while extremely intoxicated. Gotten handsy and everything. the next day, I woke up extremely shocked and a little horrified. I absolutely love my friend to death - but not like that. luckily we both were on the same page and laughed it off. No one got hurt. But things like that happen a lot with alcohol. It makes you say and do things you don't mean or wouldn't do in a sober state. In this case, he was just doing it to do it and wasn't thinking coherently.
Try your best to put your feelings aside like you've been doing. and don't let this slip up happen again. No more drunken make outs or perhaps just avoid him completely if he's been drinking. I'm sure you're a lovely girl. There's a guy out there just dying to be with you. Find him and try not to worry too much about this guy. Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 September 2013):
 Here's the thing. He likes you enough to make out from time to time when drunk. Big deal.
He doesn't like you enough to pursue you as a man when sober and with no limits.
In other words, sadly, he doesn't like you enough.
He's kind of a creep, really. Sorry.
When you get some time and distance on him, you'll cringe that you ever even entertained him as a love interest. He'll go into your history books as "One to regret. And forget about. Because he's a big fat loser!"
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (26 September 2013):
 Leave him be. If he refers to his ex of one week as a "cow", then he is vile. He treated you vile. He gets drunk vile. He would cheat on you, which is vile, and so leave him.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (25 September 2013):
 There are a few red flags about the guy:
He referred his ex as cow of a girlfriend. He has no respect for women and comes across as arrogant and mean.
He kissed you even though he didn't see you that way. Taking advantage of you. Also lied about fancying you in the past. He's saying whatever to justify being a player and using "confusion" to buy time and to avoid responsibility, and to run when girls get angry with him for being a player.
Don't listen to your friend. This guy wants to be a womanizer and cares nothing about being in a serious relationship. You don't need to have feelings to make out with someone. Horniness and being receptive are all you need.
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