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... Send *ibra1963 a private message | | | *ibra1963's profile:I am a mother of 3 and I teach 16 to 19 year olds. I have had many experiences throughout life with men and family problems.
I can relate to many of the problems identified and have always been able to come out of them with my head held high. I would like to help others do that to and see that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
I have felt pain and loneliness. I feel I have the experience to help others. |
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I've tried to get away, but the harrassment continues ...
Q. Well, if you have followed my other posts, you will know that i had a married woman chasing me at work, tried to get away, finaly got away, had to cry "hostile work enviroment" to management, they changed my schedule, but it still overlaps hers 3-4 ...
A. 27 July 2009: Hi there God you have gone through a lot. Please take sometime off work. You are making your self really ill. I am sure your employers will understand. Hopefully they will realise that they need to get rid of someone and it will not be you.... (read in full...)
What is the best position when you have sex for the first time?
Q. I am 13 and im having sex for my first time in a couple of weeks because my boyfriends parents are on holiday and he said i could come round for a couple of nights if i wanted to ... i said yes ... he later asked me if i was ready for sex and i knew ...
A. 20 July 2009: You are tooyoung to even be thinking about sex. you need to fill your live with interests. What are boys going to think of you having sex at your age. You may not be with this boy for the rest of your live. Other boys will find out as they do ... (read in full...)
I've tried to get away, but the harrassment continues ...
Q. Well, if you have followed my other posts, you will know that i had a married woman chasing me at work, tried to get away, finaly got away, had to cry "hostile work enviroment" to management, they changed my schedule, but it still overlaps hers 3-4 ...
A. 20 July 2009: It sounds like this women needs help. Do not allow her to affect your job. If there is anyone who should go its her. Having slept with management I am surprise she has not been shown the door already.
The previous advice is good. Keep evidence... (read in full...)
I feel so lonely, I want to have more confidence and friends, please help!
Q. hi i need help. i feel so lonely all the time ive just come out of a very bad relationship and my self esteem is zilch-to be honest ive never had much im always so hard on myself , negative critical. i have only 1 good friend-that sounds terrib...
A. 17 July 2009: You need not to be so alone so much. I know you are hurting. Find a hobby and engross yourself into it. Mine was music and I make many friends from this.
there must be something you are interested in. You do not sound healthy alone. People w... (read in full...)
I can't orgasm from masturbation
Q. ok well I started having sex with my boyfriend and he seems like he knows what he's doing we've had sex at least 15 times it feels good somtimes but I don't ever orgasm so I tryed masturbating and I still can't have an orgasm and when I do masurbate ...
A. 16 July 2009: You can order them on line. You dont have to buy a toy. There are lots of things in the home.... (read in full...)
My dream of being a model is shattered and I'm depressed!
Q. ive just turned 26 and feel like im in a rut. I work at a hospital in administration and the job is well paid but very mundane although it has a lot of reponsibilities and is quite a respectful job. My dream though is to be a model. I have tried to ...
A. 15 July 2009: It sounds like you want to do something fast and glamorous that takes you around the world. Have you thought of cabin crew. The only thing is that they do not pay loads but you will meet LOADS of people. Who knows where you may end up next!... (read in full...)
Why do guys like you after you've moved on?
Q. There is this guy named Andrew that I had a huge crush on. He never ever noticed or even spoke to me in class. I would even sit next to him on purpose or ask him a question about something just to get his attn. One time he completely ignored me and ...
A. 15 July 2009: It took me a long time to learn this one. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder". You were probably too obvious before and it was turning him off.
Now that you have backed off you appear more attractive too him. Guys do not like girls in their... (read in full...)
Is having chemistry important?
Q. I will start by saying that while I am open to the possibility of a relationship, I am very comfortable and happy being single. I have never been the type that has to have a boyfriend to feel secure and good about myself. And, often in the past, ...
A. 15 July 2009: I quite understand what you mean about chemistry but sometimes the chesminstry does not always show straight away. Give a couple of these guys a chance. You could be missing the opportunity to meet you solemate.
Search a little deeper. God did ... (read in full...)
Did I read him wrong?
Q. There's this guy at my work, he is 25 (5 years older than me) and i think he might like me. I can sense something in his body language. He can't help but smile when he looks at me. and he always notices me and says hello when i walk in. but maybe he ...
A. 15 July 2009: You could be reading this guy right. We women have an instinct that tells us when someone like us. We can read the tell tale signs. Body language questions. Dont rush in there too quickly. You want to get to know him. Move slowly. Start of ... (read in full...)
I can't orgasm from masturbation
Q. ok well I started having sex with my boyfriend and he seems like he knows what he's doing we've had sex at least 15 times it feels good somtimes but I don't ever orgasm so I tryed masturbating and I still can't have an orgasm and when I do masurbate ...
A. 15 July 2009: Having sex and not having an orgasm is very frustrating. tThere are many ways you can do this. Try using sex toys on yourself. Or rubbing yourself on something soft in bed. We all do it its natural and safe. Keep experimenting. You will find ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to start again after your husband has an affair?
Q. 3 Months ago my husband slept with someone at his work, I found out and kicked him out we have a 8 year old son. It took about 6 weeks for us to start talking again I went through what every broken hearted women goes through. I loved him a lot. He ...
A. 12 July 2009: It sounds like there is still something between your ex and yourself. When affairs happen they tend to be a sign of something not right. You have reflected. It sounds like you both need councelling. At least he is trying to open up to you which ... (read in full...)
Been with him 6 years but he says I'm not ready to be his wife yet!
Q. We have been together for 6 years I'm 24 now almost 25 and I'm ready to get married and have a baby. He wants a baby too but says I'm not ready to be a wife yet. He says I don't keep the house clean all the time and I'm supposed to be his best ...
A. 12 July 2009: I feel you are putting pressure on him. Back off a bit aboutthe baby. He is not ready yet. Have you a career? Have you income that will support a baby? Have you a supportive family? Lot so couples are having babies much later in life. He is ... (read in full...)
White female attracted to black guys...
Q. I am a white female and i am really attracted to black guys. Its not just a physical thing, its their confidence. It's just my preference. Everyone has preferences right? The only problem, is there where i live, black guys like white girls for ...
A. 12 July 2009: I am the product of a mixed relationship. My mother was treated very badly by my father as he used her. They married but he had little respect for her. He went on to another white women and battered her. Six babies later and she decided to let go ... (read in full...)
I'm hot, so why doesn't anyone like me?
Q. hey ! right well i just dont get it i mean i havent had one boyfrind in my whole life and i am 15! when i tell people that i havent had one boyfreind and i havent even kissed a boy they are realy shocked! becouse they say i am stunning! ...
A. 8 July 2009: Have a look at the way you carry yourself. The amount of makeup. Do you show a lot of flesh.
All these things turn men off. It may excite them for a short time but after a while they get bored of it. They want a plain Jane with a nice warm pers... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is avoiding me, could it be she cheated?
Q. My girlfriend is not able to speak with me in a normal way for about 2 weeks. She has a cold distant attitude since then. I tried to be patient and told her she will have to tell me one day when she's ready to let me know what's going on with her. T...
A. 7 July 2009: This sounds like an awful situation. ou must be really hurting. It does sound liek she has been with someone else. Leave her for a while. Maybe it was just a fling. She is clearly feeling guilty about it. Because it is not a confirmed ... (read in full...)
What is the right way to ask someone if...
Q. Okay, I'm female 14. I have this cousin a few months older than me. A few years ago when she was visiting this thing happened. I was outside and had decided to go back inside the house and then I heard giggling, so I went to the room it was coming ...
A. 7 July 2009: I agree with Nastasia. It is not appropriate. Speak to your cousion and ensure he does not do this again. If he dtries it with you tell him out straight that itis wrong and that you will tell your mother.
This is for your own good and well don... (read in full...)
Should I book I flight to try and rekindle the passion?
Q. Okay this is the deal…my ex and I were together for 4 years. We owned a house together, about 20 minutes from my family. He broke up with me 2 weeks ago because he felt the passion had died. He moved back in with his parents, 14 hours away! I ...
A. 6 July 2009: Suggest your idea to him. But maybe leave it for a while longer. It sounds like he needs space for himself. Dont contact him for a while then in a couple of weeks suggest it using the excuse you want to finalise the relationship.
let us know ... (read in full...)
Should I continue to encourage him to have contact with his son? Or just forget it?
Q. Hi, im looking for some outside opinions please. I was with the father of my son around four years ago. We were together for 7 months, when i found out i was pregnant he made a very sharp exit and i never heard from him until i was 6 months gon...
A. 6 July 2009: You are in a very emotional pickle. I really feel it for you. It sounds like this guy was not ready to be a father. However, he now has a child. You can not force a man to see his child if he does not want to. However, you can force him to ... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend have an STD?
Q. My boyfriend has white bumps that lead to his penis. They stop at his penis and don't go any further then that. It is very red around that area. Although he has this, I don't have it? I have inspected myself and so has he. So I'm very confused...
A. 6 July 2009: I am not sure what condition he has but I suggest you get himn to check it out as women need to be careful as it can affect your fertility.
tell him not to be embarrassed as many man and doctors see this and treat it.... (read in full...)
What can I do to make my skin clearer?
Q. i dont ahve the best skin.i get acne but i have creams for that but i want beautiful smooth soft skin like alot of girls have.what do you do?..like drink alot of water and stuff..and i bearely use any cream for my body,im too lazy.i need 2 fix ...
A. 5 July 2009: I am an ex acne sufferer. It is inherited as my teenages now have it. It knocked my confidnece badly as a teenager.
Watch your diet as I noticed when i stayed away from chocolate my sknin appeared better. Keep cleaning your skin. Steam it... (read in full...)
I'm only 16 but I KNOW I want to marry my boyfriend. What can we do while we wait to be 18?
Q. We've been together for 9 months, and i know that doesn't seem like alot, and i know im too younge to think i know what love is. And i know many of you who are married or older are going to tell me i am naive and don't know what i'm getting into. ...
A. 5 July 2009: Marriage is a big commitment. Its easy to get into and hard to get out off. It often changes relationships. Get to know each other better. Sort out careers for yourselves so that you can support yourselves. Do not even thing about trying to ... (read in full...)
I'm so upset and hurt...
Q. I liked a guy a few years ago, though he rejected me when he was drunk about 4 times. He didn't care. He does the same sport as me, I left it for 2 years and I fell behind, now he's away ahead of me and he the same age as me. Now I'll never catch ...
A. 5 July 2009: I know how painful it is to be rejected. You need to stop setting yourself up for rejection as you are hurting yourself over and over. Is there something in your pass where you were rejected. I speak from my own experience. I have down the same ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant, but I don't want him to get in trouble.
Q. I am 15 and I'm pregnant with my boyfriend that is four years older than me i need help i don't want him to go to jail i live in florida he wants to be there for me and the baby and he plans to marry me i love him to death is there anything i can ...
A. 4 July 2009: I think you were very foolish to get into this position in the first place. He is old enough to know about precautions and I am sure youwere not that naive. You can have a relationship and sex WITHOUT becoming pregnant.
If he loves you he shoul... (read in full...)
I want to make up with him but I feel so alone
Q. I have recently broken up with my boyfriend. I am not sure why but he has stopped ringing,texting and stopped talking to me.I feel as if everyone is against me, I've heard people talking about me and making fun out of me. I don't know what to do. I ...
A. 3 July 2009: It sounds like you both need space. You have not said what the build up was towards this. Something must of happened. Distance yourself for a while and go out more with friends nad family. Let him ring you.
Good Luck!... (read in full...)
What are the best ways to act when you know your crush is watching you?
Q. What are the best ways to act when you know your crush is watching you? I know that sometimes my crush watches me when we are in lessons or when we're in the same corridor and it might sound a little creepy to some but it's fine with me.... I just d...
A. 2 July 2009: Judging by his behaviour, it sounds like he has a crush on you too. Try and start a concersation with him in irder to break the ice or you may lose him.
I believe in instant attraction and I believe you should grab it while you can.... (read in full...)
We have a baby together but I think he's cheating!
Q. i think my bf is cheating on me but have a baby with him so don't know what to do... he showed no interest in our baby from the beggining and only does now when showing off to friends. i hardly ever see him and even then he only wants sex, he also ...
A. 27 June 2009: This must be really distressing you. You are quite young. I am assuming he is too by his behaviour but that does not make any difference as older man act similiar.
You have a child to look after. Break off with him. tell him unless he can comm... (read in full...)
When is it that friendship starts becoming destructive and harmful?
Q. I have a very complicated situation with a girl... I used to work with her, and we would talk all the time at work. After a few weeks, I was completely smitten with this girl... and it was around Christmas at the time, so I bought her a really e...
A. 23 June 2009: Hi there
I can feel your passion for this girl. At work I feel she felt awkward. As much as many people meet their partners at work, relationships at work can be awkward as everyone watches and gossips. It was probably a gods blessing that you... (read in full...)
FWB..I think he has feelings for me, but is trying to hide it
Q. hey aunts, i have this guy who i grew up with and we never liked each other for anything else but friends when we were growing up...well long story short we've been having sex...we agreed to just be FWB and to not catch any feelings for one ...
A. 19 June 2009: I think he is using you. What a weird situation. dont let men use you. We as women can not cope with it as men do. You are proberly the one getting feelings for him. Ask him if he wants to go out with you and bring it out in the open. It is... (read in full...)
What could this discharge be?
Q. okay so i noticed i have had A LOT of discharge. Mostly when i get up in the mornings. its always clear and has little or no smell.. what is this? I'm almost 17 and i weigh 82 pounds if that helps any.. and no I'm not a virgin. What could this be?...
A. 15 June 2009: It is normal for healthy women to have a clear discharge. It tends to be more after sex. If you have an infection it will smell. As you have not it is just the body cleaning itself and keeping your vagina moist.
Don't worry about it. wear pan... (read in full...)
Mom's boyfriend came into my room and played with me..how do I tell my mom?
Q. okay, last night my mom had to work (as usual). her boyfriend just moved in last week, so he is around when she's not. last night before I fell asleep, he came in my room and sat on my bed. he talked to me about boys and how now i was old enough to ...
A. 13 June 2009: I feel you were very brave coming on to this site to ask for help. This guy is sexually abusing you. If you do not tell someone now it willget worst. If he really loved your mother he would not do this to you.
Tell you mother straight away. s... (read in full...)
How much should you spend on a first birthday?
Q. This is not a relationship question or anything but im kind of stuck as i never had to do this before. My son is turning 1 on July 6 th , his birthday party is going to be thrown on July 11th due to the 4th of july weekend. My question is for all ...
A. 12 June 2009: There is no answer to this. Everyones situation is different. What can you afford? Are you referring to a party or a gift. At this age he will be none the wiser and will get just as much pleasure playing with a cardboard box as a £100 car.
... (read in full...)
I lost my virginity with him, not sure what to say to him
Q. I lost my virginity to this my ex boyfriend like 3 months after we broke up. We dont talk but I really like him and I'm afraid to tell him how I feel because I'm afraid of what he will say. What should I do?...
A. 12 June 2009: Why are you having sex with your ex. It sounds like unfinished business. You two are clearly not finished. Speak to him. Tell him how you feel. If he says there is nothing in it get out of it. Try not to have sex with anyone and less you know ... (read in full...)
I'm really interested, but I don't know how to approach him.
Q. Hi, I'd love it if someone could help me, I'm being driven insane! There's this guy that I like and I've only seen him around for about a year, and up until about 2 months ago, I never really paid much attention to him. But now he's all I think ab...
A. 6 June 2009: Why dont you try a group approach and go out as a group and then try to spend time with him alone that evening. That way it wont look so obvious. Its good you know a couple of him friends. You coild even mention that you think he is hot to one of ... (read in full...)
I just want fun, but he's getting emotionally attached...
Q. I have recently started an affair with a married guy at work. He is a lot more senior than me, older than me and married. It started off with him inviting me to a working lunch and I genuinely thought that's all it was. We then went out again and I ...
A. 6 June 2009: Let it run its course. Dont get sexually involved with him. You will regret it. Never a good idea to mix work witj affairs. You are the one who will come out worst.
Well done for controlling yourself. No harm in a bit of clean flirting... (read in full...)
My married lover just broke up with me
Q. The love of my life just broke up with me. He is married and so am I. We have been seeing each for 3 years and I am devastated. I know he loves me, but feels confused and guilty. I do not want him to leave his marriage. I am content to go on ...
A. 6 June 2009: Guilt is not a nice feeling and not a nice place to be. What is lacking in your marriage? Do something about it. If you are not happy with your husband leave him. Your lover obviously is happy with his wife.
Dont embarass yourself any more. H... (read in full...)
He chases me and then tells me we should never be in contact again??
Q. I'm 48, so I've done the relationship thing before. I've been seeing an (ex) Marine (they're never really ex Marines) who went to Vietnam at 17. He came great guns after me...ending up with stuff like "we belong together," "You belong in my ...
A. 6 June 2009: This is a difficult one. He sounds very confused and he is really playing with your head. I feel his job has a lot to do with him.
You may want to count your loses. He sounds confused. I can not help wondering whether he may have another ... (read in full...)
My husband never comes to bed with me unless he wants sex
Q. hi,just wanted to know if anyone could give me some advice.i am married with two children and pregnant at the moment my husband never comes to bed with me unless we are going to have sex .he has always had an interest in porn and one particular ...
A. 31 May 2009: Hi There I can understand how you feel. when you are pregnant you do tend to feel unattractive. Most women actually glow and look there best. You can still have sex while you are pregnant. Why don't you watch a film with him and try to do so... (read in full...)
I'm the other woman..who got her married man. But now it's all going wrong! Help!
Q. I fell in love with a married man 5 years ago who was funny, attentive and loving all the time and spent most of his time with me including weekends and holidays. He did finally leave his wife who has move on and got remarried with a new child 2 ...
A. 2 May 2009: Hi There
Its a hard position to be in when you are accused of being the cause of the marriae break up. Although he may not have said so, he may resent you for it. However, you are now together. He clearly loves his children and wants to conti... (read in full...)
Was my agreeing to have sex too fast?
Q. so ive had a crush on this guy for about 7 months now. He's always asked me to hang out after a party or something but ive always said no in some way. I rejected him a good 3 times. After a month of not talking because we were on spring break and ...
A. 15 April 2009: You did well to have him hanging on for so long. I dont think by you having sex will turn him off. Its how youact now. If you continue to be hard to get and not living for him, he will find you highly attractive and keep loging for you.
Its g... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has cheated 6 times and I don't know how to get him to stop
Q. I just found out that my boyfriend has cheated on me yet again. This is the 6th time that this has happened and I keep taking him back. The girl called me and said that he was with her on Valentines day when he told me that he had to work. I found ...
A. 14 April 2009: Once a cheat - always a cheat. You did not say how old he was. I am assuming that he is quite young. Some men do not mature until they are a little older and feel they need to get as much as they can while they are young. Some women can tolerate ... (read in full...)
I had sex with my married teacher and now I want him to be with me!
Q. okay i posted a question quite a while back saying i tried to kiss my teacher but he rejected me. However last night i was at a nightclub with my friends and because hes only like 26 himself he was there and we started talking and he was saying how ...
A. 8 April 2009: Alcohol does bad things to people. If you weren't both alcohol fuelled, this would not have happened. It is not loe. It is lust. If he really cared for you he would show it is a different way. Men do not see sex the way women do. He is going ... (read in full...)
What does an open relationship mean?
Q. what does an open relationship mean? my boyfriends facebook status is in a open relationship...
A. 6 April 2009: If you do not feel comfortable with this you need to speak toyour b/f. Open relationships can be bad as we are human and when jealously sets in, its not healthy.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
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