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Mom's boyfriend came into my room and played with me..how do I tell my mom?

Tagged as: Family, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 June 2009) 14 Answers - (Newest, 26 June 2009)
A female United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

okay, last night my mom had to work (as usual). her boyfriend just moved in last week, so he is around when she's not. last night before I fell asleep, he came in my room and sat on my bed. he talked to me about boys and how now i was old enough to be seen as attractive. he said he could make me comfortable with what they would want to do, so that I wont get scared. i told him i wasnt allowed to date until i was 16 and he said that that gives him enough time to teach me. he put his hands down my undies and started playing with me down there. i told him to stop, but he didn't. it started feeling really good so i stop fighting him. i really don't want him to do that again, but i don't want to tell my mom, because she'll hate me for letting him do that. what should i do to make sure he stays away? i know i shouldn't have let him do that and now i feel like i gave him permission to do it whenever he wants.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009):

You should tell someone you trust. My girlfriend got sexually abused when she was seven by her mom's boyfriend. Her mom let it happen! This world is going to hell fast!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009):

TELLL UR MOM!!!! bif she doesnyt believe u

u neeed to go to a safe home a friend aunt cousin something and like other comenters have said keep telling until some one believes you.... a treache counsler priest, neighbor some one...

here are some numbers u can call for help

youth 9line 800 999 99 99

rape n abuse 805 656 1111

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A female reader, babymama99 United States +, writes (15 June 2009):

babymama99 agony auntThis really pisses me off, so I have to say something else.

Just like the other poster said.

Feeling pleasure in your private region is susposed to happen. just like giggling when some one tickles you, or feeling pain when you stomp your toe. This does not make you bad. it makes you normal. The boyfriend knows this and he's is betting on you not saying anything. you need to call is bluff and blow the whistle.

again TELL YOUR MOMMA!

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A female reader, babymama99 United States +, writes (15 June 2009):

babymama99 agony auntLook young lady, I don't care if you jumped on his lap and begged for it. He is a full grown man and you are a young child.

THIS IS HIS FAULT NOT YOURS!!!

You did absolutely NOTHING wrong.

If you where my child I'd be spitting mad but not at you, only at him. And I wouldn't rest until I saw him sitting his behind in JAIL. Let's see who he plays with then.

TELL YOUR MOTHER!! NOW!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009):

You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't ask him to come in to your room and touch you. (As a matter of fact, even if you had asked him to, you still wouldn't be to blame. . .he's the adult and should have said "no")

The fact that it felt good doesn't matter; doesn't make you a part of it. It just happens. Someone throws peeper at your nose, you sneeze. Someone touches your privates, you feel pleasure. That's just the way it is, and doesn't make you guilty of anything!

He is guilty of child sexual abuse. You MUST tell trusted adults and KEEP TELLING until someone believes you and helps you. Tell your mom, I hope and pray she believes you and kicks bf to the police. But she may not. So then you tell more adults. A trusted teacher, a youth group leader, a minister, a police officer, an aunt or good neighbor, school counselor, call Child Protective Services and report it. KEEP telling adults until you are believed and helped. Then get into counseling.

Good luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009):

Tell your mom and tell the police. End the cycle! Do you think you're the first girl he's touched? End his sick nature now! He's sick and he's damaging lives of kids, and thier kids etc. End this cycle now! Tell your mom and tell the police... The sick bastard. There's nothing more precious than a kid and he's taking something you can't replace, not even with theropy, take my word for it(i was a victum of sexual abuse myself)

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A male reader, Your friend Australia +, writes (13 June 2009):

Your friend agony auntYou must tell your mum or he will do this over and over. One way to do this is to tell an aunty, uncle or a friends mum, someone your mother trusts or is close to. Let them tell her if you can't. I can assure once you tell your story that person will come to your rescue but you need to do this now so pick up the phone and call them. At the same time ring two friends and ask them over..now, he is unlikely to go near you with someone else there. As I don't know what time it is there you should tell them that you have put their number on speed dial on your mobile, keep it in your hand always and press the button if he comes near you before help arrives. Don't worry about the money for the call i'm sure your mum will be greatful to pay for it. Please message back anytime so I know you are ok....your friend.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009):

Just go to her directly when he's out and you're both alone and call the police!

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A female reader, QuirkLady United States +, writes (13 June 2009):

QuirkLady agony auntI'm so sorry that your mom's boyfriend took advantage of you. He is the adult and he should never have touched you or told you those things. Please tell your mom what he did. What he did was not your fault, at all, it is COMPLETELY HIS FAULT and he never should have done anything to you.

Please keep us posted. Good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009):

I am an attorney in the U.S.

You were assaulted and molested and possibly raped and in the U.S. the guy would probably go to prison for 20-25 years and wear an ankle bracelet the rest of his life (unless he was killed in prison which frequently happens to pedophiles).

You are being way too cool in responding to this. Your mom wants to be told and will call the police herself.

Some of these pedophiles are very cunning. I would not be greatly surprised to find out he is dating your mom to get to you.

If you wrote in saying you and a young teen boy were playing around, we all might have a different response.

But don't let this happen. How many lives has he already ruined by people not wanting to report him. Do the adult thing and take charge.

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A female reader, Nataliarules United States +, writes (13 June 2009):

Oh my god ur around my age. I would be traumatized if I was you. You ever watch tv and see how girls get raped or sexually harrassed? He just raped u with his hand. No man. I'm telling you, No man or woman or anything should be allowed to touch you where you don't want it. He's going to do it over and over again, like he said about him having enough time to "teach you" stuff. He just wants to use you for sexual thrills. Please tell your mom. Please tell your mom. And if she asks why you let up, tell her you were scared. You must have been scared. Please Please Please tell your mom. He's a sexual predator, and he'll keep touching you, hurting you, and messing with you if you don't tell your mom. I know it'll be hard for you to tell her, but, this man might kill you. So please tell your mom when this man is not around. Otherwise, he's going to hurt you very badly. Your mom won't hate you, what do you think, do you think she'll hate you for getting hand raped by this man? No, she won't hate you. She might be upset you gave in, but she'll understand you were scared. Tell her, for the sake of your life. 3

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009):

Tell you're mom. She won't blame you but you HAVE to do this. Act NOW. In fact, call the police if you can. He RAPED you.

Don't blame yourself, just tell someone and so so SOON

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A female reader, Libra1963  +, writes (13 June 2009):

Libra1963 agony auntI feel you were very brave coming on to this site to ask for help. This guy is sexually abusing you. If you do not tell someone now it willget worst. If he really loved your mother he would not do this to you.

Tell you mother straight away. she may get angry with you as it sounds like he is a new boyfriend and she has just let him into her life and now the relationship is ruined but he will ruin your life as he will start threaten you in order to keep you quite. He knows he will end up in prison. Stop it now before it is too late and he damages you emotionally which will have a severe and negative impact on your future relationships with men and also your mother.

Good luck and keep us posted.

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A male reader, ArmyMedic United Kingdom +, writes (13 June 2009):

ArmyMedic agony auntYou need to tell your Mum and the Police as soon as possible, how many other girls do you think he has sexually assaulted?

Do you really want your mum dating a paedophile?

This is not in anyway your fault, he is in the wrong here and must be punished for what he did to you.

PLEASE TELL THE POLICE!

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