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female
age
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*ewsie8001
writes:I'm 48, so I've done the relationship thing before. I've been seeing an (ex) Marine (they're never really ex Marines) who went to Vietnam at 17. He came great guns after me...ending up with stuff like "we belong together," "You belong in my house"...I love you...We'd been dating about 5 months. He had a meltdown, his words. He dropped out basically with all sorts of work stuff. Basically got rid of everything else. Told me he didn't have it in him to do a relationship. I deleted him from my online account, then stopped sleeping and eating as it literally changed over a one week period.He got back in touch with me, apologized profusely with the most sincere thing I've ever gotten. Told me he didn't know if he could do a relationship as too much was going on in his life. He started seriously flirting, and asked me to the movies/dinner last week. He was called to another state, so it got cancelled. He called Thursday to see if I'd go today (Saturday). He's told me he has deep feelings for me. When he wakes up he thinks I should be there, and when he goes to sleep he thinks I should be there. Also tells me I scare the heck out of him, and all of these feelings scare the heck out of him. (yes he has baggage...so do I)We're going out at 6. He calls me at noon to tell me we should never contact one another again. I'm floored. His closest friends are baffled. We are so in synch, it's odd to me. I don't trust relationship stuff, so I really jumped off the deep end here without a net. I told him a year from now or whenever, he's going to get that he's made a huge mistake, and he told me I'm probably right. That's all just nutty to me.Now what?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2009): Thanks for your post/follow-up! I know exactly how you feel! The world is full of game players...and frankly the effort it takes to find that needle in a haystack, is too much for me!
Thanks again and good luck!
Britt
A
female
reader, Newsie8001 +, writes (7 June 2009):
Newsie8001 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI thank all of the people who have answered. It's cheaper than therapy. In the end, you can't get inside a person's head, I know, so as close as I've been it's even speculation to me. I'm just trying to deal with my end of it now. I'm ultra honest. I don't play games. I married at 18 to someone I met when I was 16, and was married for 21 years, so I don't know how to play the dating games. I met with girlfriends tonight who are much more up on this, and frankly, I feel like I've been out of the loop. I really hope it isn't quite the game playing racket that it sounds like. This is a game 1)I don't want to play, 2)I would lose even if I did.Thank you all so much.
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A
male
reader, Aunty Tommy  +, writes (6 June 2009):
 Although I dont know this person or the situation except how you have described it, I get a feeling this gentleman is frightened of commitement, which is not very helpful for you in this instance.
It seems to me something in his life has scared him to commit to anything meaningful in case he loses it. So rather than going through all the emotions only to lose it (not saying that your relationship wouldn't last)he is avoiding the heartache altogether.
This is not good for you as whilst this is happening, your emotions are being torn apart I imagine.
My advice, although not professional, is to be there for him as a friend and see him through the good and the bad times. My fear is if you seek anything more, it will only be your feelings that will be hurt in the long run. Maybe suggest him seeing a professional to talk through his fear of commitment.
I wish you all the best as you decide on which path to use and would like to hear updates on your situation.
Take care
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (6 June 2009):
 Now you go on with your life, my dear. I don't think it makes much sense to continue your involvement with him. Plus, he ended it, right? You can find someone who won't do this kind of things.
Wish you the best.
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A
female
reader, Libra1963  +, writes (6 June 2009):
 This is a difficult one. He sounds very confused and he is really playing with your head. I feel his job has a lot to do with him.
You may want to count your loses. He sounds confused. I can not help wondering whether he may have another family somewhere. Why can he cont commit to you. these soliders are all over the place. What do you really know about his past. Is he really over it. Was he really hurt.
You can either leave it now and get on with your live or try talking to him but it sounds like he is going to continue to hurt you.
You know best - i am just loooking in as an outsider.
I wish you all the best either way.
LOL
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