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... Send *ibra1963 a private message | | | *ibra1963's profile:I am a mother of 3 and I teach 16 to 19 year olds. I have had many experiences throughout life with men and family problems.
I can relate to many of the problems identified and have always been able to come out of them with my head held high. I would like to help others do that to and see that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
I have felt pain and loneliness. I feel I have the experience to help others. |
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How do I improve my relationship with my sister after her car wreck?
Q. I am from india and live abroad with my sister. She is 25 and i study in medical college. I am 20. She is not my real sister but is adopted. She loves me a lot, and so do i. Recently she was involved in a fatal car accident. She was in hospital for ...
A. 10 January 2010: It will get better in time. time is a great healer. She will get better.... (read in full...)
How to keep a relationship going
Q. a relationship is very important you dont want to loose it over something simple or small to keep a relationship going you need to do a few things always remember ur loved ones birthday and celebrate it in a special way always keep good coversations ...
A. 10 January 2010: I agree that communication is key in a relationship. Nothing turns me off more than a man who does not speak. Trust is also important. If you are in a relationship and a man does not introduce you to his friends and family - get out of it - he is ... (read in full...)
What do I say to my parents? He wants to marry me!
Q. so heres my question im 18 iv been goin out with my boyfriend for 18 months, i love him i really do, he wants to get married hes 19, i do want to marry him but at the same time i dont i really dont know what to say to my parents even if i did say ...
A. 10 January 2010: If you are 18 your info states that you are older. These days not many 18 year olds get married. If they do it rarely works. What you both should be concentrating on is building up a future for yourselves.
Get a profession, go to college.... (read in full...)
I didn't tell him the real reason I broke up with him!
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of days ago and he doesn't understand why. I told him that I could tell that over time, our personalities wouldn't work well together and we would make each other unhappy. That's true but not a very satisfying ...
A. 10 January 2010: You need to be honest with him. These kind of guys do come across quite scary. Tell him that. If he does not know he will not know how to change.
It sounds like he has had rejection in his life and thats why he puts you on a pedestal. He loves... (read in full...)
Casual romance?
Q. For a while now I have really been into this guy. We had a little bit of new years eve romance and have been non-stop texting and chatting since. He came round tonight and there was a fair bit of passion, lets say. He has just told me he doesn't ...
A. 10 January 2010: I agree with the other aunts. You are setting yourself up for hurt. If you realy like the guy tell him that you do not do casual. If he knows from the beginning you will be more respected.
Have you thought why he only wants casual? Its seem... (read in full...)
How do I improve my relationship with my sister after her car wreck?
Q. I am from india and live abroad with my sister. She is 25 and i study in medical college. I am 20. She is not my real sister but is adopted. She loves me a lot, and so do i. Recently she was involved in a fatal car accident. She was in hospital for ...
A. 10 January 2010: Your sister has been through a horrendous experience. She is probably still very depressed about it and probably still in pain. It was very kind of you to help her through. She feels guilty for your studies. The only way to solve this is to keep ... (read in full...)
What are the realistic chances that I am pregnant?
Q. i had unprotected sex 7 days ago which was 11 or 12 days after my last period had stopped. i also had unprtected sex 3 days before that. he pulled out both times but he had visible cum on his fingers the last time and he fingered me with it. ...
A. 10 January 2010: Its too late for the Emergency contraception pill. You normally have to take this the latest 3 days after unprotected sex. Not sure if you are trying to become pregnant but if you do the risks you have taken are more than likely to allow you to ... (read in full...)
My mum is eating herself into an early grave... how can I get her to change?
Q. Please help. I'm really worried about my mum. She's been overweight for as long as I can remember but I'm really starting to worry about her health now. She's very heavy - she must be obese although I'm sure she doesn't realise this or is in denial. ...
A. 3 January 2010: I agree with what Caring Guy said. She is eating because she is bored and probably depressed. Find something she is interested in. Maybe a day centre where she can socialise with others.
Go shopping with her and shop for fruit vegetabl... (read in full...)
15 and pregnant. HELP!
Q. Im 15 And Pregnant, i really need help. So please tell me what you think i should do....
A. 3 January 2010: Dont panic. The other aunts have guided you well. There are many young girls who made the same mistake as you. Your parents may be angry but they will get use to it. You need to decide what you want to do. Do you want to continue the pregnancy? ... (read in full...)
Speedo watcher
Q. I am in love with a guy at the gym who wears speedos! I can't take my eyes off him when he gets in or out of the pool. He is tall and thin but looks incredible in those skimpy speedos. When he gets out of the pool, I have asked him some question...
A. 1 January 2010: You are not in love with him but rather sexually attracted. We are animals and there are certain parts of our bobies that is attractive to the opposite sex. Do you want a fling or a relationship? At the moment all you have on your mind is sex.... (read in full...)
Its been a year of unrequited love, now my teacher seems to be deliberately avoiding me?
Q. OKay, I have written on this before, but decided to stay anonymous, some people may recognize the story. I am in year 12 studying A Levels. I am 16 year old girl. I have had feelings for a teacher at my school for a year now. He was my former He...
A. 1 January 2010: I havent read the whole of your posting but I got the general jiss. You like this guy and he clearly likes you. Problem - he is a teacher in authority and if any signs of his actions towards you came out he could lose his job and his livihood and ... (read in full...)
Trapped! How do I get out of this rut?
Q. I get that there are people worse off than me... but it just breaks my heart that i have hopes, dreams, and talents that are going to waste and my life is passing me by because I don´t have the money to fulfill my hopes and dreams. This sounds li...
A. 30 December 2009: I am glad you have reflected on the responses and are now going to do something about it. Life is what we make it. Life does not make us.
Make the most of the things you have achieved now. I have been teaching brats for 10 years and am now a ma... (read in full...)
I really like this girl and want to ask her out but I have been thinking about my ex lately....
Q. Here's what she does: I sit next to her and she always puts her feet very close to mine, so much it makes me uncomfortable. She doesn't do it to others. Once, she had her leg touching mine, noticeably. I moved away, but put it back touching ag...
A. 28 December 2009: Glad you have come to a decision. Good luck with it and I wish you all the best. Let us know how things progress.
LOL... (read in full...)
I'm not sexually attracted to my boyfriend, and I like the new guy, or is it just a crush?
Q. I have been together with my boyfriend for just over a year now. Its been great - we've never argued, had any problems and we've got on really well. There's just a few personal issues I have. Firstly, we haven't yet had sex. In fact, we haven't ...
A. 27 December 2009: I can relate to some of your feelings as I am going through something similiar. For your boyfriend not wanting to use you sexually is amazing and something special. He clearly sees you more as a person than a sex object. You are not married to ... (read in full...)
Trapped! How do I get out of this rut?
Q. I get that there are people worse off than me... but it just breaks my heart that i have hopes, dreams, and talents that are going to waste and my life is passing me by because I don´t have the money to fulfill my hopes and dreams. This sounds li...
A. 27 December 2009: I'm a teacher. It was not my life's dream - I wanted to travel the world as well working for an airline. Circumstances have me teaching.
I feel the reason you feel the way you do is because you have not got a PERMANENT job. You do not feel lik... (read in full...)
I really like this girl and want to ask her out but I have been thinking about my ex lately....
Q. Here's what she does: I sit next to her and she always puts her feet very close to mine, so much it makes me uncomfortable. She doesn't do it to others. Once, she had her leg touching mine, noticeably. I moved away, but put it back touching ag...
A. 27 December 2009: This girl is clearly having fun with you. dont take her seriously. She sounds like the class clown and in need of attention. she has probably picked up that you like her. She is clearly making a mockery out of your feelings by winding you up.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend didn't give me a Christmas present!
Q. My boyfriend didn't get me a Christmas present. I wrapped all his kids gifts and put mine under the tree. We ad a talk prior to Christmas about exchanging gifts. I didn't was there to be any financial burdon on either of us, so I suggested that we ...
A. 27 December 2009: The best things in life are free - health, companionship, friends, love, happiness........ (read in full...)
I am going through a divorce but I still love her!
Q. I have a problem and I need advice. I am going through a divorce and I have custody of my very young children. My wife is severly mentally ill and her mental condition has really collasped over this past year severly bad. She abused the kids so I ...
A. 27 December 2009: This is a sad situation. I agree with the previous answerer that you should consider moving on. We nly have one life. If your wife wanted help she would have sought it by now. You did not say what her illness is, but she needs to want to control ... (read in full...)
She abandoned me for Christmas... who does this?
Q. In an effort to express and vent, release my story and pain out there and possibly with hope, get a bit of healing in return, I am posting this painful thread here. Her and I were real, serious. Just a few weeks ago, we spoke of marriage, life t...
A. 27 December 2009: I had to learn the hard way that long distance relationships do not tend to work. I feel your pain. Christmas is always a difficult time for relationships, believe me I have been there!
You did not say how long you have know this woman. It soun... (read in full...)
My boyfriend didn't give me a Christmas present!
Q. My boyfriend didn't get me a Christmas present. I wrapped all his kids gifts and put mine under the tree. We ad a talk prior to Christmas about exchanging gifts. I didn't was there to be any financial burdon on either of us, so I suggested that we ...
A. 27 December 2009: Men do find gift giving difficult. It helps if you drop hints as to what you would like. Men are put of by women who are very materialistic. They are turned off even more when they have bought something and its not appreciated. I agree that he ... (read in full...)
Why are we too jealous of each other?
Q. Me and boyfriend are too jealous over each other. Neither one of us have cheated or done anything. we have been together for 2 years. Is there a reason why? and what can we do to change this?...
A. 27 December 2009: You are not in a health relationship if you can not trust each other. If you both really love each other, you shold be able to go places and do things where there are members of the opposite sex and not feel threatened.
There is a big trust is... (read in full...)
I am in the friend zone and want to move out!
Q. Oh what am i to do? and why do i get myself in these situations? Ive been talking to a girl for a few weeks whom ive known for a while but just started to actually get to know.. i feel theres chemistry there but she has a boyfriend.. one who she ...
A. 26 December 2009: She needs time to get over her boyfriend. Leaver her for a while. Do not allow yourself to be used as a rebound. If you get involved with her make sure it is for the right reasons and not just because you were there.
She needs time and space to... (read in full...)
I am worried about having sex with my boyfriend!
Q. right, im nearly 14 and i have a boyfriend. hes older than me, hes 15. hes not a virgin and we do talk about having sex alot. he has fingered me but he only fit 1 finger up and i am very scared of the pain if he does have sex with me, im also scared ...
A. 26 December 2009: You are far to young to be even contemplating having sex. Continuing experimenting with touching. do not let him pressure you into it. Say it for someone special when you are old enough. You sound very inexperienced and the sort of person that ... (read in full...)
I am white and married a black, hubby doesn't see how mean many of his race are to me!
Q. i have been married to a black man for 20 years. my problem...well...i am not black and when we go places together i always get the snobby,rolling eyes and staring hard at by black women. some who goes as far as trying to flirt with my husband ...
A. 24 December 2009: I am a product of a mixed race marriage. This was 40 odd years ago. My mother had a hard time. In the 21st century I am having problems understanding why you are experiencing this. i must admit that some black women can come across quite agresive ... (read in full...)
How can my boyfriend not understand we need to go slow when it comes to losing our virginity?
Q. My boyfriend of a little over a month just tried having sex with me last night. We had not done anything other than making out so at first I thought he was going to finger me but then he unbuttoned his pants. I asked him what we were doing and he ...
A. 24 December 2009: Communicate with him. Tell him what you want. If you dont tell him he wil not know. so what if you are both virgins - you both need to learn what feels right. this did not feel right for you - tell him!... (read in full...)
Should I report my manager for coming on to me?
Q. To get started, I'm 17 and my manager at work (who's a 30 year old loser, by the way) has been pushing himself on me. Saying crap like, "I love you!" or "Are you willing to date me?" Does he honestly think I'm that stupid? I find it amusing because ...
A. 24 December 2009: I agree with the other posters. Tell him that he is making you uncomfortable and that you are not interested. threaten to report him him.... (read in full...)
Will he divorce his wife for me?
Q. I met this guy at work and he was interested in me a lot bcuz he started talking to me and he told me he was in the process of a divorce. Little by little he mentioned to me several times that he loved me. I fell deeply in love with him and we would ...
A. 20 December 2009: I agree that married men are bad news. Its bad enough when a man has children with someone else. You do not know him well enough. There are things going on that are unclear. Why is he driving her car? Are they still being intimate? Why has he ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant by a married man. How do I cope?
Q. I am married with 2 children and recently had an affair with married man who also has two children. It did not last long but the emotional impact ran very deep. I stupidly let myself get pregnant and everything blew up from there. Our spouses both ...
A. 20 December 2009: I feel it is important that the father of the child continues to know his real father or he may grow up distrubed by it all later. I was thinking more for you and the sake of your marriage. A little distance is needed to get this man out of your ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant by a married man. How do I cope?
Q. I am married with 2 children and recently had an affair with married man who also has two children. It did not last long but the emotional impact ran very deep. I stupidly let myself get pregnant and everything blew up from there. Our spouses both ...
A. 20 December 2009: I feel it is important that the father of the child continues to know his real father or he may grow up distrubed by it all later. I was thinking more for you and the sake of your marriage. A little distance is needed to get this man out of your ... (read in full...)
How do I stop hating myself and become more confident?
Q. so hi... i really need help. i have horrible confidence problems. and i dont know how to become confident. like its becoming so bad that i think about killing myself. i feel worthless all of the time. and i am jealous of pretty much all of my feien...
A. 20 December 2009: Ask yourself - why are you not confident? Are people continously putting you down? Move away from them. Have a wardrobe sort out and throw away clothes that do not make you feel good and keep those that do. If you feel confident in the way you ... (read in full...)
I have oral herpes so can I transmit herpes through oral sex?
Q. Growing up, I got a cold sore once a year or so, and never thought anything of it. My dad got them, mom, grandma, grandpa, brother, etc--I never thought anything of it. Call me stupid, sheltered, or whatever, but it wasn't until this past May wh...
A. 20 December 2009: Its best to look this up on the internet or speak to your doctor as we are not tried medics on here. My son suffered from cold sores but they disaapeared themselves having used treatment for a while.
Speak to your doctor.... (read in full...)
Will I always be alone without a relationship?
Q. I’m turning 19 soon, and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve never been kissed. I’ve never been on a date. I’ve never even had a guy express interest. I’ve never even heard rumors that any guys might be interested. I didn’t attend any school dances, ...
A. 20 December 2009: I have picked up on some aspects of yourself that I can relate to. I feel it may be something in your past that has affected your ability to make friends easy as it did me. I had my confidence knocked by my step mother. I found it hard to mingle ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant by a married man. How do I cope?
Q. I am married with 2 children and recently had an affair with married man who also has two children. It did not last long but the emotional impact ran very deep. I stupidly let myself get pregnant and everything blew up from there. Our spouses both ...
A. 20 December 2009: I know it may not be practical but it may we worth a thinging of moving away so you do not have to see him on a regular basis. The time will heal the pain. It will allow you to focus on your own marriage. When you play with fire you will be ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant by a married man. How do I cope?
Q. I am married with 2 children and recently had an affair with married man who also has two children. It did not last long but the emotional impact ran very deep. I stupidly let myself get pregnant and everything blew up from there. Our spouses both ...
A. 20 December 2009: I know it may not be practical but it may we worth a thinging of moving away so you do not have to see him on a regular basis. The time will heal the pain. It will allow you to focus on your own marriage. When you play with fire you will be ... (read in full...)
I was used and abandoned. Found new love but have trust issues
Q. 7 years ago I was at a low point in my life. I was very sad, heartbroken and unhappy. I met my ex girlfriend in the Spring of 2003. She came into my life and pursued me vigorously for two months. In May I agreed to meet with her in person as we ...
A. 20 December 2009: I am sorry to hear of your pain. You have been through a lot. I know you sometimes hear of success stories of people meeting on the internet. I feel there is more unsuccessful stories. first you can not really get to know someone on the ... (read in full...)
Will he ever come back?
Q. This has happened before. My boyfriend of 3 years has broken up with me again. This will be his third time. The first time it was when we first started dating.. No reason, Robert leaves me.. dates another girl.. Comes back.. The next year.. Robert ...
A. 20 December 2009: Stop being a door mat. This guy does not really love you or else he would not be hurting you so much. In time you will look back and ask yourself - why did I waste so much time on this loser. He is young and not ready to settle. You move on and ... (read in full...)
Am I masterbating right?
Q. I am 13 years old and i masturbate but i don't know whether im doing it right, and i have trouble getting aroused and in the mood for it. any tips for me on how to do it? how to get myself ready for it and pleasure myself properly? please help, ...
A. 20 December 2009: Do what your body tells you to. Everyone is different and have different ways of doing things.... (read in full...)
Am I masterbating right?
Q. I am 13 years old and i masturbate but i don't know whether im doing it right, and i have trouble getting aroused and in the mood for it. any tips for me on how to do it? how to get myself ready for it and pleasure myself properly? please help, ...
A. 20 December 2009: Do what your body tells you to. Everyone is different and have different ways of doing things.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my Dad I'm dating a black guy when he said he wouldn't approve?
Q. I'm dating a black guy, we're both 16. My mom is fine with it, but my dad has always told me he wants me to date white guys only, which I think is awful for him to say. So I haven't told my dad yet. I'm worried how he'll react. Race has not come...
A. 17 December 2009: Be honest with him. Most black guys know that when they get involved with white girls they are always going to have to face this - so he will not be shocked. He will just have to work hard at proving that he is good for you. I hope he does not ... (read in full...)
Why won't he spend his money on me?
Q. My boyfriend recently lost his job, and is now on unemployment, so we don't go out as much as we used to. If we do go out, I usually pay for myself, and he pays for himself. It is just expected for me to pay for myself now, and that's fine,but I ...
A. 16 December 2009: Some men are just down right selfish. He is one of those who cant help it. He feels spending money on others is a waste of money. I know the type very well as I am with one now. Either you learnt o accept him for the way he is or move on. He ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my Dad I'm dating a black guy when he said he wouldn't approve?
Q. I'm dating a black guy, we're both 16. My mom is fine with it, but my dad has always told me he wants me to date white guys only, which I think is awful for him to say. So I haven't told my dad yet. I'm worried how he'll react. Race has not come...
A. 16 December 2009: Are you with this guy because he is black or do you really like him as a person? Are you trying to get at your dad because he is trying to guide you? I am a product of a multi racial family and as a child I have seen what multi racial ... (read in full...)
Rumour has it he left his wife and children for me, but I hardly know him!
Q. I started working at my current job at the beginning of the year. This is my first job after university. I am a fairly open and friendly person and am friendly towards all the people I work with. This has led to one of the men at work to develop a ...
A. 5 December 2009: You don't kow for sure he has left his wife. It could all be rumours. You dont know for sure he has feelings for you. You dont know for sure why he hangs around an area.
You could be imaging something that may cause you embarassment in the long... (read in full...)
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