A
female
age
30-35,
*alkingonadream
writes:I have been together with my boyfriend for just over a year now. Its been great - we've never argued, had any problems and we've got on really well. There's just a few personal issues I have. Firstly, we haven't yet had sex. In fact, we haven't done anything very sexual, except for the obvious kissing, holding hands and hugging. I told him that I was completely ready, but he then said to me that he wasn't ready! I was quite surprised and even more disappointed.Secondly, I've never really been truly sexually attracted to him. The reason I said yes to him asking me out was because he was a great guy who was great fun. Isn't there supposed to be sexual attraction too!?Finally - I've just met a really really great guy. Not only do I think he's absolutely gorgeous, we get on so well. Our sense of humour is the same, we're into the same music and our fashion sense matches! We are always together when we're with a group of friends. I'm not sure if I'm starting to like him or if it's a crush. And if I do like him, is it because I'm getting bored of my current relationship? Help!
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male
reader, briantqa  +, writes (3 January 2010):
 If you really wanna know the truth. He is making sure that you are not going to get hurt..he likes you but he is playing it nice and gentle.you should consider yourself lucky.most men wanna jump in bed quick. take a second look at him and realy think what your future could hold if you did wait ..good luck..i hope you make the correct choice..
A
male
reader, bojolay +, writes (27 December 2009):
 I suggest you take some time and ask yourself what you want. Whatever it is, tell your friend and then make a decision. If you want to have sex with the stud then say so, tell your friend. He deserves to know what kind of a woman you are, and you deserve to be free to make your choice and live with the consequences. On the other hand, if you are interested in a relationship based on criteria other than fornication then tell your boyfriend, and tell the stud.
Incidentally, I disagree with Satindesire to the extent that she argues that a "boyfriend" is a sex toy. A boyfriend is a male with whom you have a friendly relationship. It may include sex, but not necessarily. Friendship and sex are neither mutually exclusive nor mutually inclusive, in my opinion. I suggest Satindesire use a more accurate and express term for the person withwhom she fornicates. Perhaps "sex partner" or "the guy I *^*%".
You may want to consider the notion that having sex may appear to be a development of deep intimacy however, that is only temporary. When your hormones subside, you may come to realize that deep intimacy develops from love, trust, friendship and other factors that rise far above the importance of having sex. But that is also your decision.
good luck.
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A
female
reader, Libra1963  +, writes (27 December 2009):
 I can relate to some of your feelings as I am going through something similiar. For your boyfriend not wanting to use you sexually is amazing and something special. He clearly sees you more as a person than a sex object. You are not married to him so you are free to leave if you are ot satisfied with someone respecting you.
If you prefer to excitment of someone you are sexually attracted too and who may not treat you with so much respect - go for it. Its a risk you have too take - it may be the right move or the wrong move - You wont know unless you try. Why dont you try separating from you bf for a while so that you are both free.
He may come back to you - he may not!
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, agonyunclechris +, writes (27 December 2009):
 Never leave the one you Love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.
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A
male
reader, agonyunclechris +, writes (27 December 2009):
Never leave the one you Love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 December 2009):
You like this new guy because he's giving you the attention your boyfriend isn't. So it's time to talk to your boyfriend and see where this relationship is going. If you're not really sexually attracted to him, then you're really setting yourself and him up for hurt later on. You're still young, so you can afford to make choices now, rather than later. If this new guy is offering you what you want, then end it with your boyfriend and move on. If you want to work at it with the nice guy, then work at it.
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