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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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My hearts in prison, but I'm with my ex and our baby, am I committing a worse crime??
Q. Hello everyone. I haven't been on this site in a while, but now i'm in desperate need of it again. My situation is very unique. I fell head over heals in love with someone I met in my past that i've always loved. The thing is, he's in prison for 1...
A. 10 April 2011: Well... its a risk, but its good that john is out of the picture. More importantly, you're happy... what could matter more.
Thanks for the update :)... (read in full...)
Getting involved with married colleague??
Q. Hi, this is the first time I have used a forum for advice. I know a lot of people will judge me negatively but all constructive comments are really appreciated. I have been with my husband for 7 years and married for 6 months. I love him very mu...
A. 9 March 2011: Cheating just before getting married, not feeling guilty or regretting cheating, pursuing an affair with a married man all of which your husband is completely unaware of.
You are everything I don't want in a wife.
Work on your marriage fo... (read in full...)
Is there any sure fire way of knowing if he's at all interested in me, besides asking him?
Q. I've known this guy for awhile now, and I've just recently been getting to know him better. He always smiles at me and says hi, we text each other once in awhile, we always seem to catch each other's eye in class and stuff, but is there any sure ...
A. 8 March 2011: Sure fire way besides asking?
Not unless you're psychic... But show him interest and he'll be more likely to show more obvious signs that he's interested in you, (if he actually is).
Good-luck :)
... (read in full...)
Were we right to tell?
Q. My friend, *Elizabeth* has been my best friend for years. Since we started high school, she's changed. She's sent suggestive pictures, drank, and made out with lots of guys. She's still a virgin, though. Today our two of our best friends and I to...
A. 8 March 2011: Were you right to tell? Well depends on your perspective... from an adult perspective yeah, I'm sure any parent would praise you for letting them know that their child was "off the rails" or in danger.
From a friends perspective... not right at... (read in full...)
I want to prove my parents wrong and defy the distance and make it work
Q. Hello, i just got done talking to my mom about my girlfriend brianna. Brianna and i live a little over 3 hours apart. We met online using a website for meeting people in high school and college. We have been dating for a month and 1 week now. We ...
A. 8 March 2011: Advice? Nah, you'll get enough of that from your parents already... and you're not going to listen to them anyways. Complete strangers haven't a chance at getting through to you if your folks can't.
I agree with your mum... its long distance... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hasn't told his dad about us for 3 years
Q. Ok so me and my boyfriend have been going out for three years now. We started dating when I was 15 and he was 16. Now three years later I am 18 and he's 20 he still has not told his father about us. He is Muslim and I am catholic and his father is ...
A. 8 March 2011: There's a reason he hasn't told his dad and I'm guessing it's because he is pretty sure he'll disapprove or worse... especially since different religions are involved here.
Seems to me like you mostly want him to tell his dad about you as it'll... (read in full...)
Is there any point in pursuing anything other than friendship with him?
Q. Well, there's this guy at one of my jobs whom I like a lot. The other day, he mentioned how he should take me out sometime but, "Not as a date", which I hoped was a positive sign. Later on, I approached him and asked if we could make it a date. He ...
A. 8 March 2011: Well he rejected the notion of it being a date not once, but twice...
Not a great sign.... (read in full...)
Online dating: IMing for only a week and now she's telling me that we're twin souls! Advice?
Q. I met this girl through a dating site. We've been IMing for only a week and now she's telling me that we're twin souls, that I'm what she's been looking for all her life. She said fate brought us together. We've been exchanging fantasies about ...
A. 8 March 2011: I'm with YouWish on this one... she sounds like a giant cup of clingy-ness. Tell her you want to take things slow and whatever you do, don't give her mixed signals, (ie. don't tell her you want to take things slow but then wind up in bed with her ... (read in full...)
I look like a 'porn star' but I want to attract older man, because I am serious inside. Should I tone it down a notch?
Q. I have a question I am a 24year old woman that is attracted to older man mid thirties especially 36 37 year olds. I love the confort of a mature man. BUT i was wondering I am very self conscious and typically look like a always nice and dressed ...
A. 8 March 2011: You may not be looking for an older man for financial reasons, but that doesn't mean that they might not be incredibly wary of pretty young gold diggers...
Where are you going to "attract" these older men? Depending on what age you're going fo... (read in full...)
I'm not a virgin, but I've decided not to have sex again til marriage. This seems to drive men off! Am I being unreasonable?
Q. My problem seems kind of funny, so laugh if you want, but I'm getting a bit frustrated. Although I didn't grow up religious, I'd had a rough time in life and turned to the church. This was a few years ago and I'm now a devout Christian, and have ...
A. 5 March 2011: Unreasonable? Not at all, but realistically, its always going to weed out a lot of guys from your dating pool...
Have you tried dating other christians?... (read in full...)
13 year old boyfriend wears briefs. Does it really matter?
Q. My boyfriend is 13 and he still wears briefs. Does it really matter? He wears ones like these: http://direct.asda.com/george/kid-s-clothing/older-boys/underwear/5-pack-camo-briefs/GEM61476,default,pd.html...
A. 4 March 2011: Wearing camo jocks right now... and you know what?
They're probably older than you.
Judge away. ... (read in full...)
The whole time he seemed like he wanted a relationship too but then just changed his mind..
Q. I was dating a guy for 2 months on a regular basis and he kept persuing me for more dates and everything was going great. He invited me to meet his parents, I hung out with his friends but we both never really spoke about what we wanted we just wen...
A. 4 March 2011: Well he still doesn't want a relationship, that much seems obvious... You've just been randomly seeing each other in bars by pure coincidence, had a pleasant enough interaction and it seems to always be followed by a few weeks of no contact.
... (read in full...)
Is grinding with other guys considered as cheating?
Q. I have a boyfriend and I have girls night out sometimes. So here's my question: Grinding/dancing with other guys considered as cheating? I mean, i wouldn't want my bf to be upset if i dance with other guys but my gfs tell me it's fine... what are ...
A. 1 March 2011: It's not technically cheating, no...
Wouldn't really matter to me though, I'd dump a partner for doing it in a flash and I know I'm not alone in that line of thinking.
... (read in full...)
I'm confused by him, where do we stand?
Q. So ive come to the conclusion that guys are very confusing. They dont seem to know how to express what they want from a girl. So i met a guy who ive known for a little while now. He is in the same organization as me in my university. He approached ...
A. 1 March 2011: You're still wishy-washing with this guy? I know I've seen this post before.
Lets not forget that its not his job to make a move...
Now if you can't make a move, which I think is a total cop-out personally, then you're just gonna have to keep... (read in full...)
We broke up over his emotional affair but I'm having a change of heart
Q. I can't get over my finace. I found out he was having emotional affair on Facebookand instead of talking he called our engavement off and wouldn't admit to this. ( I gave him space to think and told him if we were no longer together (2.5 years) then ...
A. 1 March 2011: This sounds familiar... have you posted here before?... (read in full...)
Does losing temper really mean you care?
Q. Hi all, To start off we are both male Today I asked a friend of mine to stop playing his music up full volume while he was round mine as I had to concentrate on something. He had his other friends with him and he said no, this doesn't sound r...
A. 1 March 2011: I really doubt he would have "stepped up" to you if his friends weren't there. No guy wants to be seen as spineless, whipped or a pushover in front of his friends. I also don't think he would have "stepped up" to you if he knew how much him pla... (read in full...)
Does stress affect morning erections? Or is he not that interested in me anymore?
Q. Hi, I'd love some advice, esp from male readers, about morning erections. Usually, when my bf of 6 months wakes up when I'm with him, he has an erection. But for the last 3 times we've woken up together, he's been soft, and we haven't had sex the ...
A. 1 March 2011: "life is full of ups and downs" lol, just saw that... nice one Annalisa... (read in full...)
Will my boyfriend be upset about my past?
Q. Hello all, I really need some opinions and information, please. My situation is as it follows : I had a bf, then we engaged and wanted to get married. We haven't had actual intercourse, nor did we have oral. But we engaged in some heavy pet...
A. 28 February 2011: err.. what past?... (read in full...)
If a couple breaks up because one of them didn't want anything serious, yet that person marries someone else in a few months...how and why does that happen?
Q. Just wondering when you hear about a couple breaking up , because one of them didn't want anything serious. Then you hear about that person getting married/ having a baby to someone else, maybe months down the line. Why do people do that?...
A. 28 February 2011: Some people genuinely don't want anything serious with anyone at the current time.
Some just don't want anything serious with "that" particular person...
Nothing wrong with making sure you've picked the right person to settle down with though... (read in full...)
Guys: Would you date a woman/girl who wears an afro ( or a style similar to one?)
Q. This is a very short question aimed at men/boys, and I'm hoping for a straighforward answer: Would you date a woman/girl who wears an afro ( or a style similar to one?)...
A. 28 February 2011: I wouldn't personally... just not my cup of tea. ... (read in full...)
Is it possible he wrote the note himself and doesn't want to admit it and that he likes me??
Q. Hello everyone! I met this GUY in one of my classes and the first time we talked it was pretty cool, we are very comfortable with each other. For a couple weeks we just said hi and asked casual questions. One class we started talking alot and...
A. 28 February 2011: Most likely the friend if you ask me.
But anythings possible... guess you'll just have to wait and see :)
Sounds like fun! Good-luck sherlock... (read in full...)
Does stress affect morning erections? Or is he not that interested in me anymore?
Q. Hi, I'd love some advice, esp from male readers, about morning erections. Usually, when my bf of 6 months wakes up when I'm with him, he has an erection. But for the last 3 times we've woken up together, he's been soft, and we haven't had sex the ...
A. 28 February 2011: Guys can be hard yet not turned on...
Guys can be turned on yet not hard...
When are you females gonna stop reading into erections like they're a crystal ball to a mans soul?
To reiterate odds, yes, stress can be a big factor. ... (read in full...)
I googled my girlfriend's name and found a homemade sex video that may be of her. Should I ask her about it, or just drop it?
Q. So, I regularly play on Google just randomly googling up stuff and I tried googling my girlfriend just to see what came up, all ordinary, Facebook, Myspace, etc. Then I took off the filter and after going through many of the main pages, I found ...
A. 28 February 2011: I wonder if there's anyway you could get the website that has her name and city on it to change the name or perhaps remove it?
Worth a shot... You could email them and say that she's underage?
If you're having a hard time being certain th... (read in full...)
My hearts in prison, but I'm with my ex and our baby, am I committing a worse crime??
Q. Hello everyone. I haven't been on this site in a while, but now i'm in desperate need of it again. My situation is very unique. I fell head over heals in love with someone I met in my past that i've always loved. The thing is, he's in prison for 1...
A. 28 February 2011: You need to wake up girl.
You can't let your heart guide your actions 100%, nor can you let your head guide your actions 100%. You need a balance.
Right now you're living in a fantasy land and not thinking straight. You can't use John t... (read in full...)
I googled my girlfriend's name and found a homemade sex video that may be of her. Should I ask her about it, or just drop it?
Q. So, I regularly play on Google just randomly googling up stuff and I tried googling my girlfriend just to see what came up, all ordinary, Facebook, Myspace, etc. Then I took off the filter and after going through many of the main pages, I found ...
A. 28 February 2011: Mmmm... tricky.
I think you should do her a favor and not bring it up with her. She may be devastated to learn that she's in a sex video for the whole world to see. It may cause a lot more hurt to her than you wanting an explanat... (read in full...)
Oral sex or a hand job? Guys, which do you prefer, or are they just the same?
Q. I have a question for the guys here. This is so embarrassing because I'm a female, but which one feels better and why? Hand job or blow job or is it just the same? ...
A. 28 February 2011: BJ's are MUCH better.
Visually more of a turn on, softer and wetter... if I may be so crude. Lets not forget that out of HJ's and BJ's, we can already do one of them ourselves. ... (read in full...)
I need some good comebacks for this sleazebag!
Q. Hi! A bit of help needed. I live in a shared house with four guys and two girls. Most of the time it is really great only something happened today and I want your opinions. It concerns one of the guys. When I first moved in he was overly friendly ...
A. 27 February 2011: Legal? Probably not.
Windex on the other hand...... (read in full...)
My friend told me all men are really gay!
Q. Are all men GAY??? A guy who once had sex with another guy said to me that all men are gay, and that they just wont admit it, that they don't actually want women they just want to get off or have babies? He said stuff like they think the vagina...
A. 27 February 2011: This guy is spinning bull-crap at a rumplestiltskin level. ... (read in full...)
If I told girls I was a virgin would it help or hinder me with girls?
Q. Im 22 years old without a girlfriend atm and I'm wondering if girls would see me differently if I told them I was a virgin....
A. 27 February 2011: It won't attract a girl to you, but if you've got a girlfriend and you tell her, she may love that you're a virgin. ... (read in full...)
I am so beautiful. Are my friends all just jealous of me?
Q. I am so beautiful. I have a really nice body and i have double D's. Flirting comes naturally to me. I can honestly say that a lot of people like me and just want to be me. I'm really popular and i have a lot of experience. All my close friends are ...
A. 27 February 2011: It's taking all of my willpower not to take you down a peg...
But if you think that people like you and want to be you- yet your "best friend" thinks you're a slut, I figure you'll get a reality check from all these people who "like" you soon eno... (read in full...)
He never calls and all of our dates are planned via text. Is it me or is or is something wrong here?
Q. Is there something wrong with a man who never wants to talk over the phone? I know nowadays with the advancement of technology, texting and e-mails are the thing, but this man I have been seeing since Thanksgiving never calls. We have never spoken ...
A. 27 February 2011: I hate talking on the phone, it sucks not being able to see the facial expressions/body language of whoever I'm talking to so I just end up using generic comments like "cool", "oh yeah?" and "I see". That just leads to awkward silences... which I ... (read in full...)
Too wet during sex?
Q. I'm having a problem with my sex life - I'm a pretty tight girl but i get extremely wet during sex to the point where my boyfriend complains that it doesn't feel as good! Does anyone know what I can do?...
A. 27 February 2011: I agree with libra1963. ... (read in full...)
I need some good comebacks for this sleazebag!
Q. Hi! A bit of help needed. I live in a shared house with four guys and two girls. Most of the time it is really great only something happened today and I want your opinions. It concerns one of the guys. When I first moved in he was overly friendly ...
A. 27 February 2011: Pepper spray.
The ultimate comeback.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend always teases me and it hurts!
Q. My boyfriend teases me about everything. No matter what the case may be he's always joking around. He thinks its funny to put me down or embarrasses me in front of other people. He always tell me that I'm either too sensitive or too serious and I ...
A. 27 February 2011: If him imitating you crying is abuse, then I'm the prince of Norway.
If you don't like the dynamic between you too and you've tried talking to him about this, then it may be time to leave and find someone more compatible... He should have ton... (read in full...)
My boyfriend always teases me and it hurts!
Q. My boyfriend teases me about everything. No matter what the case may be he's always joking around. He thinks its funny to put me down or embarrasses me in front of other people. He always tell me that I'm either too sensitive or too serious and I ...
A. 26 February 2011: I have to disagree with caring guy. You sound very sensitive. Teasing and joking around is the dynamic in many relationships, its fun to jostle back and forth playfully. You're just taking it all and don't seem to know how to play into the ... (read in full...)
He said I took advantage of him! What on earth happened here?
Q. I really need someone to tell me what just happened in the matter of two weeks with one of my best friends. He and I have been close for quite some time we are both 31 and should be well beyond acting like children. The sexual tension was building ...
A. 26 February 2011: So basically you love him, he doesn't like you in that way and there was alcohol involved...
That makes more sense.... (read in full...)
My gf hates when I talk to my friends! I can't take it any more! What do I do?
Q. Hey guys I'm 26 and my gf is 20. We have a two year old daughter together and had one hell of a relationship. It turned ugly a few times and had to get my parents to come help us out and referee it. We live together and we tell each other i love ...
A. 25 February 2011: Shame.
I actually thought you could be saved there for a second.
... (read in full...)
How can such a terrible person be doing okay while I'm so unhappy and insecure?
Q. My mind is in a fog. I've written on this site countless times hoping for different answers. Hoping one of which might somehow help me. Hoping that someone has been where I've been and can give me hope and help me to better understand what my issue ...
A. 25 February 2011: Jen, seriously... This site is great and all for some things, but it is NO substitute for professional help.
Please see a professional, a psych, get counseling...just do something! You really need to talk this out and get help for this bizarre ... (read in full...)
We broke up and now have a FWB relationship. I don't get much sex, and I feel used! Should I end it?
Q. So my girlfriend and I broke up a few months back, but kept a FWB relationship till one of us meet someone else. The only problem is that we actually have only had sex once or twice, yet every night she comes to my room, eats my food, watches my ...
A. 25 February 2011: If you've gotten to the point where you spend the night on your couch to avoid her... time to end it.
If you're both waiting until either of you meets someone else and you're not happy with your situation... time to end it.
If you actual... (read in full...)
If a girl touches a guy, does it mean she likes him? I'm not sure if this girl likes me or not.
Q. Last year we had a uni meeting at a beach and it had been drizzling. I was cold and didn't expect the weather to be that bad, so I had only worn a t shirt and shorts. While we were walking in a group a girl who hangs around me sometimes threw her ...
A. 25 February 2011: This happened last year...? Have there been more recent instances of her touching/flirting?
Some girls are just naturally flirty with every guy they seem to meet (and vice versa), so if you've seen her act like that around other guys, I probab... (read in full...)
This man falls asleep while texting me, and is always too tired to come see me! Guys, what is going on in this man's head?
Q. I really need a guy’s opinion about this please. Such a long story, but basically, I've liked this guy for 10 years. 2 years ago, he broke up with his long term girlfriend and we got together for about a month because I was moving away for a year. ...
A. 25 February 2011: You've seen each other a couple of times in the past 6 months? How far away do you live from each other? Are you still going out now or did you transition back to being friends? Have you visited him at his place much?
Can only really guess as... (read in full...)
Do breaks work?
Q. He wants to take a break. He's already made plans with a co-worker to find a new place for both of them, which implies signing a lease and agreeing to contribute to another household. I'm 7months preggo and I haven't been the easiest to get alon...
A. 24 February 2011: 100% agree with caring guy on this one... (read in full...)
My gf hates when I talk to my friends! I can't take it any more! What do I do?
Q. Hey guys I'm 26 and my gf is 20. We have a two year old daughter together and had one hell of a relationship. It turned ugly a few times and had to get my parents to come help us out and referee it. We live together and we tell each other i love ...
A. 24 February 2011: I applaud you for standing up to her, really, it took guts.
But its easy to stand up to her once... the hard part is standing up to her whenever she tries to test your boundaries or manipulate you to change back to the way that made her feel mor... (read in full...)
He said I took advantage of him! What on earth happened here?
Q. I really need someone to tell me what just happened in the matter of two weeks with one of my best friends. He and I have been close for quite some time we are both 31 and should be well beyond acting like children. The sexual tension was building ...
A. 24 February 2011: Hmm... does he have a partner? Or perhaps a woman or an ex that he's chasing?... (read in full...)
My gf hates when I talk to my friends! I can't take it any more! What do I do?
Q. Hey guys I'm 26 and my gf is 20. We have a two year old daughter together and had one hell of a relationship. It turned ugly a few times and had to get my parents to come help us out and referee it. We live together and we tell each other i love ...
A. 23 February 2011: So when you were 18, this girl was 12... and yet she now keeps your testicles in her coin purse. I can't be the only one that sees how pathetic that is and how much you need to stand up for yourself. You're a man for flip sake!
Hones... (read in full...)
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