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Why won't my boyfriend let me see him naked?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 January 2011) 10 Answers - (Newest, 2 January 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 18-21, anonymous writes:

Hey, My boyfriend and me have been dating over a year, neither of us are sexually active yet but we both really want to. Me and him do foreplay etc but hes started to ask me for Bjs etc. But he wont take off his top or bottoms so I can help satisfy him, Plus when I do touch him its under his clothes so I never see but I let him take off my pants and panties etc. And he wont even take his top off around me. Because a few months ago we went to the beach and he put on a spare top and told me not to look so I wont see his chest.

So..

Why wont my boyfriend let me see him topless/bottomless and how do I get him to feel comfortable doing so?

View related questions: foreplay

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011):

Hey Its me.

I understand all of your answers but he does take off his top around other people but me. I'm the only 1 who he never takes his top off around. He does it when he goes swimming even around other girls but never around me.

Its a bit weird imo.

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A female reader, Fabulosa United States +, writes (2 January 2011):

Fabulosa agony auntHe's not ready yet. He wants to be ready. But he's not. Give the boy some time. U both r too young

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011):

If you do not tell the truth about yourself, you can't tell it about other people

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (2 January 2011):

Tisha-1 agony auntYou're 13-15? Presumably he is too? Both of you should wait a couple of years, then when you're older, and more mature and hopefully more confident, he'll be able to talk about it and you'll be able to ask him directly.

You are underage for sexual activity in the UK, sorry but there's a reason fir those laws. You're really kind of showing that you aren't ready by posting a question when you could simply talk to him about it.

Good luck, don't rush things.

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (2 January 2011):

Jmtmj agony auntWhen I say "over compliment" I don't mean to tell him he has a 6 pack when he doesn't. I mean overly compliment him on what you like about his body genuinely so that you can build up his self-image.

Just to clarify.

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A female reader, FluffyPie United States +, writes (2 January 2011):

FluffyPie agony auntAt this age he must be insecure about his appearance. He might be too hairy, his muscles might look like pancakes, maybe he thinks he's too thin, that you can see his bones through the skin (or too fat, I don;t know what he looks like) and so on. Reasons could be many, he could have a nasty scar or something...

Anyway, just reassure him that you like him the way he is, touch (or kiss) the body areas he doesn't feel comfortable with to show him that you don't mind. Tell him that we all have flaws and that there is NO perfect body. I'm quite sure he's already heard this so many times, but coming from you it might just sound different to him. Take it baby-steps, don't force him into getting naked and don't be harsh on him.

So yeah, good luck!

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A male reader, Zorro19 United States +, writes (2 January 2011):

I cant seem to figure out why he wont let you see him bottomless but I have a theory about why he won't let you see his chest. I had the same problem with my girlfriend. I was extremely self-conscious about my chest because I have some condition called pectus carintum or something like that. There's two types. One where you sternum sticks out and the other type is where it goes inward. So pretty much your ribs kinda stick out a little. Some cases are worse than others. I made mine seem worse than it actually was. Also you can cover it a little with muscle. Look it up on google. Anyways thats one possible reason as to why he wont let you see his chest. Or maybe he's self conscious about something else. Maybe third nipple? Really hairy chest? I dont know just throwing out ideas. Let him know your comfortable with him and his body and tell him to trust you and not be shy. Thats all it took for my gf to let me show her my chest. After that I had full self-esteem. Hope this helps

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A male reader, koreanwizard1994 Korea - Republic of +, writes (2 January 2011):

yea he's probably insecure about his physique. tell him you like him just the way he is:) or maybe he wants to show you a surprise 6 pack. but talk to him about it. say it turns you on. don't over compliment his body for what it isn't

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (2 January 2011):

Jmtmj agony auntWell he's clearly insecure about his body... Maybe overly compliment him on how hot his body is, touch him whenever you can and I'm sure he'll eventually come around.

Goodluck :)

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A female reader, Mjfbla United States +, writes (2 January 2011):

Mjfbla agony auntWell maybe ask him why he wont let you? It seems like it maybe more then him just being a bit shy. Ask him. Tell him you love his body how it is, and you want him to show you. But with that some guys are just really uncomfortable with their bodies so push the subject a lil at a time. And never get upset that he wotn show you.

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