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I'm saddened and turned off by her?

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 October 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 16 October 2013)
A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

So recently my ex and I got back together. We are lesbians. I thought she truly xared for me. In the past few months even prior to my breakup ive been on a quest to stop masking my beautiful features. So ive begin getting my hair done weekly, nails done, eyebrow arch, new clothes, purses, shoes, perfume. Im naturally a 7.5 but with any effort im a hands down 10. My girlfriend have been obsessed with my looks. She likes it more than she did the me she knew for 3 years. She even submits to me n call me much. Im however saddened and turned off by her. Its like she praises me and tell me im a woman now. When she does that it insults the me that is and was. Why am I angry with her when this is what she is attracted to. She isnt a diva but wants one. The upkeep for a diva is pricey too. N she thought my 95 dollar set of ralph Lauren romance was expensive when it cane in a set and was a great deal. Why am I not feeling her after learning how she feels about my transformation.

View related questions: got back together, lesbian, my ex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2013):

You have to feel loved no matter how you dress , with or without makeup as well ..

Give her the benefit of the doubt? Have a chill night at home just DVD and vino and nibbles .. Do not dress up...

Watch her reaction / behaviour if she pests you to dress up like before you have your answer ..

As I said before we all want to be loved, appreciated, for who we are.. Not for what we wear on our bodies n face as enhancements .

Take care x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2013):

Thanks for the comments. I feel like im really only liked by her now and irresistible because I look like a a barbie doll. I feel like when I want to unwind and dress down plain she wont like me. I like looking beautiful. I feel like she chose to get back with with once she saw the new look. I cant overlook how it seem. More advice pls

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2013):

I'm a pretty girl who scrubs up well haha but to me make up though it emphasizes all the parts I want to make .. My eyes my lips my high cheeky cheek bones .. To me it is a mask, to hide behind .. I am much more me .. Cleaned faced in jeans n tshirt chilling ..

I think your insulted as she likes or is turned on by your she goddess look rather than ' you' .. The she goddess is artificial Nd we all have to clean our faces and go to bed and at that stage, we want someone who wants/needs and appreciates the ' real us' with all our flaws and all..

As this is something you ' like' doing I can't really advise . Other than if it were me and it made me feel awkward or I thought my partner was obsessed by my 'look' rather than me . I think it woulda like me question the relationship and where it was heading .. Your partner should be blown away by you ' with or without' the make up ..

Time for a cuppa n a chat I think !!

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A female reader, jls022 United Kingdom +, writes (16 October 2013):

So you have been making more of an effort with your appearance and you're sad and turned off that your girlfriend is more attracted to you? Finding you more attractive now does not make her shallow, it's normal and is what most people would want when they started making more effort to look nice. It sounds to me like you're trying to look for reasons to be annoyed with your girlfriend because you want out of the relationship. If that's the case then please just end it now because your girlfriend doesn't deserve to be treated that way. If that's not the reason then all you can do is stop the new beauty regime and have things go back to the way they were before. If you have an issue with people finding you physically attractive and you are a 'hands down 10' then this will be an issue you face regularly with anyone you are dating.

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