A
female
age
30-35,
*alletchick76
writes:Hi peoples! Not to prescribe to stereotypes or anything, but it seems like every guy I've been with always says "I want to see you" when I say I want to keep my shirt on during sex or want the lights turned off. Anyone else notice this or wonder why? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2013): Thanks, CMMP!
OP- did you not carry out the thought exercise?
Imagine this alternative; next time you're with your guy, he instead asks you to turn the light OFF before taking your clothes off? And even then to put your shirt back on so he wouldn't have to look at you at all??
Imagine that this same thing happened every time.
How would that make you feel? Wouldn't you be at all hurt / insulted that he didn't really want to have to look at you?
You need to feel comfortable being naked with someone before you can feel comfortable having sex with them.
Do you enjoy sex? Did you feel that you were 'ready' to be this intimate with someone? Only ever do what you enjoy and feel comfortable with.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (10 October 2013):
What she's saying, and it's a good point, is that he wants to see you naked because he likes what he sees. Had he preferred the light off or clothes on that'd be something to be concerned about.
...............................
A
female
reader, malletchick76 +, writes (10 October 2013):
malletchick76 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Female anon, I'm sorry but I'm not really following XD
...............................
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (10 October 2013):
 Your young and still conscious about your body.. But in the bedroom, men are not like doctors. They are not looking for flaws or examining you, they do not think like that.
They look with the eyes of a lover, not a doctor. They like the way you look, it makes them excited and sexy. If you hide, then they feel disappointed.
Instead of thinking so much with your head and worrying about yourself, watch the man, watch his eyes, listen to his breathing, you will see that you're making him happy, making him feel sexy and excited. Women's bodies are so different from men, they are soft and small and beautiful and that what makes him hot.
He likes to look, because he thinks you are sexy and beautiful and it makes him get excited and eager to touch and kiss you.
He's a lover, not a doctor...
...............................
A
female
reader, malletchick76 +, writes (10 October 2013):
malletchick76 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFemale anon, I'm sorry but I'm not really following XD
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2013): To turn the question on its head; how would you feel if a guy asked you to turn the light OFF before taking your clothes off? Or to put your shirt back on so he wouldn't have to look at you??
Be pretty insulting, wouldn't it!
Think about it.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2013): Men look at other women on the street compulsively even when standing next to our GFs.
Men look at porn to masturbate constantly even when it threatens to piss off our GFs if we get caught.
Men want to see our GFs naked when we have sex.
Men are visually stimulated when it comes to sex. I don't know why so many women reject this concept. Its like they want to find any other possible explanation for stuff men do besides that. But that is really what is going on. Our brains are just driven by visual sexual stimuli more than women's brains are.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (9 October 2013):
 You're being appreciated. Maybe you aren't comfortable with your body and being fully exposed, it's a pretty vulnerable place. My advice is to go to bed only with a man you know well and trust, that may help avert that feeling.
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (9 October 2013):
And he feels like you're trying to hide.
...............................
A
female
reader, malletchick76 +, writes (9 October 2013):
malletchick76 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just feel like I'm being examined or scrutinized.
...............................
A
female
reader, jls022 +, writes (7 October 2013):
Because they want to see you! I'm quite shocked this surprises you actually - men liking naked women is not really news! Is there a reason why you are willing to have sex with someone but you don't want them to look at your body?
...............................
A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (7 October 2013):
 I don't like having sex in the dark either! You can't see what you are doing and it's clumsy!!
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (7 October 2013):
Uhhhh, because guys like boobs.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 October 2013):
Men are visually stimulated, which means they like to look. It fires the pleasure centers in their brain. It's basic physiology for them. I don't wonder why at all. They are not judging when they look, they are appreciating and enjoying and are thankful to be able to look. We women often try to hide our bodies because we are afraid of having a few extra pounds or a weirdly shaped nipple or other insecurity-inducing self-assumed physical flaw.
I would ask why you'd want to keep your shirt on during sex? And why you want the lights turned off?
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (7 October 2013):
 Why hide under a shirt or in the dark? Don't YOU want to see him?
I understand being modest and maybe not totally comfortable with being naked with another person, but.. if you can't be comfortable how can you even consider having sex with that person?
If the lights on is too much for you opt for some candles or a night light.
Sex shouldn't be hidden in the dark. And part of it is not only the physical side but taking your partner in, visually, audio and through the body contact.
Get comfortable with YOU being naked by yourself before having sex.
...............................
|
