Like what
she writes?
... Add *eema to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *eema a private message | | | *eema's profile:I'm a mature lady with a great deal of life experience. I guess I now agree with a friend who used to say 'we don't grow old, we grow wise'- doesn't mean we don't make the same mistakes, but we see them a lot quicker and hopefully have developed the tools to deal with them. I enjoy sharing my wisdom with those in trouble, just as I enjoy others sharing their wisdom with me when I am in that place too. We are all interconnected on this planet and we all need a leg up at times. It's great there are places like this for us to come. Love and blessings. |
|
Problems in my polyamorous relationship with one partner. I need advice.
Q. Hi can anyone help me? Im in a polyamory relationship, but my one partner is driving me to dispair. He thinks that because i were with him 1st he should take priority over my other lover. His jelousy is pushing us apart not bringing us clos...
A. 17 August 2008: For the Moderator - Don't think I was rude in any way, just gave my honest opinion. Knew the reaction would come though and thats why I said I won't say any more. And I won't. Best wishes to all involved, its not my life anyway.... (read in full...)
Problems in my polyamorous relationship with one partner. I need advice.
Q. Hi can anyone help me? Im in a polyamory relationship, but my one partner is driving me to dispair. He thinks that because i were with him 1st he should take priority over my other lover. His jelousy is pushing us apart not bringing us clos...
A. 14 August 2008: Hate to be the party pooper here, but I feel so sorry for your husband. How would you think he feels now? You two have something to share that he is totally not involved in. I hate to say it, but I think its really selfish of you. You want your ... (read in full...)
I have a real problem with trying to talk to him about things...
Q. My boyfriend and i always argue and the other night we had a blazing row, i said i didnt want to argue again and we've agreed to take some steps to try and prevent arguments.. anyway its made me think he doesnt love me like he used to (or he loves ...
A. 13 July 2008: Well, at least you know the truth now. You're not imagining it, he's told you straight out. So it depends on what YOU want. Do you want to be his sister, or do you want someone who really loves you and can fulfill your needs in every respect, or ... (read in full...)
Problems in my polyamorous relationship with one partner. I need advice.
Q. Hi can anyone help me? Im in a polyamory relationship, but my one partner is driving me to dispair. He thinks that because i were with him 1st he should take priority over my other lover. His jelousy is pushing us apart not bringing us clos...
A. 27 June 2008: Well hope it lasts. Your hsuband is being magnanimous in accepting the situation. I hope he gets the reward he deserves for that and I hope when the babies start to arrive he can cope with that too. I hope you all continue to grow as people for ... (read in full...)
I'm only with my wife for the sake of my children. I don't want to hurt anyone, but...
Q. Hi everyone, I have a big issue in my life right now, I am 45 years old and have been married for 15 years and have 2 wonderful teenage daughters, the thing is i no longer love my wife and we do not get on at all, i have stayed in the family home ...
A. 13 June 2008: Wow you are so brave to come back and write that. So sorry you learned such a hard lesson, but happy that you did learn it. You will survive this and go on to do whatever is in store for you. I wish more people in extra marital relationships ... (read in full...)
Should I be patient with him?
Q. QUESTION: Should I be patient with him? I'm a 'single' 30 year old female (with 2 sons ages 8 and 9 - different fathers) and have dated men older than myself (e.g.45yrs) in the past. Been out of a relationship for 2 yrs...was not 'looking' for an...
A. 13 June 2008: Hi, I've obviously missed loads while I've been away so excuse me if I repeat something you already heard - but way back when I replied to you, I was doing it from experience. When I met my man I thought he was 40 and he thought I was 40 - turns ... (read in full...)
I'm confused by this break up, all he said is he doesn't deserve me and that I can do better!
Q. I need advice please, i am a 27 yr old female and have just broken up with my boyfriend of 3 years a week ago. We were living together for 2 years. I happilly gave up my job and former life to make a life with him. I am at a job i enjoy, i passed ...
A. 10 June 2008: Sometimes people say things like that when they know they are going to hurt you, its kind of a gentle let down, but in such an emotional state it leaves you very confused. Bottom line is he's gone hun, he had to get out of a 3 year relationship. ... (read in full...)
Should my fiance's fantasy become reality?
Q. I have a wonderful fiance and we've been together for 8 months. He is HOT in every way, personality, looks and lovemaking. Once I mentioned that I wonder what it would be like to be w/a woman, and now, several times he has mentioned that it would be ...
A. 10 June 2008: Well there was a lady on here not so long ago - most of the other aunts will remember this lady - and she had the same thing going but with 2 men. All I can say is, it was not a happy situation, and there seemed to be a lot of heartache involved. ... (read in full...)
Do you get in the middle? Boyfriend's parents are cruel to him...
Q. I've been going out with my boyfriend for about 3 years- we get along very well and each of us has gotten "family approval," haha. One thing has been bugging me though- they treat him so poorly. He's the middle child- has a brother 5 years ...
A. 10 June 2008: This is a tough one. Its hard to see someone you love being treated that way, but you can't really do anything. Its his fight not yours, and he probably won't be able to do much until he leaves the house, as we all play those roles when we are in ... (read in full...)
Should I be patient with him?
Q. QUESTION: Should I be patient with him? I'm a 'single' 30 year old female (with 2 sons ages 8 and 9 - different fathers) and have dated men older than myself (e.g.45yrs) in the past. Been out of a relationship for 2 yrs...was not 'looking' for an...
A. 10 June 2008: He's very young, maybe not ready for the commitment you want. You are far more mature and have 2 kids to think about. He is almost behaving like one of them. It seems you are also treating him like a son, paying for his phone cards etc, so yes he ... (read in full...)
I need your opinions on staying in my ex's flat for a weekend!
Q. Okay- I need advise. Might sound trivial but it would be good for me to hear other people's opinions. I was supposed to visit my old city this weekend for a Summerfest. Planned on staying with a friend who told me today he would be out till saturday ...
A. 10 June 2008: Doesn't sound like it would be fun hun. You've got so many doubts about it all - and you have to listen to those, they're not there by accident. If all your friends aren't going and you're just stuck with someone who's not actually very good for ... (read in full...)
Does he like her or not? How would his actions change if he found out she liked him?
Q. Ok just a question, i'll try and make i short. If a guy who was sorta shy and everything had feelings for one of his girl mates who he was on a course with, so he would see her a lot and he showed lots of signs of liking her and stared at her a lo...
A. 10 June 2008: Ooooh this is really confusing. Can't get my head round all the she saids and he saids :))))). Is the person really you and you're too shy to say? Thats how it comes across to me.If it is, don't worry, we're all dorks sometimes so don't be ... (read in full...)
Problems in my polyamorous relationship with one partner. I need advice.
Q. Hi can anyone help me? Im in a polyamory relationship, but my one partner is driving me to dispair. He thinks that because i were with him 1st he should take priority over my other lover. His jelousy is pushing us apart not bringing us clos...
A. 5 June 2008: I think you love your husband but your not in love with him. Happens all the time. He knows that. If we can see the fascination with the new man - then believe it - so can he, thats why he's so insecure. If it were equal feelings he wouldn't be ... (read in full...)
Save me please, does he love me and the kids? Can we ever be happy again?
Q. Hi My husband is the only news editor in his ofis. Its a daily news paper and works hard as he says. I dnt know what he has to do in the ofis but might be quiet bz. He comes home ofcz to eat, bath and to sleep. Usually he comes home late around 2...
A. 3 June 2008: Oh dear, poor you. You are very upset. You know your husband is cheating on you or has cheated in the past. He's abusing you. Those are the facts. Do you want to be with someone who does that to you? It only makes your self-esteem go down and ... (read in full...)
Torn between two guys, don't want to hurt either of them
Q. I have a boyfriend of 4 years (i'm 22), but recently I met another guy, and we really hit it off. We would talk on the phone all night long, and recently I cheated on my boyfriend with him. I feel so low, believe me, I am not proud of what I did, ...
A. 3 June 2008: Hi honey. Think youknow your relationship is over and you're just finding it hard to say so. Its never easy to end a relationship but I have to tell you that one day you will wake up and know you can't doit any more and then you will do what you ... (read in full...)
I have a real problem with trying to talk to him about things...
Q. My boyfriend and i always argue and the other night we had a blazing row, i said i didnt want to argue again and we've agreed to take some steps to try and prevent arguments.. anyway its made me think he doesnt love me like he used to (or he loves ...
A. 3 June 2008: I think you should send the text. It came straight from the heart and men like it when we speak from the heart. Try it, you have nothing to lose, cus if he doesn't want to know then theres your answer. Its better than being in the limbo land ... (read in full...)
Am I gay or Bisexual?
Q. I was at a party and got real drunk. I was barely able to walk, and my friend helped me into the bathroom to pee. He undid my pants, pulled out my penis and held it for me to urinate. I started to get an erection, and after I was done peeing, he ...
A. 3 June 2008: Well whatever you are, don't worry about it, you're not hurting anyone else and its between 2 consenting adults. Just let the story unfold and see where it leads you, cus the way will be shown to you. It must be very confusing if you never had ... (read in full...)
Should I meet up with him, even though he has a girlfriend?
Q. I really need your help..this is really killing me! i feel for my friends and he knows how i feel i told him about 7months ago...after i told him i didnt keep in touch with him but he did with me mainly through text messages etc..then one da...
A. 3 June 2008: What a lot of confusion here. A lot of people involved too. Think there needs to be a lot of communication going between the 2 of you instead of all the guess work. You both need to come clean about what you want. If you think that will scare ... (read in full...)
Why would you put a picture and you and your ex on facebook?
Q. Hi all, Me and ex g\f broke up about 3 months ago. We keep in touch every few weeks, just to say 'hi' and catch up. She does not want reconciliation Anyway, i have just logged onto Facebook and she has just posted a picture of me and her o...
A. 3 June 2008: Maybe she just wants to look as though she's got it all, so that she doesn't look like a billy no mates to all her friends or maybe she just likes that picture of you both as you look close, as you say. I think my first thought is the right one ... (read in full...)
I took his socks, is it really selfish???
Q. Me and my husband went snowboarding, my feet were very cold, and i stayed in the snow a little longer, than they got to a point that i couldnt feel them any longer so i decided to go put on some more socks on to see if that would help, i notified my ...
A. 3 June 2008: I think the issue here is not the socks at all. I think something else is going on in the relationship and the socks is the final straw, and I think thats why you are bothered by it. A while ago I went bananas at my husband for treading paint all ... (read in full...)
Do you think my BF still loves me?
Q. I have a bf.We been together for 5 yrs.but this last yr our relationshp goes upside down.we never spend a lot of time together.He said I did mistake,but that is long time ago.He said he don't love anymore.But he always there for me when i need him. ...
A. 3 June 2008: Poor you, you sound really sad and worried - and thats not doing you any good. But the truth is he already told you he doesn't love you any more - ouch that really hurts doesn't it. He's now messing you around and you have all sorts of suspicions. ... (read in full...)
Do I have a problem with my direction?
Q. Hi! I'm a 15-year-old girl who is straight and who loves boys! My sister is a lesbian and she gave me some episodes of the L World to watch last week.I wasn't ok with that coz'i'm not a dyke!!!I watched the show and I loved it!!! Now when I go on...
A. 3 June 2008: Hi. I don't know too much about homosexuality - other than everyone knows - but it always seems to me that when I hear people speaking about it, they always knew from when they were quite young that they liked their own sex. It didn't ever seem to ... (read in full...)
Problems in my polyamorous relationship with one partner. I need advice.
Q. Hi can anyone help me? Im in a polyamory relationship, but my one partner is driving me to dispair. He thinks that because i were with him 1st he should take priority over my other lover. His jelousy is pushing us apart not bringing us clos...
A. 3 June 2008: Really don't want to get into this one any more - wow you lot are really knocking spots off each other, its so fascinating how a subject raises so many issues, but then thats what good debate does - but just have to add something here. In every ... (read in full...)
Problems in my polyamorous relationship with one partner. I need advice.
Q. Hi can anyone help me? Im in a polyamory relationship, but my one partner is driving me to dispair. He thinks that because i were with him 1st he should take priority over my other lover. His jelousy is pushing us apart not bringing us clos...
A. 27 May 2008: Well you're giving me the answers love, so you know what you're doing, don't you? What more can we say? Good luck.... (read in full...)
Problems in my polyamorous relationship with one partner. I need advice.
Q. Hi can anyone help me? Im in a polyamory relationship, but my one partner is driving me to dispair. He thinks that because i were with him 1st he should take priority over my other lover. His jelousy is pushing us apart not bringing us clos...
A. 26 May 2008: Oh boy, you really are asking a lot of no. 1 in that case. Poor bloke has been around for 30 years, and then suddenly you bring in a young buck, with a bigger dick and you obviously like that and he's expected to roll over and be happy? Come on ... (read in full...)
I'm only with my wife for the sake of my children. I don't want to hurt anyone, but...
Q. Hi everyone, I have a big issue in my life right now, I am 45 years old and have been married for 15 years and have 2 wonderful teenage daughters, the thing is i no longer love my wife and we do not get on at all, i have stayed in the family home ...
A. 26 May 2008: \\its too late for regrets now, you already done it. Can't go backwards in time I'm afraid. She made her own choices too, so you can't be blamed for that. Your first responsibility is to the family you already have. Like I said before, get that ... (read in full...)
The more he says NO, the more I want my HOT neighbour!
Q. Ok I have never ever done this before! I am always a good girl who hasnt slept with many people. I never sleep around and i always make sure I am proctected. I have this neighbour who i find very attractive! I life at home with my parents and i have ...
A. 26 May 2008: There there. Is that OK? And by the way, I'm not American. Old Fool is right. Take your problem elsewhere and see what the response is. We all tried to help you right from the word go, but you weren't listening. You wanted someone to say it was ... (read in full...)
I'm lonely when I come home and unsatified with my job - stuck in this daily routine!
Q. fed up with my life, Im always bored by it. My job I dont enjoy but I cant find the job I want- no1 is giving me the chance and its disheartening and Im starting to lose the mojo to keep looking for it. Lonely when I do come home, so I seem to end ...
A. 25 May 2008: You sound like you need a life coach - someone who will point you in the right direction and give you some guidance to see where you are going in your life. If you want to mail me privately on here, I might be able to give you some advice. In the ... (read in full...)
We are planning a child in a year from now. Safe sex for the moment?
Q. I m asking in general that having sex using condoms daily with wife is safe or not. Or are there any paricular days in a week when we can have sex.If later on she gets pregnant will there be any problem because we are planning for a child after one ...
A. 25 May 2008: I always used condoms in between my babies and they were fine. They may not be the most spontaneous thing when you're making love, but they do the job. They would do no harm either. There is really no safe time to have sex without contraception ... (read in full...)
Problems in my polyamorous relationship with one partner. I need advice.
Q. Hi can anyone help me? Im in a polyamory relationship, but my one partner is driving me to dispair. He thinks that because i were with him 1st he should take priority over my other lover. His jelousy is pushing us apart not bringing us clos...
A. 25 May 2008: Doesn't sound as though this is working out too well does it? You have to be veeeeeeery secure in yourself to be able to cope with having a relationship where 3 or more people are involved. Doesn't sound like no l is that secure. So you have to ... (read in full...)
I'm only with my wife for the sake of my children. I don't want to hurt anyone, but...
Q. Hi everyone, I have a big issue in my life right now, I am 45 years old and have been married for 15 years and have 2 wonderful teenage daughters, the thing is i no longer love my wife and we do not get on at all, i have stayed in the family home ...
A. 25 May 2008: Hmmmm. This is messy. I know what its like to be in a long term relationship with someone you don't want to be with any more. I also know what its like to stay in it for the sake for the sake of the kids. I also know that for me that was the ... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and very hairy. Advice, please.
Q. Right this is pretty embarising to ask. But im pretty damn hairy down there (if you know what i mean) and i need to know if thats right or not. I mean i know you can get bikini's and brazilians and that, but im only 16. I should be saying well no o...
A. 25 May 2008: OK Darling. don't panic. Whatever you are like - is normal - normal for you. No two people are the same, and some men like a woman to be clean shaven and some men don't. But at the end of the day its what YOU like, its what YOU want and what YOU ... (read in full...)
Can I save our relationship??
Q. Ive been with my boyf for 4 years today. We moved in together last Sept, and starting planning to build our house, discussed having a baby, getting married... we were so happy and content. About a month ago, he went quiet. He was working really long...
A. 25 May 2008: Oh Darling, I'm so sorry for you, I can feel your pain. Its a very tough thing to happen to you, but sometimes it just happens. Sometimes its that the guy or person is more immature than you. We all change at times in our lives, that just happens ... (read in full...)
How can he be over me so fast?
Q. How is it that you're with someone for 2.5 years and break up with them and it doesn't affect your life in the least. We lived together for more than one year. Found out later he was cheating on me the whole time. Is that why he doesn't even care ...
A. 25 May 2008: What a bummer. Must be really hard for you to feel like he never cared at all. But there are some real rotters out there. They just walk around doing whatever they want to do - but unfortunately it usually is because we give them permission to do ... (read in full...)
What can I do? I know the boy I like only wants to use me!
Q. There is a boy I really really like and I have done for a while. He says he likes me too and I really want to believe that he does but I KNOW he is just trying to use me. He is only after 1 thing and he doesn't care which girl he gets it from. I ...
A. 25 May 2008: Darling I don't think you are confused at all. You know whats right for you and you know what you don't want to do. I think you're feeling pressured by this person and thats not good. Let him get what he wants from someone else. You'll end up ... (read in full...)
I'm embarassed to talk to my mum about my period and so I hide all evidence...
Q. Hi, ive just started my period, im 15 and a late starter so i darnt turn to my friends for advice, i dont have a clue what to say to my mum because my periods are like browny black and i dont wanna emabarass myself. my mum bought me a load of pads ...
A. 25 May 2008: Hello Darling. Oh what a shame you don't feel able to talk to your mum, she could give you so much reassurance I'm sure. When we first get our periods we get all kinds of funny colours going on, its just your body adjusting and getting into its ... (read in full...)
The more he says NO, the more I want my HOT neighbour!
Q. Ok I have never ever done this before! I am always a good girl who hasnt slept with many people. I never sleep around and i always make sure I am proctected. I have this neighbour who i find very attractive! I life at home with my parents and i have ...
A. 25 May 2008: Stop kidding yourself hun. You're desperate, admit it. You want him for you. RARELY does a woman want a one night stand - and the way you are trying to get your hooks into him shouts loudly that you are after far more than that. You're trying ... (read in full...)
I thought he wanted me back, but he seems to be with this married woman. What's going on?
Q. I have been with my partner 14 years he is 44 I am 57. we lived together for 9 years then went through problems and decided to part. he got his own place and I stayed in mine. after a month or so we decided that we couldnt live with eachother or ...
A. 23 May 2008: Its very sad because you seemed to have got it quite good when you were living apart but getting together. That was mature and adult. But what he's doing now is not. He's having a lovely time - one woman doing all his shopping, cleaning, etc., ... (read in full...)
I'm upset all the time. Is there any reason for it?
Q. Hi, ive been seeing my boyfriend for nearly 3 years, at the beginning we had a few problems but the last two years has been the best ever. the problem is, im not happy and i dont know why. My BF spoils me rotten and makes me laugh soo much and i ...
A. 23 May 2008: Its tough when this happens. You sound like everything is so good for you. Can I ask you one thing? Have you had a lot of crises in your life - so that when life is good you don't know how to deal with it, so it kind of feels almost empty until ... (read in full...)
The more he says NO, the more I want my HOT neighbour!
Q. Ok I have never ever done this before! I am always a good girl who hasnt slept with many people. I never sleep around and i always make sure I am proctected. I have this neighbour who i find very attractive! I life at home with my parents and i have ...
A. 21 May 2008: Darling, I don't think all this is doing your self-esteem any good. To go lay in the garden - on his command - and still be rejected must be really hurting you. You're worth more than that. You're better than that. Forget him, find someone who ... (read in full...)
Have developed feelings for a good family friend. Problem is I'm 18 and he's 42.
Q. I have known this guy for years, he's a good family friend. The problem is around 2 years ago I realized that I had very deep feelings for him that fall beyond the line of friendship. I'm 18 and he's 42. Normally, this would bother me, but given th...
A. 21 May 2008: I still say the same hun. I know you really like him and that makes it tough but there's a lot going on here. Just be careful. Don't want to see you get hurt. He's the older person in the relationship here - he knows he shouldn't really be ... (read in full...)
Should I cool off for a while and not make an effort to see what he does?
Q. Ok, I have been to this site before for advice and go some really good answers, so I am back! I have been seeing my bf for about 18 months now. When we first started out he was so into the realtionship. He bought me flowers, send random cards say...
A. 21 May 2008: No I don't think you're being paranoid or stupid. I think there is something going on here that you don't feel happy or comfortable with for whatever reason, and sometimes we just get these feelings when something isn't right. Time always shows us ... (read in full...)
He called another woman his "sex toy," now he is repentant and swears he hasn't cheated physically. Your advice, please!
Q. me and this guy have been dating on and off for like 5 years i should also probally state there is a huge age differance between us about eighteen years i am in my thirtys .i recently found a message where he is calling another women baby and his ...
A. 21 May 2008: I think you got it sewn up hun. You've spoken to her. He acknowledges you've been hurt and is trying to make amends. Its out in the open. Unless you have cause to think otherwise - and your insecurities can really play on you at these times so ... (read in full...)
I'm interested in a new guy, but this knock to my self-confidence by the long-distance ex has me doubting things! I don't want to be hurt again!
Q. bit mad here, as Im usually answering the qusestions, btu here goes....Met a guy and we dated for 2 months it was a long distance relaionship, I met him through my friend who was his cousin. Well he started going on about wanted to move down with ...
A. 21 May 2008: Good for you kid. Just have fun. We all get too serious when a man comes along, think it must be for keeps, even see if his surname sounds good with yours after a few dates - men would be scared witless if they knew that one - but its true isn't ... (read in full...)
I'm interested in a new guy, but this knock to my self-confidence by the long-distance ex has me doubting things! I don't want to be hurt again!
Q. bit mad here, as Im usually answering the qusestions, btu here goes....Met a guy and we dated for 2 months it was a long distance relaionship, I met him through my friend who was his cousin. Well he started going on about wanted to move down with ...
A. 20 May 2008: Sorry, I'm not a man, but I can see where you're coming from. We are fearful when we've just been hurt. Its self-preservation and its normal and natural, and in lots of ways not such a bad thing. It means we're trying to protect ourselves. BUT ... (read in full...)
Should I cool off for a while and not make an effort to see what he does?
Q. Ok, I have been to this site before for advice and go some really good answers, so I am back! I have been seeing my bf for about 18 months now. When we first started out he was so into the realtionship. He bought me flowers, send random cards say...
A. 20 May 2008: Oh Hun, I really feel fo ryou. I think you got a lot going on here. First of all, and the most important thing here I feel, you just had a termination - thats a biggie!!!! Your hormones will be all over the place, along with your emotions and your ... (read in full...)
Have developed feelings for a good family friend. Problem is I'm 18 and he's 42.
Q. I have known this guy for years, he's a good family friend. The problem is around 2 years ago I realized that I had very deep feelings for him that fall beyond the line of friendship. I'm 18 and he's 42. Normally, this would bother me, but given th...
A. 20 May 2008: Wow, its wierd, today must be the day for age differences!!! You're the third I've replied to in the last 10 minutes. I'll tell you same as I told them. Age difference can be got over - if you're both mature enough to want the same things, have ... (read in full...)
He called another woman his "sex toy," now he is repentant and swears he hasn't cheated physically. Your advice, please!
Q. me and this guy have been dating on and off for like 5 years i should also probally state there is a huge age differance between us about eighteen years i am in my thirtys .i recently found a message where he is calling another women baby and his ...
A. 20 May 2008: Oh how I wish Uncle Sneaker was MY partner. Its so good when everything is out in the open, we can all be free to have fun then because when it really is all out in the open you know you can trust your partner or they wouldn't be sharing it with ... (read in full...)
The more he says NO, the more I want my HOT neighbour!
Q. Ok I have never ever done this before! I am always a good girl who hasnt slept with many people. I never sleep around and i always make sure I am proctected. I have this neighbour who i find very attractive! I life at home with my parents and i have ...
A. 20 May 2008: But what you're forgetting and he's painfully aware of is that YOU LIVE NEXT DOOR!!!!!! Poor bloke would have to live right next to the girl he just has sex with, and then she is going to forget all about it???????? I don't think so. It doesn't ... (read in full...)
| *eema's friends
These are mutual friends, so *eema has
added them and they have added *eema!
|
