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... Send *eema a private message | | | *eema's profile:I'm a mature lady with a great deal of life experience. I guess I now agree with a friend who used to say 'we don't grow old, we grow wise'- doesn't mean we don't make the same mistakes, but we see them a lot quicker and hopefully have developed the tools to deal with them. I enjoy sharing my wisdom with those in trouble, just as I enjoy others sharing their wisdom with me when I am in that place too. We are all interconnected on this planet and we all need a leg up at times. It's great there are places like this for us to come. Love and blessings. |
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Can love really heal emotionally distant men? Why do I have a tendence to be attracted to them?
Q. I just( realize something about myself. I fall for emotionally distant men. I am so attracted to the one that are hurting inside. I notice a pattern. I think my love for them will "help" them ease their pain. So I had flings with 2 of them th...
A. 3 April 2009: This answer is soooo long overdue, but I haven't been on here for some time. You are so right - it is like a drug - we want to go back and back for more - its a very hard pattern to break. We only see the good in them, not the pain and abuse they ... (read in full...)
Please help me - I've been raped and it's destroying my life!
Q. i feel so dirty! i always wanted to save my virignity for marrage, and even if i didnt wait until marrage i wanted to wait until i had settled down with the right guy and i knew i was fully comfortable! well, even though i am in quite a good ...
A. 14 October 2008: Wow!!!! Justice was done!!! You got the whole kitkaboodle there kid - I'm so pleased for you. It must be so good knowing he got what he deserved and that you and the other girl have saved so many other young girls from this treatment by being so ... (read in full...)
I asked him to be gentle but he focused on himself during sex and wouldn't mind my objections. Should I believe him that it won't happen again?
Q. Hi, So I need some serious advice again. Ive been with my boyfriend a little over 4 months and for our anniversary, i booked a hotel to make our 'first time' special. I had told him I wanted to take it slow with lots of foreplay and candle...
A. 3 October 2008: Pleased you are doing whats right for you. Clear your head and take time to get over this. Then you will see exactly what you need to do. All the time you are in it, its too difficult. Good luck.... (read in full...)
I found photos of him as a cross dresser in the Internet, it seems he was an escort and is bi, I am so frightened to aproach him about this and don't know how.
Q. I have been with my man for 2 years now, we hit it off from the word go and fell in love pretty quick, we are so close and always confide in each other if we have anything on our minds. We have just bought a house together and I could not have bee...
A. 18 September 2008: God you are very strong keeping all this inside for so long, don't know how you did that. But you are also very wise. You didn't go blasting at the least little thing. You have armed yourself with all the information you need and made sure its ... (read in full...)
I found photos of him as a cross dresser in the Internet, it seems he was an escort and is bi, I am so frightened to aproach him about this and don't know how.
Q. I have been with my man for 2 years now, we hit it off from the word go and fell in love pretty quick, we are so close and always confide in each other if we have anything on our minds. We have just bought a house together and I could not have bee...
A. 17 September 2008: P.S. How do you mean you just typed his nickname on the net and you got his profiles up? Do you just google it or something? I'm veeeeeery curious about that one.... (read in full...)
I found photos of him as a cross dresser in the Internet, it seems he was an escort and is bi, I am so frightened to aproach him about this and don't know how.
Q. I have been with my man for 2 years now, we hit it off from the word go and fell in love pretty quick, we are so close and always confide in each other if we have anything on our minds. We have just bought a house together and I could not have bee...
A. 17 September 2008: Oh darling I'm so sorry you found more of this shit to look at. Thats the other hardest part about all this...... You really don't want to snoop but you just have to keep looking to see whats going on, and the anxiety you feel when you find ... (read in full...)
We only have sex infrequently and he lets everything else come between our sex life. How can I get him to see how much I need sex?
Q. My boyfriend used to have a really high sex drive and now seems to have none. We have gone weeks without sex and I seem to be the only one who cares. When I said something to him about it he actually said to me "Well, I have a lot on my mind and ...
A. 16 September 2008: I think some people get really lazy when they're in a relationship and do the least they can. Yes he can get his jollies on the net, no sweat, quick and easy, then he's satisfied and where does that leave you? Is this the only area he's selfish in ... (read in full...)
I found photos of him as a cross dresser in the Internet, it seems he was an escort and is bi, I am so frightened to aproach him about this and don't know how.
Q. I have been with my man for 2 years now, we hit it off from the word go and fell in love pretty quick, we are so close and always confide in each other if we have anything on our minds. We have just bought a house together and I could not have bee...
A. 16 September 2008: Oh God, what a shock!!!! And its so much worse when you see it in black and white for yourself. Its like being hit with a sledge hammer from 10 different directions. And to find out so many different things you never knew too. You must be reeling ... (read in full...)
I asked him to be gentle but he focused on himself during sex and wouldn't mind my objections. Should I believe him that it won't happen again?
Q. Hi, So I need some serious advice again. Ive been with my boyfriend a little over 4 months and for our anniversary, i booked a hotel to make our 'first time' special. I had told him I wanted to take it slow with lots of foreplay and candle...
A. 16 September 2008: Oh darling, sorry you had this experience when you wanted it to be so special. I'm sure you feel very confused about this. I feel confused too. You've been with him 4 months, so he was patient enough to wait for sex until you were ready, yet gets ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend masturbates to porn and then says, "it's not you". Why does he choose this over me?
Q. Hey everyone, I really badly need to get this off my chest (no pun intended). I've been with my boyfriend now for 3 years and when we first got together, things were great. Then I found out he watches porn. One night, I was feeling ill, and...
A. 6 September 2008: Thanks Saltwater, just wanted to check out if I was over reacting on that one. Personally, I feel it is taking another step, but my man says how can it mean anything when the person is in another country - in his case anyway - and he is never going ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend masturbates to porn and then says, "it's not you". Why does he choose this over me?
Q. Hey everyone, I really badly need to get this off my chest (no pun intended). I've been with my boyfriend now for 3 years and when we first got together, things were great. Then I found out he watches porn. One night, I was feeling ill, and...
A. 6 September 2008: P.S. You are right Dio V. You may leave this relationship only to find the next man does exactly the same. Its so available nowadays. We can't stop it. We have to somehow try to find a way to live with it - or not xx... (read in full...)
Boyfriend masturbates to porn and then says, "it's not you". Why does he choose this over me?
Q. Hey everyone, I really badly need to get this off my chest (no pun intended). I've been with my boyfriend now for 3 years and when we first got together, things were great. Then I found out he watches porn. One night, I was feeling ill, and...
A. 6 September 2008: Thanks Dio V for your kind words. It is a very interesting subject, and I certainly have grown as a result of this particular issue in my life. I find it so good to hear the male perspective, for you are the ones who know whats going on in other ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend masturbates to porn and then says, "it's not you". Why does he choose this over me?
Q. Hey everyone, I really badly need to get this off my chest (no pun intended). I've been with my boyfriend now for 3 years and when we first got together, things were great. Then I found out he watches porn. One night, I was feeling ill, and...
A. 6 September 2008: I'm always so happy to read the mens views on this stuff. I find it very reassuring because they say the words my husband says, and he knows nothing about this site, so that makes me believe him more and see how harmless itreally is. Thank you ... (read in full...)
Please help me - I've been raped and it's destroying my life!
Q. i feel so dirty! i always wanted to save my virignity for marrage, and even if i didnt wait until marrage i wanted to wait until i had settled down with the right guy and i knew i was fully comfortable! well, even though i am in quite a good ...
A. 6 September 2008: You go girl !!!! Luvya too xxxx... (read in full...)
My ex has a girlfriend, but still has sex with me. What do I do?
Q. Hi, I still love my ex but he's got a girlfriend and he keeps coming up to me for sex. He keeps telling me that he loves me. I have a daughter by him, and i'm not taking the pill. The sex with him is great. What do i do? ...
A. 5 September 2008: Well as long as the door is open he'll keep coming right in. Who wouldn't? If he loves you so much why is he with another woman? Why are you having unprotected sex again? Do you want another child? You're not a young girl. Wake up and smell ... (read in full...)
I can't seem to shake that feeling of emptiness in the pits of my stomach. Did I make a mistake?
Q. I cant seem to shake that feeling of emptiness in the pits of my stomach, like something is definetly missing. I have had this same hallow spot for the last 5 years after breaking up with the love of my life (at the time) he const...
A. 5 September 2008: Best thing I can tell you is don't listen to anyone - even us - when it comes to what you really should or shouldn't do in a relationship. You're saying now no ones said this or that to you, but no one can say that because its your relationship and ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend masturbates to porn and then says, "it's not you". Why does he choose this over me?
Q. Hey everyone, I really badly need to get this off my chest (no pun intended). I've been with my boyfriend now for 3 years and when we first got together, things were great. Then I found out he watches porn. One night, I was feeling ill, and...
A. 5 September 2008: Boy oh boy. This seems to be an eternal problem that the 2 sexes will never agree on. Women continue to be confused while the men continue to say its normal. I don't know any more. But as a woman who has a man who admits he doesn't get the same ... (read in full...)
Is true happiness just a myth, will nothing ever be okay??
Q. Hey everyone, this is for all of you, ive recently became part of ''Dear cupid'' and been reading all of these articles, written by guys, girls, of all ages and i just wonder so much of the time, how could a world as cruel as ours even exist?? ...
A. 5 September 2008: Well for someone your age I admire your maturity and style of writing - are you really that age? Or are you copying this from a book? Sorry if I got it wrong, it just seems soooooo mature. Congratulations if its true. Well you know it could be ... (read in full...)
How can I be with him another time and handle his strange personality? Should I?
Q. hello everybody..i dumped a boy i loved 2 months ago,and i still love him..because he was acting strangly and he sat all the time with hif 'friends'and he was always depressed about something and he never talked about it..and he always said nice ...
A. 5 September 2008: How do you feel about him now? Are you happier with or without him? Try thinking of how much happiness you got from the relationship. No one is happy all of the time, but if the downside is always much greater than the upside then what are we ... (read in full...)
I suspect he is cheating; but why would he then still want to hang out with me without being intimate and why would he talk about our future?
Q. I met a guy on a dating site about four months ago. After seeing each other for awhile, we also became intimate. I usually went to his place every other day and stayed over. We usually watched movies together; had dinner; had great sex; etc. I am ...
A. 31 August 2008: Well same old chestnut honey. Men always want what they can't have. They love the chase and the challenge, so when you disappear they get interested all over again, then you go through the dumping, or being dumped all over again. Read 'The Rules' ... (read in full...)
Please help me - I've been raped and it's destroying my life!
Q. i feel so dirty! i always wanted to save my virignity for marrage, and even if i didnt wait until marrage i wanted to wait until i had settled down with the right guy and i knew i was fully comfortable! well, even though i am in quite a good ...
A. 31 August 2008: Oh darling!!! I'm so happy for you. What a mature girl you are to have grown so much from this experience too. I'm so happy things turned out the way they did. You'll be able to help others now when they have this kind of problem, and I know you ... (read in full...)
His wall of silence is hurting me. I'm thinking of ending it.
Q. I am very confused. I have been in a long distance relationship with a guy for just over a year. He mentioned to me several months ago that he wanted us to see each other mid-week as well as at the weekends now that I am able to drive and haven't ...
A. 17 August 2008: Oh darling, its really tricky this one. When I met my partner now he only got one day off a week and worked 14 hour days. That made it very difficult to get to see him. Then on his day off he had so many people to see and things to fit in, that ... (read in full...)
Can love really heal emotionally distant men? Why do I have a tendence to be attracted to them?
Q. I just( realize something about myself. I fall for emotionally distant men. I am so attracted to the one that are hurting inside. I notice a pattern. I think my love for them will "help" them ease their pain. So I had flings with 2 of them th...
A. 17 August 2008: Bless you Older Sister xx... (read in full...)
Can love really heal emotionally distant men? Why do I have a tendence to be attracted to them?
Q. I just( realize something about myself. I fall for emotionally distant men. I am so attracted to the one that are hurting inside. I notice a pattern. I think my love for them will "help" them ease their pain. So I had flings with 2 of them th...
A. 17 August 2008: You're on the road Baby Duck. Well done. It is a hard road. We are so desperate for the love we never got somewhere along the line, and we're looking for someone outside of ourselves to give it to us. Its normal, its natural - we missed out big ... (read in full...)
Problems in my polyamorous relationship with one partner. I need advice.
Q. Hi can anyone help me? Im in a polyamory relationship, but my one partner is driving me to dispair. He thinks that because i were with him 1st he should take priority over my other lover. His jelousy is pushing us apart not bringing us clos...
A. 17 August 2008: For the Moderator - Don't think I was rude in any way, just gave my honest opinion. Knew the reaction would come though and thats why I said I won't say any more. And I won't. Best wishes to all involved, its not my life anyway.... (read in full...)
Can love really heal emotionally distant men? Why do I have a tendence to be attracted to them?
Q. I just( realize something about myself. I fall for emotionally distant men. I am so attracted to the one that are hurting inside. I notice a pattern. I think my love for them will "help" them ease their pain. So I had flings with 2 of them th...
A. 17 August 2008: Nothing is wasted honey. You can go on to help others see the light just like you did - in time. Work on yourself first. You deserve a better life xx... (read in full...)
Will the pill work in this situation?
Q. i had unprotected sex with my bf on the last day of periods when i was drunk after half an hour i took an i pill i am scared i will become pregnant as i was drunk. will the pill work ...
A. 14 August 2008: How long ago did this happen? I think you should take the morning after pill if possible, bu tif its too late then get to the doctors fast x... (read in full...)
What do guys expect it to look like 'down there'?
Q. my boyfriend is thinking of fingering me for the first time. and i was just wondering, what do they expect it to `look like` down there? ...like will it be abnormal if my pubic hair is shaven etc? please help. xxx...
A. 14 August 2008: Well, 'they' are all different. Just like us, theres no two boys the same. Some like girls to shave, some don't. Some like thin girls, some like fat girls. Some like blonds, some don't - you get me? So don't worry about what HE expects - he ... (read in full...)
I want another baby, but my husband says we can't afford it. Help!
Q. I'm 21 and my husband is 25 we have a 3yr old daughter and have been together for 6 yrs. Just recently I told him I wanna have another baby and he says no because we aren't financially set but then again when will be? I'm hurt and this is affecting ...
A. 14 August 2008: Don't see this as a rejection of you or your children together. It may be that your husband is under a lot of pressure already and feels very heavily the pressure of having to be financially responsible for another mouth to feed. I don't think us ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with Beyoncé...
Q. i can't stop loving beyonce, what the hell should i do?...
A. 14 August 2008: Enjoy it, but make sure you get out in the real world too. Then one day she won't be so important cus lover girl will come along and replace her. x... (read in full...)
My boyfriend works all the time and I hardly ever get to see him
Q. my and bf and i have been going out for a year but he works all the time and i never get to see him maybe once a week but sometimes only 1 every fortnight ots really getting me down because we text everyday but i have to wait till like 10 at night ...
A. 14 August 2008: I know this life, it ain't easy kid, and thats for me a very mature and independent woman, but for your age - well its very hard. My husbnand also works sooooo many hours, but I have my life, I get on and live it and see him when I see him. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is in a mess after he took someone's car.
Q. what must i do my boyfriend is in a big mess,he took someone's car just to please a fling woman to take her home,i found out about this after it happened and he told me the whole truth and i did forgave him but after punishing him. my problem is ...
A. 14 August 2008: You can forgive him but don't mean you have to pick up after him. When I make shit I have to clean it up - no one else does it for me, and nor should you. Love or not, we are only responsible for ourselves, and pleeeeease, have some self-esteem ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says I smell more fishy when I eat a lot of fish. Does that really make sense?
Q. My boyfriend has told me that my vagina smells more fishy when I eat a lot of fish. I do eat a lot of fish, but I am struggling to understand what he says is correct. Is it true that a vagina will smell more fishy depending on the amount of fish ...
A. 14 August 2008: P.S. I know this to be true cus my mum had same problem!!! ... (read in full...)
My BF who is Buddhist will be living in a hermitage in the middle of nowhere - should I join him??
Q. I just wondered if anybody had any words of 'wisdom' for me. My boyfriend of a year has just gone into retreat - he is a Buddhist. He will be living at a hermitage in the middle of nowhere for an indefinite period - a year minimum. We are still '...
A. 14 August 2008: Oh dear. I hear how painful this is for you, but trust me this is not a rejection of you, its just his need to follow who he is. It wouldn't matter if you were Madonna in a silver lame g string, he'd still have the need to go. If you went along ... (read in full...)
At my first attempt of sex I did not penetrate her properly, should I worry?
Q. My penis size is 35mm width, 9cm length and I don’t know whether it is enough to satisfy a teenage girl. I only had sex once in my life with a virgin girl and the problem is that I did not penetrate properly is like my penis just entered 3cm.Please ...
A. 14 August 2008: Aaah, I feel for you darling. Don't worry. Us girls are really not that scarey and we are a lot more understanding than you realise. The girl in question was probably relieved you only got a small part in before if she was a virgin. Its quite ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says I smell more fishy when I eat a lot of fish. Does that really make sense?
Q. My boyfriend has told me that my vagina smells more fishy when I eat a lot of fish. I do eat a lot of fish, but I am struggling to understand what he says is correct. Is it true that a vagina will smell more fishy depending on the amount of fish ...
A. 14 August 2008: Yes it is true!!! He is right. Sorry everyone, but this is a fact. There are some people who cannot break down one of the components of fish and it therefore is passed through the urine. This is what causes the odour. It can also happen to some ... (read in full...)
Problems in my polyamorous relationship with one partner. I need advice.
Q. Hi can anyone help me? Im in a polyamory relationship, but my one partner is driving me to dispair. He thinks that because i were with him 1st he should take priority over my other lover. His jelousy is pushing us apart not bringing us clos...
A. 14 August 2008: Hate to be the party pooper here, but I feel so sorry for your husband. How would you think he feels now? You two have something to share that he is totally not involved in. I hate to say it, but I think its really selfish of you. You want your ... (read in full...)
I suspect he is cheating; but why would he then still want to hang out with me without being intimate and why would he talk about our future?
Q. I met a guy on a dating site about four months ago. After seeing each other for awhile, we also became intimate. I usually went to his place every other day and stayed over. We usually watched movies together; had dinner; had great sex; etc. I am ...
A. 14 August 2008: Well the universe ALWAYS shows us whats going on, we never really have to look too hard, it just drops right in front of our eyes. Sometimes I wonder why we worry cus everything is always brought to us at the right time and space. So....... you ... (read in full...)
I suffer from depression and anxiety, what can I do to make him want to support me again and not just see me as a burden?
Q. I suffer from depression and anxiety. I regularly talk to my boyfriend and he has been supportive although he does not completley understand. Latley i feel that he is becoming frustrated with my constant " need to talk things through" We are both...
A. 12 August 2008: Glad I was some help to you darling. Like I said, I know its not easy. That condition is shit, but there are ways you can help yourself. Go ahead, read those books its a great way to start. You see what you will realise eventually is that it ... (read in full...)
Why do my boyfriends always stop calling and leave me?
Q. I am a very hardworking and independent lady. I always go out of my way for my boyfriends. The main thing is every thing seems fine and then all of a sudden ,they just stop calling. I'm not sure why because they never say why. I really need to get ...
A. 11 August 2008: Oooh I could really get into this one Saleem, but I'll leave it there. I respect your opinion and don't have the right to try to change that. It would be dull if we were all the same anyways. Thanks for your opinion, it makes the world go round. ... (read in full...)
We want children although we are teen children ourselves, is this wrong?
Q. is it wrong that me and my fiance are happy that she is almost definitely pregnant when she is 17 and i just turned 18? We are all the other has and are teen children ourselves. we have been together for a year now and were very close friends ...
A. 11 August 2008: Oh bless you hun. No, you weren't lying to yourself. You sound very responsible people and I wish you all every happiness with your new little life. Just cus you're young, don't mean you can't be great parents. My brother had his first at 19, ... (read in full...)
Please help me - I've been raped and it's destroying my life!
Q. i feel so dirty! i always wanted to save my virignity for marrage, and even if i didnt wait until marrage i wanted to wait until i had settled down with the right guy and i knew i was fully comfortable! well, even though i am in quite a good ...
A. 11 August 2008: Aaaaah wel done you. I'm so happy now. You didn't deserve to punish yourself further by being isolated with this. Now you have the right people giving you the right love and support, and thats what you do deserve. I know thats not the end of it, ... (read in full...)
I suspect he is cheating; but why would he then still want to hang out with me without being intimate and why would he talk about our future?
Q. I met a guy on a dating site about four months ago. After seeing each other for awhile, we also became intimate. I usually went to his place every other day and stayed over. We usually watched movies together; had dinner; had great sex; etc. I am ...
A. 11 August 2008: Well it doesn't seem to be doing your self-esteem any good waiting around for him, so why not forget him for the time being, keep him in a little box at the back of your mind, then get on and make yourself happy in whatever way you choose. Then if ... (read in full...)
I need to find the courage to leave my boyfriend
Q. I need to find the courage to leave my boyfriend. Can anybody out there relate? We've been together 5 years and lived together for 3. I know I sound absolutely awful, but I keep thinking about how awkward the whole thing will be. We live together...
A. 10 August 2008: Breaking up is shit. There is no easy way. Even how to start to say it is difficult, especially if the other has no idea how you feel. But don't worry. Time will make it happen. You will just wake up one morning and think I can't do this ... (read in full...)
His girlfriend is prioritised everytime, and it shows little regard for his mates.
Q. I have this problem with people flaking on me. Especially, when it comes to their boyfriends/girlfriends wanting to meet them last minute. For instance, I arranged to meet up with my mate Sam, this is after a long speech where he made it clear how ...
A. 10 August 2008: Cupidguy I think you're wrong too. I don't think your friends disappear when you grow up. Some of them stay around a very long time - I'm 58 and still have one friend from when I was 19 and she's in Australia now!!!! Was a good excuse to visit Oz! ... (read in full...)
Why do my boyfriends always stop calling and leave me?
Q. I am a very hardworking and independent lady. I always go out of my way for my boyfriends. The main thing is every thing seems fine and then all of a sudden ,they just stop calling. I'm not sure why because they never say why. I really need to get ...
A. 10 August 2008: P.S. I forgot to add they will also be happy to let you into every part of their lives, along with allowing you to be your own person and live your own life. Its not about shutting you out of their lives, its about them respecting you have a life ... (read in full...)
Why do my boyfriends always stop calling and leave me?
Q. I am a very hardworking and independent lady. I always go out of my way for my boyfriends. The main thing is every thing seems fine and then all of a sudden ,they just stop calling. I'm not sure why because they never say why. I really need to get ...
A. 10 August 2008: Sorry Saleem but I don't agree with you at all. It takes a lot of maturity from a guy to be happy with you being perfectly yourself and not want to try to own or change that. As for your sentence about 'being their life', pow, I'm old and wise ... (read in full...)
His girlfriend is prioritised everytime, and it shows little regard for his mates.
Q. I have this problem with people flaking on me. Especially, when it comes to their boyfriends/girlfriends wanting to meet them last minute. For instance, I arranged to meet up with my mate Sam, this is after a long speech where he made it clear how ...
A. 10 August 2008: It is a tough one this one cus I suspect very soon when you have a permanent girl friend you may find yourself with the same dilemma. Right now you can say you'd never do that to your mates, but trust me when the call of love strikes, its very hard ... (read in full...)
I suffer from depression and anxiety, what can I do to make him want to support me again and not just see me as a burden?
Q. I suffer from depression and anxiety. I regularly talk to my boyfriend and he has been supportive although he does not completley understand. Latley i feel that he is becoming frustrated with my constant " need to talk things through" We are both...
A. 10 August 2008: Well you answered all your own questions right there honey really. You know you're driving him away. This is your problem, not his. Why do you want him to support you, why should he? He's your boyfriend, not your carer. He wants to be with ... (read in full...)
I suspect he is cheating; but why would he then still want to hang out with me without being intimate and why would he talk about our future?
Q. I met a guy on a dating site about four months ago. After seeing each other for awhile, we also became intimate. I usually went to his place every other day and stayed over. We usually watched movies together; had dinner; had great sex; etc. I am ...
A. 10 August 2008: This is a sticky one. Those sites can be innocent but can also be very tricky too. Why is he chasing other girls so hard when he has you? I know boredom and lack of work is a great problem and boredom leads people to go seeking things they ... (read in full...)
We want children although we are teen children ourselves, is this wrong?
Q. is it wrong that me and my fiance are happy that she is almost definitely pregnant when she is 17 and i just turned 18? We are all the other has and are teen children ourselves. we have been together for a year now and were very close friends ...
A. 10 August 2008: No darling its not wrong at all. It is a time when the thought of having a child is very romantic - I remember it well myself, but unfortunately the reality requres a great deal more support and effort than the romantic version seems to understand. ... (read in full...)
Why do my boyfriends always stop calling and leave me?
Q. I am a very hardworking and independent lady. I always go out of my way for my boyfriends. The main thing is every thing seems fine and then all of a sudden ,they just stop calling. I'm not sure why because they never say why. I really need to get ...
A. 10 August 2008: Hello darling. There is an excellent book called 'The Rules' by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider - it tells all about relationships and where we go wrong us girls. For me the big clue is in your sentence 'I always go out of my way for my ... (read in full...)
Please help me - I've been raped and it's destroying my life!
Q. i feel so dirty! i always wanted to save my virignity for marrage, and even if i didnt wait until marrage i wanted to wait until i had settled down with the right guy and i knew i was fully comfortable! well, even though i am in quite a good ...
A. 10 August 2008: Aaah darling, so pleased you are moving forward. Your reply is so much more positive and I know you'll be ok. What a great mum. You know she'll be in for that night time hug - she'll do anything for you, she'll be there 24/7, and she'll deal with ... (read in full...)
Please help me - I've been raped and it's destroying my life!
Q. i feel so dirty! i always wanted to save my virignity for marrage, and even if i didnt wait until marrage i wanted to wait until i had settled down with the right guy and i knew i was fully comfortable! well, even though i am in quite a good ...
A. 7 August 2008: Oh my dear sweet child. How I so want to give you a hug. This is so bad for you. You really do need help - and fast. Its great you told your boyfriend, but you really must get help darling. Go to your Doctor immediately and tell him your ... (read in full...)
Can love really heal emotionally distant men? Why do I have a tendence to be attracted to them?
Q. I just( realize something about myself. I fall for emotionally distant men. I am so attracted to the one that are hurting inside. I notice a pattern. I think my love for them will "help" them ease their pain. So I had flings with 2 of them th...
A. 7 August 2008: Don't worry darling, you're not alone - how do you think we know the answers? Yes, that book was a lot of help to me. I had a very emotionally detached father (alcoholic) and then married an emotionally detached man (sexually abused as a child) ... (read in full...)
Can love really heal emotionally distant men? Why do I have a tendence to be attracted to them?
Q. I just( realize something about myself. I fall for emotionally distant men. I am so attracted to the one that are hurting inside. I notice a pattern. I think my love for them will "help" them ease their pain. So I had flings with 2 of them th...
A. 6 August 2008: Hello darling. Unfortunately I see the problem is as much yours as theirs. Its called co-dependency. You need them to need you. Thier coldness is a challenge to you, probably from some past childhood relationship, and you have the need to get ... (read in full...)
Can love really heal emotionally distant men? Why do I have a tendence to be attracted to them?
Q. I just( realize something about myself. I fall for emotionally distant men. I am so attracted to the one that are hurting inside. I notice a pattern. I think my love for them will "help" them ease their pain. So I had flings with 2 of them th...
A. 6 August 2008: Hello darling. Unfortunately I see the problem is as much yours as theirs. Its called co-dependency. You need them to need you. Thier coldness is a challenge to you, probably from some past childhood relationship, and you have the need to get ... (read in full...)
Problems in my polyamorous relationship with one partner. I need advice.
Q. Hi can anyone help me? Im in a polyamory relationship, but my one partner is driving me to dispair. He thinks that because i were with him 1st he should take priority over my other lover. His jelousy is pushing us apart not bringing us clos...
A. 27 June 2008: Well hope it lasts. Your hsuband is being magnanimous in accepting the situation. I hope he gets the reward he deserves for that and I hope when the babies start to arrive he can cope with that too. I hope you all continue to grow as people for ... (read in full...)
Problems in my polyamorous relationship with one partner. I need advice.
Q. Hi can anyone help me? Im in a polyamory relationship, but my one partner is driving me to dispair. He thinks that because i were with him 1st he should take priority over my other lover. His jelousy is pushing us apart not bringing us clos...
A. 5 June 2008: I think you love your husband but your not in love with him. Happens all the time. He knows that. If we can see the fascination with the new man - then believe it - so can he, thats why he's so insecure. If it were equal feelings he wouldn't be ... (read in full...)
Problems in my polyamorous relationship with one partner. I need advice.
Q. Hi can anyone help me? Im in a polyamory relationship, but my one partner is driving me to dispair. He thinks that because i were with him 1st he should take priority over my other lover. His jelousy is pushing us apart not bringing us clos...
A. 3 June 2008: Really don't want to get into this one any more - wow you lot are really knocking spots off each other, its so fascinating how a subject raises so many issues, but then thats what good debate does - but just have to add something here. In every ... (read in full...)
Problems in my polyamorous relationship with one partner. I need advice.
Q. Hi can anyone help me? Im in a polyamory relationship, but my one partner is driving me to dispair. He thinks that because i were with him 1st he should take priority over my other lover. His jelousy is pushing us apart not bringing us clos...
A. 27 May 2008: Well you're giving me the answers love, so you know what you're doing, don't you? What more can we say? Good luck.... (read in full...)
Problems in my polyamorous relationship with one partner. I need advice.
Q. Hi can anyone help me? Im in a polyamory relationship, but my one partner is driving me to dispair. He thinks that because i were with him 1st he should take priority over my other lover. His jelousy is pushing us apart not bringing us clos...
A. 26 May 2008: Oh boy, you really are asking a lot of no. 1 in that case. Poor bloke has been around for 30 years, and then suddenly you bring in a young buck, with a bigger dick and you obviously like that and he's expected to roll over and be happy? Come on ... (read in full...)
Problems in my polyamorous relationship with one partner. I need advice.
Q. Hi can anyone help me? Im in a polyamory relationship, but my one partner is driving me to dispair. He thinks that because i were with him 1st he should take priority over my other lover. His jelousy is pushing us apart not bringing us clos...
A. 25 May 2008: Doesn't sound as though this is working out too well does it? You have to be veeeeeeery secure in yourself to be able to cope with having a relationship where 3 or more people are involved. Doesn't sound like no l is that secure. So you have to ... (read in full...)
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