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... Send *eema a private message | | | *eema's profile:I'm a mature lady with a great deal of life experience. I guess I now agree with a friend who used to say 'we don't grow old, we grow wise'- doesn't mean we don't make the same mistakes, but we see them a lot quicker and hopefully have developed the tools to deal with them. I enjoy sharing my wisdom with those in trouble, just as I enjoy others sharing their wisdom with me when I am in that place too. We are all interconnected on this planet and we all need a leg up at times. It's great there are places like this for us to come. Love and blessings. |
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The more he says NO, the more I want my HOT neighbour!
Q. Ok I have never ever done this before! I am always a good girl who hasnt slept with many people. I never sleep around and i always make sure I am proctected. I have this neighbour who i find very attractive! I life at home with my parents and i have ...
A. 26 May 2008: There there. Is that OK? And by the way, I'm not American. Old Fool is right. Take your problem elsewhere and see what the response is. We all tried to help you right from the word go, but you weren't listening. You wanted someone to say it was ... (read in full...)
The more he says NO, the more I want my HOT neighbour!
Q. Ok I have never ever done this before! I am always a good girl who hasnt slept with many people. I never sleep around and i always make sure I am proctected. I have this neighbour who i find very attractive! I life at home with my parents and i have ...
A. 25 May 2008: Stop kidding yourself hun. You're desperate, admit it. You want him for you. RARELY does a woman want a one night stand - and the way you are trying to get your hooks into him shouts loudly that you are after far more than that. You're trying ... (read in full...)
The more he says NO, the more I want my HOT neighbour!
Q. Ok I have never ever done this before! I am always a good girl who hasnt slept with many people. I never sleep around and i always make sure I am proctected. I have this neighbour who i find very attractive! I life at home with my parents and i have ...
A. 21 May 2008: Darling, I don't think all this is doing your self-esteem any good. To go lay in the garden - on his command - and still be rejected must be really hurting you. You're worth more than that. You're better than that. Forget him, find someone who ... (read in full...)
Have developed feelings for a good family friend. Problem is I'm 18 and he's 42.
Q. I have known this guy for years, he's a good family friend. The problem is around 2 years ago I realized that I had very deep feelings for him that fall beyond the line of friendship. I'm 18 and he's 42. Normally, this would bother me, but given th...
A. 21 May 2008: I still say the same hun. I know you really like him and that makes it tough but there's a lot going on here. Just be careful. Don't want to see you get hurt. He's the older person in the relationship here - he knows he shouldn't really be ... (read in full...)
Should I cool off for a while and not make an effort to see what he does?
Q. Ok, I have been to this site before for advice and go some really good answers, so I am back! I have been seeing my bf for about 18 months now. When we first started out he was so into the realtionship. He bought me flowers, send random cards say...
A. 21 May 2008: No I don't think you're being paranoid or stupid. I think there is something going on here that you don't feel happy or comfortable with for whatever reason, and sometimes we just get these feelings when something isn't right. Time always shows us ... (read in full...)
He called another woman his "sex toy," now he is repentant and swears he hasn't cheated physically. Your advice, please!
Q. me and this guy have been dating on and off for like 5 years i should also probally state there is a huge age differance between us about eighteen years i am in my thirtys .i recently found a message where he is calling another women baby and his ...
A. 21 May 2008: I think you got it sewn up hun. You've spoken to her. He acknowledges you've been hurt and is trying to make amends. Its out in the open. Unless you have cause to think otherwise - and your insecurities can really play on you at these times so ... (read in full...)
I'm interested in a new guy, but this knock to my self-confidence by the long-distance ex has me doubting things! I don't want to be hurt again!
Q. bit mad here, as Im usually answering the qusestions, btu here goes....Met a guy and we dated for 2 months it was a long distance relaionship, I met him through my friend who was his cousin. Well he started going on about wanted to move down with ...
A. 21 May 2008: Good for you kid. Just have fun. We all get too serious when a man comes along, think it must be for keeps, even see if his surname sounds good with yours after a few dates - men would be scared witless if they knew that one - but its true isn't ... (read in full...)
I'm interested in a new guy, but this knock to my self-confidence by the long-distance ex has me doubting things! I don't want to be hurt again!
Q. bit mad here, as Im usually answering the qusestions, btu here goes....Met a guy and we dated for 2 months it was a long distance relaionship, I met him through my friend who was his cousin. Well he started going on about wanted to move down with ...
A. 20 May 2008: Sorry, I'm not a man, but I can see where you're coming from. We are fearful when we've just been hurt. Its self-preservation and its normal and natural, and in lots of ways not such a bad thing. It means we're trying to protect ourselves. BUT ... (read in full...)
Did I just lose my virginity over 'wild' masturbation?
Q. i masturbate not that often but yesterday...i just broke up with my boyfren whom i thought i will have sex with. i did it with my deodorant bottle. it hurts me but at the same time it gave me pleasure. it last for 20 minutes i guess and i stop and ...
A. 20 May 2008: Well first thing is - stop worrying - you really did nothing wrong, other than punish yourself a little it seems to me. It almost feels as though you wanted to hurt yourself. Don't do that to yourself. You don't deserve to hurt yourself in that ... (read in full...)
Should I cool off for a while and not make an effort to see what he does?
Q. Ok, I have been to this site before for advice and go some really good answers, so I am back! I have been seeing my bf for about 18 months now. When we first started out he was so into the realtionship. He bought me flowers, send random cards say...
A. 20 May 2008: Oh Hun, I really feel fo ryou. I think you got a lot going on here. First of all, and the most important thing here I feel, you just had a termination - thats a biggie!!!! Your hormones will be all over the place, along with your emotions and your ... (read in full...)
Have developed feelings for a good family friend. Problem is I'm 18 and he's 42.
Q. I have known this guy for years, he's a good family friend. The problem is around 2 years ago I realized that I had very deep feelings for him that fall beyond the line of friendship. I'm 18 and he's 42. Normally, this would bother me, but given th...
A. 20 May 2008: Wow, its wierd, today must be the day for age differences!!! You're the third I've replied to in the last 10 minutes. I'll tell you same as I told them. Age difference can be got over - if you're both mature enough to want the same things, have ... (read in full...)
He called another woman his "sex toy," now he is repentant and swears he hasn't cheated physically. Your advice, please!
Q. me and this guy have been dating on and off for like 5 years i should also probally state there is a huge age differance between us about eighteen years i am in my thirtys .i recently found a message where he is calling another women baby and his ...
A. 20 May 2008: Oh how I wish Uncle Sneaker was MY partner. Its so good when everything is out in the open, we can all be free to have fun then because when it really is all out in the open you know you can trust your partner or they wouldn't be sharing it with ... (read in full...)
The more he says NO, the more I want my HOT neighbour!
Q. Ok I have never ever done this before! I am always a good girl who hasnt slept with many people. I never sleep around and i always make sure I am proctected. I have this neighbour who i find very attractive! I life at home with my parents and i have ...
A. 20 May 2008: But what you're forgetting and he's painfully aware of is that YOU LIVE NEXT DOOR!!!!!! Poor bloke would have to live right next to the girl he just has sex with, and then she is going to forget all about it???????? I don't think so. It doesn't ... (read in full...)
I feel she isn't putting any effort into our relationship
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for a while now and I feel that she isn't putting as much effort into our relationship as I am, I give her plenty of attention but she only gives me a little, I don't like to seem selfish here but I don't ...
A. 20 May 2008: We all find it difficult to ask for our needs to be met, but it really is that simple. We think the other person should know what we want - but they don't. She probably has no idea you're not getting what you need cus it may not be within her ... (read in full...)
My 3 year old is masturbating, how should I to handle this? Is it normal?
Q. hi i'm a mom, i have a question if a girl 3 year old she is masturbation herself is normal? if it is what can i do for that, to me is not normal cos she just too baby please somebody help me?...
A. 20 May 2008: Hi. I don't think she's actually masterbating, she's more likely to just be exploring herself. Why wouldn't she? Its a sexual organ to us, but to her its no different from her arm or her leg - its just there. What a pity we don't carry on ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid that he will cheat on me. 23 years between us.
Q. 23 years between us, both been thru alot, and i am way way inlove, if anythings happenes to us im not afraid to say that i wud be able to live without him,we broke up for a week becuase i got drunk and kissed another bloke, i took an overdose, ...
A. 20 May 2008: Darling I feel very concerned about you. You are very young and you sound very confused. You say you can live without him yet you took an overdose when he was gone for a week. Age differences can be got over, providing you are both of an age to ... (read in full...)
The man I met online made me feel like a princess. Now he wants to take things a bit slower. Should I be worried?
Q. I was married for 16 years to a man who in general treated me well but ultimately chose to cheat on me throughout the marriage. We are divorced now. I went on a dating site and met a man who was very intersted in me. Everything happened very fast ...
A. 18 May 2008: Doesn't matter how old we are, we still get very confused when men cool off don't we? There's a very good book called 'TheRules' and it explains a lot about men doing this and it says we should never chase them, but leave them to figure out ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want to kiss me any more. Have I done something?
Q. Hey yeh i have been going out with my boyfriend for 7 months now and yes hes yonger then me im in year 9 and hes in year 7 and lately hes been sad/depressed so i asked him whats wrong he said he doesnt want to kiss me at school no more...
A. 18 May 2008: No darling, I don't think you've done anything wrong. I think he's very young, as you both are, and boys of that age get very easily embarrassed by their friends/brothers/other kids at school - as do men of all ages I have to say, so don't worry ... (read in full...)
I keep finding naked pictures of his ex, what should I do?
Q. Last year, I accidentally found my boyfriend's porn on his external hard drive. In that collection, I found naked pictures of his ex-girlfriend after he told me that he didn't have them anymore. I got very angry and deleted all of them. When I ...
A. 16 May 2008: I always so love hearing the male perspective on all this stuff. They are always so straight forward and so much less complicated than us girls think. We tend to think that if a man gets off on porn picture he wants to be with that girl, prefers ... (read in full...)
How painful would it be to shave down there?
Q. How painful would it be to shave 'down there'? I don't see how hairs growing back could be painful....
A. 16 May 2008: Yes you can use the same shaver as for your legs but it might not cut so close as you want. A little normal razor in the bath or shower cuts closer and you can use soap. ... (read in full...)
I'm Nobody's child... I don't fit in.
Q. Basically, I have four friends and we call ourselves 'sisters'. However I feel I don't fit in. They are popular, etc etc. And more or less I admit I made friends with them for status purpose. But you need that popularity in my school to sorta ...
A. 16 May 2008: If its any consolation, most people have the feeling they don't fit in, even when it looks to the outside world like they are the popular ones, they still are putting on a front because underneath all the outside facade, we all feel the same. So ... (read in full...)
I'm Nobody's child... I don't fit in.
Q. Basically, I have four friends and we call ourselves 'sisters'. However I feel I don't fit in. They are popular, etc etc. And more or less I admit I made friends with them for status purpose. But you need that popularity in my school to sorta ...
A. 16 May 2008: If its any consolation, most people have the feeling they don't fit in, even when it looks to the outside world like they are the popular ones, they still are putting on a front because underneath all the outside facade, we all feel the same. So ... (read in full...)
Men, did you ever pressure a girl into sex when you were in your teens?
Q. This question is for the older male uncles and visitors here. When you were in your teens, did you pressure any girls for sex or sexual activity? And if so, how do you feel about that now? Do you regret it or was it just part of growing up? T...
A. 16 May 2008: Why do you ask that question? Was it a bad experience for you? I, personally, don't think boys of that age would necessarily even consider it to be pressuring - they are just so damned horny at that age because its all very new and exciting to ... (read in full...)
Why has he become distant and cold? Is this relationship over?
Q. For the men: Can you please explain to me this male mentality of, if one part of my life sucks, everything sucks? My bf of 7 months all of a sudden started acting very distant and cold when he became incredibly busy at work. One day he'd want me...
A. 15 May 2008: I know this is very hard for you - I have a similar situation, and I'm married to him. He's just got a business, which is already established, but its still new to him. I thought I saw little of him before, but that was nothing compared to now. We ... (read in full...)
Why has he become distant and cold? Is this relationship over?
Q. For the men: Can you please explain to me this male mentality of, if one part of my life sucks, everything sucks? My bf of 7 months all of a sudden started acting very distant and cold when he became incredibly busy at work. One day he'd want me...
A. 15 May 2008: I love Lonely's reply. I think its a real check-in time for us girls. We do expect our men to be everything to us - work hard, provide for us, keep us amused, buy us flowers, be there for us, compliment us, make us princesses, as he says, and if ... (read in full...)
I told my Mum all my sex details. She won't tell me hers. What gives?
Q. I'm angry with my mum i've told her all my sexually explict details, and she won't tell me any of hers. What gives?...
A. 15 May 2008: You really sound as though you feel cheated. I have two grown up daughters and we speak about everything - especially when they were younger and getting into sex and needed advice and I was always very honoured that they felt comfortable and trusted ... (read in full...)
10 years ago I was drugged and raped by my aunt's BF, should I tell my niece this is why I stopped visiting them?
Q. when i was 28 i was drugged and raped by my aunts boyfriend,when i went home i slept for 2 days not knowing a thing, all i told my husband was that i must have been spiked because i only took one drink so i got on with life,but now its all coming ...
A. 15 May 2008: You poor love, I so feel for you with this. These realisations must be dreadful for you, but I think you have to stop and think how would it help to tell your niece this stuff - especially if, as you say, she was drunk and high on drugs herself? ... (read in full...)
Help! I need somebody!- Do you think he's sending signals or not???
Q. (this is a combination of several of my replies to other users before I had my own account....now it's a question) I've known my english teacher for 2 years, last year when we would talk in passing and then this year when he was finally my teach...
A. 15 May 2008: oooh I'm afraid that reeeeally bothers me. Be careful darling. Is he giving you that grade because its a turn on to him - I don't even want to think about it. This is getting way too deep and on to very dodgy ground. Like I said be careful. ... (read in full...)
How painful would it be to shave down there?
Q. How painful would it be to shave 'down there'? I don't see how hairs growing back could be painful....
A. 15 May 2008: No, its not painful, and if you keep it shaved you don't have a problem anyway. I think some people find it a bit itchy - give it a go if thats what you want. It won't do any harm. Good luck - it will soon grow back if you don't like it. But do ... (read in full...)
Is it just me or is anyone else feeling concerned about the amount of unfaithfulness goin on here?
Q. Is it just me or is anyone else getting scared as hell of the amount of unfaithful married couples goin on here? This makes me super frightened to be married! Dosnt anyone believe in a commitment these days? No wonder the divorce rate is sky high, ...
A. 13 May 2008: Yeah, I hear what you're saying. It is certainly a very different society now and temptation is rife everywhere, if you are so inclined. People don't have so much respect for other peoples relationships either it seems to me, and anyone is fair ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a girl to like getting spanked?
Q. i like to be spanked during sex. whats wrong with me?...
A. 13 May 2008: We all got different things we like Hun. Nothing is 'wrong' unless you don't agree with it and don't want it, or it offends your partner. Other than that .......... the world's your oyster kid. Enjoy!!!! There's no sex police about to pounce ... (read in full...)
Help! I need somebody!- Do you think he's sending signals or not???
Q. (this is a combination of several of my replies to other users before I had my own account....now it's a question) I've known my english teacher for 2 years, last year when we would talk in passing and then this year when he was finally my teach...
A. 13 May 2008: Hi Hun. Hmmmmm. Well sorry to say, but I think he's playing games with your heart. You see he's in a position of power. He's teacher, you're student. Thats what makes him so attractive to you. When I was 17 I absolutely adored my tutor at ... (read in full...)
Any advice on vaginal dryness occurring during sex?
Q. so im 22 years olds and have had sex plenty of times but recently while having sex a couple of minutes in to it my vagina went dry and has been for for the past couple days why would this be? please help...
A. 13 May 2008: Sometimes its when we're not quite ready, and sometimes its when we're not relaxed enough - but either way, its quite painful. Also if you start expecting it to happen, it happens. Take your time, don't let him enter till you are really ready. ... (read in full...)
My bf of 2 yrs wants a break - to date other women! Help!
Q. My boyfriend of almost 2 years is requesting a break, but we're in an awkward situation because we live together and I just started a full time job (there is no way I could live on my own right now). He's not gonna kick me out or anything. We're ...
A. 8 May 2008: You so have to move out of the place youre in now hun. Stop being his victim. The more you run round him wondering what he's going to do, the more power you give him. You've given him all the opportunities, he's not giving anything back - so ... (read in full...)
I dread when night time comes, because he always wants sex. But I'm in love with my lesbian friend!
Q. I'm a 32 Y/o female. I got married in Feb 2007. I met my husband while serving in Iraq, he was in my same unit. we got back to the states and I got pregnant. we set the date to marry. I was't so sure. I so love this man, but it wasn't the same. My...
A. 5 May 2008: No No No. Get the hell out of there. Its wrong for you. Its not what he wants, its about who you are and what you want. You're not confused at all. You said it all very clearly. You know what you want and its not him. Don't worry about the ... (read in full...)
My bf of 2 yrs wants a break - to date other women! Help!
Q. My boyfriend of almost 2 years is requesting a break, but we're in an awkward situation because we live together and I just started a full time job (there is no way I could live on my own right now). He's not gonna kick me out or anything. We're ...
A. 5 May 2008: I know you must be finding this one tough hun, but I can see a lot of positives from where I'm standing. Number one is he is being honest and though it hurts, that is better than doing it behind your back. Scream at me if you want. But its true. ... (read in full...)
I invited my father to my house to support him through his recovery, only I just discovered he watches child porn! What should my next steps be??
Q. Where to start... My father had a heart attack nearly a year ago, as he was living on his own I demanded he moved in with me, my partner and our young daughter, until he made a complete recovery. He moved in, retired from his job, moved out his r...
A. 5 May 2008: Oh dear. I'm so sorry for you. What a dilemma. What a conflict must be going on in your head and your heart. But in this situation, try to get your heart out of the way and stop and look at the facts:-
1. You have a little girl. For some... (read in full...)
Not sure whether I have caught this disease from my ex or by using somebody else's sex toy! I'm so worried and need a comforting thought.
Q. I went to the sex clinic the other day and was screened for STI's. Afterwards, the doctor told me she had found some 'puss' cells inside me which indicate infection, though she didnt tell me exactly wot I had. She gave me antibiotics and told me tp ...
A. 5 May 2008: Hi Hun, sorry you are so worried about all this. Look stop worrying about HIM. You have enough to deal with. The likelihood of this coming from the vibrator are veeeeery slim I'd have thought, as most infections don't live outside the body for ... (read in full...)
My date has little free time due to his job, should I demand more time with him or try to have a good time by myself?
Q. The man i am dating this year has a little free time because he oughts to be in a lot of social events because of his responsibilities. When we arrange to meet it's fine but when he can't i try hard to accept it. I feel that he doesn't really care...
A. 5 May 2008: Hi, I know this one well. My husband works veeeeery long hours. When I met him this was so. He finished work at 12.30 at night and started at 11 in the morning, so he had no free time except for one day off a week. On that one day off he had so ... (read in full...)
We seem to be growing apart. Is he taking me for granted?
Q. Dear Cupid, I don't know what to do about my boyfriend. I love him, but after a couple years it feels we are growing apart. He works a lot more than when we first met. I keep asking him to make dates for us to hang out, but he doesn't seem to ...
A. 2 May 2008: P.S. Read 'the Rules' its great for all sorts of stuff like this. Main theme is 'don't be so available'. When you're not so available he may just start to miss you, and wonder what you're up to and who knows who you might meet when you're out ... (read in full...)
We seem to be growing apart. Is he taking me for granted?
Q. Dear Cupid, I don't know what to do about my boyfriend. I love him, but after a couple years it feels we are growing apart. He works a lot more than when we first met. I keep asking him to make dates for us to hang out, but he doesn't seem to ...
A. 2 May 2008: Hi glad you got some help from the answers. I have to tell you that the other evening after coming home in a silent car with him after I'd just been singing my little heart out in the African choir I belong to, I was immediately pulled down by his ... (read in full...)
Help me to get him back
Q. me and my boyfriend(well ex now) have been dating for seven months. we both love eachother more then anything we broke up about two weeks ago it was a stupid argument and for the first week he regreted it and said he wanted to get back togathe...
A. 1 May 2008: Read 'The Rules' honey. Get on and make your own life the best it can be. Leave him alone. The more you chase him the less he'll want you. Just act like you were dead, gone from his life. If he's interested he'll come back, if not .......... ... (read in full...)
We seem to be growing apart. Is he taking me for granted?
Q. Dear Cupid, I don't know what to do about my boyfriend. I love him, but after a couple years it feels we are growing apart. He works a lot more than when we first met. I keep asking him to make dates for us to hang out, but he doesn't seem to ...
A. 1 May 2008: Oh my oh my. Its almost like reading my own story !!!! I had same problem. Worked very long hours, finished at 12.30 at night, just saw each other for short time before he left for work next morning. But I kind of got used to it, made my own ... (read in full...)
He's my best friend and I think I love him but he sees me as a sister, do I state my feelings to him?
Q. Hiiyah! I've Been best friends with this guy for about 3 years now and i can honestly say that i love him to pieces but we've started to drift apart recently and i hate that! :( A while back before i was going with my last boyfriend i started to f...
A. 27 April 2008: Oooooh dodgy one this. It happened to my daughter. Her best friend was also a very gorgeous man. He was her helper in time of need, shoulder to cry on, etc etc. But at that time she had a boyfriend. Then she split up with him and her friend was ... (read in full...)
We break up and he suddenly texts me to marry him. I accept and now he is unexpectedly in Jamaica visiting his ex family?!
Q. me and my fiance have been having a lot of pathetic arguments lately due to trust issues,i ended it 2 wks ago after 10 days of no contact he txt me and asked me to marry him which i said yes as i love him just as much as i thought he loved me.t...
A. 27 April 2008: Pow !!!! Thats a big shock. He's there one minute and not the next, your head must be really messed up. But I bet the thing thats bothering you most is that he had this planned in his head all along and you had no idea about it, so then you ask ... (read in full...)
What can I do for our 2 years anniversary?
Q. its coming up to me and my girlfriends 2 years together and i wanted to do something for her that shows her how much i love her because last year we just went to dinner and came home and she didnt seem too impressed. any ideas? ...
A. 27 April 2008: Good question. I have the same dilemma. Tomorrow is my two year anniversary too. My husband comes from a place where they don't celebrate ANYTHING and I come from a place where we celebrate EVERYTHING so once again its a wierd time. Usually I go ... (read in full...)
Is love just an economic match with lust thrown in? Does is all come down to a matter of games?
Q. Hey all, I am pretty confused lately. I won't say I am very experienced in the relationship field, just 2 in the past . I do admit I had my silly moments and made mistakes that aren't supposed to be made as stated by the 'experts' such as David De...
A. 24 April 2008: Oh this is such a dodgy one darling. Its something I constantly ask myself. Why can't you just find someone, fall in love and be happily ever after? Sorry kid, it ain't like that. It seems if you're toonice people think you're a pushover, sad to ... (read in full...)
How can I learn how to orgasm? Is there something wrong with me?
Q. I have read the other questions related to this on the website but I am still slightly confused. Does a woman have to learn how to orgasm? I am 17 and have never experienced an orgasm, and I'm worried there is something wrong. Other girls I sp...
A. 19 April 2008: Don't worry love, you will, it just takes time and you need to take the pressure off yourself. I would personally advise not even trying to get an orgasm with your man until you've found how to do it for yourself. Then there's no pressure on ... (read in full...)
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