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... Send *eema a private message | | | *eema's profile:I'm a mature lady with a great deal of life experience. I guess I now agree with a friend who used to say 'we don't grow old, we grow wise'- doesn't mean we don't make the same mistakes, but we see them a lot quicker and hopefully have developed the tools to deal with them. I enjoy sharing my wisdom with those in trouble, just as I enjoy others sharing their wisdom with me when I am in that place too. We are all interconnected on this planet and we all need a leg up at times. It's great there are places like this for us to come. Love and blessings. |
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Do you think the long distance ruined our relationship?
Q. For the past 6 years, my husband and i are in a long distance relationship. My son who is 6 years old (he left a month before he was born) and i visit him twice yearly for a total of 10 weeks. Initially when he left, i would cry all the time and get ...
A. 31 December 2008: Then you have to talk to him about it again, tell him its not getting any better for you, that you need his love and attention if you are to survive. Maybe his position is such that he can't spare the time or the energy to give you what you need ... (read in full...)
How to end my relationship, without breaking her heart??
Q. I have recently posted a question asking whether i should stay with my girlfriend or not. After alot of thinking i have decided to end things, my question is How do i tell her i want to end things, i love her so much and i know this will upset her ...
A. 31 December 2008: OK, I see it from a different perspective. You do sound as though you really care about her but I can see your predicament. You care but you're not really getting on right? And she's going in the army, so why wait on someone you're not sure of ... (read in full...)
I'm being forced into marriage in India. Please help!!
Q. My parents have arranged a marriage with someone I really do not want to be with. He is 17yrs older than me, short, balding, overweight, unattractive and the few times I have been forced to sit with him I found him to have bad hygiene! I know people ...
A. 30 December 2008: And I forgot to say - PRAY - it helps a great deal and can move mountains. I'll be praying for you too. Good luck.... (read in full...)
I'm being forced into marriage in India. Please help!!
Q. My parents have arranged a marriage with someone I really do not want to be with. He is 17yrs older than me, short, balding, overweight, unattractive and the few times I have been forced to sit with him I found him to have bad hygiene! I know people ...
A. 30 December 2008: This is so difficult for you. You must try to find a doctor, counsellor or trusted person you can confide in and maybe even enlist their help in speaking to your father. I know this is a problem we do not have in our culture, but we empathise ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with a money leech?
Q. my question is why does my boyfriend keep asking me for money? he says he needs help paying rent. hes got a job i think? not unless hes been kicked out of work and not bothered to tell me? sometimes its £100 or £300. i told him all this money ...
A. 30 December 2008: Run, Run, run. You know nothing about him yet you are feeding him all this money. What kind of relationship is that? You obvioulsy need to be needed and are desperate to find someone, but its not HIM. You deserve someone far better than that, ... (read in full...)
How to end my relationship, without breaking her heart??
Q. I have recently posted a question asking whether i should stay with my girlfriend or not. After alot of thinking i have decided to end things, my question is How do i tell her i want to end things, i love her so much and i know this will upset her ...
A. 30 December 2008: If you love her that much you couldn't let her go, it would be impossible. Yes, it feels horrible to tell someone they aren't going to be part of your life any more. There is no easy way, trust me, its very painful for all concerned. Just do the ... (read in full...)
Why does he still have his ex wife's number?
Q. Is it normal for a guy which has been devoiced for 2 years now to still have his ex wife's number on his cellphone, just not under any contact name but 'sweetheart', she left the county to marry another guy. we have been dating for 7 months now, i ...
A. 30 December 2008: Hmmmmmm. Even look like her? I know thats not unusual, but can be a bit disconcerting if you know that. I don't think its unusual to have her number still, especially if there are kids involved, or if they parted on good terms, but tell him you ... (read in full...)
How do I save our marriage?
Q. I don't know what to do from this point. My husband doesn't have any affection toward me, and he won't touch me. He has ED. For non- medical reason. I don't know what is the reason for his ED. He says he loves me. Should I believe him? He says he ...
A. 30 December 2008: This is very difficult for you. My ex husband was very similar. It is a very lonely existence living with someone who gives nothing. Its very empty. I discovered my ex had been sexually abused as a child, but that was after 36 years - a little ... (read in full...)
14 and worried about getting pregnant!
Q. hey im 14 and i have a 17 year old boyfriend and i want to have sex with him he says he is ready when i am as long as its not years and years he said , now im fine with that im just worried of getting pregnant its so scary on tv i dont want it im ...
A. 30 December 2008: Hate to sound like an old fogey, but its acutally illegal darling to have sex under the age of 15 or 16, can't remember which at the moment, so he could potentially get into trouble - and hey, if it is years and years - as he puts it, whats the ... (read in full...)
Do you think the long distance ruined our relationship?
Q. For the past 6 years, my husband and i are in a long distance relationship. My son who is 6 years old (he left a month before he was born) and i visit him twice yearly for a total of 10 weeks. Initially when he left, i would cry all the time and get ...
A. 30 December 2008: Hi honey. Its very difficult being in a relationship where you don't get to see the other person very often. You have to work very hard at keeping things going and keeping the interest there, and if its one sided thats harder still because what ... (read in full...)
I have a family and BORED why??
Q. Hello all Iposted before and received so much great information. I have something I would like everyone's thoughts on. I ended an affair of 2 years this weekend and I'm feeling upset about it I almost feel depressed. I'm married for 14 years an...
A. 2 November 2008: Try spicing up your life - in every way - and see if that helps. If you are truly happy with your husband and not out of love with him, very small things can put you back on track. It may be your life is empty apart from your family. Ask yourself ... (read in full...)
Did I make a move forward by calling him on the phone or not?
Q. I met a guy 2 years ago in a tech event. We became friends that day and since he had to move away after wards, we started keeping in touch by emails once a month. I emailed him and he always replied back. The once a month thing became in a twice a ...
A. 2 November 2008: Well you're just gonna have to wait and see now !!!! But, just so you don't end up losing your self-esteeem on the way and feeling you're doing all the chasing, presumably he has your number too? Now you've made that first call, whynot leave it up ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have periods when you're pregnant?
Q. Hi me and my boyfriend (of 2 years) have been trying for a baby now for the past 9 months im 21 and he's 22 we have been best friends for 5 years before we got together so we know its the right thing and we have had a few finger crossing moments but ...
A. 2 November 2008: Yes you can and though a test shows negative you can still be pregnant. However, I guess you do also have to face the fact that you may well have been pregnant but something caused it not to continue. I've been in your situaition and it is very ... (read in full...)
I’ve run out of ideas of what to do - please give me advice
Q. I've liked the same guy for two years At the beginning of last year we were sort of a couple Our parents are friends which made it so much easier to see each other we all went away on holiday..there we got even closer not knowing what was still t...
A. 2 November 2008: You are both very young and I think he is just having fun with as many girls as he can - and he doesn't seem to have any trouble in getting them either !!!! Don't be too serious at this time in your life. Go out and see other boys too. You need to ... (read in full...)
Is this relationship doomed?
Q. I need advice on my current relationship. He is a great guy I think I am in love with him. I am not sure if it is for the right reasons. My husband committed suicide in front of me 1 year ago. I am sure sure if I will ever really get through ...
A. 29 October 2008: Bless you both - really. You so need each other at the moment. You are both suffering that loss, and thats why you are helping each other. He sounds extremely sensitive and caring and that is just what you need at this time. Be gentle with each ... (read in full...)
Is 'seeing each other' and 'being with someone' the same thing?
Q. hey guys this is a question for the guys... whats the difference when you say we are seeing each other and actually being with someone... is there a difference between the two phrases... why would you say we are seeing each other if you are boyfr...
A. 28 October 2008: Well I'm glad I'm not the only one who was confused by this stuff !!!! And you're young too!!! My daughters had to explain this one to me. I just never got it at all. Apparently when you are seeing someone that means you are seeing them but you ... (read in full...)
Is this relationship doomed?
Q. I need advice on my current relationship. He is a great guy I think I am in love with him. I am not sure if it is for the right reasons. My husband committed suicide in front of me 1 year ago. I am sure sure if I will ever really get through ...
A. 28 October 2008: Hi, so sorry you have had to go through all this stuff. It must have been a very difficult time for you, and these things don't just go away overnight, even though we wish them to. I, personally, feel the loss of someone through suicide is a much ... (read in full...)
I'm 23 and have never given a blowjob. Will someone please tell me how ?
Q. Ok, this is very embarrassing for me but it's something that bothers me......alot! I am 23 years old and don't know how to give a blow job for the life of me. I have had relationships in the past and they have never mentioned it, but i know myself i ...
A. 27 October 2008: Well done the boys!!!! Think you should get all the info you need there. You go girl !!!... (read in full...)
Please help me - I've been raped and it's destroying my life!
Q. i feel so dirty! i always wanted to save my virignity for marrage, and even if i didnt wait until marrage i wanted to wait until i had settled down with the right guy and i knew i was fully comfortable! well, even though i am in quite a good ...
A. 14 October 2008: Wow!!!! Justice was done!!! You got the whole kitkaboodle there kid - I'm so pleased for you. It must be so good knowing he got what he deserved and that you and the other girl have saved so many other young girls from this treatment by being so ... (read in full...)
I haven't heard anything... so is there any point?
Q. Hi all, need your help again. The guy I was seeing for three months came home a wedding in England and invited me out on the Sat night and I couldn't go with work commitments. He phoned me on the Tuesday after as I had had a break in to the house ...
A. 9 October 2008: Hi lovely Irish lady. Can hear your accent as you write :)))). Well my best peice of advice for you is read the book called 'The Rules'. Its all about how to behave in a relationship and how to keep your man. Its not about playing games, its ... (read in full...)
Young married couple... headed for disaster
Q. I am a 26 year old married female, mother of a two year old. I have been married 3 years, and it feels like 50! My husband and I dated 2 years before hand and have known each other 6 years total. We have had our ups and downs but lately it feels ...
A. 9 October 2008: Hi. Well I'm not young, but I have recently remarried (2 1/2 years ago) to a man much younger than me. Your situation is very interesting because I can see some similarities with my situation. I don't have kids, but I don't go out to work either ... (read in full...)
Is there any point in discussing what we each want out of this relationship when I cant see it going anywhere? Should I just break it off?
Q. I think my relationship is in trouble. You know how you can go out with someone and it's pretty good, not too dreadful, and you start dating regularly, and it just stays sort of OK and doesn't really go anywhere? That's how I feel. I've been...
A. 8 October 2008: Oh dear, its all up in the air - but no communication. You're thinking one thing, she's thinking another, and shall you, shant you - but you're not SAYING it to each other. You've been around quite a while. She sounds as fed up as you. BUT you ... (read in full...)
I asked him to be gentle but he focused on himself during sex and wouldn't mind my objections. Should I believe him that it won't happen again?
Q. Hi, So I need some serious advice again. Ive been with my boyfriend a little over 4 months and for our anniversary, i booked a hotel to make our 'first time' special. I had told him I wanted to take it slow with lots of foreplay and candle...
A. 3 October 2008: Pleased you are doing whats right for you. Clear your head and take time to get over this. Then you will see exactly what you need to do. All the time you are in it, its too difficult. Good luck.... (read in full...)
Is there any way I can get him to invite me over at his house? I suspect he's still living with the ex? Can I get him to change his mind or feelings?
Q. I have been dating this guy for about 7months now. He has been to my house many times. I havent been to his place yet. He says hes stayin with his sister due to a recent situation. However, a couple weeks ago his "ex" or "g/f" lives a few blocks up ...
A. 2 October 2008: Darling you're not confused and hurt at all. You know exactly whats going on, you've said it all above. Trust your gut and do what its telling you. You don't need us to say it, you already know. ... (read in full...)
I feel so shallow for feeling this way, my boyfriend's such a great guy, and my best friend, but I just can't get over his bad hair, and skinny body!
Q. Please help! My boyfriend and I have been together for the last three years, and we were very much in love. However, recently I feel like my eyes have been opened up, and suddenly I'm not attracted to him like I once was. I still believe that my ...
A. 2 October 2008: I know its very easy to say appearance doesn't matter, but personally, I feel for most of us its the whole package. Doesn't mean we all have to be like Brigitte Bardot or Brad Pitt, but there is usually an initial physical attraction somewhere ... (read in full...)
I have had trust issues that I really don't want to have. Do you think they are justified? Can I trust him?
Q. This is really hard for me to ask for help. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. We live together and both have a child in the mix. We live like we are married even though we aren't. Three months into our realtionship a friend of ...
A. 2 October 2008: Oh dear, you are so wound up with all of this, and I can read the pain going on for you here. I think you have to sort the fact from the fiction here. What is past and what is present? Some men do have a lot of female friends, like some women ... (read in full...)
I think my little sister is having sex. How should I handle this?
Q. I’m 20 male and have a 15 year old half sister who leaves with my Dad. I know she has had a bf for the last 4-5 months of which I didn’t think anything of it. The problem is, whilst I checking her social networking site for weird people and stuff...
A. 2 October 2008: Well, officially she is under age, but that doesn't seem to stop most people nowadays, so you could just try a general chat about girlfriends and stuff and drop in the point about underage sex without pointing the finger - which will just make her ... (read in full...)
Should I fight to stay with the father of my unborn child? I feel depressed as he doesn't want me or his child.
Q. Should I fight to stay with the father of my unborn child? I love him so much and want this baby. He insists that he doesnt want to be with me and has been going out with his mates every night since he split up with me. I feel absolutely cr...
A. 2 October 2008: Sorry to sound harsh darling, I can hear your pain, but how would you feel if he came back to you and while you were alone with the baby he was out doing whatever he is doing now? You'd feel so anxious with having a baby to deal with and another ... (read in full...)
Help me deal with stress! On the outside I appear so easy going but inside I keep worrying about silly things!
Q. hi! does anyone have any tips on how to avoid stress as much as possible? sometimes i have problems sleeping and I know its down to stress.. on the outside I appear so easy going and happy but inside I am wound up and broken.. I worry about eve...
A. 2 October 2008: Well you're not alone darling. I heard a pschycologist say on the tv the other day that all people are anxious all the time - and that was a great relief to me too!!!! We all think its just us, but we are all things, every one of us, there are just ... (read in full...)
Why do girls give oral sex?
Q. do girls give guys bj's because they want to or do they just do it to make the guys feel good in a relationship...
A. 2 October 2008: I bet I know what you're thinking - WHY would anyone want to put that thing in their mouth????? Why would you want to do that????? Yes, me too, when I was your age I wondered just the same thing. I thought it was disgusting, and never even gave a ... (read in full...)
My step daughter wants money but shows no respect, because I didn't raise her! At what point enough is enough?
Q. Dear cupid and agony aunts out there, there is a heck of alot going on here ! I am a married guy, 49, and my spouse, female of course is 46. we both have children which are now in their twenties. we have been together for 14 years, having struggl...
A. 2 October 2008:
Glad to know you are smiling again. Like I said this time in your life is not easy, but if they are to become responsible adults, they have to find out how. You are teaching her. Well done.... (read in full...)
My step daughter wants money but shows no respect, because I didn't raise her! At what point enough is enough?
Q. Dear cupid and agony aunts out there, there is a heck of alot going on here ! I am a married guy, 49, and my spouse, female of course is 46. we both have children which are now in their twenties. we have been together for 14 years, having struggl...
A. 30 September 2008: Enough is enough when you've had enough - and sound to me that this is it - or you wouldn't be asking the question. Its very hard when our kids are growing up to make a stand cus we love them, we want to help them and we hate to see them ... (read in full...)
What kind of message can I send him on Facebook to show him I really like him?
Q. So I met this guy and the youth club who taught us a masterclass in physical theatre, he runs his own theatre company. I really fancied him a lot. And I think he was flirting with me. I never got the chance to get his number or details. However, a ...
A. 28 September 2008: OK. I got it now!!!! Technology!!! Well, you are pretty keen I can see that, so must be thinking about him a lot. BUT you do think he's in a relationship and you're not sure he's gay either. Hmmmmm. I'd say be very casual and respectful. Just ... (read in full...)
I finally found my lost love after 16 years, but he's married? What do you think is the best thing I should do?
Q. I just recently found a man i was in love with back in high school, and still in love with after. We were together for four years even after he moved away. He then moved back after high school graduation so we could be together. The thing is, the ...
A. 20 September 2008: Well the fact that you're on here asking us shows that you don't feel this is the right thing to do while he's married or you'd be doing it!!!! Yes, something may come of it, but how would you feel if someone came running after your husband when ... (read in full...)
Is playing hard to get a good strategy to get the person you want?
Q. Hi all, This question has been around in my mind for quite some time. So I would like to know does doing that actually makes that person you want crave for you, like you more and wants to pursue you instead? 'Cos I am susceptible to becom...
A. 20 September 2008: Oh dear darling. I hate to say it but when romance seems to be such hard work ....... and in the early stages when it should be fun ........... is this the right person for you at all? Can't you find someone who gives you less head damage and ... (read in full...)
I found photos of him as a cross dresser in the Internet, it seems he was an escort and is bi, I am so frightened to aproach him about this and don't know how.
Q. I have been with my man for 2 years now, we hit it off from the word go and fell in love pretty quick, we are so close and always confide in each other if we have anything on our minds. We have just bought a house together and I could not have bee...
A. 18 September 2008: God you are very strong keeping all this inside for so long, don't know how you did that. But you are also very wise. You didn't go blasting at the least little thing. You have armed yourself with all the information you need and made sure its ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend likes to tease me a lot, sometimes rudely. Or am I a nit pick?
Q. My boyfriend likes to tease me a lot. I understand sometimes it is funny but sometimes it really gets to me. For example, when I got home last night we were about to go to bed and he said I bet in your dream home you want a huge closet, I said yes ...
A. 17 September 2008: No. Don't put up with it. He obviously doesn't feel good about himself so he's trying to pull you down to make himself feel better. Its very easy to say 'only joking' after, but whose laughing? Next time ask him 'Does it make you feel big to try ... (read in full...)
Is playing hard to get a good strategy to get the person you want?
Q. Hi all, This question has been around in my mind for quite some time. So I would like to know does doing that actually makes that person you want crave for you, like you more and wants to pursue you instead? 'Cos I am susceptible to becom...
A. 17 September 2008: Hmmmmm. In the Rules it states treat the one you want like the one you don't want - well thats not easy for a start !!!! But all I can tell you is it works like a dream cus I did it UNINTENTIONALLY I have to say. When I met my man I really was NOT ... (read in full...)
I found photos of him as a cross dresser in the Internet, it seems he was an escort and is bi, I am so frightened to aproach him about this and don't know how.
Q. I have been with my man for 2 years now, we hit it off from the word go and fell in love pretty quick, we are so close and always confide in each other if we have anything on our minds. We have just bought a house together and I could not have bee...
A. 17 September 2008: P.S. How do you mean you just typed his nickname on the net and you got his profiles up? Do you just google it or something? I'm veeeeeery curious about that one.... (read in full...)
I found photos of him as a cross dresser in the Internet, it seems he was an escort and is bi, I am so frightened to aproach him about this and don't know how.
Q. I have been with my man for 2 years now, we hit it off from the word go and fell in love pretty quick, we are so close and always confide in each other if we have anything on our minds. We have just bought a house together and I could not have bee...
A. 17 September 2008: Oh darling I'm so sorry you found more of this shit to look at. Thats the other hardest part about all this...... You really don't want to snoop but you just have to keep looking to see whats going on, and the anxiety you feel when you find ... (read in full...)
We only have sex infrequently and he lets everything else come between our sex life. How can I get him to see how much I need sex?
Q. My boyfriend used to have a really high sex drive and now seems to have none. We have gone weeks without sex and I seem to be the only one who cares. When I said something to him about it he actually said to me "Well, I have a lot on my mind and ...
A. 16 September 2008: I think some people get really lazy when they're in a relationship and do the least they can. Yes he can get his jollies on the net, no sweat, quick and easy, then he's satisfied and where does that leave you? Is this the only area he's selfish in ... (read in full...)
I found photos of him as a cross dresser in the Internet, it seems he was an escort and is bi, I am so frightened to aproach him about this and don't know how.
Q. I have been with my man for 2 years now, we hit it off from the word go and fell in love pretty quick, we are so close and always confide in each other if we have anything on our minds. We have just bought a house together and I could not have bee...
A. 16 September 2008: Oh God, what a shock!!!! And its so much worse when you see it in black and white for yourself. Its like being hit with a sledge hammer from 10 different directions. And to find out so many different things you never knew too. You must be reeling ... (read in full...)
I asked him to be gentle but he focused on himself during sex and wouldn't mind my objections. Should I believe him that it won't happen again?
Q. Hi, So I need some serious advice again. Ive been with my boyfriend a little over 4 months and for our anniversary, i booked a hotel to make our 'first time' special. I had told him I wanted to take it slow with lots of foreplay and candle...
A. 16 September 2008: Oh darling, sorry you had this experience when you wanted it to be so special. I'm sure you feel very confused about this. I feel confused too. You've been with him 4 months, so he was patient enough to wait for sex until you were ready, yet gets ... (read in full...)
Please help me - I've been raped and it's destroying my life!
Q. i feel so dirty! i always wanted to save my virignity for marrage, and even if i didnt wait until marrage i wanted to wait until i had settled down with the right guy and i knew i was fully comfortable! well, even though i am in quite a good ...
A. 6 September 2008: You go girl !!!! Luvya too xxxx... (read in full...)
Please help me - I've been raped and it's destroying my life!
Q. i feel so dirty! i always wanted to save my virignity for marrage, and even if i didnt wait until marrage i wanted to wait until i had settled down with the right guy and i knew i was fully comfortable! well, even though i am in quite a good ...
A. 31 August 2008: Oh darling!!! I'm so happy for you. What a mature girl you are to have grown so much from this experience too. I'm so happy things turned out the way they did. You'll be able to help others now when they have this kind of problem, and I know you ... (read in full...)
Please help me - I've been raped and it's destroying my life!
Q. i feel so dirty! i always wanted to save my virignity for marrage, and even if i didnt wait until marrage i wanted to wait until i had settled down with the right guy and i knew i was fully comfortable! well, even though i am in quite a good ...
A. 11 August 2008: Aaaaah wel done you. I'm so happy now. You didn't deserve to punish yourself further by being isolated with this. Now you have the right people giving you the right love and support, and thats what you do deserve. I know thats not the end of it, ... (read in full...)
Please help me - I've been raped and it's destroying my life!
Q. i feel so dirty! i always wanted to save my virignity for marrage, and even if i didnt wait until marrage i wanted to wait until i had settled down with the right guy and i knew i was fully comfortable! well, even though i am in quite a good ...
A. 10 August 2008: Aaah darling, so pleased you are moving forward. Your reply is so much more positive and I know you'll be ok. What a great mum. You know she'll be in for that night time hug - she'll do anything for you, she'll be there 24/7, and she'll deal with ... (read in full...)
Please help me - I've been raped and it's destroying my life!
Q. i feel so dirty! i always wanted to save my virignity for marrage, and even if i didnt wait until marrage i wanted to wait until i had settled down with the right guy and i knew i was fully comfortable! well, even though i am in quite a good ...
A. 7 August 2008: Oh my dear sweet child. How I so want to give you a hug. This is so bad for you. You really do need help - and fast. Its great you told your boyfriend, but you really must get help darling. Go to your Doctor immediately and tell him your ... (read in full...)
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