A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:hey im 14 and i have a 17 year old boyfriend and i want to have sex with him he says he is ready when i am as long as its not years and years he said , now im fine with that im just worried of getting pregnant its so scary on tv i dont want it im just worried you no i need help someone who's been through this allready . Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Abrasive_Reality  +, writes (30 December 2008):
Well, I believe it is perfectly normal for a young girl to be intrigued by the thought of sex. However, as intrigued and intertwined as you may be about having sex with your boyfriend, it can be a pretty big deal. I lost my virginity when I was 16 years old to my 18 year old boyfriend, when I look back, I know that I wasn't truly ready. I was always against sex before marriage, yada yah, but my mind changed, and at first it was because of a stupid boy. Just a stupid boy looking to get some the quickest way possible, and I was so intrigued. It wasn't all it was cracked out to be because I didn't know how to enjoy it, I didn't understand. Now I know that there is no way a 17 year old boy could know how to please a girl, they do it for their own gratification. Now, I am not telling you to go out and have sex with a much older man, but I am saying that if deep inside you want to wait, you should. If he cannot respect your wishes to wait, then hes not worth it. He will be your first, not your last, but you always remember your first. I remember my first, the first day, how it felt, how awkward it was, and how i thought i was so in love and realized that I wasn't.
However, if it is something you are truly looking to do and you have decided to have sex with him, then its important for you to know your options about protection so you cannot get any STD's or even pregnant. Personally, a condom is fine if you use it correctly, but of course there are the issues that come along with it, so I suggest going on Birth Control, and more than likely in your area there is a planned parenthood that you can go to. That is where I went once I started to have sex; you get a pap-smear (which if you aren't ready for that, sex should not be something you are ready for), they will talk to you about birth controls you can use, and because you are more than likely a student it shouldn't cost you anything, just a little donation. I used to get a 3 month supply of birth control for 3 or 4 dollars. Its completely confidential and i definitely suggest it if you are going to have sex.
On a side note though, make sure you are genuinely ready, you as your own person, not because of what someone else may want or what others around you are doing. Maybe you don't know if you are certain, but with things like that, those are feelings that you just know.
Best of luck to you, and I hope you found some help in my answer.
A
female
reader, Lauren.. +, writes (30 December 2008):
 Hi
I think that this boy is saying things to make you feel a little bit pressured, because even though he knows that you are not ready, he is still saying, in a way, that he wont wait for you to be ready and of legal age.
In my opinion, dont have sex with a guy when you are not ready because it will be something that you will regret afterwards, if it turns out that he isnt the guy for you. You are after all only 14 years old, which means that you have a few years before it is legal to do so, and if he wont wait around that long, or until you feel ready, then dont do it.
If you do feel that you are ready and he is the right guy to have sex with for your firdt time, use contraception, such as condoms because they do help prevent pregnancy. However, if you are really that scared about getting pregnant at this age, then my advice is to wait until you feel responsible enough to handle the sexual part.
I hope ive helped a little bit. Good Luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008): Everyone else who replied is pretty right. Your boyfriend isn'y concerned about you or your well being. It seems like he's much more interested in having sex then having a relationship with you. And considering that he's 17 and you're 14 it seems a little strange that he's not trying to pull this off with a girl his own age (probably because he doesn't think it would be as easy to get over on one of them. Don't let him pressure you into having sex. By telling you that he's ready when your ready but doesn't want to wait to long is his way of trying to pressure you to put out.
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (30 December 2008):
 He's playing with you, it's a psychological game, on one hand he sais i will wait until you are ready on the other hand he sais it better not be years from now! you are 14!!, it might be years from now until you are ready, what an ass, you are far too young right now, just wait. the only way to avoid pregnancy is to not have sex. just be friends until you are older and then............maybe............Be very careful, if he loves you he will wait no matter how long it takes, you are 14 not 40, of course it will be at least a couple of years until you are ready:)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008): Ist off, doesn't your b/f know it's against the law to have sex with a minor. All 17yr. olds r ready for sex. If this boy/man cares/loves you he will wait till you're of age. You don't have to have intercourse to show someone you love them, don't feel pressured. How will you feel if you split up with guy??
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A
female
reader, Deema +, writes (30 December 2008):
 Hate to sound like an old fogey, but its acutally illegal darling to have sex under the age of 15 or 16, can't remember which at the moment, so he could potentially get into trouble - and hey, if it is years and years - as he puts it, whats the rush. You are a very young girl. There is no time schedule on these things. If he wants it so badly let him find someone who can legally have it with him. This is a very important decision you are making. You don't want to be left with regrets for years to come, so don't rush into anything and don't let anyone pressure you before you are ready. Also if you are intent on going ahead with this, and it is your decision, then get yourself along to your doctor or local family planning clinic. They are bound by confidentiality not to tell anyone and will give you what you need, free. You do need to be protected. Also make sure he uses a condom, there are so many diseases out there and you don't want those either. Take your time darling. You can never get that special time back.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (30 December 2008):
We've all be through this already hun.
If you don't want to get pregnant then your safest bet is not to have sex. There is plenty of other stuff you can do with your boyfriend.
If you do decide to take that step then make sure you ALWAYS use condoms and think about going on the pill as well. Make sure you understand about the morning after pill and where to get it.
But if you are scared and unsure then the safest bet is to point out to your boyfriend that you are underage and not ready and he'll just have to wait.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, The Gentle Man +, writes (30 December 2008):
 Well firstly I think you are a little young to be thinking about sex. Not to mention that it is illegal for your boyfriend.
Make sure that you want to have sex and its not because your boyfriend is putting any preassure on you. You mentioned that he wouldnt wait for years and I hope you are not thinking that if you dont he will leave. If this is the case he is just using and abusing you and deserves to be dumped.
So if you are sure its for the right reasons heres what you need.
Condoms & The pill.
The Pill - Make an appointment with your doctor and ask for the pill. I know it must seem daunting but GPs will deal with this alot so dont think you are alone.
Condoms - Both of you should carry these and they are fairly easy to get hold of. Im sure your boyfriend will know where to get them. Just make sure to check the expiry date on them and under no circumstances use oil based lubricants with them (will burst the condom).
Condoms are defenetely the most important thing you will ever need for sex. Do not have sex without them. Do not let him put his penis in your vagina without a condom, ever.
If you have an older friend or cousin you can confide in, they are defenetely the best person to speak to.
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