Is it better if he stays in the army or leaves?
Q. Hello, My boyfriend has just returned to army training, after 2 weeks leave. He has been there for 15 weeks before hand. He has to go to training in england which means he is away from home in Northern Ireland. As soon as he got back he said he ...
A. 13 April 2010: If he really doesn't want to be in the Army, then he needs to decide sooner rather than later. Once he finishes his basic training, there is a very high chance that they may well send him out to the front line, depending on which branch of the Army ... (read in full...)
Grown man still obeying his parents
Q. He tells me he loves me and wants us to be together even if he has to wait forever since his family won't allow us to be together. He doesn't want to risk loosing them and wants me to wait for them to accept us. He is 23 and still listens to his ...
A. 13 April 2010: He is only 23, and you have multiple kids? I suspect this is what his parents find worrying. They probably do not want him to get cosy with you, as they do not want to inherit someone elses grandchildren. I suspect they see you as a gold-digger, who ... (read in full...)
Is an emotional affair more meaningful than a sexual one?
Q. One mainly for the guys but if any of you ladies have comments................... When you have an emotional affair which does not get physical is that more meaningful to a guy than a relationship which is mainly sex orientated??...
A. 11 April 2010: I don't know about how guys feel about this, so I can only advise from my own personal experience.
I couldn't say if they were more meaningful, as I am an emotional woman, and that is very important to me. BUT I know all to well how painful ... (read in full...)
Would he still want me if he knew I had a son?
Q. there is a guy who i have been going out with for 3 weeks he dosent know about my son and im scared to tell him in case he dosent accept me and my son are a deal he has me he accepts my son to its starting to worry me so i try not bring up my ...
A. 11 April 2010: You have a responsibility now, as you are a Mother, and like it or not, your son will be part of your life for the rest of yours.
Sadly, this may mean that there will be men who do not want to get involved with you because of your son.
But th... (read in full...)
He's 50, I'm 18, His ex drives me mad
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half. He's 50 and i'm 18(not a problem for either of us). He is currently living with his mother because he's trying to save to get a place for us. He has two children: a boy of 15 and a girl of ...
A. 11 April 2010: You have been with a 50 year old man for a year and a half, and you are only 18? That in itself is something rather worrying. That means you cannot have been much past your 16th Birthday when you first started a relationship with him! To me, this ... (read in full...)
I'm ready to lose it but he can't use condoms
Q. well im 15 years old and iv been with my boyfriend a while and we are ready to have sex, but the only thing is he cant use condoms so i am not protected, but i really want to do it with him because im ready and im in love with him, but im scared ...
A. 11 April 2010: Ok First of all, as you are 15, LEGALLY it is against the law for you to have sex in the UK. The LEGAL AGE OF CONSENT is 16, so unless you are 16, you are unable to give consent, and it will be classed as RAPE, regardless of if you say yes, think ... (read in full...)
How do I persuade my mum to let me go on holiday with my boyfriend?
Q. Hi. I'm seventeen and my boyfriend has asked me to go away with him for a few days in the summer. We wouldn't be going far, just to the coast about 2 hours drive away, and only for a few days - a week maximum - and by then I'd be nearly 18. I ...
A. 10 April 2010: I dont think your Mum has a problem with you spending time alone with your boyfriend, or the having sex part. You may be over the legal age of consent for sex, BUT I think it is because you are still LEGALLY a child, until you hit 18 that she is ... (read in full...)
I need good advice, how do I get over loving my teacher?
Q. Okaii,so most of you already know from my last question that I am in love with my teacher,but believe me I wish I wasn't,not because of him but because we can't be together 'obviously',even though I really wish we could,so my last question was "how ...
A. 9 April 2010: Jaii, I apologise if you think I have been harsh, but we can only go on what you write. You said you wanted to be a teacher, so I was just trying to give you some pointers. Sadly there are many people who write like that all the time, and see no ... (read in full...)
I need good advice, how do I get over loving my teacher?
Q. Okaii,so most of you already know from my last question that I am in love with my teacher,but believe me I wish I wasn't,not because of him but because we can't be together 'obviously',even though I really wish we could,so my last question was "how ...
A. 9 April 2010: "The only reason that I have for why *MY* writing is sometimes in slang"
There is NO reason for it. You dont need to do it, no one is forcing you. It is down to you and you alone. Its like swearing, why do it? The English Language is full of wonde... (read in full...)
I need good advice, how do I get over loving my teacher?
Q. Okaii,so most of you already know from my last question that I am in love with my teacher,but believe me I wish I wasn't,not because of him but because we can't be together 'obviously',even though I really wish we could,so my last question was "how ...
A. 9 April 2010: If you are an A Grade student WHY on earth are you producing writing like this then??
"I have no idea wt u sed to me,but the wastn tym bit,I'm nt thts y I have posted. Anova question askin for advice about how to get over him as I can't tell or ... (read in full...)
I need good advice, how do I get over loving my teacher?
Q. Okaii,so most of you already know from my last question that I am in love with my teacher,but believe me I wish I wasn't,not because of him but because we can't be together 'obviously',even though I really wish we could,so my last question was "how ...
A. 9 April 2010: Hi Jaii Dixie
I have read both your questions, and as a teacher myself, I have a few words of advice for you.
This is not meant to sound harsh, but if you truly want to go into teaching then you need to realise what it is all about.
Fi... (read in full...)
Should I just ask him bluntly if he wants to go further?
Q. So me and my best friend and I have been messing around, like I've been giving him handjobs and he's been touching me. The first time I saw him after the first time it happened he acted awkward and we didn't do it again, so I texted him and told him ...
A. 8 April 2010: Woooah, slow down!
Already, after just a bit of fondling, handjobs and fingering, your brain is already thinking about relationships and getting "official".
He is your best friend. Have you thought that is all he might want to be? Men are funn... (read in full...)
Anxious about body changes from taking the pill.
Q. I have never been on the pill but I am getting quite a bit of hair on my neck and chin, I have made an appointment with my doctor and my friend says she will probably test my hormone levels, how do they do that? I have googled the pill and the...
A. 8 April 2010: I think no one can give you a definative answer on this, as no pill has the same effect on every woman!. I think because we are all different our bodies deal with the hormones in different ways, so what one woman thinks is a fantastic pill with no ... (read in full...)
Nothing is putting me off wanting a baby, am I really ready at 14 or is it just a phase?
Q. [Moderator's Note: Poster's real age is 13, not 18-21] okay, this question wasnt posted for me to be insulted. so if you have a problem then please leave your comments out. im 13, nearly 14, and i am desperete for a baby. i was watching a docum...
A. 8 April 2010: Is this you? The poster of this question had also seen a BBC3 programme about teen mums and thought she was "Ready".
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-want-a-baby-at-13.html
If it is not you, then I really suggest you read through that que... (read in full...)
I only want sex once with a girl then I want to move on!
Q. I'm a guy. I don't really think I have a problem but I'm getting into a situation. My thing is I can only have sex with a girl once. After that, I'm not interested anymore and I just move on to the next one. This one girl that I did is no...
A. 7 April 2010: Sorry, I just read this and have to comment.
I have a work collegue, who was/is just like you. He doesn't see a problem with his behaviour. He chases girls sleeps with them, and they never hear from him again, because he has moved on to the next... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my husband want any children??
Q. my husband and i have been together for 13 yrs now. we have 2 children although only one is biologically his. we have currently come across a problem. when i bring up the subject of another child, he says he doesnt want anymore. he knows that this ...
A. 1 April 2010: I am going to quote what you said.
"how can i get him to understand how i feel and consider another child??"
If you flip this statement to read:
"How can i get HER to understand how I feel and NOT have another child? "
How would you feel ... (read in full...)
How can I end this painful and perpetual cycle and finally get together with someone? Preferably her?
Q. I am a 38 year old guy with not much experience of sexual relationships but a lot of experience when it comes to missed opportunities. 5 years ago I met a young woman who I really hit it off with. I worked with her but every time it came to asking ...
A. 1 April 2010: Be Brave!
Tell her you like her, and enjoy spending time with her. If you find it difficult face to face, send her an email, ask her out that way. Just do something!!!!!!!!
I speak from experience here, having always missed the boat, train,... (read in full...)
I've been having unprotected sex with my boyfriend for months,but I did take 3 contraceptive pills at once, could I be pregnant?
Q. im a bit confused.... 2 days before i was due on my period i took 3 conterception pills in one night, i heard that by doing that it can delay your period for a couple of days, is that true? but im now 5 days late on my period, these past few m...
A. 31 March 2010: First of all you need to book yourself a Doctors appointment NOW.
In answer to your questions, basic sex education.
Unprotected sex = Babies
This is how life works.
Are you really 18-21 years old? Do you know ANYTHING about contraceptio... (read in full...)
She's getting attracted to girls again, and is bugging me to let do something with them! I think it's cheating. Help!
Q. Me and my girlfriend 'W' have been together for almost a year and a half. We met at school and liked each other straight away. I was shocked to learn recently that she used to only like girls, and has in the past had girlfriends, but she says it ...
A. 31 March 2010: I think you need to look at the whole picture here.
1. How would you feel if she wanted to "experiment" with other guys, not girls?
2. How would SHE feel if YOU wanted to "experiment" with other guys/girls?
Cheating is cheating regardless o... (read in full...)
I don't know how to cook and need some tips
Q. Ok I know this doesn't have anything to do with sex,relationship or love but I have to ask sombody...... well im 21 years old and I have a two year old and im preg.... I live with my boyfriend and my two year old. Well we always eat out, because ...
A. 30 March 2010: Firstly, well done on even beginning to start to want to cook! I love cooking, I get great joy out of seeing people gobble up my food lol.
I know you are in America, but in the UK, we have a lady called Delia Smith, who has taught countles... (read in full...)
Why are my teachers saying I'm anorexic??
Q. Hi again, I know I have already put a question up about teachers and boyfriends! But can someone help me.... All my teachers (and I really do mean ALL my teachers) are telling me I'm anorexic! Ok I may not be helping this situation by calling mys...
A. 28 March 2010: This is a question you need to be asking a qualified medical Doctor, not people on the internet.
The fact that you deny so strongly that "please don't say eat because I'm NOT anorexic!" makes me very concerned for you, as this is classic denial s... (read in full...)
Due a month before cousin's wedding, I'm maid of honor, can I back out?
Q. I'm due a month before cousin's wedding, and I'm maid of honor, can I back out? Currently it is late March. Two weeks ago my cousin asked me to be maid of honor for her wedding in early September. I'm due almost exactly a month before the wedding ...
A. 27 March 2010: I think she sounds totally out of order, and is being remarkably selfish!
You have every right to turn round and back out now, because that email was the last straw.
Bottom line, you are pregnant, and yes, you are due a month before the weddi... (read in full...)
Would a relationship like this be wrong?
Q. Hey guys, I like this guy and he likes me. Thing is he's a teacher and I'm nearing the end of my 1st year of college. He's also a lot older than me. My questions are: 1. Would a relationship with him be legal? We didn't admit our f...
A. 26 March 2010: If he has been/is currently your teacher, then no, It is totally against the rules for him to engage in any type of relationship with you other than just teacher/pupil.
It would call into question his morality, and the trust that parents have in ... (read in full...)
Is he too old for me or should I continue to pursue him?
Q. Hi, I'm 14 in May and i really really like this guy in my school but he's 18 in August so there's four years between us, plus he's leaving school soon. I asked him out once and he said he would - IF i was his age. We're really good friends already ...
A. 25 March 2010: Short answer, he is WAY too old for you.
He has already told you what he thinks, that you are too young for him, so you need to respect his feelings and get over him. No matter how much you pursue him, he isnt going to change his mind, and as a... (read in full...)
Is the potential for a relationship here?
Q. Alright. This, I'm sure is probably a common (ish?) situation. I'm seventeen. I look older than I am, (around early twenties, so I've been told), so that might explain a little bit of this situation. At my job, there's a guy, he's married and about ...
A. 24 March 2010: Ok, first of all, take two steps back and try and look at this with a bit of objective.
Firstly, he is married, therefor he should be totally off limits to you.
He sounds like a total ass, because he is essentially flirting with you, a teen... (read in full...)
What is this pink discharge?
Q. i have pink discharge, it's not much at all, just when i urinate.. i've missed 2 periods, and i took 2 pregnancy tests, but both came back negative. i'm wondering what this pink discharge is... could it mean i'm pregnant? i have that "pregnant ...
A. 24 March 2010: Please go and see your Doctor about this.
If the symptoms are only when you urinate, you may have a Urinary tract infection, which can be cleared up with antibiotics very easily.
They will also be able to give you the once over, check to s... (read in full...)
Ever since I got a boyfriend, my best guy friend hasn't been talking to me as much. I miss him!
Q. I just got a boyfriend and he really cares about me but ever since I've had a boyfriend my best guy friend hasn't been talking to me much. I like my boyfriend but I still have strong feelings for my friend. I feel like crying! I would never hurt my ...
A. 24 March 2010: Your male friend is probably backing off, because he is worried what your boyfriend might do if he gets too close. We all have an inbuilt warning system, especially when it comes to other peoples BF/GF. If we respect a friend and their relationship, ... (read in full...)
He doesn't think condoms are safe enough and I dislike pills. Should I go on the pill?
Q. Me and my boyfriend want to have sex but I am not on the pill and I don't want to, I have regular periods and they a very light, I have no problems with mood swings etc. very lukcy, I think and I don't want to go on the pill because this could ...
A. 22 March 2010: The condom doesnt just stop pregnancy, it also prevents against disease. Pills are also not 100% safe, and can fail. My cousin is living proof of that!
Sadly men use many excuses not to use condoms. A lot of guys dont like them, and will try and ... (read in full...)
I'm a pupil and I can't deal with my teachers backstabbing me...
Q. hi im a fifteen year old girl, and recently i found out that some teachers have been talking about me. im a fairly good student, a bit loud i admit, but nothing too bad. however, my friend's mum works in the school office, and the other day she over...
A. 22 March 2010: I agree with eyes, you have only found out about this second hand - how reliable is this woman to you? Could the whole scenario have been embellished?
As a teacher myself, what I will say, is that I dont like pupils swearing, even if it is to th... (read in full...)
Contraception and what would suit me best?
Q. Hi All, Ok, so being at Uni, life has moved pretty fast, and I've found myself falling for an amazing guy, we've been together for a few weeks. We've been sleeping together and I'm currently on the pill. We are both clear of STIs, so that's not a ...
A. 18 March 2010: Woahh..Slow down a couple of paces.
You have only been together a few weeks, you are already sleeping with him, and have already decided to get rid of condoms....
Just be careful.
I work at a University, and I know it is a hotbed of casual... (read in full...)
Lying to parents to spend time with army boyfriend? Any advice?
Q. Hello... Well ive been going out with my boyfriend for about 6 months now...He is coming back from the army soon and i wanted to spend two days at his dads house with him when his dad is away.. just to have time to talk and stuff... But this would...
A. 9 March 2010: "doesnt seem very positive which is worrying me" What did you expect everyone to say? Encourage you to lie to your parents? Have you not seen the news lately - a girl being raped and murdered because she lied to their parents about where they were ... (read in full...)
Lying to parents to spend time with army boyfriend? Any advice?
Q. Hello... Well ive been going out with my boyfriend for about 6 months now...He is coming back from the army soon and i wanted to spend two days at his dads house with him when his dad is away.. just to have time to talk and stuff... But this would...
A. 8 March 2010: Don't lie to your parents. If you want them to treat you like an adult, then you need to act like one. If they find out that you lied to them, they will lose all trust in you, and be even more restrictive with you in the future. They will probably ... (read in full...)
I am 16 and want to go to college and have a baby!
Q. I am 16 and my boyfriend and i have been talking about having a baby for months, we know we are sufficeintly mature enough. He has an evening job which earns a good amount. what i would like to know is.. if you are a hard working person, is it ...
A. 6 March 2010: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/15-with-a-10-month-old-baby-i.html
... (read in full...)
She moves very fast...should I run?
Q. So... I met this girl online on a dating chat site. The kind where you have your own avatar and walk around a virtual world and etc. We have been together on this site for about... 2 weeks give or take. spending upwards of 8 hours a day with each ...
A. 6 March 2010: I think you have been conned. Why did you not use contraception? Why did you have sex with her so soon after meeting her for the first time?
The fact that you tried to use the pull out method (which is unreliable the majority of times), and she ... (read in full...)
I ejaculated in her face and now she is ignoring me.
Q. Well it all started when my freind suggested we hav sex ill admit it was great but it all went wrong when she went to finish me off she sucked me then told me to cum in her mouth i couldnt hold it long enough and ejaculated that hard i ended up ...
A. 5 March 2010: I think sex and friends is a very dodgy bit of ground to be walking on in the first place. If you dont want to lose her as a friend, dont have sex with her - in any form. I really dont understand this new trend for giving BJ at the drop of a hat! It ... (read in full...)
I am 16 and want to go to college and have a baby!
Q. I am 16 and my boyfriend and i have been talking about having a baby for months, we know we are sufficeintly mature enough. He has an evening job which earns a good amount. what i would like to know is.. if you are a hard working person, is it ...
A. 5 March 2010: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/struggling-to-cope-.html
Read this question - gives an idea of what could happen.
Tiger
x... (read in full...)
I am 16 and want to go to college and have a baby!
Q. I am 16 and my boyfriend and i have been talking about having a baby for months, we know we are sufficeintly mature enough. He has an evening job which earns a good amount. what i would like to know is.. if you are a hard working person, is it ...
A. 4 March 2010: Short answer, no, at 16, having a baby and going to college really would not work. It doesnt matter how hard working you are, pregnancy takes its toll on even the most academic and dedicated of people.
You would not be able to put in all the requ... (read in full...)
I am just imagining I'm pregnant???
Q. I have just turned 15 and I had sex for the first time about 3 weeks ago, we used a condom and were safe and we checked that it didnt tear or anything but i was so worried about being pregnant. We had sex a couple of days after my period had ended ...
A. 4 March 2010: Ok, from what you have said, it sounds like you are just getting yourself into a state over this. If you are unsure, then take a test. If you were careful, and took precautions, then you should be ok, but I worry that this is a symptom of you not ... (read in full...)
I like this online guy I'm dating but he still gets on the dating site.
Q. I have met a lovely guy through a dating website. We have been involved for about 6 weeks. Being in contact every day and meeting up over the weekends. This weekend we spent the whole weekend together and we have a sexual relationship. He is ...
A. 2 March 2010: I would say be careful.
There are a lot of guys who go on dating sites and they like to "browse". You have been "dating" for 6 weeks, which really isnt a long period of time, and you don't know how many other women he approached, or has been tal... (read in full...)
Birth control issues!
Q. Hi All- I can't find a good answer to my particular situation anywhere, so I figured I would try here. I am having some birth control issues. I have switched between several brands over the past year and I cannot seem to keep my periods regular....
A. 1 March 2010: This is something you need to talk to your doctor about.
The brown discharge sounds like breakthrough bleeding which is perfectly normal on the pill, but if its becoming more regular, you should get it checked out.
Most women dont find the rig... (read in full...)
Is it ok that I have protected sex with people when I am not in a relationship?
Q. im currently single so im just having fun, but do u think its ok that i have protected sex with people? the only reason i ask is because my friends say im dirty but i dont have one night stands after a night out, i know the people i have sex with....
A. 27 February 2010: A one night stand, is a one night stand regardless of if it is a stranger or someone you have known for years. If it is only sex, and only for odd occasions, it makes no difference. Sleeping around with multiple men is just that, doesnt matter if ... (read in full...)
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