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Can you love someone if you've cheated on them?

Tagged as: Cheating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 April 2008) 10 Answers - (Newest, 29 May 2008)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Can you love someone if you've cheated on them??? Will the relationship work out??? Well see I cheated on my newest boyfriend with my ex-boyfriend.I'm in love with my ex but i love my boyfriend.He's the best thing boyfriend I've had in like forever.I really like the guys I'm with.I don't want to lose him what should I do?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008):

Well, i think you can love someone you cheated on. but you have to realize what you did. and know you will not do it again. and also cut the person you cheated on out of your life unless you are going to be with him. How do you feel when your with your guy? How do you feel when you were with the other guy?

Maybe there was something lacking in your relationship and you needed to fullfill the need, talk about this with your boyfriend and make sure this never happens again. I wouldnt say you cannot love someone you cheated on.. something was lacking.

This situation just happened to me. but not with an ex.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008):

Yes you can still love someone after cheating on them.

Just ask yourself why did you cheat? You were missing something from your relationship, right? Were you missing attention like nice words, hugs, talking? Were you missing sex? Every relationship dies down. Your partner figures he or she is mine so why should I put the extra effort. Why should I say nice things like hey you look beautiful today or buy flowers or a card. Your partner needs a wake up call. You must never forget your partner's feelings. Love, attention and affection goes both ways. You probably regreted what you did and realized you truly love your partner. But your partner must know why you cheated what he or she wasnt giving you that you needed to stray. It's hard I know, we are only human, and all of us are looking for the same things. To be loved, adored, cherished and cared for. KNOWING SOMEONE LOVES YOU IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH IT MUST BE SHOWN, EXPRESSED and FELT.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (10 April 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntIf you don't want others to do unto you ,

then you should not do unto others.

This rule will help you decide what is right from wrong.

Try to think how you would feel if you are in the other's shoe.

Everyone make mistakes.

Only fools repeat them.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008):

You need to take time out and have some time on your own until you know in your own head who you really want to be with!!!

Its not fair on your current boyf or your ex at the moment the way you are carrying on at the moment!

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A female reader, angelina-katey United States +, writes (10 April 2008):

angelina-katey agony aunthow u can luv somebody u cheat. would u like if he would do the same to u ? i guess no

just think about it .

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008):

No you can't. I've been a serial cheated my entire life. Now I'm with my boyfriend that I deeply love. I've had plenty of opporunities to cheat on him but I just can't do it. I love this man too much to stuff anything up or to hurt him so i wouldn't dare get myself into any form of a compromising position. You don't love someone you cheat on.

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A female reader, Deema United Kingdom +, writes (10 April 2008):

Deema agony auntOooh I wish you could answer that one for me!!!! I'm in the other persons shoes. My husband has been playing on the internet, giving out his phone number and receiving texts from different girls, to which he responded and then went on line and had whatever communication with them. I know he loves me, and I love him too, but I just cannot understand this need of his. He says its not real, just fantasy and cyber sex. Still feels the same to me, because I feel when phone numbers are given out its getting personal. So tell me, why did you cheat? What did you want from it? What did you gain from it? What did you lose from it? Was it worth it? He's lost everything - home, business, car, wife, and for what? Question you have to ask is what your cheating did to the other person. Did you really respect them when you were cheating? Would you respect them if they took you back? Is it just better the devil you know - its safe, so you'll go back there till something better comes along? Really I don't know. I know this is very very hard for me. He wants to come back and prove how much he loves me, and that now he knows its wrong he'll never do it again. But the trust has gone. How can he prove he loves me when all that was going on behind my back? He says it wasn't current, that he got bored with it and stopped a few months ago, which in part is true because the internet was down, but how do I know he won't go back to it? So many questions in my mind. Don't want this torture any more. Love to hear from you. You can really help me. Best wishes.

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A female reader, Butterflyfly United Kingdom +, writes (10 April 2008):

Butterflyfly agony auntNot judging you in any way but i personally dont think it's love for them you feel i think it's more like your need to be loved and wanted by them. try to put yourself in their shoes, if you can. Would you be happy with that kind of messy 'love' being given to you? Maybe letting go of both of them will help you understand what you truly want and can give in a relationship. All the best.

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A female reader, yoginipirate United States +, writes (10 April 2008):

yoginipirate agony auntJust date who you want & stop agreeing to see people exclusively. Noone owns you- you have the right to see who you want, but decency requires that you be upfront about it though & not pretend like you're exclusive. Also, you're such a young woman. Of course you can love more than one person at a time. Stop messing around, be more honest, date who you want. Just don't marry anyone any time soon & use condoms. For real.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008):

So you didn't love him at the time you cheated on him? What has changed?

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