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... Send *ruce lee a private message | | | *ruce lee's profile:i am not really qualified to help people but I like to give advice. if anyone wants to send me a private message, feel free. not many people know where to find the right advice when they are going through a hard emotional time. when we feel inside us that something is not right, we must reach out and talk about it with someone.
the yin and yang symbol represents my even-handed approach to situations. there is good and bad in everything. that's the way i look at it.
no-one in this world is going to back you up if you have a big argument with someone, whether you're in the right or the wrong. so being right is not always important. getting your own way is what counts.
and at the end of the day, nothing in life is certain. whether that's good or bad, it's just the way it is i guess. we live in the present moment. We do not dwell on past regrets and we don't worry about future concerns. a good marriage is a lot like a novel. it is fun.
but a bad marriage is like a prison. it is terrible. and i have been in prison many times before. adios |
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| Latest articles: Sensitive new age guy vs Cocky and Arrogant
This question has 16 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 April 2010: Do women like men who are a bit cocky and arrogant? Or do they prefer snesitive new age guys? Some women, I've heard, like men who exude confidence. Is this a dumb question? Help me out here. I want to get women on side, so they stop pulling faces ...
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Sensitive new age guy vs Cocky and Arrogant
Q. Do women like men who are a bit cocky and arrogant? Or do they prefer snesitive new age guys? Some women, I've heard, like men who exude confidence. Is this a dumb question? Help me out here. I want to get women on side, so they stop pulling faces ...
A. 8 May 2010: Lola is right. All I do is sit back and blame others. But it's not that simple.
I have man boobs and Asperger's Syndrome and all sorts of other problems with my life (mostly mental problems).
My Aunty who died of cancer recently was con... (read in full...)
How do I stop people bullying me?
Q. I understand that no-one is perfect, but I have experienced so much bullying in my life that I am starting to lose trust in people. Wherever I go, I am being targeted by bullies for no reason. I don't know if it has anything to do with my Asperger's ...
A. 7 May 2010: Well, there was a bully at school in Year 10 who I got into a fight with. I beat him up pretty bad, and I was suspened for a day.
What did I learn from that? That God should have come to my rescue but he didn't. I had to fight the enemy alon... (read in full...)
How do I stop people bullying me?
Q. I understand that no-one is perfect, but I have experienced so much bullying in my life that I am starting to lose trust in people. Wherever I go, I am being targeted by bullies for no reason. I don't know if it has anything to do with my Asperger's ...
A. 6 May 2010: The thing about bullies is they are like the Devil. They have convinced the world that they do not exist, or that they don't cause harm. But they do. I hate them. They destroy people's lives.
Keating always said, "I don't believe in God. But ... (read in full...)
How do I stop people bullying me?
Q. I understand that no-one is perfect, but I have experienced so much bullying in my life that I am starting to lose trust in people. Wherever I go, I am being targeted by bullies for no reason. I don't know if it has anything to do with my Asperger's ...
A. 6 May 2010: Look, I don't want to talk about it anymore. It is late now in Australia, and I have to go to sleep. Take care all of you, and God bless.... (read in full...)
How do I stop people bullying me?
Q. I understand that no-one is perfect, but I have experienced so much bullying in my life that I am starting to lose trust in people. Wherever I go, I am being targeted by bullies for no reason. I don't know if it has anything to do with my Asperger's ...
A. 6 May 2010: There are many different degrees of bullying. Sometimes, it is more serious than other times. But bullies always have friends with them because they are cowards. They don't have the guts to bully people when they are by themselves. They are like ... (read in full...)
Its very important to be a virgin and I'm not one anymore
Q. I'm 16 years old and I have been in a realtionship with my boyfriend for a year and half now and we had sex and when we did it i was a virgin... I lost my virginity with him.. we were really in love but now things are not the same that we have very ...
A. 6 May 2010: Everyday we all make mistakes. I have made plenty of mistakes in my life. I am not a woman, so I don't know if I can give suitable advice. But you will just have to move on somehow. We live, we make mistakes, we suffer, we die. It's the human c... (read in full...)
How can I get over the fact that my husband lied to me about being a virgin all those years ago?
Q. When I met my husband over 30 years ago he told me that he was a virgin (as was I). However, recently, and during a difficult patch in our marriage he confessed that this was a lie. This has upset me terribly, and to make it worse he says that it ...
A. 6 May 2010: I just want to add that not many people in the world are entirely satisfied with how their lives have turned out. So this is not uncommon, what you are going through. It's just called "bad luck" or "unfortunate." Your husband might owe you an ... (read in full...)
How can I get over the fact that my husband lied to me about being a virgin all those years ago?
Q. When I met my husband over 30 years ago he told me that he was a virgin (as was I). However, recently, and during a difficult patch in our marriage he confessed that this was a lie. This has upset me terribly, and to make it worse he says that it ...
A. 5 May 2010: People rarely say what's on their minds. They just tell you what you want to hear. Or they lie because they want to avoid arguments. I read that somewhere.
That said, I wouldn't worry about it too much. All this talk about virginity and purity i... (read in full...)
How do I stop believing that everyone in the world is against me?
Q. For years, I have wondered if everyone is part of a conspiracy to give me a bad life. Now, I don't think that way very often. But occasioanlly, I wonder if I am being persecuted by the female race. I have thought in the past that the world owed ...
A. 5 May 2010: I have most of those Asperger traits but I definetely don't try to take over conversations by doing all the talking and not caring what the other person says.
I have a flat voice, I don't make much eye contact, I have weird body movement... (read in full...)
Am I asexual?
Q. This might be a weird question, but I have never had an orgasm. I don't even enjoy sex. I'm 20 and I have been with four men; I have never even enjoy having sex and it is making me frustrated. is there some thing wrong with me? What can I do to ...
A. 5 May 2010: The realistic approach to this question is for you to give yourself time to figure it all out. It can take time to figure out what sexuality-type you belong to. By the way, can someone clarify what asexual means?
Doesn't that mean that one has ... (read in full...)
Sensitive new age guy vs Cocky and Arrogant
Q. Do women like men who are a bit cocky and arrogant? Or do they prefer snesitive new age guys? Some women, I've heard, like men who exude confidence. Is this a dumb question? Help me out here. I want to get women on side, so they stop pulling faces ...
A. 5 May 2010: Well, I guess I will always be one of those people who blames others. Sorry. I'd better stop it. I admit you've all done your best. I just get frustrated because I'm on dial-up internet and it's not that good.
I don't want to be a crude pers... (read in full...)
My teacher kissed me like I've never been kissed before
Q. HELPHELPHELPHELP!!! That is like the 3 time i write here about the sama teacher,, ! last time wrote that he kissed me and i think i kissed back (i had a black out for a moment, don't remember anyrhing for like 15 seconds!),and yeserday he came to ...
A. 5 May 2010: Sounds like you need to give him a warning. Say something like "You should not be doing this, and if it continues I'll go to the Headmaster."
Tisha-1 is right. You must start listening to us. But I agree that you don't need to get the poli... (read in full...)
Sensitive new age guy vs Cocky and Arrogant
Q. Do women like men who are a bit cocky and arrogant? Or do they prefer snesitive new age guys? Some women, I've heard, like men who exude confidence. Is this a dumb question? Help me out here. I want to get women on side, so they stop pulling faces ...
A. 4 May 2010: What if I like feeling miserable? What if I don't want to be happy, or I don't care if I don't have a girlfriend? What then?
Oh well, God helps those who help themselves.
That's the kind of crap I've been listening to for the last ten year... (read in full...)
What can I do to help my sister in her unhappy marriage?
Q. Hi, i sincerely need your help. Its concerning my eldest sister, she's been married for almost 2years now, but marriage for her has been hell. On several occasions due to quarrels, he throws her belongings outside and changes the locks of the house, ...
A. 4 May 2010: I agree with honeygirl. Your sister should see a Lawyer if she needs advice. A lot of people in the world are not happy with how their lives have turned out. Take me for instance.
But getting back to your sister, maybe she should get the divo... (read in full...)
How do I initiate oral sex? I've never tried it before
Q. I love my boyfriend very much, and we've been dating for quite a few months. He's given me pleasure (not sex, Im a virgin) and while he's had oral sex with another girl before, I've never given it or recieved it before him. I still havent given it, ...
A. 4 May 2010: I think the main thing is that if you want to do this, you make him wear a condom. You don't want to risk catching anything.
Then just say to him something like "What to you think about oral sex?"
That should get the conversation going. I... (read in full...)
Men please HELP me!
Q. So for every woman,the universal face of charming, is george clooney. Men that are "smooth" seem to wisk us away and make us go head over heals. For men, who is that? What is smooth for men? what qualities to men find charming in a woman? What ...
A. 4 May 2010: I think women have to be three things...Sexy, smart, and kind.
Simple as that. But I would like to ask a question...Why are you asking us this?
Is there some reason behind this question?
There are women out there who have all these th... (read in full...)
How do I explain to a woman that I don't want to have kids?
Q. I had a vasectomy years ago, and to be honest, I'm quite happy with the decision. I definetely don't want to have kids EVER. But how do I explain this to a woman if I ever find one. Will she hate me? Will she immediately leave? How should I...
A. 4 May 2010: The main reason I don't wish to have kids is based on a promise I made to myself when I was young. That if I didn't find a girlfriend within a certain time period, I had been treated unfairly by God. So maybe it is for my own selfish reasons. ... (read in full...)
Girls and sexual peak
Q. Why can't women reach their sexual heith at 18 like guys instead of 40! I hate it! (Im a virgin.)...
A. 3 May 2010: Are you saying you want the women/girls to have it off with you? If that's what you're saying, that's a normal feeling. Just remember with women, it's ALWAYS the inner beauty that counts. Try to find a women with inner beauty. Everythi... (read in full...)
How do I explain to a woman that I don't want to have kids?
Q. I had a vasectomy years ago, and to be honest, I'm quite happy with the decision. I definetely don't want to have kids EVER. But how do I explain this to a woman if I ever find one. Will she hate me? Will she immediately leave? How should I...
A. 3 May 2010: Yeah, I know I should tell her as soon as possible to let her know where she stands. And the anonymous female reader seems to have hit the nail on the head. I must just TELL HER.
Life goes on, and the truth comes out eventually. And the trut... (read in full...)
To take risks with finding a girlfriend, or not to take risks?
Q. *OP's own title* I happen to know someone who blames other people that he can't get a girlfriend. He whines that he wishes he'd never been born. He lost his virginity to a prostitute. He says he is a good guy and that he can't understand why the ...
A. 3 May 2010: "It's a well-known fact that ever since the beginning of time, good things don't always happen to nice people. I guess I'm just another one of those examples."
That's a quote from a Bible passage.
But thanks for the advice. I'll have to ... (read in full...)
2 girls..I like them both and I'm confused!
Q. i have a girlfriend and we have been out for coming up two years. i am still at school and just about to leave for college, and we're both going our different ways. but recently i have taken an interest to another girl who i have liked for a few ...
A. 1 May 2010: Well, you WILL have to choose. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Whether you stay with your current girlfriend, or you pick the other girl, remember that you will be left with some sort of regrets. You're damned if you do, and you'... (read in full...)
How do I become more grateful?
Q. I don't want to turn into a doormat for other people but I have a question about gratitude. How do I become more grateful for things in life? Usually, we all feel better when we appreciate things. But sometimes, if you are too nice or show too ...
A. 1 May 2010: Well, I must show some gratitude here because I think Cindy put a fair amount of thought into her reply. It is true that if we are too nice, we can attract certain predators into our lives. I call them leeches. They suck up all the blood and time ... (read in full...)
Why after 8 years do I feel jealous that my wife has dated a black man?
Q. my wife of 2 yrs (together for 8 years), had mentioned casually that she dated a black guy in colllege. Now i feel like Im not good enough to satisfy her beause he was so much bigger. She also has dated a lot mofe guys than me and it makes me ...
A. 1 May 2010: It is actually bordering racism, what you have asked us. I would appreciate it if the USA government did something about the racist problems in it's own country, rather than looking at Australia and accusing us of being racist.
Forgive me if I... (read in full...)
Why cant he just be happy with kissing me?
Q. I seem to have a bit of a problem with a guy, everytime we get together and kiss he always asks me to give him a blow job, the thing is we have just started kissing, it's really starting to annoy me because I like him a lot and I have said to him ...
A. 1 May 2010: Er...You only have 4 options here. Either you do what he asks all the time, or dump him, tell him that you won't to that, or reach some sort of compromise.
It's an awkward situation. I don't want to tell you what to do but I have been with... (read in full...)
How can I stop feeling so sorry for myself?
Q. I have to be honest and tell you all some pretty shocking things about myself. I have a self-pity complex. I often walk laps of the local lake and wonder what could have been. I live in the past. My quesion is...How can I stop feeling sorry for ...
A. 29 April 2010: Yes, you are all right. Today is the day I get over it. I have to snap out of it and accept that life can be unfair for everyone.
Thank you all of you for your help. I have to do what Queen Katie says...Have small goals, short-term goals that... (read in full...)
Sensitive new age guy vs Cocky and Arrogant
Q. Do women like men who are a bit cocky and arrogant? Or do they prefer snesitive new age guys? Some women, I've heard, like men who exude confidence. Is this a dumb question? Help me out here. I want to get women on side, so they stop pulling faces ...
A. 29 April 2010: I don't often tell people that I have Asperger's Syndrome because I hardly ever talk to people. People sometimes freak me out, especially some of the guys on these websites. Some guy on one of the sites seriously stated that he "thought he was ... (read in full...)
First Date Nerves.
Q. I need your help! I'm finally going on my first date this week. And i'm really scared. Scared of being really shy and have nothing to say. And what if he thinks i'm boring? :O We've already talked once in real life(for like 1 min, that's how we ...
A. 29 April 2010: Allow me to answer this...You have several options here. You can either just be yourself, or you can pretend to be something you're not, or you can have a beer to calm yourself down before it, or you can cancel the date.
If you choose to be y... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has issues with my nude modelling.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months and were friends prior to that for approximately 2 years. When we first met, I was a fine art model. I posed nude for photographers and artists. This wasn't a problem until he started to care ...
A. 29 April 2010: There's an old Russian saying...When a man loves a woman, he can be quite jealous if another man so much as looks at her.
Tell him to stop making you feel guilty, and to get a life. He sounds like a bit of a geek. Sorry but he needs to grow... (read in full...)
Sensitive new age guy vs Cocky and Arrogant
Q. Do women like men who are a bit cocky and arrogant? Or do they prefer snesitive new age guys? Some women, I've heard, like men who exude confidence. Is this a dumb question? Help me out here. I want to get women on side, so they stop pulling faces ...
A. 29 April 2010: Well, I appreciate the recent answer about saying nice things to women. But I can't do that because no matter what I say to people, they turn against me. I have no friends whatsoever.
But to clarify the question...I want to know if women like... (read in full...)
It feels like our relationship has gone backwards not forwards!
Q. me and my partner (also my sons father and father to the child im presently carrying) have recently broke up, after a cupple of days we realised we wanted to be together but the problem is, is the fact he wants to saty in his own house and not our ...
A. 29 April 2010: This sounds like an awkward situation. Many people in the world are a bit unreasonable (like your partner) and never feel the need to compromise.
Maybe you can ask him if he is willing to stay at the family home for 3 nights a week. If he won'... (read in full...)
What does one do to accept a relationship is over?
Q. Just wanting to know how people accept when a relationship is over because one person has commited numerous hurts to the other and no matter what they did, the relationship could never be happy 100% because of the outcomes of the betrayal.. How do ...
A. 28 April 2010: There is an old Chilean saying... Don't choose battles you can't win...
How does this apply to what you are asking? Well, staying with this guy would be a battle you can't win. It sounds like he is causing you a lot of pain.
Choose b... (read in full...)
Sensitive new age guy vs Cocky and Arrogant
Q. Do women like men who are a bit cocky and arrogant? Or do they prefer snesitive new age guys? Some women, I've heard, like men who exude confidence. Is this a dumb question? Help me out here. I want to get women on side, so they stop pulling faces ...
A. 28 April 2010: My IQ score was 99 when they did a test at the Monash Medical Centre and I passed high school. That is the level of my education. As Tisha-1 said...I have problems that will impact on how women react to me. I am also a real loser. And I was in ... (read in full...)
She told me she needs at least 6"
Q. Huge problem. I have small penis 4in when fully react. I had two previous girlfriends tell mr when can't feel anything it's too small. I know the foreplay part but doesn't work. Now I been with a sweet girl for 6 months she say im her everything. ...
A. 27 April 2010: Oh well, at least you're more mature than her. Maturity is an important virtue. Women laugh at me for all sorts of reasons including very personal information I tell them. I had to have a mastectomy because I had hormone problems and grew bre... (read in full...)
Inexperienced and come too quick.. is this a problem?
Q. I'm 17 and have only just got my first proper girlfriend, and until recently, sorry to be crude, have never been jerked off by a girl before. So my girlfriend has jerked me off three times, and after rubbing my penis either over my underwear, or...
A. 27 April 2010: No, it's not a major problem. I've got worse things than that happening in my life at the moment. I have a friend who nags the crap out of me. I know that has nothing to do with premature ejaculation but I just thought it was worth mentioning.
... (read in full...)
Why don't guys text you back?
Q. This will possibly amuse most of you but im asking one of the most common questions in history.. WHY dont guys text back?? and even when they do 30% of the time its atriaght away 70% of the time it can be hours later. Thye even do it to girls ...
A. 27 April 2010: I guess it's too time consuming and quite boring. Also, SMSs can be misread sometimes and then it can lead to arguments. Sometimes, you can send someone a nice SMS and then they think you're having a go at them. But that's just my opinion. ... (read in full...)
In love and hurting - should I tell him how I feel?
Q. I'm 17 and as dramatic and cliché as is sounds, I love someone. He is dating somebody else and they aren't really serious, but all the same, I'm pretty sure he doesnt like me. In four months I will leave for university so I want to tell him how I ...
A. 27 April 2010: You have to do this. Take the risk. Trap him in a corner somewhere and romantically tell him how you feel. Good luck at university. Can you let us all know what you're going to study? Remember, most men love being approached by women. He won't... (read in full...)
Is he being honest with me?
Q. We have been together for a month and everything was going great, he kept saying how lucky he was to have me. Then out of nowhere, he said that we rushed it and he’s busy with his job and studies right now, seeing each other once a week simply isnt ...
A. 26 April 2010: Sounds like you need to have a face-to-face chat with him. Ask a few simple questions. Like, do you love me? Or, where is this relationship headed?
Not much else you can do here. Good luck though.
A lot of guys worry about their studies ... (read in full...)
Should I ask out my hair stylist?
Q. Hi guys. I happen to have a huge crush on my hair stylist (no, he is not gay) and I REALLY need some help. He and I talk a lot everytime I go there and have become sort of friends, or at least that's how I see it. The last time I went there we st...
A. 26 April 2010: I'm not going to read the whole thing. This is a VERY long question. But...I think you should not ask him out unless he gives some VERY obvious signs that he is attracted to you. You wouldn't want to make a fool out of yourself, would you?
By... (read in full...)
I want to be as far away from my parents as possible!
Q. My parents were fighting a lot and just not being good parents and not spend a lot of time with me when i was a kid. And i was thinking about it i just dont like them at all i got no desire talking to them or spending time with them and when i m ...
A. 26 April 2010: You sound kind of down. Take a holiday somewhere for a few days and get away from the situation. You need time to think about it all.
But I guess you have to do what you think is right at the time. And it's a question of what you're will... (read in full...)
Will he think I am bad in bed because I am a virgin?
Q. I'm 20 years old and still a virgin. A bit lame I know but I've been waiting for the right person. Recently I've started kind of seeing a man i think might be the right person, the only problem is i really dont want to tell him i'm a virgin or ...
A. 25 April 2010: Hmmmm. This is a weird situation. Maybe you should be honest with yourself, and ask the obvious question...Do I really love this guy? If the answer is yes, I wouldn't worry too much about the virgin issue. It's not such a big deal. I was a vi... (read in full...)
Should I be direct? Or not so direct?
Q. When I ask a woman out in the future, should I use plain language or fancy language? Is it best to be direct, and simply say "Do you want to go out with me on a date?" Or can it make things awkward if I am too direct? What is the best way ...
A. 24 April 2010: Well, there are some really good answers here but it's not going to bring me closer to meeting a nice lady. As someone said if they don't like you, they won't go out with you no matter what you say.
But some guy said in the movie The Shaw... (read in full...)
Girlfriend has stopped giving oral...
Q. Hi Ive been with my girlfriend 2 years now, things are good and we are planning to move in together in the next few weeks. In the bedroom though i have a real issue, oral. At the start, she gave oral regularly (2 or 3 times a week) and sa...
A. 23 April 2010: Oh well, at least you've got a girlfriend. Don't be too selfish. Maybe you can pray to God for help. He might put a message inside her head that that's what you want without you having to mention it at all.... (read in full...)
Fed up with life - and I'm only 16
Q. I'm so sick of my life, I'm 16 and it's Friday night and I'm sat inside which is what I'll be doing all weekend. How can I gain confidence to get myself out there? I feel like I'm missing out on so much and feel there's nothing I can do about it....
A. 23 April 2010: Why don't you buy a can of beer somewhere and drink it? Just get your dad to buy it for you. If that sounds like a boring idea, go for a walk around the block and feel sorry for yourself. Sometimes, it's good to indulge in self-pity.
When I wa... (read in full...)
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