A
male
age
41-50,
bruce lee
writes:Do women like men who are a bit cocky and arrogant? Or do they prefer snesitive new age guys? Some women, I've heard, like men who exude confidence. Is this a dumb question? Help me out here. I want to get women on side, so they stop pulling faces at me. No-one wants enemies.
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female
reader, prodigal0x  +, writes (14 May 2010):
completely depends on the woman. personally i love a man to be overly confident. arrogance is sexy to me. i have friends however who hate it and love shy guys. :)
A
male
reader, bruce lee +, writes (8 May 2010):
bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the question Lola is right. All I do is sit back and blame others. But it's not that simple.
I have man boobs and Asperger's Syndrome and all sorts of other problems with my life (mostly mental problems).
My Aunty who died of cancer recently was concerned about my state of mind. She said I had been brought up twisted by my dad. I guess we are all eccentric in some way. But there is a difference between being eccentric and being twisted.
I choose to be eccentric but I don't want to be twisted. I am going to turn over a new leaf (if that's the correct expression).
I have a good Psychologist at the moment who challenges me on certain issues. Thanks lola for your help.
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A
female
reader, _lola_  +, writes (8 May 2010):
 Sorry mate blame all you want, won't make a damn bit of difference if all you want to do is sit and blame, 'cause that's all you'll end up doing.
Okay so you want to know what women want?
First of all I'm a member of the fairer species and I still don't know WTF I want! So don't feel bewildered by being ignorant to it!
All women want massively different things so you can't just have a universal strategy and most importantly we can smell a fraud at least 500 foot!
The only way I can see you having an free ticket with women in general is that you incorporate a little of all, so you now have to be a sweet, sensitive, intelligent, quirky, slow, hot, cute, sexy, macho, funny, cute guy!
Not exactly a lot to ask is it? lol
The only problem is the aspergers right?
From what I understand that's when you can't pick up on subtleties? That could be a slight set back! But you've got to work the numbers!
You're in Oz right?
How many young, free and single backpackers are there heading through your town right now? I know plenty of Paddys Sheilas that are right now!
You got to fake it to make it!
fair enough you've aspergers but so what? Are you going to let that define your life? Get a friend, someone you trust, to help you practice some kind of chat up lines and general conversation or banter, I'm sorry if this is insulting but I work with a guy with aspergers and there's really something quite scary about the way he holds himself, so I mean check out your facial expression when these girls are pulling faces at you,
I'm sorry if I sound harsh but I just can't stand apathy in someone who has passion and has potential!
Just go and kept at it, it's much worse to regret things you haven't done or tried, you always forget the poxy stupid stuff you've done and learn to laugh at them, but the stuff that you never tried kind of haunts you
best of luck xxx
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A
male
reader, bruce lee +, writes (5 May 2010):
bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well, I guess I will always be one of those people who blames others. Sorry. I'd better stop it. I admit you've all done your best. I just get frustrated because I'm on dial-up internet and it's not that good.
I don't want to be a crude person anymore.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2010): I'm a bit confused by what you said in your last comment. If you like feeling unhappy, don't want to be happy, and don't care if you don't have a girlfriend, then that is fine. But the fact that you have submitted this article, asking for help, makes me wonder why you have asked for help if that is really the case.
I guess all we can really do on here is offer suggestions based on what we know, the knowledge we have, and in response to what you have asked people to help you with. It may not be right for you, and it may not be helpful to you. But people are just trying to help, even if what we say is not having that effect. But if you are happy as you are, that is completely fine. And if I got what you were asking wrong when I responded, I apologise for that. Take care.
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A
male
reader, bruce lee +, writes (4 May 2010):
bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the question What if I like feeling miserable? What if I don't want to be happy, or I don't care if I don't have a girlfriend? What then?
Oh well, God helps those who help themselves.
That's the kind of crap I've been listening to for the last ten years. No-one has got anything original to say. All people have to say is that life goes on, and shit happens, and then it hits the fan.
Give me some new information or advice please.
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A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (3 May 2010):
 I'll tell you three things to do and if you follow through, you will get a gf.
1. Be patient, get to know a couple of girls as just friends first.
2. Think about how they feel around you and how you can make them more comfortable. Try to smile more and laugh a bit
3. Dont be judmental. What that guy wrote was ment as a joke.
Bet you dont do them though, Ive now responded to 3 posts from you Bruce and I dont see any progress from your end.
And thats the problem: You. Simply you are sabotaging yourself, all this "im a looser" nonsense. You are what you make yourself dude and every time you say that you make it real.
Its hard I know, but if you really want to have girls in your life then you need to stop felling bad all the time. Women like to have fun and to laugh... can they do that with you?
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A
female
reader, goowes  +, writes (1 May 2010):
 Strong and sensitive. Manley but in touch with your feminine side. A man not afraid to stand against the order of men and be uneffected, able to manage their anger, money and no issues drugs etc. Doesn't beat or dishonor women and can lead a woman without making her less than equal. Values their opinion and deals with their talking and feeling as much as possible. No cheaters, liers(men do naturally without malice alot but girls don't realize that a problem in inself). A protector that is funny and reliable. Don't have to be superstar model but must work hard in bed lol
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2010): In response to your question of whether women like guys who are very confident, or who are shy and sensitive, I don't think there is one answer to that. Different women will like different things in a guy, it will vary greatly. One approach may not work with every woman.
When you asked that girl out and she seemed scared off, I can't really comment on that as I don't know exactly what happened. But I think it was great that you asked her. From what you have said, interacting with people can be very difficult for you, so that took a lot of courage. Even if it didn't go as you had hoped, you will have got some experience from it, and the more you keep trying to interact with people and get to know them, hopefully the easier it will get. I don't have Asperger's, but I do find it hard to be around people, so I know how unsettling it can be. But not everybody is nasty, or will want to hurt you. There are some nice people out there.
It may be that the right lady just hasn't come along yet. So I don't think it will matter whether you are confident or shy...as long as you are yourself. There will be someone out there who will see you and appreciate you for who you are. I hope something here has helped. x
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (29 April 2010):
 It might help to stick to one topic when you do talk to people. Just a suggestion. :D
Have a good day!
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A
male
reader, bruce lee +, writes (29 April 2010):
bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the question I don't often tell people that I have Asperger's Syndrome because I hardly ever talk to people. People sometimes freak me out, especially some of the guys on these websites. Some guy on one of the sites seriously stated that he "thought he was entitled to perform anal sex on his girlfriend."
So therefore, I tend to keep quiet around people. I find a lot of people whether male or female to be peculiar.
No-one is "entitled" to perform anal sex on anyone. Sorry for completely changing the subject but it almost made me feel sick when I read what he was saying.
Where was I?
Oh yeah, the Asperger issue. I will think about the whole thing, whether I should mention it to people before they turn against me. By the way, my dad is really starting to irritate me. I blame him for me having no confidence. He can be a real nagger. Nagging can knock people's confidence.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (29 April 2010):
Do you tell people you have Asperger's first? Lots of people don't know much about it, like me, and if they know that in advance you have a chance of explaining things before "they turn against" you. People don't know how to handle people who seem different.
Can you manage a combination of confidence, not arrogant, nice, not wimpy?
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A
male
reader, bruce lee +, writes (29 April 2010):
bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well, I appreciate the recent answer about saying nice things to women. But I can't do that because no matter what I say to people, they turn against me. I have no friends whatsoever.
But to clarify the question...I want to know if women like men who are extremely confident or men who are a bit shy or sensitive?
I once asked a beautiful girl out on a date and I was so nervous that I scared her off. So I guess you have to have "some" confidence.
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A
female
reader, shortone1 +, writes (29 April 2010):
 im not quite sure what ur trying to ask but the type of man i perfer is one who is taking me out doing romantic things for me maybe even one who gives me money just because they love me. complementing me on my looks or even the outfit (your so hot in that) ur always so cute no matter what. just saying nice things. I think a man that is nice not arrogant because that makes him iresponsible. women want responsable men, grown, well knowledged, smart.athletic, built, well groomed,.
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A
male
reader, bruce lee +, writes (28 April 2010):
bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the question My IQ score was 99 when they did a test at the Monash Medical Centre and I passed high school. That is the level of my education. As Tisha-1 said...I have problems that will impact on how women react to me. I am also a real loser. And I was in trouble with the police years ago.
I hang out with my dad a lot. And I enjoy writing books. I have a few tattoos but no-one ever gets to see them because I never take my shirt off due to the gynaecomastia.
I enjoy writing stories about crime even though they are ordinary. I hope this is all enough information for a better answer to this question.
I have never had a girlfriend before and I have a Psychologist who insults me over this, saying that I don't really deserve one. My ideal relationship with a woman is someone who is not frigid and not nasty natured. Is that too much to ask?
But anyway, I hope you all enjoy the day. Thanks for your help both of you.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (27 April 2010):
These kinds of questions are impossible to answer because they assume that ALL women like the same things. Look, there is just as much variation in women as there is in men. Some like professional wrestlers, some like engineers, some like men in uniform, some like musicians, some like computer geeks.
If you're asking because you are going to try out a certain approach based on the answers to this question, you're not going to do very well, because you will be putting on an act. We women may like different things, but generally, we get a sense when someone is being a phony, or pretending to be something he is not. THAT is off-putting.
Bruce, I've seen bits and pieces of your story here on the site. You have Asperger's, which will affect your social interactions with people. You've had gynecomastia and underwent a procedure to correct that. I expect there ae other things out there that might impact how women would react to you. I think your best bet would be to list for us the things that set you apart from the herd as an individual. What do you like to do? What are your interests? Who are your friends and what do they like to do? Who do you hang out with? What is your educational background? What are you looking for in a woman? What do you see a your ideal relationship? This kind of information is what we'd need to know in order to help you take the next steps to meeting someone suitable for you.
What have you tried in the past and how has that worked for you?
Is your sole purpose to interact with women in a way that they don't "pull faces at you", i.e. think you are strange?
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