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... Send *ruce lee a private message | | | *ruce lee's profile:i am not really qualified to help people but I like to give advice. if anyone wants to send me a private message, feel free. not many people know where to find the right advice when they are going through a hard emotional time. when we feel inside us that something is not right, we must reach out and talk about it with someone.
the yin and yang symbol represents my even-handed approach to situations. there is good and bad in everything. that's the way i look at it.
no-one in this world is going to back you up if you have a big argument with someone, whether you're in the right or the wrong. so being right is not always important. getting your own way is what counts.
and at the end of the day, nothing in life is certain. whether that's good or bad, it's just the way it is i guess. we live in the present moment. We do not dwell on past regrets and we don't worry about future concerns. a good marriage is a lot like a novel. it is fun.
but a bad marriage is like a prison. it is terrible. and i have been in prison many times before. adios |
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| Latest articles: Sensitive new age guy vs Cocky and Arrogant
This question has 16 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 April 2010: Do women like men who are a bit cocky and arrogant? Or do they prefer snesitive new age guys? Some women, I've heard, like men who exude confidence. Is this a dumb question? Help me out here. I want to get women on side, so they stop pulling faces ...
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What keeps people in marriages when they are no longer in love?
Q. When you have been married to your husband for 35 years and are no longer IN LOVE with him but Love him as a person, is it possible to continue to stay married? What is it that actually makes a person stay in a marriage where you are NOT IN LOVE ...
A. 20 February 2012: That's a good question. Maybe you should tell him what you think. Why would you want to hold something like that in? That's a terrible thing to carry inside. Get it out in the open and see what he reckons. He'll give you a good answer.... (read in full...)
I am trying to help a girl, but I don't know where I am at
Q. Hello guys. I got a problem, and will try to keep it short, for the sake of sparing you time.. I got to meet a girl who is having a bad time in her relationship. I have a protecting instinct, so I blew up her relationship with her boyfriend a wee...
A. 12 February 2012: I guess you should listen to Banshee. I agree with most of what she said.... (read in full...)
Every time I ask my partner to change positions or try something different, he goes limp!
Q. I have been engaged since mid september and my fiancé and I truly love each other. There is one problem. Every time I ask him to change positions or say lets try this... He goes limp and can't get up for like a hour if it at all. I always say it ...
A. 11 February 2012: Yeah look, there's not much you can do about it. Just tell him to exercise more and watch what he eats. That could have something to do with it. Ciao.... (read in full...)
I'm sure there's something wrong, but she won't talk about it
Q. I can't work out what i have done or am doing, i am at my wits end emotionally and its because me and my wife are fighting over pretty much nothing. When you love someone, you know them, almost better than what they know themselves, so you know whe...
A. 9 February 2012: You can't force someone to talk about something if they don't want to. Back off!... (read in full...)
Someone asked him out for me and he said "no"
Q. I really like this boy but someone asked him out for me already and he said no coz we're too close of friends bit of advise on how to change his mind or a way to go out with him please? xx ...
A. 4 February 2012: Not much you can do. Just get over it. He has already said politely that he's not interested.
Maybe you can do something else with your life at the moment that would be easier. Read a few books. Or go on a holiday.... (read in full...)
How do I know if I'm ready to have a boyfriend?
Q. Okay so I have been talking to a guy that I known for a long time. He is 20 and I'm 17 and he's in college and I'm in high school but starting college as well. I can honestly say I have fallen for him he is like everything I want. But there is one ...
A. 4 February 2012: The question you have to ask yourself is...Is he trying to rush me into this relationship?
If he really cares about you, he will not rush you. He will let things unfold at their natural pace.
I'm a guy. And I hate it when women try to rush me i... (read in full...)
I had an affair with a neighbour. Should I tell my husband?
Q. Very Sad Hello, this is long so bear with me, I have been married for 12 years with my husband for 13 years, we have two small kids, I have been happy for most of my marriage and my husband is basicaly a good man, however in our marriage he gamb...
A. 4 February 2012: No. I don't think you should tell him. We have an old saying in our country (a cricket expression)...Let it go through to the keeper.
Just let it go. You made a few mistakes. So what? Other people do the wrong thing all the time and have no remor... (read in full...)
Help me write a meaningful message to my Dad
Q. It was my dad's birthday last week and bought him a birthday card. I'm having "writer's block" because I want to write a meaningful message to him to show how much I've appreciated his support since starting out at university. Also, because my...
A. 3 February 2012: I don't know. Just be yourself I guess. Tell him that you appreciate all his help over the years. And that you wish him all the best with the rest of his life.
Meaningful? I don't know. I'm not Shakespeare. But you can say that you think his supp... (read in full...)
I need motivation, how to lose weight?
Q. What are good weight loss exercises for over weight people? I physically can't do regular push ups so I'm trying to find new things I can do that will still work. I'm currently on weight watchers, but I feel I need more motivation... Any help would ...
A. 2 February 2012: It's a well-known fact that walking is one of the best exercises. There is no chance of doing an injury and it burns up calories. Find some hills to walk up. That will add to the intensity of the exercise.
And do some stretches. Stretchi... (read in full...)
I've not heard from him for 3 days , am I over- reacting?
Q. Hello Everyone, I hope you can help me here, I am wondering what happened. Sorry, it's a longish one. A guy contacted me online on 29-Dec-2011. We seem to get along really well, and started to communicate daily via the dating website, we...
A. 2 February 2012: That's a good question. Maybe he needs time to think. He seems to be avoiding contact with you.
You could just send an SMS asking if you can meet him somewhere, or if he can call you. I don't know. Maybe I'm not the right person to ask about th... (read in full...)
Sweet 27 and never been kissed. Aunts what hope can you offer me that it will happen? Xxxx
Q. I'm looking for advice aunts. I've never kissed a guy before and I don't think anyone wants to. I'm kind of getting old and looking it and feeling it too. I feel too ugly and fat, and its not so much the fat cos i know i usually lose it quic...
A. 1 February 2012: Let me ask you something anonymous. Why is it so important to you? It's not going to change who you are. It's not going to change anything. So I wouldn't worry about it too much. Life is not all plain sailing (whatever that means). You have to take ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend not attracted to me anymore?
Q. I am 24 and I have been with my 25 year old boyfriend for 3 years. I'm not sure if this is all in my head, or something I'm reading in our relationship... but I don't feel like he is very attracted to me.. mentally, emotionally and sexually. :/...
A. 31 January 2012: I think you should take a break from this relationship. Say you want three weeks time away from him. He sounds like a jerk anyway. He cares more about the gym than you.
After three weeks of soul-searching, you will know whether or not to continue... (read in full...)
My husband accused me of cheating and won't allow me to leave the house
Q. i am deeply in love with my husband but he doesn't trust me. he treat me like a cheat and calls me a liar. i can't even go and visit my mum for just a few minutes. i am in my mum's house now, he will send call back or call me to come home. i don'...
A. 30 January 2012: Sounds like he wants to take control of your life. He needs to see a Psychiatrist. He might have Paranoid Personality Disorder. Just tell his to go and see a Psychiatrist and to stop bossing you around. You've done nothing wrong, so he is the one ... (read in full...)
I feel knackered and old!
Q. I'm in a very dark place. I feel immense loneliness, empty feelings no matter who I'm with. I'm threatened by evrything. Mainly people preferring other people to me cause my personality is shit even though pple reassure that its not I feel it deep ...
A. 29 January 2012: LOL This is the funniest thing I've ever heard. But on a serious note, you need to stop smoking weed and see a Doctor. I know how it feels being old and knackered. It sux. But it's better than being young and immature.
The whole world is not ... (read in full...)
In an emotionally abusive relationship but can't let go cause I don't want to see him move on. Help!
Q. My boyfriend and I are on the verge of breaking up but Im still holding on because the thought of him going on dates, falling for other women and getting over me just devastate me and I have anxiety attacks. How do I get over this? Why is this ...
A. 28 January 2012: I guess you will have to break up with him. There aren't really any other options here. It sounds like he is not going to change.
So, off you go. Tell him over the phone that "it's over."
You have to let this relationship go. It's not helping... (read in full...)
I recently saw a message my boyfriend sent to this girl saying nice photo! I changed mine and he said nothing to me? please help!
Q. Hi please help- i recently saw a message my boyfriend sent to this girl saying nice photo how are you.I should say the message was private. He hasnt talked to her in a year and now out of the blue mailed her when she changed her profile pic on site. ...
A. 28 January 2012: Well. I don't know. It's a good question. I think dumping a guy over something like this would be overreacting. If he keeps doing it, then you will have to do something about it.
But for now, just stay calm.... (read in full...)
Are there women and men that think (like me) that oral sex is not romantic ?
Q. u can`t feel the emotional connection with ur lover , i know that it feels good but not that good to me i`d rather have sex i`m talking about a loving,tender relathionship not a one night stand u can`t look in their eyes and feel the connect...
A. 20 January 2012: Heh heh heh heh heh !! You're not weird. You're just too innocent. Heh heh heh heh heh!! How old are you?... (read in full...)
Help, my boyfriend acts like a child...should I dump him?
Q. me and my fiance were together for 3 years...we have been having alot of issues lately..he brings out the worst in me it seems..we havent spent a actual weekend together lately bc he gets on my nerves and when i dont give him attention he gets in my ...
A. 18 January 2012: Well, I think the sensible thing to do is to break up with him. Find someone who doesn't act like a kid. That's about all you can do. You don't have to tell him what you think. Just avoid him for a few months till he gets the message that it's over. ... (read in full...)
He wanted sex. I had my period. Finally I agreed to do it, as I was horny. But it all ended badly, with him freaking out. Was his reaction excessive disgust?
Q. This may gross some people out with I need some honest opinions... I have a fwb and we have sex on a regular basis. Well the other night he came over and I was on my period (a very light one) so I declined sex and just gave him head. Well the ...
A. 17 January 2012: I don't know. Life goes on. All you can do is find a better boyfriend if you are sick of this guy. He sounds like he has a mental problem.... (read in full...)
How do you politely reject someone on the grounds that they might not be "your type"?
Q. How do you politely reject someone on the grounds that they might not be "your type"? If a woman showed an interest in me, how can I say in a nice way (if I'm not interested) that she is not my type? If a woman told me I was not "her type", I ...
A. 15 January 2012: It would be really good if some of you just answered the question.... (read in full...)
How do you let a guy know you think he's cute?
Q. How do you let a guy know that you think he is cute, without making things awkward afterwards? I'm very quiet and so is the guy in question....
A. 15 January 2012: Just tell him the next time you see him that you want to be closer to him. Usually when someone says they want to be closer to you, it's a hint. A sexual message.... (read in full...)
I just found out my partner was a prostitute
Q. Just found out that my partner was a prostitute - apparently a one off that she dreadfully regrets...I love her but am at a loss what to do now...sorry so short but I'm too upset for many details. ...
A. 14 January 2012: You know, I think we all worry to much about these kind of things. It's not like somebody died.
So, just think about how much you love her when you kiss her. Not that one minor mistake she made.... (read in full...)
Can abusive men ever change?
Q. Can men who have been abusive with there partners ever be rehabilited and change their behaviour, or is it something deeper within them and there is little that will change them. I have been with a abusive man for 8 yrs and although it is not daily ...
A. 14 January 2012: No. They can't. That's about as simple as I can make it. So, do yourself a favour and leave him.
He needs a swift kick up the arse.... (read in full...)
How do you politely reject someone on the grounds that they might not be "your type"?
Q. How do you politely reject someone on the grounds that they might not be "your type"? If a woman showed an interest in me, how can I say in a nice way (if I'm not interested) that she is not my type? If a woman told me I was not "her type", I ...
A. 14 January 2012: What I mean is What if she is too young and energetic?
I would prefer someone maybe my own age. Someone might not be your type based on their age.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend always had sex without a condom and it really bothers me
Q. Hi folks, I have a kind of a weird problem: I've found the girl of my dream, we are together for 6 months, and I love her. I told myself I'll make sex without a condom only with my wife. The problem is that she's never used a condom before, the othe...
A. 13 January 2012: I guess it's about what you think is right at the time. And what you're willing to live with. If you can't live with it, break up with her. If you can, then good.... (read in full...)
Were these bad questions to ask?
Q. I started dating this woman. She has asked me these questions many many times. "Why do you love me?", "Why me?" Why do you find me attractive?" I easily answer them. Early in the am, I texted her cell phone with some questions of my own. I ...
A. 29 November 2011: It's a storm in a tea cup. She made a big deal out of nothing.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend made a comment about my small breasts and now I don't want to go near him
Q. Hi guys! I need help from you to build my self-confidence. I have a lovely bf and we are planning our future together. However, our sex life is a complete disaster... I run away from him every time he want to get closer to me. The issue is my ...
A. 31 October 2011: Well, that's not good. You are asking us if you should break up with your boyfriend because he made an inappropriate comment about your breasts? The answer is "no". I think C.Grant summed it up well. We have all said some things that were really... (read in full...)
I feel like he's flown off and I'm stuck on the ground
Q. So, things are a mess with my ex. Help? I'm sorry if this is one huge ramble, I really need to let it all out somehow. I broke up with him at the start of July earlier this year. We'd been together a while, a year and a few months. Each other's ...
A. 30 October 2011: I want you to start living as a stronger person. I don't know why you still worry about your ex.
He might be gay. Maybe that's why he keeps avoiding you. Yes, that must be it.
Just forget about him. Life goes on and shit happens and then... (read in full...)
I want to be a partner, not a mother or a sounding board
Q. I am 43 and am dating a 46 year old man for 9 months. We are both divorced (5 years and 10 years) and both have kids. I have really been enjoying getting to know him. When we first met, he had just moved from a rental house into a house he had ...
A. 21 October 2011: I know someone who also performs these "rants" and sometimes I feel like telling him that it's selfish. No-one likes being used as a sounding board, but he doesn't care. He dumps his problems on me. But getting back to your problem, you nee... (read in full...)
Left my fiancé today because I found out about 7 dating websites on his computer....
Q. Dear Cupid, I would truly appreciate a reply to my question. I am 28 years old and my fiancé is 26 years old. I even spoke with my mother this morning regarding this issue. Last Sunday I went to my fiancé's house as we normally spend our w...
A. 19 October 2011: Yeah, you did the right thing. If he wants you back, you must force him to admit that he did it. And second, you must explain to him why it's important not to look up these websites. He is guilty until proven innocent.... (read in full...)
I feel blank about everything including my relationship!
Q. (sorry in advance if this is post is incoherent) One day, I woke up feeling neutral/blank about my SO. This scared me, because things had been going great between us and I had no reason to feel this way. Just the day before, we spent the entire...
A. 16 October 2011: I guess you should see a Psychiatrist and have a talk to him/her about it.
This is a big decision to make. You don't want to screw it up. She sounds like a nice person. So, you don't want to do anything to hurt her feelings.
These days, i... (read in full...)
I loved him. He hates me now. what can I do? Did he really cheat? I feel so much pain over this breakup.
Q. I was in a long-distance relationship for one year and a half. In a moment of intense weakness, I entered my ex-boyfriend's facebook account. There I found some chat history between him and a girl 15 years younger than him. She seemed to be flir...
A. 16 October 2011: The best thing you can do is just not think about it. What's done is done. He needs to see a Psychiatrist. But he will refuse to see one if he's like most people. Most people don't want to admit they have a problem.
Maybe you should just forget a... (read in full...)
How do I tell my sister she needs to use better hygiene?
Q. Okay so today me and my mom where talking and my sister who is 28 came up in our conversation. It happens to be that my sister still lives at home(Never had a boyfriend) and that's not the problem but what is is that my sister has poor hygiene. I ...
A. 15 October 2011: Oh, I would just mention it briefly at the most inappropriate time. Next time everyone is at the dinner table (especially if you have guests), say something like...Jeez, you stink! Why don't you go and have a shower?! It smells like we're all at a ... (read in full...)
She texted me and I didn't give her my number. Does that mean she likes me?
Q. A girl I work with and who I have a big crush on texted me some things about work that aren't really that important. She could've easily told me them the next day. The thing is, we never swapped numbers so she must've got it from someone else. Is ...
A. 15 October 2011: Well, not necessarily. She might just want to be friends, or maybe she was just really bored and had nothing else to do. You never know. Anything's possible. People do all sorts of strange things these days (without any logic to it).... (read in full...)
We've Been Together For Two Years, Now He Suddenly Won't Take My Calls
Q. I really need help,I have no idea what to do. I have been with this man for 2 years..we met online. We spoke every day on the phone, sometimes two or three times a day.Unfortunately, neither of us has had the means to travel, but we've been okay ...
A. 3 October 2011: Yeah, I can't say much without repeating some of the things Cindy Cares has said.
Emails are not a good idea in these situations. He might have a knee-jerk reaction and send you back something nasty.
The ONLY WAY to find out if it's over is ... (read in full...)
Been with my girlfriend for 5 years but lately I'm feeling very unappreciated...what should I do?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years. I lately feel very unappreciated in our relationship, and don't feel as though that is fair. She says she appreciates me, but I tell her that unless I feel it, it doesn't count. Recently, we r...
A. 28 September 2011: I don't think you should confront her or do anything drastic here. You might just need a break for a few weeks. Go for a holiday and don't contact her in that time. Just explain briefly that you are depressed, and you need some time to yourself to ... (read in full...)
Is masturbating a sin?
Q. I am a Christian (Catholic) girl and I have recently started masturbating myself, and I read lots of articles that says that masturbation is a sin. Is it true? Did God really prohibits it? P.S I am not using any toys or such....
A. 28 September 2011: Well, according to the laws of the church or Bible, yes. But the Bible was written thousands of years ago. And the church has double standards. They don't think it's a big deal molesting boys, but they tell us we shouldn't masturbate.
So, I wouldn... (read in full...)
Nearly a year with him and he's never given me oral sex!
Q. ive been with my boyfriend nearly a yr and hes never given me oral sex!! he doesnt even talk bout it!! its the same old thing, nothing spontaneous we just watch tv go to bed, light goes off he gets on me does his business and says i feel better now ...
A. 28 September 2011: Why don't you just stop having sex with him for a while? And then when he asks what's going on, you tell him.
You can mention it but if he changes the subject or doesn't want to talk about it, he doesn't love you. And you should dump him
W... (read in full...)
She never invites me to her home any more. Why does she only suggest we "get a room"instead? What's going on?
Q. Let's say you are in a relationship with woman where is has been off and on for years and have been to her place before, in the beginning. but now she moved and told you "she brought a house" and I live out of town but every time I come into town...
A. 26 September 2011: It might be a sign that she wants to move on. Sorry, but it might be the end of "you and her".
The love has disappeared. She obviously has better things to do with her time than make you feel welcome at her house. There's no nice way of saying i... (read in full...)
I'm feeling underappreciated in this relationship.
Q. My boyfriend of 1 year seems pretty blase about "us" until I look upset. It's very obvious how much I care for him. I just don't get the same enthusiasm about our relationship from him, that is, until I'm feeling so unappreciated that it is obvious ...
A. 26 September 2011: Just sit down with him at a cafe or restaurant, and have a coffee. Then talk about it. If he doesn't want to listen or wants to change the subject, it might be a sign that he doesn't care what you have to say.
That's the best way you can test thi... (read in full...)
Why is this guy avoiding me after one awkward conversation?
Q. So there's this guy at work who I thought I could be friends with. When we first met, he wasn't shy, but nervous, and really friendly. Although we never talked (other than during first introduction), he always looked into my eyes with a sincere ...
A. 27 August 2011: Sounds like you remind him of someone. Maybe he once had a girlfriend years ago who hurt his feelings, and he's worried that if he gets involved with you, you might do the same.
It's a possibility. You could get someone else to ask him what he ... (read in full...)
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