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... Send *ruce lee a private message | | | *ruce lee's profile:i am not really qualified to help people but I like to give advice. if anyone wants to send me a private message, feel free. not many people know where to find the right advice when they are going through a hard emotional time. when we feel inside us that something is not right, we must reach out and talk about it with someone.
the yin and yang symbol represents my even-handed approach to situations. there is good and bad in everything. that's the way i look at it.
no-one in this world is going to back you up if you have a big argument with someone, whether you're in the right or the wrong. so being right is not always important. getting your own way is what counts.
and at the end of the day, nothing in life is certain. whether that's good or bad, it's just the way it is i guess. we live in the present moment. We do not dwell on past regrets and we don't worry about future concerns. a good marriage is a lot like a novel. it is fun.
but a bad marriage is like a prison. it is terrible. and i have been in prison many times before. adios |
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| Latest articles: Sensitive new age guy vs Cocky and Arrogant
This question has 16 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 April 2010: Do women like men who are a bit cocky and arrogant? Or do they prefer snesitive new age guys? Some women, I've heard, like men who exude confidence. Is this a dumb question? Help me out here. I want to get women on side, so they stop pulling faces ...
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Do other people know if someone has had sex the night before?
Q. I don't want to disgust anyone with this question, but I want to know what goes on inside other people's heads. My question is...Do people wonder if they see someone walking down the street whether or not that person had sex the night before? ...
A. 16 July 2010: Thanks for your answers. I do worry a lot that there are people out there who can read my mind. It is a scarey thing when you worry that someone is inside your head. Take care and enjoy the day.
I hope women don't give out names of people when the... (read in full...)
Why hasn't he tried to talk to me after we kissed
Q. OrSpell Check Your Text Language: English (change) we meet about 2 years ago and about once a week we would spend the evening with a bunch of friends. we have always playfully flirted with each other and about a year ago it got more intense h...
A. 13 July 2010: Guys can be complicated the way they think, but it sounds like he has tricked you. Yes, he is playing with your emotions.
But the real question for you is...What can I do about this?
And the answer is...not much.
You might just have to forge... (read in full...)
Is there anything romantic about having sex with a prostitute?
Q. I'm not going to lie. I have made love to prostitutes before. I have tried to be gentle with them (women of course). But I want to know...is there anything romantic or beautiful about making love to prostitutes? I need to get it off my conscience. I ...
A. 12 July 2010: I admit that all the bad things that have happened to me I deserve. But I think it is wishful thinking to expect an experience with a prostitute to be special.
The reality is I was drunk when I had my first experience with one and I felt like I h... (read in full...)
Is there anything romantic about having sex with a prostitute?
Q. I'm not going to lie. I have made love to prostitutes before. I have tried to be gentle with them (women of course). But I want to know...is there anything romantic or beautiful about making love to prostitutes? I need to get it off my conscience. I ...
A. 11 July 2010: Well, it's more complicated than what I first thought. But avoiding any kind of sexual encounters seems to be the only solution right now. I can't risk something horrible happening to me in the future. Women can exploit and abuse men just as badly ... (read in full...)
Is there anything romantic about having sex with a prostitute?
Q. I'm not going to lie. I have made love to prostitutes before. I have tried to be gentle with them (women of course). But I want to know...is there anything romantic or beautiful about making love to prostitutes? I need to get it off my conscience. I ...
A. 11 July 2010: I feel like I'm going round and round in circles. I am going to visit my family soon in another part of Australia. And they find me to be a real nutjob. (I don't know if that's a word)
I don't ever talk about it with them. All I remember about my... (read in full...)
Is there anything romantic about having sex with a prostitute?
Q. I'm not going to lie. I have made love to prostitutes before. I have tried to be gentle with them (women of course). But I want to know...is there anything romantic or beautiful about making love to prostitutes? I need to get it off my conscience. I ...
A. 11 July 2010: I thought about giving the prostitute an expensive watch, but I ended up giving it to my mum. Anyway, the point is that I'm bad. I'm bad. You know it, you know.
Thanks for your answers.
I hope you all learn something from this. Do not make the ... (read in full...)
What is so special to women about having a baby?
Q. [OP's original title] You're all not going to like this...But I am a guy and I don't think there is anything special about having kids. I had a vasectomy years ago, and there's some lunatic woman I've met, who I'm having it off with, who wants a baby...
A. 9 July 2010: I would like to thank you all for your answers. I guess you all were tricked by me. I made this all up. The part about the vasectomy is true. But the rest was all lies. I was testing out what kind of responses I would get from people. But it ... (read in full...)
Should I not meet him in person?
Q. I got to know a guy who's from Germany on a website for people to practise languages they're learning more than one year and a half.When I got to know him,he was quite busy cos of graduation,but we often had good chats with each other.Later on,I had ...
A. 7 July 2010: Well, I don't think it's a great idea to meet him. It seems like all he wants to do is get into bed with you a few times, and then dump you.
But you should think about it. It's your life, and you have to use your own judgement.
Tell him that... (read in full...)
Why does she act like she's not interested in me?
Q. So, like every other guy on here... theres this girl, we've known each other for almost 7 months and have come to be very very good friends, to the point where we consider each other as best friends and see each other every day. Over those 7 m...
A. 7 July 2010: I think you should be honest with her but not too direct. Just say something like, "What do you think about me?"
It's a good question to start a conversation about how you feel...Or how she feels.
Has she ever told you that she loves you? I... (read in full...)
Will it destroy a relationship if I tell a woman that I once was with a prostitute?
Q. I have a friend who is disgusted that I have been with prostitutes before. She cried when i told her about it. And said that if I ever met a nice lady, and I told her, she would run. Is this true? Are most women disgusted with the idea of a guy ha...
A. 6 July 2010: I might have said too much already. But the woman who cried when I told her is married. And she is older than me. And so, I would like to thank you all for your answers. I will go away and think about all this for a while. It is a more serious ... (read in full...)
Opinions please on this email he sent to me....
Q. I just want some opinions regarding how someone I know feels about me, if you were to receive this email, what would YOU think, its not the full email, just a part of it which I received today. I've known them for a long time and it is starting to ...
A. 6 July 2010: I think he needs help. He should see a Psychiatrist maybe. But only he can make that decision. No-one can force him to.
You might also need to speak to an expert about the whole thing. Mmmmm...All these thoughts inside your head will not just go ... (read in full...)
Opinions please on this email he sent to me....
Q. I just want some opinions regarding how someone I know feels about me, if you were to receive this email, what would YOU think, its not the full email, just a part of it which I received today. I've known them for a long time and it is starting to ...
A. 5 July 2010: I think you should send him an email back, telling him to keep away. He sounds like a vile creep.
Steer clear of him for a few months.
I have an uncle who falsely accused me of being gay a few months ago, so I left a message on his phone tellin... (read in full...)
Why did my work colleagues behave this way?
Q. Hi Cupids, mine isn't a love question but I'm annoyed at what's happened. At the weekend work organised a night out to somewhere me and my boyfriend had never been to so a girl who works with me and her BF said we could follow them - whic...
A. 5 July 2010: You're disappointed right now because you were ignored. Just remember something. Disappointment lasts for 2 or 3 days. Regret lasts forever. So do not spend any more time regretting the whole experience. Just let it go.
I hope this answers ... (read in full...)
Opinions on tattoos please?
Q. I have a few tattoos, and I'm wondering if women find them attractive or if they think they look shocking? The best tattoo I have is a black dragon on my right arm. I don't know if it looks scarey or not. One of the reasons I have tattoos is to...
A. 4 July 2010: I have had it off with prostitutes before and they have commented that they like them. So I guess that's a good sign. But more importantly, thanks for your answers. I will go away and have a think about all this for a while. If a woman has tattoos, ... (read in full...)
Is it okay to just wait for a woman to make the first move?
Q. I have problems with meeting women (I don't ask them out anymore) and I'm wondering if it is okay to just wait for a woman to ask me out. Most people I speak to say it should be the man's job to ask the woman out. But I think it should be 50/50. ...
A. 26 June 2010: Okay, thanks for your advice. I will go away and think about all this. You know, being rejected is one of the most depressing things in the world. It's like when you're five years old, and the Easter Bunny doesn't bring you any eggs.
You might no... (read in full...)
Is taking a paternity test of my brother's child crossing the line? I have evidence to suggest his girlfriend has been lying for 7yrs!
Q. Okay this is a weird story and question but here it goes. When my brother was 16 he got this girl pregnant and she was 22 at the time (which i find very gross). No one in my family knew the child or even the girl for that matter existed until the ...
A. 11 June 2010: I guess it's about what you think is right at the time, and what you're willing to live with. So it's your decision. Personally, I don't think you should do this because it could backfire. If it turns out that the boy is your brother's son, and ... (read in full...)
Is it really possible to have no sex drive whatsoever? Or am I just depressed?
Q. I've stopped caring about whether or not I ever have a girlfriend. I don't know if this is normal. But my question is...Is it possible to have no sex drive whatsoever? I am 31 and I've become so depressed and disappointed with my life, that I just ...
A. 11 June 2010: Thanks for the last answer. We all feel down and depressed sometimes, and then we don't want to trust anyone, and we don't want to be touched sexually in any way. That's what I'm like...When I get depressed, I don't want to be around anyone. I spend ... (read in full...)
He's sooooooooo mean!!!
Q. My boyfriend and I dated for five years; to make the long story short after long bickering and fights on i want space i want to hang out with my friends blah blah.. he ends the relationship.. he tells me that he is sorry that he caused so much ...
A. 11 June 2010: I think you should keep telling him to get lost. It sounds like he doesn't care about you much. Then again, not many people do care about anyone. Most of us just look after ourselves...This is nothing new.
Just tell him to get out of your life and... (read in full...)
Is it really possible to have no sex drive whatsoever? Or am I just depressed?
Q. I've stopped caring about whether or not I ever have a girlfriend. I don't know if this is normal. But my question is...Is it possible to have no sex drive whatsoever? I am 31 and I've become so depressed and disappointed with my life, that I just ...
A. 11 June 2010: Thanks for your answers. I will go away and think about all this for a while. Some things in life are too depressing to talk about. So I will have a think about them. It doesn't hurt to think about things.... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend that I have met someone else without hurting him?
Q. I am a female of 24 years I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 years six months now, the problem is that I have lost interest in him and have met someone I think I love, and he on the other hand wants to get married, how do I tell him all this ...
A. 1 June 2010: You can't help how you feel. Just say to him that you've met someone else and things might be coming to an end soon. Circumstances can make life difficult for everyone. He might thank you for it one day. He might find someone who he loves too.
... (read in full...)
Can being in a relationship, ever weigh more than the risk of getting their STD?
Q. Hey! It's me again. I have to see my GP in a few days time to arrange an HIV test. You see, I had it off with a prostitute once and I have to find out if I caught anything. Comprende? But my question is...Is it worth ever being in a relationship w...
A. 30 May 2010: Thank you all for your answers. I love using a condom while the prostitute gives it to me. I once even told her than I loved her, and she laughed. LOL
What's a random sonofabitch? Do you mean a randy sonofabitch? Or are they the same thing.
... (read in full...)
How can I make small talk with strangers? What should I say?
Q. Hi guys. I don't know what to do about this situation. It has nothing to do with being in a relationship, but I'd appreciate some help here. How do people make small talk or conversation without feeling awkward? I want to make small talk with ...
A. 29 May 2010: Yes, you are all right. But one of the problems I have with talking to strangers is not knowing whether or not they even want to talk. Sometimes, I get the feeling that they are busy or in a bad mood, and that makes it very awkward if I want to make ... (read in full...)
I don't have the guts to leave him but I don't want to stay either
Q. I have been in a relationship with my partner for 4 years. We have a 2 1/2 year old daughter. I was 19 when I fell pregnant and at university 3 hours drive from my parents house. I moved in with my partner and I feel that the last few years I have ...
A. 27 May 2010: I guess you have to do what you think is right at the time, and it's a question of what you're willing to live with.
The way life works is...When you are not happy with a relationship, it's not worth being in it. So I would be smart. I would cu... (read in full...)
How can I develop better self esteem?
Q. Hi guys. I have low self-esteem and I don't understand why. My Psychiatrist says it could be because of my social isolation and Asperger's Syndrome. But I am wondering if there are other reasons behind it all. I know that I am fat but I don't thin...
A. 27 May 2010: Thanks for your answers. I think low self-esteem is a problem for a lot of people. And we all want to feel better about ourselves.
But the issue is where does self-esteem come from? I don't know the answer, but I'll find out one day.
With in... (read in full...)
Please help! My new sexual partner is keen but is having problems keeping it up!
Q. Hi all, I have been seeing this guy and we both talked about wanting to have sex. We discussed getting tested, past experiences, what we like etc. I told him that it seems like he is more experienced than I am and that he'll have to take charg...
A. 25 May 2010: Obviously, he will have to speak to a Urologist or a GP about this. There's not much else you can do here if the problem continues. I hope that all makes sense.
I guess he might also be stressed out over things.
It's probably just a temporary... (read in full...)
How can I stop finding fault in other people?
Q. Hi everyone. I have a unique problem and I want to do something about it, but it's not easy. I manage to find fault in people all the time. Not a day goes by where I don't think about something someone did that has upset me. Just a few minutes ago, ...
A. 23 May 2010: I had a look at that particular book today and it seemed a bit boring and not worth the money. It was almost $25. Sorry, but I'm not going to buy it. Bla bla bla I might keep looking for it at the local libraries. But I admit that I do have a p... (read in full...)
Was she just being shy?
Q. My crush normally shows me signs such as: looking at me when I'm not looking at her (sometimes while giggling), mimicking me, asking people she knows questions about me, showing concern for me if she thinks I'm in trouble, her friends act ...
A. 22 May 2010: You know, the real question you've got to ask yourself is...How well or how badly do I take rejections?
If you ever ask her out and she says no, how will you take it?
Whether or not this girl is shy is not the issue. It sounds like she is. But... (read in full...)
I hate my sister. Is this normal?
Q. I think I hate my sister. Is this normal, or should I do something to communicate better with her? She is deaf. And she has a jealousy complex. She always wants to know what I'm doing with my time, and treats me like she thinks she is my mother...
A. 19 May 2010: Yeah. Yeah, I reckon you might be right. I'll have a talk to her about these things. I might write her a letter. She is in Tasmania at the moment.... (read in full...)
Is it safe to make this fantasy come true?
Q. Hey, is it safe to make the "rape" fantasy come true? Me and my boyfriend want to give it a try its both of are fantasies, but i dont want any thing to go wrong or be awkward after it happens, do you just go back right after into being the lovey ...
A. 19 May 2010: Bondage is okay but I wouldn't play out the rape fantasy. That might be taking things a bit too far. But of course, it's up to you.
I haven't heard of this destroying a relationship but if it ever did, who would want to disclose it? Sometime... (read in full...)
I hate my sister. Is this normal?
Q. I think I hate my sister. Is this normal, or should I do something to communicate better with her? She is deaf. And she has a jealousy complex. She always wants to know what I'm doing with my time, and treats me like she thinks she is my mother...
A. 19 May 2010: I understand where you're coming from Tisha-1, but you still haven't explained why she wants food off my plate when Im eating. Still, you are very smart and you have given a good answer. I'll think about the whole thing. I had to look up the word ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to regain my youthful sex drive and performance?
Q. I may have messed myself up sexually. Im 39 and during my life i had a few very bad relationships that caused me to push women away for the last 9-10 years. but just because i didnt want to be in a relationship or have relations doesnt mean that i ...
A. 19 May 2010: Well, no. You can't really do anything about it except hope that you will not explode so soon. There is always hope. And if you ever watched the movie The Shawshank Redemption, you will see that hope is a good thing.
You should watch the movie. I... (read in full...)
I hate my sister. Is this normal?
Q. I think I hate my sister. Is this normal, or should I do something to communicate better with her? She is deaf. And she has a jealousy complex. She always wants to know what I'm doing with my time, and treats me like she thinks she is my mother...
A. 19 May 2010: She does not work. She does sewing somewhere as a course. She doesn't live with me anymore because I kicked her out of the unit. She owns two thirds and I own one third. She tried to control my life by telling me that she didn't want me to leave... (read in full...)
Is my bf having an allergic reaction to me?
Q. I have a sex/medical question - every time my boyfriend and I have sex he gets very sore, swollen and inflamed afterwards. I know he should go to a doctor and I'm sure I'll convince him to eventually, but in the meantime, has anyone had a similar ...
A. 19 May 2010: I think it's nothing. I used to get itchiness on the lips and penis after having it off with prostitutes, and so far, the Doctors have told me I'm fine. They said it could just be irritation of the skin.
In your boyfriends case, who knows? I... (read in full...)
I hate my sister. Is this normal?
Q. I think I hate my sister. Is this normal, or should I do something to communicate better with her? She is deaf. And she has a jealousy complex. She always wants to know what I'm doing with my time, and treats me like she thinks she is my mother...
A. 19 May 2010: Can I just say something? What relevance does gender have here? Why does it matter that I'm a guy? Are you saying that life is better for guys than it is for girls?
Please explain.... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend call me fat?
Q. hey my boyfriend calls me fat after i confided in him and told him i wanted to loose a lot of wieght, but then he'll turn around and call me beautiful. what is his deal???...
A. 18 May 2010: It depends how he is saying it. Some people say things as a joke, and some people say things in a nasty way.
You can always give him a warning that you'll dump him if he doesn't cut it out. Or threaten to disclose some embarrassing informat... (read in full...)
Problems with condoms?
Q. in my past, present, and probably future relationships i have never liked using a condom. i dont know if its just me, the brand, or what. i think that smell like plastic, ranted they are, but still not a turn on. they inhibit my..pleasure. to ...
A. 17 May 2010: Do they make your penis itch? Or is it just the smell? I don't like them much either but it's better to be safe than sorry. By the way, don't you also find it really embarrassing having to buy them? I hate that as well.
I guess some things i... (read in full...)
I feel lonely and depressed. Does everyone feel like this sometimes?
Q. I sometimes feel a sense of extreme loneliness. Do all people feel like this sometimes? Even when I am in a room full of people, I feel this way. I don't know exactly what is causing this. Is it some kind of depression? Or does everyone feel this ...
A. 16 May 2010: I'd better say something nice here. Thanks for all your answers. I understand that some of the questions I ask sound too sentimental sometimes, but that's the kind of guy I am.
I don't understand why I feel lonely. Maybe I push everyone out of m... (read in full...)
Dreaming of my Professor, Literally.
Q. Alright let me begin by saying I do not have a crush on my teacher. I'm not in love with my teacher either. Heres the thing. I have a boyfriend who I've dated for almost two years, love him to death. I have a teacher who I've had for a year ...
A. 15 May 2010: No, it is not normal. Does that answer one of your questions? It would be normal to dream about him once or twice but not more than that.
To stop these dreams from interfering with your focus during class, you have to try hard to stop thinking... (read in full...)
Got too drunk and don't know how to apologise
Q. help. I'm feeling so crap about myself, i got way to drunk last night. all i had was 3 drinks of vodka and my tolerance is normally way higher. i dont remeber anything but i had gone and insulted both my friends who i also live with telling one...
A. 15 May 2010: Maybe you should just avoid these people for a while. I suppose you can apologise. But wait for the right moment.
I got drunk about a month ago and made a fool of myself too. But as they say...Life goes on.
It's good that you have remorse tho... (read in full...)
Dreaming of my Professor, Literally.
Q. Alright let me begin by saying I do not have a crush on my teacher. I'm not in love with my teacher either. Heres the thing. I have a boyfriend who I've dated for almost two years, love him to death. I have a teacher who I've had for a year ...
A. 15 May 2010: I am not sure what you should do here. But it might be best if you play it safe, and just let these thoughts pass. Thoughts are just thoughts. They don't define a person. Actions define a person. That's the way you've got to look at it.
Event... (read in full...)
I'm stuck in a time warp. Is anything ever going to change?
Q. Every time someone tries to help me, I throw it back in their face because I am disappointed with everything that's happened to me in the past. The worst years of my life was from the ages of 14 to 19. The years 1994 to 1998 were bloody terrible....
A. 15 May 2010: I will get around to reading the book at some point. I will write it down. But the point I want to make is that we all have different values and philosophies. We all interpret the exact same situations differently sometimes.
My Psycholo... (read in full...)
I'm stuck in a time warp. Is anything ever going to change?
Q. Every time someone tries to help me, I throw it back in their face because I am disappointed with everything that's happened to me in the past. The worst years of my life was from the ages of 14 to 19. The years 1994 to 1998 were bloody terrible....
A. 15 May 2010: Is philosophical advice better than practical advice? I guess we all have a different opinion on that. At a Psychiatric Ward, someone said the Psychiatrists or Psychologists there prefered to give practical advice. Everyone goes through dep... (read in full...)
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