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Am I asexual?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 May 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 6 May 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

This might be a weird question, but I have never had an orgasm.

I don't even enjoy sex.

I'm 20 and I have been with four men; I have never even enjoy having sex and it is making me frustrated. is there some thing wrong with me?

What can I do to make my sex life better?

I feel so bad because all my friends talk about it and I just sit there.

I tried playing around with myself and got a vibrator but I dont even enjoy playing with myself.

Help me!

Is there some thing wrong with me?

View related questions: orgasm, sex life, vibrator

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010):

There is no such thing as normal, we are all different. Some people genuinely don't need sex,that's OK, it's not the law!!

If it is the case that you have emotional issues get therapy, if you have physical issues see a doctor, but if you just genuinely have no sexual desire, don't worry...it is unusual but not wierd.

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A male reader, OmegaXF United States +, writes (5 May 2010):

OmegaXF agony auntWell my first answer would be start playing with yourself but you've clearly taken that equation out of the water. Based on what you've said I've made these deductions. Being with a maximum of four guys is not a good thing. The first one must have been the one to take your virginity so that usually never goes well. Maybe that experience has stuck with you. The other three guys are just practice but if you literally only had sex 4 times that a sign of inexperience. When you are playing with yourself are you ever in the mood? You can't rush off to pleasuring yourself unless you are comfortable with yourself, and environment. You need to know what you want also, sensual touching, communication, slow pace, fast pace, irregular movements and flat out being attracted to the person your in the sack with. Maybe it's not sex that is the problem maybe it's just who your with and how you feel. What is it about sex that turns you off? More details would yield answers but this is only my deduction from what I had laid in front of me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2010):

There is nothing wrong with you. It is usually harder for a woman to obtain an orgasm than a man. I had the same problem until I tried these activities: foreplay is important to me because it relaxes me and calms my mind, clitoral stimulation is crucial so I have my boyfriend play and give me oral stimulation especially in the clitoris, and finally it is easier for me to orgasm if I am on top and stimulate my g-spot internally. I also have a vibrator, try keeping it on your clitoris, your clit is very sensitive since it has thousands of nerve endings. Keep the vibrator there and enjoy the feeling :-) good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2010):

You're not weird or strange don't worry! Everyone has different levels of arousal and whatnot and it just so happens to be that you have less, not a big deal. Are you really attracted to men but just don't have the urge to have sex or is it that you're just not attracted to men? Either way try not to worry (as easy as it sounds), it's just not a big deal and it doesn't make you weird :-)xx

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A male reader, bruce lee Nigeria +, writes (5 May 2010):

bruce lee agony auntThe realistic approach to this question is for you to give yourself time to figure it all out. It can take time to figure out what sexuality-type you belong to. By the way, can someone clarify what asexual means?

Doesn't that mean that one has no sexuality?

I went through a phase where I had no sexuality. It was just a phase for me. I was angry so I decided that I didn't want to have it off with anyone.

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