A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months and were friends prior to that for approximately 2 years. When we first met, I was a fine art model. I posed nude for photographers and artists. This wasn't a problem until he started to care about me on a more deeper level. He's totally obsessed with it and searches the internet for images of me. He says that he can't get it out of his mind and it tortures him on a daily basis. He's a photographer himself and has photographed nude women, but believes it to be different when it's someone that he loves. He is seeking professional help because he really wants us to work and truly wants to get over his obsession. He needs to either get over it or be with someone without thisMy question is: how do I deal with it in the meantime? I hate seeing him hurt and it kills me to know that it is due to a part of my being. My first reaction to his pain is to run. I question how is it that he can let this jealousy overshadow the amazing relationship we have. I care about him so immensely that i think, sometimes, that I should leave him so he'll feel better. Everything else is beyond perfect, the best I've ever had. It saddens me that I don't know what to do to fix this.
View related questions:
jealous, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2010): Hi. I guess hes imagining all those men logging on and staring at his partners naked body and that makes him jealous. Theres not much he an do about it as the pictures are out there now. As he must have known you did this sort of work before he started dating you, his reaction has probably suprised him! Do as suggested here and just ignore it all. Theres really nothing you can do to change things now so least said, sooner mended. In essence hes being a bit of a hypocrite. He didnt mind photographing women and producing pictures of them. But objects to the fact that you did it and hes allowing his jealousy to ruin your relationship. If he cant get past this you might do well to warn him of what he is doing and what the outcome will be.
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (29 April 2010):
 As an artist, I can tell you that there is NOTHING sexual about drawing nudes. People who pose nude aren't doing it to entice someone. I've studied art and other people's nudity doesn't make me uncomfortable at all because I see them from a visual standpoint, the way I would see a rose, except that it's a live person and not a still life. The person sketching a nude model can see the beauty from an artistic vantage point but it has absolutely nothing to do with seducing someone.
I know that you and I know this, but perhaps if your boyfriend were to read my post he'd feel a bit more secure.
...............................
A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (29 April 2010):
 There's an old Russian saying...When a man loves a woman, he can be quite jealous if another man so much as looks at her.
Tell him to stop making you feel guilty, and to get a life. He sounds like a bit of a geek. Sorry but he needs to grow up.
If you're happy with the job, he should be happy for you. Besides, he can't have it both ways. If he photographs nude women, he should accept that you have the right to do yor job as well.
I trust this information has been of assistance to you. Good luck with the whole thing, and just ignore him.
...............................
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (29 April 2010):
 A big clap for him for going to therapy to try and sort this out in his head. That shows he's not a complete neanderthal. I think you should completely ignore it. If you pussy foot round him and feel sorry for him you are just feeding his jealously and needyness. It's a bit like a child throwing a tantrum the less notice you take of it the quicker it goes away. Just carry on with your life as per normal and if he's having a down day about it pretend like he's being a happy sunny person and treat him like he is. Hope this makes sense.
...............................
|
