My Gf wants to start going to the gym but I am worried I wont find her physically attractive if she loses weight, Please help!
Q. My GF was started is thinking about going to the gym with her sister because she invited her to go. I love her very much and I would never leave her and stand by her no matter what, but her going to the gym scares me a bit and i have a few questions ...
A. 23 December 2011: there are times, like now when I am soooooo glad to live in a country with a working national health service.
Anyhow, you asked about the links between obesity and cancer.
Since 2001 studies have been linking a higher incidence of certain... (read in full...)
My Gf wants to start going to the gym but I am worried I wont find her physically attractive if she loses weight, Please help!
Q. My GF was started is thinking about going to the gym with her sister because she invited her to go. I love her very much and I would never leave her and stand by her no matter what, but her going to the gym scares me a bit and i have a few questions ...
A. 21 December 2011: her bmi is around 32, and her ideal bmi would be 20-25ish... so she needs to lose around 3 stone or 42lbs to be in the healthy range.
If she loses 100lbs she would be underweight and at risk of other health conditions.... (read in full...)
Can I believe my boyfriend when he says he is not gay?
Q. My bf looked at transvestites online in the past.I asked him openly if he was bi and he said no.I said that i don't care what he did before me, and that if he tried something i would understand him 100%.That we all have the right to have fantasies, ...
A. 21 December 2011: whhhhooooaaaahhhh
why does a man looking at a transvestite mean he is gay.
A transvestite is NOT an indication of sexual orientation!
A transvestite is a man who enjoyes wearing womens clothes.
A man who enjoys cross-dressing can do so ... (read in full...)
My Gf has asked me for £50, I said No, was I wrong?
Q. Hi all, been with my gf for 3 years she has never worked (she is 19) and neither has her mum I have worked since I left school. I spend quite alot on her having to buy food lending her bus money etc etc sometimes it annoys me sometimes it doesn't. ...
A. 20 December 2011: you are not in the wrong.... not by a long shot.
Unless there is a genuine reason for her not working (pregnant, breastfeeding, raising a baby, ill health, disability - you get the idea) then its time she grew up.
She is an adult now and ha... (read in full...)
My Gf wants to start going to the gym but I am worried I wont find her physically attractive if she loses weight, Please help!
Q. My GF was started is thinking about going to the gym with her sister because she invited her to go. I love her very much and I would never leave her and stand by her no matter what, but her going to the gym scares me a bit and i have a few questions ...
A. 20 December 2011: being specific
1 - no. Weight loss happens throughout the body. Despite the myth there is no way to target weight loss. What she can do is target muscle "gain". By working out her pectorals she will be building the muscles behind the breast t... (read in full...)
I read my wife's journal and now I am tormented by it
Q. I have been with my wife for 9 years, married for 6. I was a virgin when we met. She told me she had been with three men. Considering her great beauty and how many men were after her I didn't think that was so bad, especially because she is three...
A. 20 December 2011: I think you need to be realistic here...
You went snooping and voila you found out something you wish you hadnt, lesson to be learned there.
Anyhoo
Your girlfriend has chosen YOU
your girlfriend hasnt cheated
she hasnt abused your trust
... (read in full...)
So hard to walk away after so many years. Where do I find the strength?
Q. So the holidays are fastly approaching and I am dreading every minute of it. My husband and I have been together for 18 yrs now and it is now over. We decided a few weeks ago that he needed to leave after the holiday (only stayed cause of our 3 ...
A. 20 December 2011: oh hun :(
you might not like what I have to say... but nevertheless.
I would be treating the separation as full and final. You have to be treating it as if your going it alone for the sake of your kids... they dont deserve to live in limbo ei... (read in full...)
We are just friends but could there be more?
Q. Hi there . Here's my little dilemma : I have a friend , she;s a colleague , we study at the same college . Short story , first we didn't speak to much , after one night when we studied together we talked every night for the next couple weeks (the ...
A. 20 December 2011: no not at all. Some girls prefer to share all about their past with a new love interest. REally the only way you will find out is to try!!!... (read in full...)
He is off work for the holidays and starts drinking at 11am! Should I accept this or confront him?
Q. My partner and I have been living together for 6 months. He is on holiday at the moment but I am still working. He starts drinking at 11 am since on holiday, keeps going till 9 pm. When he's working he will only have a glass or 2 of wine in the e...
A. 20 December 2011: eek!
I would stop paying for any further alcohol now!
I'm with cerberus... alcoholism is a dependancy on alcohol. I have no problem with people who partake in a glass of something of an evening, the problem is whether they NEED it. To me s... (read in full...)
Depression+Weight Gain=MORE DEPRESSION
Q. about 5 months ago when i was told i wasnt aloud to talk to my boyfriend anymore i got very depressed and gained some weight. i didnt think it was that much at 1st but now im realizing, since its winter, that some of my pants and coats are really ...
A. 20 December 2011: ok you need to look at healthy weight loss. I'm not a fan of the VLCD's (very low calorie diets) unless under prescription from a doctor and with proper support. I also detest all the fad diets.
So... you are wanting to lose fat at a achievab... (read in full...)
Ladies--If you have sex without orgasm, does it satisfy you anyways?
Q. This question is for the women: If you're in the mood, and you have sex but don't have an orgasm, does it satisfy the urge anyway? In other words, if you're in the mood and you have sex, are you more likely to want to have sex again soon if the sex ...
A. 20 December 2011: Hiya
I still very much enjoy sex without an orgasm, for me its not an essential part of lovemaking. Its wonderful if it happen, but if it doesnt I still enjoy the act.
I would also say that whether I orgasm or not has nothing significant to d... (read in full...)
So hard to walk away after so many years. Where do I find the strength?
Q. So the holidays are fastly approaching and I am dreading every minute of it. My husband and I have been together for 18 yrs now and it is now over. We decided a few weeks ago that he needed to leave after the holiday (only stayed cause of our 3 ...
A. 20 December 2011: I think your right about not pulling the children from school - at least in the early months following the separation. They are going to need their support system and the familiarity of friends and teachers they trust.
It does sound like alot of ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of him making excuses not to try for a child or to get engaged!
Q. Hi I accidently got pregnant last summer with my boyfriend (we've been a steady couple for 3 years) and then had a early miscarriage. I took the MC very bad but by bf just shook the whole thing off as "those things happen". Now I've been wantin...
A. 19 December 2011: ahh cerebrus, I didnt read it that way. If thats the case then I apologise, it just came across to me that you got more of a handout if you had a lower income, and therefore were intending not to work so that you had more money from the state.
... (read in full...)
So hard to walk away after so many years. Where do I find the strength?
Q. So the holidays are fastly approaching and I am dreading every minute of it. My husband and I have been together for 18 yrs now and it is now over. We decided a few weeks ago that he needed to leave after the holiday (only stayed cause of our 3 ...
A. 19 December 2011: you have the strength because you have to have it.
Its not easy... actually its amongst the hardest things I have ever had to do... but you do survive. I dont know where the strength comes from, but its there... it just means that you will cru... (read in full...)
I'm tired of him making excuses not to try for a child or to get engaged!
Q. Hi I accidently got pregnant last summer with my boyfriend (we've been a steady couple for 3 years) and then had a early miscarriage. I took the MC very bad but by bf just shook the whole thing off as "those things happen". Now I've been wantin...
A. 19 December 2011: I am in agreement with cindy here... on almost all. I dont believe both parents need to have full time jobs, however at least ONE must, and the other needs to be willing to work full time if needed. Children were traditionally brought up in families ... (read in full...)
What did he mean by this? Does he like me?
Q. I'm quite confused. I'm not too sure what my friend meant by this. He said to me someone asked him if he liked me and he got scared that this person would tell everyone. I'm not sure what to think. Does he like me or not??...
A. 19 December 2011: sounds like he does.
... (read in full...)
Do I have the right to be mad?
Q. My husband and I rarely go out. We visit alot with his family and we go out as a couple often. But we dont go out with other couples. He has has a job almost a year now, and we have gone out 2x with the owner of the company and with the own...
A. 19 December 2011: hmmmm yes and no....
You called this bloke a mean drunk... is he a drunk or was he just drunk? There is a HUGE difference from someone who habitually gets drunk at every available opportunity to a person who rarely drinks but has got wan**red... (read in full...)
I cant control my erections! Help!
Q. Am a reserved guy of 22.anytime a girl tourches or even playing or discussing romantic issues with a girl i usually gets an erection which i can't control or surpress.i don't actuallly know what's wrong with me or know the reason for that or what ...
A. 19 December 2011: ok
just to be clear here...
you get erections when:
A girl is touching you in a sexual way
A girl is talking to you in a sexual way
A girl is playing with you in a sexual way
If its all of the above this is absoloutly 100% normal....... (read in full...)
My wife's sister openly flirts with me and "accidently" walked into the bathroom wearing just her panties!
Q. Do many young girls flirt (and more) with older men? My wife's younger sister has openly flirted with me many times and touches me and last summer she "accidently" walked into the bathroom wearing just her panties. Ever since I married her sist...
A. 19 December 2011: ok lets get some things clear here... when you mention young girls are you talking someone in their teens, 20's 30's 40's or 50's?
To me a young girl is someone under 20.
I'm curious as to why you would use that phrase. Is there a very lar... (read in full...)
I kissed my 1/2 brother. Is it illegal?
Q. Okay... I will admit and I feel EXTREMELY guilty for it... I kissed my half-brother and I KNOW its wrong.... but I wanna know out of curiousity sakes: is what I did illegal?...
A. 19 December 2011: thats not an easy one to answer.
Each country, and each state within the US has different laws. You would need to look into your own states laws.
Incest can mean simply sexual intercourse, but it can also mean other sexual acts. Kissing a ... (read in full...)
My b/f says that since I have been with others, he needs to have that experience too
Q. my bf and i have been together for 3 yrs now. I was with other men before we got together but i was his first. i love him very much and he says he feels the same but he wants to be with other women. he says that since i have been with other men he ...
A. 19 December 2011: he wants to have his cake and eat it.
Your past relationships are none of his business... but in my time of being on DC I have read so many letters of a similar vein written by the partner or by the person who is upset about their partners... (read in full...)
I want to give this girl a present, should I make up a story or just give her the present?
Q. Hey there! I hope you can help me out. A few weeks ago I met a girl who was helping out with casting. We hit it off pretty well so before she left I asked if she'd like to hang out sometime and she said she did, so I asked for her number. ...
A. 19 December 2011: hmmmmmm this is difficult.
From what I understand you have only really talked to this girl a handfull of times, and she has also let you down by not returning calls.
If I was you I would be inviting her out again, and seeing if her excuses were... (read in full...)
My brother and I are both gay but how do I talk to him about it?
Q. hey, so it's not really like a conflict, but my brother and I both happen to be gay. I'm in high school and he's in college, and just this last time he came home to visit with his gay (platonic) friend. Three of us went on a car ride and eventually ...
A. 19 December 2011: its no different to two straight brothers asking for tips on dating.
When he visits over xmas why dont you simply ask him how he met his boyfriend, at least then the door is open and more conversation can flow. You can follow by asking how did ... (read in full...)
We are just friends but could there be more?
Q. Hi there . Here's my little dilemma : I have a friend , she;s a colleague , we study at the same college . Short story , first we didn't speak to much , after one night when we studied together we talked every night for the next couple weeks (the ...
A. 19 December 2011: wow, perhaps the weirdness is that she has been giving you all the signs but you havent made a move. I'm guessing the sexual tension could have been cut with a knife. She has invited you to her place 4 times, she lets you into her personal space ... (read in full...)
How do I lose the fat from my butt?
Q. hi how can i lose weight of my butt? or build more muscle on it?? and how can i tell if my butt is mostly muscle or fat? im skinny (10stone) but i have a huge ass.. i think its genetic cos my dad has a ass (my mum said thats what she was at...
A. 19 December 2011: ok first things first... and others may not agree.
You cannot target weight loss. Weight loss happens throughout the body and it depends on the types of adipose tissue as to where it comes of first. So... yes you can lose weight but it will be ... (read in full...)
Irregular periods are making me nervous about having children in the future, what should I do?
Q. Just want some readers opinions on this. I've been tracking my menstrual cycle and in this year alone (2011), ive so far had 6 periods. Obviously this is different to the 'typical' woman who may have 1 every month or so. It's making me nervo...
A. 19 December 2011: hiya hun
Thankyou for updating us all.
If I was in your position I would be popping to the doctors to check that all is well with ovulation. Get them to monitor you to ensure your ovulating properly. That way you will know if there is indeed ... (read in full...)
I feel so alone... Any ideas on how to make my life more meaningful and happy??
Q. Hi everyone. I hope you can help me please. I feel so alone and I don't want to feel this way anymore. I'm a 33 year old guy, I got into a relationship when I was 21 and that lasted until just 2 years ago. I have never been the social type...
A. 18 December 2011: hiya hun
your post is somewhat too familiar. Ive been almost in your shoes... although my depression did not make me suicidal (I have 2 young children and the thought of what that would do to them and what I would miss out on was probably the reas... (read in full...)
He has chewed me up and spat me back out... again!
Q. Last friday my ex mm broke nc again I was firm and told him where to go - even rejecting his calls after which he texted me "ouch no need for that" I was v proud of myself I had NEVER rejected a call from him before after this he bega bombarding me ...
A. 18 December 2011: If your serious about going no contact... Then get a new phone and DO NOT transfer his number over. Call your phone provider and block his number incoming and outgoing. Shred your old phone and some, and block his number at home. Block him on ... (read in full...)
He has chewed me up and spat me back out... again!
Q. Last friday my ex mm broke nc again I was firm and told him where to go - even rejecting his calls after which he texted me "ouch no need for that" I was v proud of myself I had NEVER rejected a call from him before after this he bega bombarding me ...
A. 18 December 2011: If your serious about going no contact... Then get a new phone and DO NOT transfer his number over. Call your phone provider and block his number incoming and outgoing. Shred your old phone and some, and block his number at home. Block him on ... (read in full...)
I thought he liked me and would want something more out of this?
Q. I met this guy in college a year ago, we worked together in group assignments a lot since then. We never spoke heaps but we when we did it was usually quite deep and we look at each other a lot. He is sometimes really abrasive, it is his ...
A. 15 December 2011: I agree with the other poster... if you want something then you have the power to make it happen. Whats stopping you phoning him?
HOWEVER... you have mentioned he is into drugs. Is this the sort of person you can see yourself spending your lif... (read in full...)
What can I do in bed to drive my bf wild?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for a while and I always think of all the things I want to do to him like tie him up and blindfold him so that I can do whatever I want with him. I alluded that I had something I wanted to try out the next time I saw him ...
A. 15 December 2011: just for the record. I had a boyfriend who even now (15 years later - were still friends, and i am friends with his now wife) still comments that the time I tied him up and gave him a tease and denial handjob for about an hour was one of the most ... (read in full...)
What can I do in bed to drive my bf wild?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for a while and I always think of all the things I want to do to him like tie him up and blindfold him so that I can do whatever I want with him. I alluded that I had something I wanted to try out the next time I saw him ...
A. 15 December 2011: start slowly!
Why dont you get a blindfold and then give him a bj/go on top? By removing one of his senses (actually a huge one as most men are very visual) he has to concentrate on what it feels like.
If he enjoyed that then next time why no... (read in full...)
My second marriage, his first... what is the proper way to go about this? Is it inappropriate to have a bridal shower, bachelorette party, register for gifts? Standard wedding dress or something a little more low key?
Q. This will be my second wedding and my fiance's first. I was married for 5 yrs and it didnt work out. My fiance and i dated for a yr and then he asked me to marry him. This is his first so i want him and his family to experience the whole "first ...
A. 15 December 2011: your way overthinking this!
Its a WEDDING!
This is your 2nd (not your 22nd) and its his FIRST.
If your concerned about the comments from a bridal shower, then why not go more individual and run a Groom Gathering? Same thing but for the g... (read in full...)
Is this online guy a player?
Q. Here's the deal. I met this guy online and started talking to him (after a long ordeal of me ignoring him) and we eventually started hitting it off. We have a lot in common, have the same views about life and are physically/intellectually attracted ...
A. 15 December 2011: hot to agree with cerebus 100%, Ive been duped once by a guy like this (who actually was much better at his game), but now I can see through it.... Chalk it up to experience.
As for his double profile... I would have just sent a friend request,... (read in full...)
I have sexual feelings for men as well as women, am I bi?
Q. I am 18 and have always had some sexual feelings towards men as well as women. I assumed everybody goes through this as a teenager, although the feelings are still there. I am sure I will be marrying a woman eventually as my feeling for females is ...
A. 15 December 2011: If straight is black, and Gay is white... then there is a whole spectrum of shades of grey in between.
Sexuality isnt something that can be pigeonholed as easily as straight, gay or bi.
There are straight people who have had feelings for sam... (read in full...)
Is it appropriate to bring gift for my colleagues from my country?
Q. This is my first carrier in the US. I’m going back to my country and when I come back I want to bring some chocolate and goodies from my country for few of my collegues that I don’t know them well and also more gifts for two executive directors, ...
A. 15 December 2011: hiya
its is very appropriate. At this time of year especially!
Can I suggest though that to prevent any sort of gossips/noses out of joint that you do two things.
Buy one bigger box of choccys for the people in the office you work in. Let ... (read in full...)
Gf of 5 years has no affection or feelings for me, has kept me and our relationship hidden from her family and friends and doesn't ever intend telling them!
Q. Been with gf nearly 5 years now. Last 3 years the relationship has slowly died out. We have sex onece a month now ifI'm lucky, but she only does it for me. She makes no effort to participate, all she does is lay there until ive finished then ge...
A. 15 December 2011: oh dear
your gut feeling is correct. She is staying because its easier to know someone loves you than to go it alone.
Leave her, now. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
x... (read in full...)
Fingering hurts!
Q. So, my boyfriend has been fingering me and when he puts his finger up my vag, it feels like so much pressure but it's kind of uncomfortable. Idk if this is because its new..but ahhhh! What should I do!? ...
A. 15 December 2011: have you had an orgasm?
Do you masturbate?
I think you need to know how to please yourself before you can expect him to.
Learn and explore what feels good to you, most often its clitoral stimulation thats needed to bring a woman to orgasm. Whe... (read in full...)
Does he really think of me as just a friend?
Q. I asked a guy out at the end of September that I had been crushing on for the whole summer. (he's 29 I'm 21). I was proud of myself that I was so straight forward with him. I asked him on a date and he explained he didn't have time. So, I straight ...
A. 14 December 2011: do nothing. If he wants to ask you out the ball is now in his court.
He knows your are/were interested and his actions MAY be him trying to gauge if you still are. This MAY be because he has decided he does fancy you (perhaps the break from see... (read in full...)
Men: Who hasn't cheated? I'd like to know why.
Q. Are there any men out there that have NEVER cheated on their girlfriend, or wife? I mean - no form of cheating. No online flirting, no emotional cheating .. etc. If so, what made you stay faithful? ...
A. 14 December 2011: women cheat too.... for the exact same reasons as men.
Therefore women dont cheat for the same reasons
* they love their partner
* they respect themselves and their partner
*even if they have fallen out of love with their partner they resp... (read in full...)
When my boyfriend fights with his ex, he comes to me with it, should I be bothered?
Q. My boyfriend is lovely man who has 2 children. He does everything for his kids, but when him and his ex argue (which isn't often), he always comes running to me - they then make up. He mentions her when he comes to my house. I have told him to stop ...
A. 14 December 2011: is this the same question?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/it-drives-me-insane-when-my-boyfriend-talks.html... (read in full...)
It drives me insane when my boyfriend talks about his ex!
Q. My boyfriend has 2 children - he is a very hands on dad which is brilliant. His ex is seeing someone else and she seems ok and I know he is besotted with me. However, when they argue, he always comes running to me and tells me everything. Then the ...
A. 14 December 2011: oh dear...
He has baggage. He has 2 children and also an ex he can never avoid due to the kids. He will always have a relationship with her (not romantic or sexual).
She isnt a threat to your relationsip, however she will ALWAYS be in the... (read in full...)
She's in the early stages of a divorce fighting over a child. Do I sit back?
Q. I recently met a woman, who is in the earliest possible stage of divorce. She has a child with her husband, and he is fighting the divorce because he refuses to go a day without that child. I over the past several months have fallen in love with ...
A. 14 December 2011: When you say "stay the course"... exactly what do you mean?
Are you talking about getting involved in the fighting and arguments... or are you talking about being there to support her after another row?
If its the first... then back off. If its... (read in full...)
Irregular periods are making me nervous about having children in the future, what should I do?
Q. Just want some readers opinions on this. I've been tracking my menstrual cycle and in this year alone (2011), ive so far had 6 periods. Obviously this is different to the 'typical' woman who may have 1 every month or so. It's making me nervo...
A. 30 November 2011: Hiya
Just wanted to add to KC's excellent advice.
You mention your periods are irregular and that you have had 6 cycles this year so far.
How irregular are they? Is there still a pattern?
Some womens cycle is much shorter or longer ... (read in full...)
| *luecow's friends
These are mutual friends, so *luecow has
added them and they have added *luecow!
|
