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Loved her more than life itself, and I just can't get over my ex!

Q.   Starting to go crazy now :( A few months ago now, my fiance left me. And as you could probabily guess, I was devastated. I love this woman more than, well, life itself. The reason she left me was because my depression was too much for her ...

A.   15 August 2005: Im sorry to hear how you feel. I have also had depression and know what its like. You have to pull yourself together though. Your relationship with your ex is over. Keep it as a happy memory. You say you dont get out much. You need to go out and ... (read in full...)

Cheated with my husband's brother, but he's acting like it was all my doing!

Q.   I'm with a partner of 14 years. I had an affair before but ended it. My partner forgave me. The thing is, I've always been a bit friendly with my partner's brother in law. Well we met up at a family party and he thought it would be a good idea to ...

A.   15 August 2005: You should be ashamed of yourself. Fair enough, your brother in law met up with you but it was YOU who approached him in the first place, so of course he will be blaming you for the whole thing. Also, you make it sound acceptable to have affa... (read in full...)

Is it my trust issue, or is there more going on with my fiancee and her new friend?

Q.   I am 31 years old, and I've been seeing my fiancee for over four years. We were supposed to be getting married in October, but due to our current problems, we've pushed it back to next November (2006). One of the reasons for our pushing it b...

A.   15 August 2005: Fair enough, there is nothing to stop her going out with friends....... but every night???? This is not acceptable. You have to tell her how you feel about this. Go out with her on more of these nights out and get to know what this man is like. I... (read in full...)

If he's not ready to agree to another child, how bad would it be to trick him?

Q.   Hi, I have three children, (36) husband is (42). I told him I want another, my youngest set of twins just turned 6. I feel I waited enough time, he used to say financially he didn't know. We are doing fine now. I think he is just stalling. I'm ...

A.   15 August 2005: Just because a lot of women do it doesnt mean its right. How would you feel if your husband tricked you with a life changing event? You need to talk about this again with your husband and tell him how unhappy this is making you.... (read in full...)

She's lying when she says she doesn't want me back, I'm sure of it!

Q.   My girlfriend and I have broken up after a year; she says she does not want anything to with me. I know she is lying and trying to be strong for the both of us because she doesn't want to hurt me or me to hurt her. She still loves me and she feels ...

A.   12 August 2005: You cant win her back, shes made her decision and you must respect this. I think you sound rather deluded over the reasons that you broke up. Why would she be acting like this if she wanted to be with you. Its time to take off your rose tinted spec... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's folks took his cell phone, to punish him, but now we can't talk!

Q.   I'm 17 and so is my boyfriend. We go to the same school and he recently got a cell phone with the same company I have so that we can talk whenever we want. His parents don't like me because I've made him come home late a few time and because of that ...

A.   12 August 2005: To gain their trust, you will have to let them get to know you personally. If this is possible, it would be a good idea, but they may not want anything to do with you in which case, there is not a lot you can do.... (read in full...)

Would I seem like a stalker if I asked his friend for his email address?

Q.   Hi, About 3 months ago I worked with a guy who is about 10 years older than me. We saw each other enough times so that we would stop to chat in the corridor but after 3 weeks he left to move to another job. I thought nothing more about it un...

A.   12 August 2005: I dont think it would be inappropriate to ask for his email address, write to him but if he doesnt reply, dont push it.... (read in full...)

I don't feel I can ever look good enough for him, because he always says something negative about my appearance!

Q.   hello I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a few days now. He is four years older than I am. He's a great person overall and I love him very much. He always shows me a lot of love and so I feel very loved by him but I have one problem...

A.   12 August 2005: Why is he going out with you if he doesnt find you attractive? He is doing this for one (or maybe both) of two reasons. one could be that he is not happy with his own appearance and critisising yours will make him feel better about hims... (read in full...)

My sister's boyfriend almost raped me and I'm afraid to see him at school!

Q.   I'm 14 and recently I was almost raped by my big sister's 16 yr old b/f. My sis had to go to the shop and we were left in the house ourselves in which time he kissed me. I pulled away immediatly and asked what he thought he was doing. After constant ...

A.   12 August 2005: You need to tell someone about this, either your sister or your parents. He should not be allowed to get away with this. What would have happened if you hadnt got away? How would you feel if he did the same thing to your sister or another girl? You ... (read in full...)

They never meet, but they know about each other. Which of my two loves to choose

Q.   I am 20 years old, and I am very confused. I am in love with two different people. One is an ex and, one a long time friend. I'm not dating either one, but I am making it very difficult for both since I am with both of them. They never meet, bu...

A.   12 August 2005: You have to choose who would be best for you and make your decision quickly. These men wont hang around forever waiting for you to decide who you like best. If you carry on in this manner, you will end up with no-one.... (read in full...)

We love each other, but he's still angry with me. How I we work things out?

Q.   I started dating my ex-boyfriend when I was 17. We dated for 3 years and I moved out of the country to continue my education. We still kept in touch for another 3 years. Distance strained the relationship for a while until he finally told me he ...

A.   12 August 2005: Of course his other girlfriend made you working things out together difficult, hes going out with her now! Lets look at the facts, you live far apart, and hes got a girlfriend. It looks liike he has moved on with his life and i suggest you give him ... (read in full...)

Can I win him back from his new girlfriend?

Q.   My boyfriend of three years broke up with me recently, claiming the feelings just weren't there anymore, and it wasn't working. Now, he claims to have a new girlfriend. I'm still wholeheartedly in love with the guy. Any advice on winning him b...

A.   12 August 2005: If he doesnt want to be with you, then there is nothing you can do to win him back.... (read in full...)

My fiance lied about his past sexual history, and I feel like I can't move past it!

Q.   I am 19. I have been with my fiance for 2 years. I love him very much and we're expecting our 1st child. I have never been in a serious relationship before, so from the beginning all I asked of him was to tell me the truth. I was a virgin when I m...

A.   12 August 2005: He probably thought you wouldnt like him as much if he told you the truth in the beginning. He obviously trusts you more now to be able to confess to this. You will have to put this behind you if not for yourself then for the sake of your chil... (read in full...)

I think I'm pregnant and my boyfriend now says we should see other people...

Q.   My bf can be very nasty sometimes and I think I'm pregnant. He has now told me I can meet other boys. I dont know what to make of this or what to do. Any ideas?...

A.   11 August 2005: First of all, you will have to tell your boyfriend that you are pregnant, whatever his reaction to the news may be, he has a right to know. When he knows all the facts, then you must sit down and work out where your relationship goes from here... (read in full...)

Why has our sex life almost dwindled to nothing? I do all the work and my boyfriend just lies there waiting for oral sex...

Q.   Hiya Everyone! :oP I've been in my relationship for 2 years now. I don't understand how my sex life with my boyfriend has gone from really physical to almost nothing? It feels as though I am always instigating it. Then when he turns me down wh...

A.   11 August 2005: This doesnt sound like a good relationship to be in. He gets all the benefits and what do you get? nothing but insults. Tell him how you feel and if he refuses to change then i would end the relationship as he hss no regrd for your feelings.... (read in full...)

There's always a new excuse for his drinking and pot-smoking. Am I overreacting?

Q.   I really need help to figure out if I am overreacting to my boyfriend's drinking and pot use. He drinks or smokes pot every single day, sometimes both, especially on the weekends, but not exclusively on the weekends. He does not, and never has had ...

A.   11 August 2005: His drinking habits certainly sound a bit out of control. If you have told him and you are sure that you dont want to live with a man who smokes pot and drinks to excess and he has not taken any steps to change, then you have to ask yourself if y... (read in full...)

He's not as affectionate as he once was. Should I cheat to make him more interested in me?

Q.   My boyfriend doesn't call me or visit as much as he used to. He tells me he loves me but these days his actions makes me doubt him. He also doesn't kiss me that much anymore as well. I'm beginning to think that there might be someone else but he's...

A.   11 August 2005: Of course not! You certainly cant have any love for your boyfriend if you are considering cheating on him.... (read in full...)

I slept with my ex, so my girlfriend broke it off. How can I get her back?

Q.   How do I get my goddess back? I've been so stupid and I have cheated on her for a while now with my ex. She found out once before and took me back. Unfortunately my ex is friends with my family and is around on weekends and my goddesses ex com...

A.   11 August 2005: You need to leave this girl to get on with her own life. You have ruined the 2 chances you had with her.... (read in full...)

I'm 14 and flirting with a married man

Q.   Dear Agony Helper, I am 14 years old and i work for my parents as they own a chinese takeaway. There is also a guy who works for my parents and he does the delivery. He is married and has 4 kids, he's in his 40s....

A.   10 August 2005: This man is a paedophile! Tell your parents what he has been doing and dont ever have anything to do with him again.... (read in full...)

My partner won't let me view his emails

Q.   I am living with my partner. He has 3 different email addresses with passwords. I cannot access this and feel he is being secretive as he spends a lot of time on the net. I have asked him about passwords but he said tha we both needed our own ...

A.   10 August 2005: You have to tell him how you feel about this. Ask him to see his emails once to set your mind at ease and then let the matter rest. Ask him not to spend so much time on the internet and suggest activities you can take part in together.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend went to see a strip-show in Amsterdam!

Q.   Hi, Please can you help me? I have been going out with my boyfriend for 2 years, 1 year ago he went to Amsterdam and watched a sex show and went to see strippers. When he came back form there i told him that i was really upset that he felt...

A.   10 August 2005: Personally I dont see the problem of him visiting strippers as it has only happened on holiday and he is not doing it all the time. If he was, then it would be a problem. Tell him in future if he goes to see strippers on holiday that youd rather not ... (read in full...)

My fiancee's sister takes drugs and tells lies. Now she's involved me!

Q.   My fiancee have been dating for 1 year and 1/2. We plan to marry after she completes school. My problems lie within the family. I respect her father very much and got along with both parents until something terrible brewed up. She has a 19 year ...

A.   10 August 2005: Surely they dont truly believe this girls lies as she has lied about similar things in the past. Talk to them and tell them the the truth. If they dont know about any aspects of their daughters wayward activities, then now is the time to tell them... (read in full...)

He bought me a car to make up for the lack of attention and care...

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been living together for 13 years. For several months now he has treated me more like the maid than anything else - no physical attention or kind words, he sleeps on the couch (because his snoring is so bad) and snaps at ...

A.   10 August 2005: You will have to tell him that rather than buying you cars to clear his conscience, he needs to pay you more attention. Tell him what you want from the relationship and work ouyt how you can achieve this together. He must know he has been negl... (read in full...)

Big Question No. 2 How do I meet someone who will love me for who I am?

Q.   I'm 24 and I've never had a boyfriend. I'm 6 stone overweight but am not unattractive and don't understand why I have such bad luck. I've tried all the diets and everything but none of it works. How do I meet a nice guy who'll love me for me? I ...

A.   10 August 2005: You have to get out and meet as many people as possible to give you a better chance of meeting mr. right. Be confident in yourself and talk to new people and people will want to spend time with you. Your weight is not the issue here, your conf... (read in full...)

My friend said our bond was "sick". He's 90 and I'm his carer.

Q.   I work as a carer for a 90 year old man in his home. We have, over time, formed a special bond and are in love. He wants to get married but I can't face telling my family as I recently confided in a friend who said the relationship was 'sick' and ...

A.   10 August 2005: If you wish to get married to him, then there is nothing that anyone can do to stop you. However, have you really thought it through? Relationships between nurses and patients are not allowed-even if you are caring for them in their own home. Do yo... (read in full...)

Why does my girlfriend need drugs to feel normal?

Q.   Hi, Please will someone help me? I'm not sure why, but my girlfriend has to use to drugs to help her feel normal. This has started since she found out her ex b/f is seeing her cousin. Her ex was abusive and now she's changed, she's started us...

A.   10 August 2005: This girl is most likely using drugs to block out unhappy memories. You have to talk to her, tell her how worried you are and let her know that you are there for her. Unfortunately, there is not much else you can do unless she is willing to help... (read in full...)

Big Question No 1: What is true love?

Q.   Hello readers What is true love? I've been in relationships but they alway end in tears. Two of them appeared like they could last forever. Is it passion? Is it friendship? If any one knows can you let me know....

A.   10 August 2005: Irish49's quote is also my favourite! You will know when it is true love as it will be different to all the other times.... (read in full...)

When my (male) friends call, he never believes that they're just friends; he accuses me of having an affair!

Q.   My boyfriend is very jealous! I have quite a few friends including male friends as I am a very friendly person. All my male friends are only friends, nothing more, but he can't seem to accept that; if a male friend calls me, he thinks I have an ...

A.   10 August 2005: Why is he marrying you if he doesnt trust you? I would say its not a good idea to get married if there is no trust. Let him meet some of your male friends if he hasnt done so already, perhaps you could all go out together.... (read in full...)

My friend is happy to kiss and hug me, but he's afraid to ruin our friendship by dating...

Q.   I have known this guy for 5yrs and in the last few months we have become good friends and socialise with the same people. I have recently admitted to our friends and to him that I fancy him, and had responses that he does like me to but doesn’t want ...

A.   10 August 2005: If he doesnt want to go out with you, then theres not much you can do to change his mind. Tell him you want him to stop kissing and hugging you as you think this is an inappropriate way for friends to behave and you only want to kiss your boyf... (read in full...)

I feel rejected because my partner "just doesn't like" having sex during my periods...

Q.   I'm wondering whether I'm making a fuss over nothing, as it's hard to get men's honest opinions on this: should I be bothered that my partner "just doesn't like" making love during my periods. For the record, he is not squeamish about anything else ...

A.   9 August 2005: If the relationship is fine in every other way then i wouldnt worry about this. Im sure he does appreciate all the benefits of your periods but its not fair to make him do something he doesnt want to. If i was a man, i wouldnt want to do it either!!... (read in full...)

Does the 7-year itch cover visits to prostitutes?

Q.   My partner of 7 years recently visited a prostitute. They didn't have full sex and he admitted to me what he had done the day after. He said that his reason for going was that as I had been the only woman he had ever been with he had got curious ...

A.   9 August 2005: He wanted to see what sex with someone else was like so he went to a prostitute? What a lame excuse. I would end the relationshiop immediately as if you tolerate what he has done, he will only do it again.... (read in full...)

We met at a camp and she's everything I could want. How can I prevent this from becoming a failure?

Q.   Hi, my name is Ken. I'm 21 year old, still in college. I'm here to seek for relationship advices hopefully will me onto the right direction. I met this girl at a diversity camp that we both attended this past weekend. When I first saw her, I...

A.   9 August 2005: Why not write her an email just to say hello and go from there. She must have liked you in the first place to give you her email.... (read in full...)

How to make him see that I won't fall in love all over again?

Q.   So I have been with my Guy for a total of six years, 3 of those years we been married. We have just fallen apart. He has always been really insecure and always has had jealous issues. (I couldn't have friends and if I did go out with friends I had a ...

A.   9 August 2005: Well done for seperating from this controlling man. Why did you go back? As far as ending the relationship goes, you have sit him down and tell him firmly its over. Get maore paperwork to make it official and keep it safe this time. If you can, mov... (read in full...)

Sex is at my request, but then it seems like he can't wait to get rid of me!

Q.   Ok me and this guy have been dating on and off for almost 5 years now. He lives 30 mins. aways from me, so it hard for us to see each other, but I knew that getting into this. Now the times he does see me, he acts as if we are only friends, that ...

A.   9 August 2005: Youre not dating, youre having sex. This mans lack of affections towards you should tell you that he doesnt want you to be his girlfriend. As for the sex, you say that its only when you 'need it'? Hes probably just taking advantage of a free rid... (read in full...)

We're so in love after only a month. What do we do next?

Q.   Hi, I have met this guy on the net and we talk on the phone every day and send pics of each other. It's only been happening about a month this friendship and he lives say 5 hours or so away from me. We have so hit it off; we want to get marr...

A.   9 August 2005: What age are you? you sound about 13. Get a grip, you have never even met this man, for all you know, everything he has told you about himself may be a pack of lies. Also, your relationship cant be so serios if you are still afraid to tell your mum... (read in full...)

Never know what to say to guys. Am I getting stupider?

Q.   Hey, this is gonna sound like a very weird problem. I used to be very intelligent, but for the past year or so I feel like I'm getting stupid, resulting in guys losing interest in me, as I can't even hold a conversation down. I never know what to ...

A.   9 August 2005: Do you feel like you are getting 'stupider' in general? If so then you may be having concentration problems. See your GP and tell him that you are having problems, he should be able to advise.... (read in full...)

He wants time to concentrate on his football. He doesn't even want me to text him!

Q.   Where do I start? I have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year, we've been on several holidays together, have talked about getting a mortgage together and just last week talked of getting engaged. He always tells me he loves me and he used to ...

A.   9 August 2005: If he has chosen football over you (which he apparently has) then you need to tell him that it is not good enough. Why should you wait around for scraps of his time and affection? Tell him that either he makes time for you and your relationship as w... (read in full...)

I snooped in her email account, I snooped in her mobile. I found out the truth about her best friend, but she's broken up with me over it...

Q.   I’ve been with my girlfriend for about year, and about 8 months of our relationship has been troubled by her best friend (female), who is in love with my girlfriend and whom my girlfriend has had sex with twice before I we ever met. My girlfrie...

A.   9 August 2005: I think you shoukd try and move on. Fair enough, it was wrong of you to snoop through her things, but it has revealed to you what you suspected all along- that your girlfriend has been lying to you. Why should you continue in a relation... (read in full...)

I can't marry her, because we're both with different people. So what should I do?

Q.   Dear Cupid. I happen to have had a girlfriend who had a baby with some guy before we met. I also had a baby with my first girlfriend and she knows. Now the time came when she asked me that she wanted to go back to the father of her son and I th...

A.   9 August 2005: Of course you cant marry her! Youre both with other people. sHe made the decision to be with the father of her child and you helped her to do it. So when did you decide you want her back? In my opinion, you have made your beds, now you must lie... (read in full...)

After a raunchy text from my ex, I don't know if he wants me back...

Q.   I split from my ex a year ago, but I am still madly in love with him. He was my first 'real' boyfriend and I love him. He does have a new girlfriend but she gets jealous of me easily. My ex and I were friends when we were kids and his girlfriend ...

A.   9 August 2005: If hes got a girlfriend then he shouldnt be sending you suggestive texts. Why did you break up with him in the first place? Tell him to stop texting.... (read in full...)

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