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The guy I want in friendly and polite to me, but I want to tell him that I love him...

Q.   How do I tell that I love him? I met a guy in the university.W e learn in the same class. He's very polite and friendly but he has many friends especially girls. I love him at first sight. I want to tell him that I love him but I afraid he will ang...

A.   18 July 2005: Ask him if he wants to go out for a drink. the worst he can say is no and at least then you will know where you stand and that you have tried.... (read in full...)

An old email has made my girlfriend think I don't want her as much as I do!

Q.   My GF is great. She is the mother of my daughter and she also has one son. She was recently looking through my computer and found an e-mail that was sent to me by someone. It was very detailed and romantic. I no longer have anything to do with ...

A.   18 July 2005: tell her again that you have nothjing more to do with this person and change your email so that they cant contact you any more. reassure your girlfriend by paying her compliments, taking her out and making her feel special.... (read in full...)

My feelings went kind of strange when I learned she'd had an abortion...

Q.   Hi I have liked a girl for a while, and we went on a date and things went great, and then I found out shd'd had an abortion 7 or so months ago and it's made me feel a bit strange about it all. Do you have any advice?...

A.   18 July 2005: This girl probably wants to put her abortion in the past where i think you should put it too. She must have had genuine reasons to go through with an abortion and she will probably still be upset about it. If you feel you cant discuss it with her... (read in full...)

We just can't have sex. It's too painful for me!

Q.   I am virgin and my bf is not. Recently, we have had several attempts for sex. The first time, it seemed that he could put it in about half way. I didn't bleed at all. Since then, all the times we attempted to have sex, I feel pain . We were not ...

A.   18 July 2005: Talk to your doctor, this is a common problem and you may get referred for counseling. It doesnt measn theres anything wrong with you.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend says nothing is happening with his ex, but I'm sure it is!

Q.   My live in boyfriend is cheating with his ex. He says he's not cheating. Everything that I say is wrong and it turns into an arguement. Please I need help. I love him but it is hard to even think he is with her. How do I prove to him that I am rig...

A.   18 July 2005: You didnt say what he was doing with the ex so its hard to reply to your problem. If you have solid proof, i would end the realtionship. Ask him to stop seeing his ex as this is inappropriate now that you are together.... (read in full...)

Why would he protect someone else, at the expense of our relationship?

Q.   My fiance and I have been together for 7 months and he recently informed me he went snooping in my past and asked people at work who all I dated from there. He promised this other person he would not tell me who told. I feel betrayed because ...

A.   18 July 2005: He shouldnt have snooped. Did he find out anything untoward? probably not. Possibly, there was no 'person' who told him things and this is why he cant name them. I would make it clear to him he need s to trust you and not snoop in your past ag... (read in full...)

My partner changed his mind about marrying me and I couldn't face a holiday with him. Now I'm the bad guy...

Q.   I am 45, my partner 53. We have been together off and on for 8 years (he would not commit). I got tired of waiting and met someone else. He begged me to go back to him and move in, which I did. He also asked me to marry him. I have always got on w...

A.   18 July 2005: Im sorry but I think the best thing you can do is get out of this relationship. It doesnt sound like a nice situation to be in at all and i dont think things will change. If you want to try again, set down firm (but fair) ground rules for him to f... (read in full...)

She wants to quit having sex and just be friends, but I want it to continue...

Q.   I am going out with a girl for 3yrs. We have a full relationship. She is my senior in medical college and now she wants to stop the relation as she says that since we are not getting married we should just stay as friends and all sexual relations ...

A.   18 July 2005: What a nasty man you are! "I cant marry her in case I find someone better"? with that attitude you will never find anyone nice. I think that this girl has become wise to you and has gotten you out of her life now that she sees she has no future w... (read in full...)

This "friend" has already moved in on my social crowd, now she's texting my boyfriend!

Q.   I used to hang round with a guy through whom I met a girl. We got to be very close mates. Her boyfriend and mine were mates and I decided to introduce her to everybody I knew, invite her into the crowd, you know how it is. Anyway she has now star...

A.   18 July 2005: No you are not wrong to be annoyed! This girl has taken advantage of your kindness. Tell her to stop phoning and texting your boyfriend NOW. If she continues, I would ask him to change his number (he shouldnt be texting her anyway). This girl is ... (read in full...)

My friend is a tomboy and I think she should change that...

Q.   My best friend is a tomboy. I really want to change her to be more girly because we're in university now. What can I do to change her? ...

A.   18 July 2005: You cant. she has the right to be who she wants.... (read in full...)

My best friend stopped speaking to me and I don't know why!

Q.   Hi, I'm 18 years old and now studying in university. I have problem with my close friend who I have known for 4 years when we in grade 9. Now we are in different faculty. At first we still keep in touch, but recently when I met him at university he...

A.   18 July 2005: Yes, what hes done is rather bad. Hes probably very busy with his studies and has made new friends on his course that are taking up his time. If you get a chance to talk to him tell him how you feel. This often happens with friends when they ha... (read in full...)

It feels like she just doesn't love me any more...

Q.   I have been with my girlfriend for 5 1/2 years, we are both heavily involved with each other and have been through a lot. We are now living together and things have become "comfortable". The problem is that she never shows any affection towards me, ...

A.   18 July 2005: It does sound like you are trying a bit hard. If you think she has something on her mind ask her. All relationships become 'comfortable' after a while so I wouldnt worry about this too much.... (read in full...)

My friend's mother doesn't approve of the 8-years difference...

Q.   My Friend is falling in love with an older woman. She is older than my friend by 8 years. But when his mother found out, she told my friend to break up. But he tell everyone this is a true love. What should he do with this problem?...

A.   18 July 2005: It depends what age your friend is. I think if hes at least 20 he should tell his mum its none of her business. However, if he is younger, I would tend to agree with his mother.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend takes "exclusivity" very literally!

Q.   The man I love doesn't want to be with me unless he can be with me literally for 24 hrs a day. Wwhat is your advice?...

A.   18 July 2005: Tell him he cant be with you 24 hours a day. If he gets cross I would be wary as he may become a controlling partner later on.... (read in full...)

Things were looking up, then she backed away fast. What can I do?

Q.   I have been talking to this girl for a couple of weeks on the phone. Recently we talk for several hours over the phone and really enjoy it. The only problem was that she said she had been hurt a lot recently by guys and wasn't really sure what she ...

A.   17 July 2005: I think afetr your short fling this girl realised that she wasnt ready for a relatioship. I think it was very good of her to tell you this. respect her wishes and remain friends.... (read in full...)

Should I let him stay in jail?

Q.   My, friend is in trouble with some people he "works" for.....last night a lot of stuff happened....now he's in jail for something I know he didn't do, I need to make $250 to get him out, my parents say he's safer in there, should i bail him out or ...

A.   17 July 2005: If you have the money to bail him out and wish to do so, do it but remember, he may still be found guilty of the crime and if hes in trouble, perhaps he is guilty of something.... (read in full...)

My past history is coming back to haunt me. Now my boyfriend won't trust me!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months now and he still does not trust me. The summer before I met my boyfriend was pretty crazy and I did a lot of stupid things and he knows about it all. He says the stuff I did in the past are his ...

A.   17 July 2005: Only time will get him to trust you again. If you continue to be the changed person you are now, then your boyfriend will begin to trust you again.... (read in full...)

We joke and flirt and sometimes text, but would he really be interested in me?

Q.   Hey, Recently I realised that I like my friend's brother and also told my friend, but asked her not to tell him. I was wondering if he likes me because, there have been many incidents when we are play fighting and saying flirty things to eac...

A.   17 July 2005: He probably does like you but doesnt think he could go out with you because you are his sisters friend. I think if you want to take this nay further then you would have to be the one to ask him out.... (read in full...)

How do I have cybersex!?

Q.   I'm a pretty mexican lady and I have my cyberboyfriend and he ask me to have sex on the computer now I'm scared to dead because I never have sex like that on the stupid computer can somebody tell me what I can do sorry for my english!!!I'm a 43 ...

A.   17 July 2005: Basically you write what you would do during sex on the computer. I personally, do not see the appeal of this. ... (read in full...)

How do I get my husband to stop quitting everything he tries?

Q.   My husband and I have been married almost 2 years, and have a 1 year old son together. We are both 21, which I know is kind of young to get married. Things were horrible for the first year, with our intense little good moments to keep us through ...

A.   17 July 2005: I used to be like this myself with work (im 23) against the advice of friends and family i quit nearly everything i tried. Carry on telling your husband what you have been. Tell him that eventually he will have tried and quit everything and what... (read in full...)

It was my boyfriend's idea that we get married, but now I need to know how to bring it up with him again!

Q.   Last night my boyfriend suggested we get married. He just said something like, "After this summer let's start getting married." I laughed and he said, "I'm serious. Start looking for a dress and a place." I felt shy and changed the subj...

A.   17 July 2005: Maybe you could say something like "so, when are we getting married then?" and when he says 'after the summer' or whatever, you could say "youll have to ask me properly though" and see where it goes from there, hopefully, he should take the hint!... (read in full...)

I want to believe my girlfriend, but...

Q.   Two weeks ago my girlfriend spent the weekend with another man she told me they slept in the same bed but nothing happened. I want to belive she is not lying but i have my doubts. ...

A.   17 July 2005: It may be true it may not be, the only people who will ever know for sure are your girlfriend and the man. If you trust your girlfriend then youll have to believe her and try to put this behind you.... (read in full...)

Should I break up with him? He wants to date my friend, too!

Q.   I am a problem about my boyfriend. He told me he likes my friend and he asked me if he could talk and maybe go out with my friend sometimes. Last night I was crying while I was trying to sleep. I don't know what to do. I really love him, but ...

A.   17 July 2005: I would break up with him, he obviously doesnt respect you very much.... (read in full...)

I've been cheated on in the past and it's keeping me from trusting the man I love...

Q.   I have a problem trusting men that I have been involved with in the past or now. I made the mistake of not trusting my ex husband and he cheated on me because he was so frustated, or so he says. Now I live with the love of my life and we are plan...

A.   17 July 2005: Tell him how you feel and get reassurance from him that hes not doing, or going to do, anything to harm your relationship. Try to put the past behind you and move on, not all men are like your ex-husband.... (read in full...)

It seems that my friend and I are growing apart, and I'd like us back the way we were...

Q.   "Fix Friendship?" I'm having a problem with one of my closest friends. Lately it seems that we've been growing apart. Our mutual friends have been telling me that we are both saying things about each other behind our backs. I really want to improve ...

A.   17 July 2005: Try spending more time together. Unfortunately, this often happens with friends and they end up growing apart.... (read in full...)

Showing off my wheels got me in trouble... How do I get out of this?

Q.   Ok, I screwed up, I was showin off in the car a little and my g/f mom saw, and now she doesn't trust her daughter in the car with me, what can I do to gain her trust back?...

A.   17 July 2005: The only thing you can do is start seeing more of your girlfriends mum so she gets to know you and sees that you are not so bad after all.... (read in full...)

My husband and my sister laugh about me to my face...

Q.   I think my marriage is just about to be over me and my husband do nothing but fight anymore. He don't ever ask me to do anything with him. He always wants to hang out with my sister and her boyfriend and I just found out that I'm the topic of their ...

A.   17 July 2005: How dare they! I would have a serious word with both of them and make it clear that their 'jokes' upset you and you want them to stop....NOW! If they know you feel this way they may buck up their ideas and see what a couple of gits they are!... (read in full...)

What can I tell my friend when she asks if she should break off with her boyfriend?

Q.   Hi, I have a problem that I have a friend who always quarrels with her boyfriend about everything, but both of them do still love each other very much. She has asked for my opinion whether she should break off this relationship. What can I suggest ...

A.   17 July 2005: Tell her only she can decide whether she wants to stay in the relationship or not. tell her what you would do in her situation but dont tell her what to do.... (read in full...)

I think I've fallen in love with my old friend at uni, and he knows that I already have a boyfriend...

Q.   dear cupid I'm 18 years old. I'm freshy in university I know many friends. I've met my old friend. He and I study at the same university and faculty so we come back home together. We've become very close and I feel I have fall in love wit...

A.   17 July 2005: Keep him as a friend for now. If there comes a time when you are both single, then, perhaps you could consider asking him out.... (read in full...)

If he went soft when we were having sex, does it mean he wasn't enjoying it?

Q.   If 2 people are having sex and enjoying it, what does it mean if the guy goes soft half way through?? Does it mean he didnt like me? or wasnt enjoying himself? I'm filling my head with lots of rubbish and just need someone to tell me what it ...

A.   17 July 2005: Its just one of those things that happens to everyone from time to time. Please dont worry about it any more!... (read in full...)

My kids have chosen to live with their father, and I'd like us to be together as a family... just don't know if I can stand my ex!

Q.   I'm 54 years old, and I left my husband about four years ago. We haven't filed for divorce, we're just separated. I have a 24 year old son, and a 19 and a 16 year old daughter. My youngest is rebelious and depressed, and wants to move in with ...

A.   17 July 2005: If your kids want to live with their father, you will have to respect their wishes. Could you try to be civil with their father in order to maintain a 'family' bond? If you dont feel that you can do this, you will have to arrange to see your chil... (read in full...)

The marriage is only a year old and we've both changed...

Q.   I'm 22 years old and married for almost a year.I gained weight with my pregnancy, but I'm working out to lose it. I have a beautiful face but a full figure. I've lost 55 pounds before. I'll do it again within this year. We married early be...

A.   17 July 2005: You would have to treat him like the child that he is acting and tell him how to behave and set down ground rules and punishments if they are not met. Do you really want to be this mans mother as opposed to his wife?... (read in full...)

What can I do to win her back? I treated her badly in the past...

Q.   I have been dating this women for 3 years and grown up with her all my life! Things were great for the first year and a half. Then I cheated on here and disrespected her on and off for about a year while she hung on to me. I was trying to work on it ...

A.   17 July 2005: If you were my boyfriend, I wouldnt take you back you sound like a very selfish man and I think your girlfriend has become wise to this. Why should she take you back after you have treated her so badly for so long? I think you should allow her to m... (read in full...)

Should I give my ex-husband another chance? He says he's changed...

Q.   My husband and I are separated for 18 months after 23 years of marriage. It was an abusive marriage due to his anger. He now says that he has changed with the help of God. He says he loves me and wants to be a good man to me. He wants us to get ...

A.   17 July 2005: I have my own opinion on this. Firstly I dont believe that your husband will have changed at all, hes just trying to get back with you. Secondly if he has changed, he must be very involved with god now for to have changed so quickly -18 months- ... (read in full...)

My one-night-stand is making me question my long-term relationship!

Q.   I need to know other people's perspectives on this problem. Don't be judgemental, just put yourself in my shoes. Two years ago my bf broke up with me and I went on vacation (4 hours east) and met a guy at the bar. I took it to be a one night st...

A.   17 July 2005: Forget the one night stand, its in the past and he obviously didnt want to be with you if he ended the relationship. If you are not happy in your current relationship, you need to ask yourself why and take steps to change things.... (read in full...)

I don't want a relationship with my co-worker, but don't want to ruin our friendship either...

Q.   I have a co-worker who has shown some attention to me in a casual way for the last couple of weeks. I care about this person and have grown closer over this time; even though we are both married. I'm not sure if she might feel the same way as I. I ...

A.   17 July 2005: If youre both married forget it. You shouldnt be pursuing your co-worker if you are in a relationship. ... (read in full...)

When we have any dispute, he storms out of the house. Then he blames me for being emotional...

Q.   Hi, my problem is this. I've lived with my boyfriend for the past two years. I sometimes get grumpy as do most women I'm sure. However my boyfriend really hates this and every time we have the smallest of arguments he gets pissed off and stormes ...

A.   17 July 2005: He probably doesnt know how to handle it when you are grumpy and this is why he storms out. If you genuinely believe that he has been acting wrongly, you need to talk to him and tell him how you feel. Tell him why you are sulky sometimes. If he wont... (read in full...)

We split up after I read a relationship book...

Q.   hi I have recently split up with my bf who I was with for 10 months. The reason we split up was because I read a relationship book, in the book it says to distance yourself from the relationship if it is not going your way. So i decided not to s...

A.   17 July 2005: Sounds like the weeks space you gave him gave him time to think over your relationship and hes decided that its not what he wants. It also sounds like he is trying to make out you are to blame for the ending of your relationship due to the book... (read in full...)

My tears during sex turned to laughter... What was going on?

Q.   Hi I have a problem. The last time me and my boyfriend had sex, I found myself crying. The crying soon turned to laughter as I became hysterical from the shock of it all. Please help, is this normal? My boyfriend was very concerned, and I...

A.   17 July 2005: I have heard that many people do this. Its supposed to be something to do with the emotion of having sex. Dont worry about it. If your boyfriend would dump you over something so trivial, are you sure hes the right one for you? ... (read in full...)

My neighbour is lovely, but she's becoming intrusive...

Q.   My next door neigbour is a very loving person, with many problems in her life. As a friend I try to be there for her as she does me. The problem is she is very lonely and I have often given her advice on how she can help herself, as all she does...

A.   17 July 2005: What a nightmare! You have to tell your neighbour firmly that you will not accept any more of her gifts as this makes you feel uncomfortable. tell her you need time to yourself and youd appreciate it if she called round less often. ... (read in full...)

I found him hanging out with a group of girls... and he had the hide to introduce me!

Q.   What would you do in this situation? Started seeing someone I used to date a long time ago. At first it's cool, then the calls are a little more infrequent, hanging out once a week, maybe twice. So, anyhow, we hang out on a Monday, and then Tue...

A.   16 July 2005: Maybe there wasnt anything going on and thats why he introduced you. Id leave it at that and see how things go from now.... (read in full...)

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