After a raunchy text from my ex, I don't know if he wants me back...
Q. I split from my ex a year ago, but I am still madly in love with him. He was my first 'real' boyfriend and I love him. He does have a new girlfriend but she gets jealous of me easily. My ex and I were friends when we were kids and his girlfriend ...
A. 9 August 2005: If hes got a girlfriend then he shouldnt be sending you suggestive texts.
Why did you break up with him in the first place?
Tell him to stop texting.... (read in full...)
This dog is MY man's best friend. He says I'm just jealous of her...
Q. Hi, My boyfriend is a good man and I love him very much but he isn't one for affection until it comes to his dog (female). I am not exagerating when I write that he constantly kisses her, smells her, while letting out a mmmmmmmmm, and saying ...
A. 8 August 2005: I take it the dog was his companion before he met you?
If so then she was (and proabably still is) like a child to him. Also, because she is a dog, he know she will always love him no matter what. Tell him you feel a bit neglected and youd rath... (read in full...)
Is the 5-years gap too much between us? Is it too soon for us to have sex?
Q. I am a 15 year old teenage girl who is in a loving relationship with a guy who is 20. I will be 16 in 3 months and he will be 21 next month. We really want to have sex but I don't know if it's too soon and if he is too old for me? ...
A. 8 August 2005: 5 years is not a long time, at 15 and 20 it is more of a gap that at 25 and 30 but I dont see this as a problem as long as you both get on well.... (read in full...)
What't he best way to get over someone you really loved?
Q. Dear cupid, Me and my boyfriend broke up almost 2 months ago. No matter what I do I can't get over him. I really loved him and now I have no idea what to do. How do I get over someone that I really loved?...
A. 8 August 2005: You have to get out and find things that occupy your mind in order to forget. Every time you think of him, change the subject in your head or go and do something to occupy yourself. In time, you will stop thinking of him so much.... (read in full...)
My cousin kicked and hit me after punching my mother. What can I do?
Q. I have a big problem. My family have three members. One is me. Another is my mother. The other is a cousin that has a bad habit. He is a man but I am a woman. He always disputes with my mother. Last week, when my mother and he violently disputed, he ...
A. 8 August 2005: Who owns the house? If it is his house, then you and your mother need to find somewhere else to stay. The authorities can help with this without your cousin knowing.
If he is just living with you and your mother then tell him to leave, if he does... (read in full...)
Why do I say such hurtful things to the man I love?
Q. I have actually found the love of my life, the man that I want to marry. I would die for him,. My problem is that I do have respect for him but not completely. I get angry with him and can be very nasty in arguments and say hurtful things delibera...
A. 8 August 2005: Often, we take out our anger on the ones we love the most. Perhaps you are subconciously 'testing' his commitment to you by trying to drive him away?
Is it just because hes there that you take out your anger on him?
You need to think about why you ... (read in full...)
Right now, we're friends-with-benefits. He's Mum's boyfriend's brother...
Q. I've fallen for a guy who is my mum's b/f's brother! I really like him and we have a great friends relationship. Then one night after a few drinks one thing led to another and we ended up in bed. It was the best sex that I had ever had and he is...
A. 8 August 2005: Sounds to me like he just wants sex and has concocted a sob story to try and justify it to you.... (read in full...)
How far can you go before you've lost your virginity?
Q. At what point does one lose her virginity? Is it just by engaging in sexual acts?- but a kiss is considered a sexual act so how far from heavy kisses to heavy petting can you go before you can consider you've had intercourse and are no longer a...
A. 8 August 2005: You have to have full intercourse to lose your virginity.... (read in full...)
I'm not shy. I'm happy to ask girls out, but what do I actually SAY?
Q. Right, let me explain my situation; I'm 17, living in England, and never had girlfriend. Up until the last year or so of course I've been interested, though this hasn't really bothered me, but since I went to college and met friends that hav...
A. 8 August 2005: You sound like youve got your head screwed on! :)
as far as what to say to ask someone out, why not just go up and say "excuse me, whats your name? Im....."
when she tells you all you have to say is "would you like to go out for a drink/to the cine... (read in full...)
A bad experience with another girlfriend means he thinks things will go bad between us, too!
Q. My boyfriend is very insecure about himself, how can I make him get past all his problems?? Hi, I'm 15 years old..and I have a boyfriend who's 17. We've talked to each other for about 5 months now and we love each other. He is my first love ...
A. 8 August 2005: Firstly, have you met him face to face and spent time with him? If not then he could just be using the 'shy , insecure' thing to make you feel sorry for him.
It would scare me if someone told me that i was almost exactly like their ex, i would be t... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't get that I want and need foreplay before we get into sex!
Q. As my member name reads, I'm 20 years younger than my husband. I'm a Filipina now situated in the US. By the way I get stares when we go out, I'm proud to say I attract attention. I believe I'm beautiful with my polyneisan features, natural tan ...
A. 8 August 2005: You need to tell him again what you want. Tell him that the sex is not good for you this should be enough for him to start making more of an efforet. If not, then you need to ask him why he is so emotionless in bed,, there may be an underlying ... (read in full...)
After a drama-free relationship, she wrote and broke it off. Now I get the impression she wants me back!
Q. Dear Cupid, My problem is that some 2 months ago my girlfriend and I decided to have timely break to clear our heads after her teenage son and myself were constantly at each other! About a month ago, after I wrote a lengthy love letter to her she ...
A. 8 August 2005: I think it sounds like she broke up with you because you and her son didnt get on.
Perhapos she does want to be with you but put her sons feelings first.
You will have to ask her how she feels and why she is calling you, it could just be that she... (read in full...)
Breaking up was probably a good idea, so why do I feel so bad?
Q. I know people always say, "time's a healer" and "you made the right choice", but after I left my partner of 3 1/2years, 1 month ago, I still feel as if it was the worst decision I ever made. I left him because he would never make me a priori...
A. 8 August 2005: one day a week seeing each other after 3 1/2 years is NOT too much!
One month is not a long time, it will probably take a few months before you feel any better about this.
Just remember, HE was the one in the wrong.
Go out with friends, enj... (read in full...)
Does she like me? Is she shy? Or have I got it wrong?
Q. For nearly 2 months now I have got the impression that a girl that works in a seperate building at my work place likes me. I am a very shy guy, 23 and have never been able to get over this shyness and find it hard to trust my instincts. I have never ...
A. 8 August 2005: You need to find a way to speak to her on her own.
When you have done this, then you need to find out whether she is available, ask her where she lives, what she does outside work and (most importantly) does she have a boyfriend.
If she says no ... (read in full...)
Tired of the emotional rollercoaster, I just want my fiance to tell me to stay or ask me to leave!
Q. I have been dating my fiance' for over a year now and he still does not seem to care if he is with me or not. Just this evening he told me that he no longer wanted anything to do with me and then after talking/fighting he said that he wanted m...
A. 8 August 2005: When he told you to leave after you had sold your house to be with him then you should have ran and never looked back.
If he is paying money to look at porn then i believe there is a problem...there are thousands of free porn pages on the inte... (read in full...)
Need advice on my unaffectionate, cheating, Internet girlfriend... What to do?!
Q. Hey, I've been with my girlfriend for the past 7 months. We have struggled to keep are relationship alive due to third parties who keep trying to destroy are relationship. Basically, she has met a lad off the net, she told me she might have feeli...
A. 8 August 2005: Well, it certainly sounds like it. You will have to come right out and ask her. She has already said she may have feelings for this internet man and that is not acceptable if she is in a relationship with you.
Tell her that all contact with this... (read in full...)
When I'm out, my boyfriend goes and checks the porn sites. He didn't stop when I asked him to...
Q. Dear Cupid My boyfriend is always looking at porn and dating sites on the computer when I'm out. He is very secretive about it. I told him many times I don't like it but he won't stop. Should I worry and what should I do next?...
A. 8 August 2005: If it is only porn then i wouldnt worry, if he is contacting others on dating sites then i would suggest you dump him as this shows he cannot be trusted.... (read in full...)
He's been playing up in chatrooms and by text, so I beat him at his own game!
Q. I've caught my boyfriend cheating red handed. What should I do? I have been with my boyfriend now for just over two years. We live long distance (abut 2 hours away) and there is a 13 years age gap between us. That never bothered me or him well h...
A. 8 August 2005: Dump him for goodness sake! You have exposed him for the lying, cheating rat that he is. Dont give him a second chance!... (read in full...)
We've had small fights before, but the last one looks like breaking us up...
Q. I have been married almost 4 years this March. All together we have been together 5 years. I think we should have not got married as soon as we did. In the past few years we have a few fights here and there, usually about his rude family. But usua...
A. 8 August 2005: As he has been physically aggressive towards you, then i would not consider getting back with him.
Who does he think he is to be treating you in such an awful way?
Fair enough, he may be tired from work but that is NO EXCUSE!
Decide what you wan... (read in full...)
Didn't like his possessive, controlling ways, so I left. Now I'm thinking I should go back...
Q. I still want to see him, I miss our sex. I left the relationship because I couldn't take his possessive and controlling ways, plus on top of that verbal abuse whenever we fought. I can't but help miss him though, he wants me to come see...
A. 7 August 2005: Keep the good times as a fond memory and remember the bad times so that you never go back to this man.... (read in full...)
He's very secretive when he talks to his ex...
Q. Dear Cupid, I am seeing a guy that is 13 years older than I am. I am 21 and he is 34. We have been together for a year and a half. I love this man more than anything in the world. But lately I have been questioning his level of commitment. He ...
A. 7 August 2005: How do you know for sure hes e-mailing her if hes erasing it?
Perhaps he thinks you will get jealous of him talking to her and this is why hes being so secretive.
Tell him how you feel and how you would rather he be open about it.... (read in full...)
My husband snapped and wants to divorce, but I'm not ready for that yet!
Q. I met my husband 5 five years ago over the internet. For the last 4 years we have been married and have one child together. In the past few years we have also had an almost perfect marriage up until last week. He recently moved down the street from ...
A. 5 August 2005: Maybe you overreacted by telling him off about spending time with his brother-hes only been living nearby for a week and the novelty of this wouod probably have soon worn off.
However, your husbands reaction to the situation was grossly over the ... (read in full...)
Please help me... I need some "reasons" to take my girlfriend's virginity!
Q. I have a girlfriend who is a virgin and I think she is ready to lose her virginity to me but she said I must first tell her why she should lose her virginity to me....
A. 5 August 2005: If shes asking that then shes still not 100% sure she wants to so I would leave it for now, besides, why should you have to justify something like that???????... (read in full...)
I found pornography on my Dad's computer!
Q. dont know what to do about my dad? i was recently browsing on the computer when i came across a folder of my dads which i opened. it contained many poronographic images and then many images of himself. ifeel disguisted at this and i dont know how ...
A. 5 August 2005: First of all, perhaps your mum already knows. If she doesnt then i dont believe that its your place to tell her.
Your dad hasnt really done anything wrong except, perhaps not being careful enough hiding his computer activities from you.
I would sa... (read in full...)
My partner admitted going to peek and swing clubs when I was pregnant. Should I trust him now that I know?
Q. My partner of over 3 years disregarded my feelings and treated me with no respect, throughout the last 4 months of pregnancy. Two weeks ago he finally admitted the truths about the times he would go missing for hour, which left me feeling stressed ...
A. 5 August 2005: I think if I had been in your situation, i would have ended the relationship straight away.
However, with a baby on the way you need to ask yourself if you could forgive your partner and give him one last chance.
Make it crystal clear that nothing ... (read in full...)
Involved with my boyfriend for a year, now I hear he has a wife!
Q. I am a 32 year old lady living in South Africa. My problem is that I was involved with my boyfriend for more that a year now but we each other for more than 5 years. The problem is that yesterday one of his friends told me that he has a wife and he ...
A. 5 August 2005: If it turns out he has a wife then I wouldnt trust him as he has lied to you for a year. Also, I would end the relationship if he is married.... (read in full...)
Should I try being a secret admirer and send this girl a gift?
Q. I have a problem. I like this girl at my school. Over the past first week of sumer holidays I keep thinking about talking to her and asking her out, or keeping my identity secret and sending her love letters. But unfortunatley I'm not the most ...
A. 5 August 2005: No doubt she would be excited and flattered by a gift from a mystery admirer but have you thought about what you would do after you have sent the gift?
I think it would be best for you to ask this girl out face to face .... (read in full...)
We dated, but he wants to take things slowly. Is it too soon to expect him to make up his mind?
Q. I went back to my country in Dec last year and dated this guy I had known from childhood. He had just come out of a relationship so we both weren't expecting anything to come out of it. I went back to the US to study and we kept commnica...
A. 5 August 2005: No, 7 months is not too soon, if he hasnt made up his mind by now then he never will.... (read in full...)
My friends say I look like a boy, but I'm happy with the way I look!
Q. I have a biggest problem in my life. I'm a pretty girl but my friends tell me that I look like a boy. So guys in university weren't interested in me because they believe that I'm a boy. Some friends told me I should change hair style from short-hair ...
A. 4 August 2005: If you dont alredy do so, try to wear more femionine clothes and act in a feminine manner.
There is nothing wrong with short hair, ask your hairdreser if she could show you a few different styles for short hair and try some of those out.
Dont ... (read in full...)
I don't want to have to choose between my love and my parents...
Q. I'm 19 years old. My problem is I'm interested in women. I'm a Lesbian. I love a girl. I love her so much and she also loves me too. We want to be together and marry. She so nice. She always takes care of me, stay with me when I'm alone. She makes ...
A. 4 August 2005: What dont your parents agree with? The fact that you are gay or that you are spending too much time with your girlfriend?
Perhaps if they were to meet her and get to know her they woulkd be more accepting of your relationship.... (read in full...)
We broke up and he wanted to be friends, but he's not acting like much of one!
Q. hello! I am having a problem with my now ex boyfriend. We were going out for 3 years and everything was great. When we broke up he said that he wanted to be friends but I told him that I wasn't sure I did. But I gave it a try anyway.....
A. 4 August 2005: It sounds to me like he said he wanted to be friends because it was the easy thing to say.
Hes certainly not acting like much of a friend, I think you should let him go, for good.... (read in full...)
My ex and I fell out of love, but now he wants me back! Only problem is, I'm sort of with someone.
Q. I went out with a boy called James for a year (my first love), lost my virginity to him and I fell in love. We fell out of love and got on with our lives. He recently dumped his girlfriend and I got back with him for one night. He told me he missed ...
A. 4 August 2005: Sounds like you have already decided who you want although i think that James sounds like a very unreliable, selfish man.
If you cant decide between the two of them then perhaps you should let them both go until you decide what it is you want from... (read in full...)
Please help with my fear of initimacy!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a strange kind of fear of intimacy with people. I am 23 yrs old single guy and have never had an intimate relationship for a long time. I did go close to some people like some girls whom i met in my teens and some friends and...
A. 4 August 2005: You dont say what they judge you on, is it something out ofthe ordinary? If so then they are probably just ignorant of different things.
If its over nothing in particular, you have to remember, everyone judges everyone else to a certain degree (im ... (read in full...)
My partner doesn't see his problem with porn, but I think he has too much of it...
Q. My partner has a problem with porn. He has tons of it. It really upsets me that he searches for it online every time I go out. He has cut back since I moved in with him ten weeks ago, but we just don't seem to be getting anywhere with this iss...
A. 4 August 2005: Tell him again that you want him to throw away his pornographic material.
Why does he wait until you are out to look at it???
If you tell him how you feel and he continues in the way he has been doing, then i would consider ending the relation... (read in full...)
He lied and said he was divorced. Now I'm pregnant and he's gone back to his wife and kids!
Q. I have been with my fiance now for just over a year, that year has been so rocky. When I first met him he told me he was divorced and lived by himself. It so happens I found out just before new year that he wasn't divorced, that he was still ma...
A. 4 August 2005: If he has already left and gone back, there is very little chance that he will leave his wife again.
Obviously, if you are pregnant with this mans child then you will have to maintain some sort of contact with him for the sake of the child, howe... (read in full...)
My fiance has decided to become a Buddhist monk and he's already taken his vows of celibacy!
Q. Dear Cupid, My fiance has decided to become a buddhist monk. He has tried this before we got together. He said that he wanted to marry me, and believe me, I have given him ample opportunity to change his mind. He just broke the engageme...
A. 3 August 2005: Your boyfriend was unfair to begin a relationship with you if he has been considering becoming a buddhist monk.
Unfortunately, there is probably nothing that you could do to change his miond. You need to put the relationship behind you and move on.... (read in full...)
I'm feeling taken for granted. Is this grounds for a break up?
Q. I'm 19 years old and I've been dating a guy for about 7 months. We've been having some trouble lately & things have become beyond complicated. The relationship started out perfect. After dating for about 2 months he told me he loved me, he's nev...
A. 3 August 2005: It depends what he is doing that is so bad.
Just because he doesnt send romantic emails back and buy you flowers doesnt mean that he doesnt love you. If, on the other hand, you feel that he is mistreating you, you have to tell him firmly how his ... (read in full...)
It seemed like he was flirting and wanting me to call. Was I imagining it?
Q. I recently lost my spouse. The doctor that treated him seemed to flirt, or be overfriendly. I have seen him since my spouse passed away. He made flirting commments, telling me to call him in a month if I still feel as I do now, and we will talk. He...
A. 3 August 2005: Perhaps the doctor was just being friendly and, in your grief, you have mistaken it for something else.
If the doctor pursues a relationship with you then he would be breaking the rules as doctors are not allowed to have personal dealings with thei... (read in full...)
I can't see myself with anyone except the guy I broke up with!
Q. Am a 17 year old female. And about a year ago now I broke up with a guy I really loved and still love. I go to his house now and again and we still have a pretty good relationship/friendship. Sometimes we end up kissing but that hasn't happened...
A. 3 August 2005: I think you should move on and stop seeing 'david' for a while. You may feel like you will never meet anyone again (everyone has felt like this at some point) but that is very unlikely.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is developing a friendship with her boss that's driving a wedge between us!
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for over 7 years, she has recently developed a close friendship with her boss (who is also gay). I am getting more and more paranoid that something is going to happen, but in the process I am driving her away. I don'...
A. 3 August 2005: If this man is gay then there is very little chance of anything happening with him and your wife.
If you are not happy about the friendship, then you must tell your wife and explain your reasons why you are not happy about this.... (read in full...)
I don't know if I'm gay, but I've been questioning my sexuality...
Q. Hi I am a 22 year old female. I have recently been questioning my sexuality and this has resulted in me going in to depression. I did speak to a psychologist however, she was no help and I still feel the same. When I was younger, when I would get...
A. 3 August 2005: I dont agree with Kim21, not everyone goes through as stage of questioning their sexuality. You have to decide what you want,.... (read in full...)
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