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I found him hanging out with a group of girls... and he had the hide to introduce me!

Q.   What would you do in this situation? Started seeing someone I used to date a long time ago. At first it's cool, then the calls are a little more infrequent, hanging out once a week, maybe twice. So, anyhow, we hang out on a Monday, and then Tue...

A.   16 July 2005: Maybe there wasnt anything going on and thats why he introduced you. Id leave it at that and see how things go from now.... (read in full...)

Three years into our relationship, my boyfriend needs to "live a single life" in case I leave him!

Q.   Im 21. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. When he came back from holidays last summer, despite the fact that he emailed me every second day, things had changed for him in that I was becoming a lot less of a priority in his life. He was thin...

A.   16 July 2005: Tell him hes either with you or hes not. Dont wait for him to live his single life. Hes being very selfish.... (read in full...)

What happened? She left her husband for me... then she turned on me!

Q.   I broke every single relationship rule I have... I had a crush on a girl in college seven years ago, remember everything about her, nothing about the classes we shared. Then about seven months ago I ran into her where I work, big office building,...

A.   15 July 2005: I think that your ex was feeling guilty about leaving her husband for you and her behaviour was her unconcious way of 'punishing' you and herself for the split. You appear to know yourself that this was not a healthy relationship. I think you ha... (read in full...)

She's left 3 times and says she's not coming back for a 4th. But I think I want to propose...

Q.   My girl-friend recently ditched me because she thought I wasn’t devoted enough to her - I didn’t measure up to her expectations and she says she’s not one to compromise. I actually was devoted to her, and crazy about her, and I was building up to ...

A.   15 July 2005: You have already lost this woman, proposing will not make things any better for either of you in the long run. Move on with your life as she has done with hers,... (read in full...)

His job is to take pictures of beautiful women, and I don't feel like I can compete with that!

Q.   My new boyfriend is a fashion photographer and he always takes pictures of beautiful women and as much as I try not for it to bother me, it does. What should I do? I am considered pretty but not beautiful. ...

A.   15 July 2005: He must think youre beautiful to be going out with you. Try not to let this worry you, its only his job at the end of the day. Tell him how you feel and get some reassurnce.... (read in full...)

My new friends and old friends don't all get along. Couldn't they do it once, for me?

Q.   I'm thinking of having a party. I want to join my new friends and my old friends. But some of the people I want to invite don't get along with others I want to invite. One of my friends said she wouldn't even come if I invite this one girl. What ...

A.   15 July 2005: Id say invite who you want, if one of your friends doesnt come, its her loss. Your other friends may end up getting on if they meet at the party.... (read in full...)

Our relationship is on hold while my boyfriend and his ex get counselling!

Q.   I have been dating the same guy for 10 months. We enjoy each other very much but have agreed that it is non-commital relationship. His ex-fiancee left him over a 1 1/2 years ago. She showed up unanounced on Father's Day and announced that she wants ...

A.   15 July 2005: Tell him NOW that this must STOP! hes not responsible for his ex any more. If he continues to go to the counselling, personally, i would end the relationship as this shows he has no respect for you.... (read in full...)

How can my boyfriend and I get past the troubles we've had in our past?

Q.   My bfriend and I went out for 2 years then broke it off...we did a lot of damage to the relationship. 3 years later we're back together and things have been going great for the last 3 months, however, we hit a bad patch one night when the ...

A.   15 July 2005: You need to talk about what happened in the past, get it all off your chest and allow him to do the same.Only when the air is cleared will you be able to move forward.... (read in full...)

Choose my friend, or choose my friend's boyfriend? What do I do?

Q.   I have a problem.I love my friend's boyfriend and I think he love me too but my friend don't know about my relation.Both of them are very good to me.I am confused that I should choose my friend or him.What should I do?... ...

A.   15 July 2005: Only you can choose. Is this boy really worth losing your friend over?... (read in full...)

Every month at "that time" my girlfriend gets mad... and stays mad.

Q.   When "Aunt Rose" comes to visit my girlfriend I can't keep her happy for anything, and when she gets mad it carries past Aunt Rose's monthly visit. You girls out there how can I keep it under control and keep her happy?...

A.   15 July 2005: You cant. get her to see her doctor if its really that bad and maybe they will be able to help. Try keeping out of her way at these times too, i know its not ideal, but theres really not much else you can do!... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's family doesn't want him to see me because I was raped!

Q.   Hi, I need help. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and I was raped about a month ago by an ex at a party. Ever since, we have had problems and fights every day and I can't stop crying because my boyfriend's family wants not...

A.   14 July 2005: What a nasty family! If your boyfriend still wants to see you then it has nothing to do with them and he should tell them this. tell your boyfriend how you are feeling so he has the chance to be more understanding about the situation, hopef... (read in full...)

If I kiss her, I'm afraid I'm too forward. If I don't, I'm afraid I'm a wuss...

Q.   Me and my girlfriend have been dating about four months and we live about fifty miles apart, but we always see each other when ever possible. I really like her but I don't know if she feels the same way for me. We are always keeping in touch on...

A.   14 July 2005: If shes definately your girlfriend then just kiss her!!! If you are just friends, id find out how she feels about you before making a move.... (read in full...)

Why won't my girlfriend hug or kiss me first?

Q.   I think that im too overpowering in my realtionship... I'm always the one to start a kiss, or a hug, or anything at all... I feel bad because she never does... I don't know, when we first started going out I told her I wasn't in this relationshi...

A.   14 July 2005: Maybe shes not a very physical person or shes scared to make the first move. Tell her this makes you worried and see if things progress from there.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is in the military and he broke it off with me because he has to go abroad...

Q.   My boyfriend of 9 months is in the forces and was due to see me at the weekend after being on a training course 300 miles away for 3weeks. He had been ringing and texting me daily saying how much he has been missing me etc. On the night before his...

A.   14 July 2005: All you can do is respect his wishes and stop trying to contact him. He broke off with you in a terrible manner and should be ashamed of himself. Dont take him back if he comes with his tail between his legs, go out and find someone nice who ... (read in full...)

When I think of my boyfriend losing his virginity to his ex, I get sad and angry...

Q.   I've got a problem that I can't seem to get over. I love my boyfriend more than I could explain, but I can't seem to get over his past. A few months before we got together he lost his virginity to a girl he didn't care about. I can't stop thinking...

A.   14 July 2005: All you can do is try to forget about it. As time passes this will grow easier. Listen to your boyfriend when he tries to put your mind at ease, this means he cares! I hope it all works out for you.... (read in full...)

My old lover is stable and says he'll take me back, but my new lover is younger and exciting...

Q.   I recently broke off an 8 month relationship with my Ex boyfriend and met someone new. While I have only been dating for a month now, I really feel like I have found real love. The problem is that this new love lives a few states away and works 6 ...

A.   14 July 2005: You say your new lover is your soulmate. If you're considering getting back with your ex, he cant be. Decide which of these men you want and stick with your decisions. Make your choice for the right reasons.... (read in full...)

I wanted my family to be proud that I made it to this university, but now I just feel stupid...

Q.   I'm already a student in a university this year. The biggest problem is I can't understand too many subjects I have learnt. I'm a stupid student in the best university in my country. It's make me feel terrible. I'm a lazy person. The reason why I ...

A.   14 July 2005: If you dont have a goal, you need to make one, fast! if it doesnt include being at university then leave. your family may be dissapointed, but its your life and you have to make yourself happy first. If you would like to continue uni but feel tha... (read in full...)

I get the cold shoulder when I tell my girlfriend that I love her. What's going on?

Q.   I really do love my girlfriend, but recently if I try to hold her hand she pulls away. If we are out somewhere she speeds up and seperates herself from me, and although I told her I loved her and vice versa a lot of the time recently when I tell her ...

A.   14 July 2005: Maybe her feelings towards you have changed. Maybe she doesnt believe you really love her. You have to talk to her and ask her whats changed, this is the only way youre going to find out.... (read in full...)

I'm insecure and jealous that he's so attractive to women. He's lovely, but says we're basically incompatible...

Q.   He’s still here; angry and fed-up. Do I ask him what he wants? Do I leave him to it and hope that he'll stay? Is there anything I can do to make things better? Or is the ball in his court now? Please, any advice you can give would be gold dust for ...

A.   14 July 2005: I think you have a right to be jealous. A female friend giving him hand massages in front of you? This is not a normal way for friends to behave. you dont sound happy in this relationship. I dont think I would be either. Your boyfriend sounds ... (read in full...)

We're friends, but she has a lot on her plate right now. What can I do to show her I care?

Q.   I'm friends with a girl I met 2 months ago through my brother's girlfriend. This girl is gorgoeus looking and has a beautiful personality. I'm really interested in her and she's interested in me. We've kissed and had a couple of dates. But it's not...

A.   14 July 2005: I think youve done all you can at the moment. Why not give her a call to see how she's getting on now and then, listen to her problems and be a good friend, sounds like that's what she needs at the moment.... (read in full...)

It's a cliche, I know... but I've fallen for a young, blonde attractive member of my staff...

Q.   This sounds like a cliche but I feel that I need help to get it out of my system. I have fallen for a member of my staff. She is 10 years younger blond, slim attractive and available. I have been married and faithful (ish) for 21 years so there's ...

A.   14 July 2005: If you want to pursue your relationship with Gill, you have to leave your wife. ... (read in full...)

After every argument, we make up by SMS, because we'll argue even more if he stays!

Q.   Hi I'm girl of 20 and been with my boyfriend who's 27 for 10 months. The thing is lately with been arguing about and its putting pressure on our relationship. Every time we argue he storms out, then afterwards we make up over a text but not in p...

A.   14 July 2005: You sound like you are arguing a lot, if this is the case after only 10 months together,then it is likely things will get worse if they are not sorted out. You have to sit down and talk about this. If he refuses to communicate with you i think it... (read in full...)

I'm in love, he just wants to be friends. Now he won't answer his phone...

Q.   Met a great guy one month ago. He just wants to be friends but I have fallen in love with him. It has now been six days since we last spoke and he does not answer his phone or my SMS....

A.   14 July 2005: Forget about him. He's told you he just wants to be friends.... (read in full...)

Sex stopped cold turkey in January and my boyfriend won't say why...

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for over a year. Im 21 hes 22. We have a great relationship with each other but we havent had sex in the past 7 months. We had a great sex life up until January when he just stopped cold turkey. He was always initiati...

A.   13 July 2005: You sound like you have tried to talk to him about it and he won't communicate with you. Make him listen to you. Tell him you are unhappy with the way things are and unless he changes, or tells you what's wrong you're considering ending the relation... (read in full...)

Other boys are attracted to my girlfriend, because she's so pretty and friendly. What can I do?

Q.   I and my girlfriend have known each other for a year. She is very friendly and pretty so she has many friends. I love her very much and she also love me so much too. Everything should well but I have some problems about her. Due t...

A.   13 July 2005: Let her be friends with who she likes, unfortunately, you cant control her. Theres no harm in a woman having male friends.... (read in full...)

Our sex life is about half what my boyfriend would like, so he gets moody and I feel guilty!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for five years. he gets very moody when I don't want to have sex and acts like a child. I do not like to have a lot of sex and so feel guilty that I am not interested enough - do I have a problem? If we ...

A.   13 July 2005: I think 2-3 times a week is about average. He's got the problem, not you.... (read in full...)

He knows I have a crush on him... Should I send him my essay too?

Q.   Dear Cupid, A few days ago,I wrote a completely fictional essay about my crush and I getting together.I decided to send it to my younger cousin via e-mail,and she replied saying that it was incredible and that I should send it to my crush.Sh...

A.   13 July 2005: No, I think it would be a bit full on to send him the essay. You don't want to look like a stalker.... (read in full...)

We had a physical relationship, but she left me and decided to marry someone else...

Q.   hi well I know this sounds funny but I need help.. I happened to get involved with a friend of mine and we shared a physical relationship. Then all of a sudden she decides to get married to someone else, who is a well known person but happened...

A.   13 July 2005: Sounds like a difficult situation. This girl sounds like she just used you for sex, move on with your life and forget about her... (read in full...)

My long-distance bf broke his promise to me. We care for each other deeply, but can I trust him?

Q.   I have been in a long distance relationship for over two years with a smart, funny, loving, thoughtful, and generous man. The problem is this: A year ago he held me down, bruising me. Upon my demand, he went to a doctor, was evaluated for depr...

A.   13 July 2005: Get him to go to (and complete) counselling before you even think of letting this man live with you. He won't let you into his home? He holds you down until you are bruised? Do you have so little self respect that you are going to put up with thi... (read in full...)

We break up over and over. How many times should I take him back?

Q.   He keeps (5) breaking up with me then calls me, telling me that he miss me. The longest we have ever stayed away with out talking is 3 days! Being that he has not called me do you think that I should call me or just let it be? The reason tha...

A.   13 July 2005: No, I don't think this is healthy for kids. I don't think you should take him back again, if it's like this after only 7 months there is no future in this relationship.... (read in full...)

She won't go out with my "in case she hurts me". What's going on?

Q.   I'm in love with this girl, but she's seeing an older man. Since she's been seeing him stuff has happened between me and her, but she said she loves me more than she does him, but she cant have a relationship with me, in case she hurts me. What do I ...

A.   13 July 2005: She trying to let you down gently. She won't leave this older man for you. Get on with your life.... (read in full...)

The age difference isn't a problem, but I can't stop thinking about his kids and his career...

Q.   I met this guy one day who surprisingly approached me and wanted my number. I gave it to him and we ended up going out on a date (my first one). I am 26 years old. Come to find out, he is 34. Not a problem because I'm an old soul for my age and was ...

A.   13 July 2005: If you think you can't handle his 'baggage', end things now as his kids will take over more of your life the more serious you get with him. If the thought of this doesn't bother you, by all means continue the relationship, but I know, personally, ... (read in full...)

My fiance left me alone to deal with my personal trauma. What am I letting myself in for?

Q.   Dear All, I am having problems talking to my boyfriend. We are getting married in 3 weeks and I have had some terrible news 2 weeks ago when my brother suddenly passed away. I am hurt and have no one else I can really talk to other than my bo...

A.   13 July 2005: He wont change. Perhaps he doesnt want to talk about it because he doesnt know what to do or say to make the situation better, but he sounds a very insensitive, selfish man and i would be having second thoughts whether i wanted to spend my life with ... (read in full...)

We like each other, but he's my friend's boyfriend...

Q.   I'm a freshy in the university. I've met many new friends. One day I met my friend's boyfriend, I think he quite likes me and I feel that too. We exchaged our phone number and went out together. But the trouble is he's my friend's boyfriend. Please...

A.   13 July 2005: Leave him alone! what kind of friend are you to steal her boyfriend??? A very selfish one.... (read in full...)

Something went wrong, and now my girlfriend is pregnant. We don't know what to do!

Q.   Hie all of you. I do hope you can help. I have a girlfriend and we had sex and something went wrong and now she's pregnant. I can't marry her coz I'm afraid of my parents and what they'll say. They surely wont approve and neither will her parents ...

A.   13 July 2005: Get your girlfriend to go to her GP or family planning clinic for advice, then, she will have to tell her parents, either alone or with you, if she chooses. You will have to cope with whatever reaction comes from the news of the pregnancy but dont... (read in full...)

My boyfriend think he's the smart one, I'm the dumb one, and only his opinion counts...

Q.   How do I stand up for myself? My boyfriend thinks it is all me, I am the dumb one, he is the smart one. He thinks I need straightening up. Yes, I do, but some of his problems are what is causing my problems, but he refuses to believe that and ...

A.   13 July 2005: Start voicing your feelings and opinions more (even when youre not arguing) this will let you practise being more assertive, when your boyfriend cuts you down make it clear you are not going to stand for it. dont get angry, just be firm with him, if ... (read in full...)

Nothing can happen between me and the teacher, so why can't I get over it?

Q.   Hi, I'm a 12 year old lass and I'm in year 7. I really like this teacher who is in his 20's - 30's and it hurts because he doesn't know who I am. Even though I know it is never going to happen I nearly cry myself to sleep knowing that. I really w...

A.   13 July 2005: This is normal for someone your age. The feelings will go away in time. Please do not act upon your feelings. Get out with friends and try to forget about your teacher.... (read in full...)

Have I done the right thing, shielding my son from my judgemental extended family?

Q.   Somedays, I feel so despondent about my extended family. (my mother, sister and aunts) I grew up with very judgemental, opinionated, gossipy family members. As a child I recall being criticized and feeling humiliated with cruel words, on a dail...

A.   13 July 2005: Youve done the right thing, by telling your son that he can meet his extended family if he wants when hes older, you have given him the choice. If, in the furture, he wants to see them, dont stop him, chances are, as an adult he will see what two... (read in full...)

I'd like to try some new things - even sex! - with my boyfriend, but he couldn't care less!

Q.   I am 21 and I don't have the most experience. I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half and the most we have ever done is some heavy petting. I don't know for sure but I think he might be a virgin (he's 27). We have a great relation...

A.   12 July 2005: Tell him how you feel!!! Maybe hes scared to make the first move because he thinks that you are uncomfortable with sex and he doesnt want to upset you.... (read in full...)

On again, off again with my boyfriend because he doesn't have the same goals and ambition...

Q.   I've been on & off again a few times with my b/f for 5 yrs. We've been really serious and we are each other's best friends. However, I feel as though he isn't going anywhere with his life. I'm about to graduate college, and he is just going ba...

A.   12 July 2005: If hes not "shaped up" in 5 years he never will. its up to you to decide whether you want to continue the relationship. After a long term relationship it can be hard to stay friends, you have to talk to him about this.... (read in full...)

Not sure if this guy is really serious. He just brushes me off about our future...

Q.   Hi, I'm 16 years old and ever since me and my boyfriend broke up a year ago from a 4 year relationship it's been hard for me to meet someone that I can get serious with. I've been seeing someone now for about 5 months and I feel that he could be...

A.   12 July 2005: youre still a bit young to be thinking about settling down, enjoy your time with this boy and take things as they come.... (read in full...)

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