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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi,Please will someone help me? I'm not sure why, but my girlfriend has to use to drugs to help her feel normal. This has started since she found out her ex b/f is seeing her cousin. Her ex was abusive and now she's changed, she's started using drugs and I'm scared about how this is going to affect everything. pPlease can someone help me as I don't know how to talk to her about it. Thanks to all those who reply.
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reader, becky05 +, writes (10 August 2005):
This girl is most likely using drugs to block out unhappy memories.
You have to talk to her, tell her how worried you are and let her know that you are there for her. Unfortunately, there is not much else you can do unless she is willing to help herself.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2005): This is just a hunch, but if her ex BF abused her..it's likely a shocking "slap in her face" that the jerk is now dating her cousin. Sadly, abuse has no cut-off time. The sounds, the voices, the smells, the horror of abuse reverberate long after the episode (relationship) has ended-both in nightmares and in waking moments. And now, she is reminded of the torment she endured, by being forced to stand aside and watch this man date her cousin. She likely feels helpless because she knows her cousin may suffer the same fate, if not now, then some point in the future. So she takes drugs to numb the pain, the helplessness, the anger and frustration she feels at not being able to "come to closure" and have this man out of her life, once and for all. She'll need you more than ever now...see if you can persuade her to get some professional help. If she agrees..you may have to go with her. Her feelings of anger at the ex BF are understandable, because he violated her. Please see if you can help her in any way...and get her off the drugs. She does stand a chance at normalcy again..but someone who loves her has to help her and intervene. I have to say..what a good, loving person you are to write and ask for help. You and she have quite a journey ahead of you. Good luck to you both.
Take Care & God bless. Hugs, Irish
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A
female
reader, Amber  +, writes (9 August 2005):
 Has this girl had a difficult past?as in an unhappy childhood? If so then it is possible that her cousin seeing her ex has pushed her over the edge. Sometimes when a person has been trough a lot the tiniest thing can set them off to do wild things....However the fact that she is taking drugs might not have anything to do with this relationship at all, it may be that it might have started out as an experiment that has now gotten out of hand, all you can do at the moment is to make her realise that she has a problem and needs help and to assure her that you're there for her no matter what. Amber xx
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