I don't know if I'm gay, but I've been questioning my sexuality...
Q. Hi I am a 22 year old female. I have recently been questioning my sexuality and this has resulted in me going in to depression. I did speak to a psychologist however, she was no help and I still feel the same. When I was younger, when I would get...
A. 3 August 2005: I dont agree with Kim21, not everyone goes through as stage of questioning their sexuality. You have to decide what you want,.... (read in full...)
Afraid to tell my boyfriend that I had to work as a prostitute. What if he rejects me?
Q. Dear Cupid, I would like some advice on a secret which I have kept for the past 2 years which is killing me. I used to work as prostitute briefly for 3 months, where I live. I was forced into it because I had been beaten up and left home and...
A. 2 August 2005: Do you want to tell him? If not, then there is no reason why he should find out.
If you believe that there is a good chance he will find out about your past then perhaps it would be better for you to tell him first - before he finds out second hand... (read in full...)
He's going to jail for a long time. Do I wait?
Q. Dear agony aunt, I am in a relationship with a man who has gone to jail and is expecting a really long sentence. The thing is, I was only with him for 2 months before he got arrested. Should I wait for him? I don't feel as strong for him as I did...
A. 2 August 2005: Do you really feel you are committed to him enough afetr only two months to wait perhaps years to be with him again?
Not to mention that he cant be too trustworthy to have ended up with a long sentence in gaol.
I think it would be better to forge... (read in full...)
My friend has offered to listen to me talk about my problems, but how do I start?
Q. Hi I'm 15 and recently my parents split up. It affects me a lot. My friend said I could talk to her about it any time. I know it would help me to talk to her but I don't know how to tell her I want to talk. I'm quite shy and I just can't seem to ask ...
A. 2 August 2005: Next time you want to talk to her, all you have to say is "can I talk to you about ...... for a little while?" Once youve said it, it wont seem so bad.... (read in full...)
Do I take him back or tell him to hit the highway?
Q. I was with my boyfriend James on and off for about 2 years- the last time we decided to get back together I was really happy, but then he broke it off as he liked someone else. He now wants me back but I'm seeing Will now and I really like him. The...
A. 2 August 2005: what you have to ask yourself is if you would really be happier with 'James' the chances aere he will not have changed his ways and will continue to behave in the way which he behaved in in the past and you would never be able to trust him.
If I we... (read in full...)
We're broken up, but he tells me he can't picture life without me. What's going on?
Q. I have just recentally broken up with my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. I am 26 and he is 23. We lived together for a year. Even though we broke up we continue having a friendship and also have sex on ocassion. I have tried talking about our ...
A. 2 August 2005: It sounds like he doesnt want a relationship but he is happy to use you for sex when he feels like it.
... (read in full...)
There are anger issues, and my fiance has a gambling problem, but I still love him and want this to work!
Q. I am not normally into writing into places asking for help, but this moment I really need it. I am lost. I love my fiance to bits like no other man before, the only thing is he does not understand me at all, I may not be the brightest tool in the s...
A. 2 August 2005: Whats so good about this man that he means everything to you? Hes a liar and a compulsive gambler, he insults you openly and has no respect for you.
I think that you know already that the best thing to do would be to end this relationship as this... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's become distant and basically ignores me...
Q. My boyfriend hs become distant and I hardly see him. When I do see him he is only concerned about his problems at home. He's a manic depressive and self harms regularily. He won't discuss things with me and basically ignores me. Also he's told a ...
A. 1 August 2005: If your boyfriend is not getting help for his manic depression at the moment, then you need to encourage him to do so.
Many people with manic depression can live normal lives if their illness is controlled by medication, also, it is an illness whic... (read in full...)
My holiday fling turned into the Real Thing for me, so why haven't I heard from him?
Q. Hi, I just learnt about this site from a friend,. I have a problem, I just had a vacation, a well deserved one. I met someone through work, we talked for hours we conneceted. For the first time I met someone who really listened to me and made feel ...
A. 1 August 2005: This was a holiday romance and nothing more, you have to put it behind you as a fond memory and get on with your life.
If you are not happy in your marriage then you should be trying to work this out, especially as you say you have children.... (read in full...)
We've met online and I think I'm already falling for her...
Q. Hi all- Hope you can help me. The last time I was on here I asked a question about a girl I liked, a girl who I started seeing and sleeping with and a girl (aged 18) who I thought I was falling in love with. With me being such a 'softie' and for ...
A. 1 August 2005: Why do you keep rushing into things?
Take things slower and make the effort to really get to know people before you decide whether you love them or not.
If you continue to wear your heart on your sleeve people will continue to take advantag... (read in full...)
She's taking her ex to the wedding. Is this a red flag?
Q. My girlfriend is attending a wedding with her ex boyfriend without me. She feels too uncomfortable to include me. What should I be thinking?...
A. 1 August 2005: If I was you I'd be very angry and hurt.
Are you not good enough for her to take to the wedding?
If she felt to uncomfortable to include you then she should have gone alone.... (read in full...)
He wanted a break, so I moved out. Now, how do I ask to come home?
Q. My boyfriend & I have been together for 5 years and have currently been on a break since the end of March. I moved back to my mum's and I see him at the weekend and a few nights in the week. I feel as he wanted this break I am sacrificing a lot to...
A. 1 August 2005: If you are scared to ask him 'when you can come home' then you are still not ready to go back to the relationship.
Surely the whole point of a break was to let the both of ypou stand on your own 2 feet for a while?
It doesnt sound as if you are ... (read in full...)
My long-distance guy is worried that if we step back it'll destroy what we have. Thoughts?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years long distance, and he is coming here soon so we will finally be in the same city. Recently I've had some doubts as to whether things are going to work out, and really, I've had these doubts before but we'v...
A. 1 August 2005: I can understand why he feels it would be bad for him if you had a break.
I believe that he feels that you would be casting him aside to see if you could find someone better and, if you couldnt, then you would 'make do' with him.
Would you like him... (read in full...)
My partner and I have 5 years of history, but his wife is still in the picture...
Q. I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. I am divorced, my partner is still married but not living with his wife. We both have children but not together. There is no sign that he is going to divorce his wife, his usual reason is money and ...
A. 1 August 2005: If you dont feel that you are getting the love that you need from this man then you need to move on.
Obviously, being a mother yourself you will understand his need to take time with his children, however, he should be making time for you and maki... (read in full...)
Is it unfair of me to feel upset that she's going camping with a male friend?
Q. I've been dating my girlfriend for the last 16 months. We don't live together and only see each other at weekends. We chat on the phone mid week. She recently told me that she will be spending a night away camping with a male friend that she ...
A. 1 August 2005: I dont think there is anything wrong with her going on a camping trip with a friend, if you have had no reason to doubt her before then why do so now?
Also, I dont think that your relationship sounds particularly serious if you only meet at week... (read in full...)
Rumour is that my boyfriend has cheated, and he likes to be alone when he goes clubbing. Should I be concerned?
Q. Hi, I have been going out with my boyfriend Dave for about a year. I have known him for four years and i have felt that i have always loved him. It was love at first sight for me, and he eventually first asked me out when I was fourteen. He was seve...
A. 1 August 2005: He cheated on Leanne with you so why wouldnt he cheat on you with someone else?
I think his behaviour is highly suspicious due to you geing told the same story from two different people...would they have any real reasons to make something like this... (read in full...)
I'm shy and I'd like to learn to be more outgoing...
Q. I find it very hard to make conversation with guys. I talk to them, just not that long. People like to kid around with me because I'm so shy, but I don't want to be shy. How can I break the habit? ...
A. 1 August 2005: You need to get youself into situations where you are talking to more people, this will definately help as i have found out from personal experience.
You dont say what age you are but the older you get the less shy you will become.
Every... (read in full...)
He flew me from Miami to Boston and we had an intense time. Now what do I do?
Q. I was on vacation in Miami (from London) and I met a guy who I instantly took a strong liking to. After only a couple of hours, we slept together (I couldn't resist) We got along really well and had a lot in common and seemingly a lot of chemistr...
A. 1 August 2005: First, im not surprised he was cross that you called another man from his phone, hadnt you taken enough of his generosity wiothout running up his phone bill calling someone else?
Giving you the picture back signifies that he wanted no memories of y... (read in full...)
Seems like my internet bloke only has time for sex. Is this going anywhere?
Q. Hi, I just got into a relationship with a bloke I met on the internet. We've met about 5 times but chat every day either on the PC or the phone. I really like him, but am getting mixed signals from him. He says he wants to try and make a go of it...
A. 1 August 2005: I think you know the answer to this- he is just using you for sex, end the 'relationship' now before you become even more used by this man.... (read in full...)
After his cheating with a woman from his work, he wants to regain my trust. But how?
Q. I'm 19. My bf is 23. We have been together for 8 months now. I know he's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. Our love is magic except I just found out from a friend that while I was in Cancun he cheated on me with a woman from his ...
A. 1 August 2005: Why should you tust him again? He waited until you were away to cheat on his own doorstep. Doesnt sound like he wanted to keep it much of a secret. Personally, id let him go back to hawaii alone.... (read in full...)
Do I tell my co-worker the way I feel and hope she'll leave her boyfriend for me?
Q. Six months ago my office hired a new administrative assistant. She is very beautiful and we hit it off great. As we got to know each other, I realized she was not just a pretty face, but that she had a great personality too. We talk on the phon...
A. 1 August 2005: The reason she cant go out is that she has a boyfriend!
I dont think it would be wise of you to take things any further for a fwe reasons 1) she is in a relationship. 2)She hasnt given you any signs that she is interested in you and 3) you work toge... (read in full...)
If I can't get sex from women, I pretend they don't exist for me...
Q. I am 23 yr old single guy. I have some anxieties about myself. Whenever I think about women, the first thing that comes to my mind is sex. I mean I don't see any point of women existing on this earth if it was not for sex. So all my relationship ...
A. 1 August 2005: You are not mature enough for a real relationship, thats whats wrong with you.You are acting like a teenage boy and until you realise that women have feelings, you will never be in a healthy relationship.
If you carry on in the manner you have been... (read in full...)
Never took the chance with the girl when I could have. Can't help thinking "what if...?"
Q. I fell in love with a girl a few years ago, she knew I liked her a lot, and we were good friends. I felt she liked me a little too, but she was with a guy, and she was happy with him. One day she came in upset, crying her eyes out; her boyfriend ...
A. 1 August 2005: Theres no harm in writing her a letter to see how shes doing but you have missed your chance to ask her out,as she is with someone else now and it would not be appropriate to tel her your feelings.
... (read in full...)
My fiancee has asked for 3 breaks in five months. He wants freedom but he wants me, too!
Q. My fiancee and I have been engaged for 5 months. About 3 times now, he has asked me for a break in our relationship. I always reluctantly let him, but the day after he does this he always wants me back. He wants to marry me and live a stable life, ...
A. 29 July 2005: Tell him he cant go on like this, if he has agreed to get mareried then he shouldnt need breaks from the relationship, if he feels he does then he is not ready to get married.
Next time he asks for a break tell him 'no' he has to face up toi real... (read in full...)
I dumped my abusive ex. So why is he back, texting me how much he loves me?
Q. I split from my ex over 18 months ago. He was abusive and I couldnt take it any more. Him putting me in hospital was the final straw. Now I'm recieving email and text messages from him telling me how much he loves me and wants me back. I'm under a ...
A. 29 July 2005: Hes doing it because he cant face the fact that he has lost you and you dont want him any more.
Change your phone number and e-mail and stay away from this dangerous man.... (read in full...)
He says he loves me... but does he mean it?
Q. I have a boyfriend who tells me he loves me all the time in person and over the phone, etc. The problem is when he says it in person to me he never looks me in the face. What does this mean? I would think someone whould look you in the face if ...
A. 29 July 2005: If he doesnt have any trouble making eye contact in other situations I would question whether he means it or not.
On the other hand, why would he say it if he didnt mean it?
Only you can judge whether he is telling the truth or not. look at his a... (read in full...)
I want to get married. He wants to get married. But he keeps telling me "Later"!
Q. background: My boyfriend and I have dated since June 2001, when I was 16 and he was 19 years old. We've changed and grown and through it all we've managed to have our love grow and change in turn. Albeit many ups and downs, we are still wonderfu...
A. 29 July 2005: Even though you have been going out together for a while, you are both still quite young to get married (by today's standards). If he says later then he probably just wants to wait until you are both older and have lived your lives a bit before ... (read in full...)
I was worried that the passion in our relationship would die. It looks like it's happening!
Q. I have been seeing my boyfriend since February since meeting online. I moved in with him almost a month ago. Before there was so much affection and we made love regularly. Since moving in we don't make love and affection is limited, though w...
A. 29 July 2005: Your partner is right....life isnt a fairy tale, you need to be happy with what you have. If you keep looking for a fairy tale relationship you aree going to spend your life very dissapointed.... (read in full...)
How important is physical attraction in a marriage?
Q. I have been married for just a few months. I am not attracted to my wife. We are great friends. Our personality matches. We support each other. However the physical attraction is just not there for me. It is not that she is not an attracti...
A. 29 July 2005: If you had any doubts about how attractive your wife was before you married her then you shouldnt have gone through with the marriage.
You need to decide whether your wifes love or looks means more to you and make the appropriate decision on what... (read in full...)
Mad at my lover, I told his wife what was going on between us...
Q. I had an affair which lasted 2 months. In this time I fell in love with this man. He was in a very unhappy marriage and had left his wife before he met me, but went back for the sake of his child. He'd phone and text me every day. And we used to met ...
A. 29 July 2005: First of all, this man is NOT going to leave his wife for you.
Most probably he was trying to avoid you the da that he ignored your call.
I dont think you should caLL him as if he had wanted to contact you then he would have done so by now.... (read in full...)
Mad at my lover, I told his wife what was going on between us...
Q. I had an affair which lasted 2 months. In this time I fell in love with this man. He was in a very unhappy marriage and had left his wife before he met me, but went back for the sake of his child. He'd phone and text me every day. And we used to met ...
A. 29 July 2005: Im not surprised you havent heard from him.
He was most likely hoping for a bit on the side but now his wifes found out, he will be trying to repair his marriage.
Forget about this man and find someone available to go out with.... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for wanting my girlfriend to get rid of old romantic keepsakes?
Q. I was watching my girlfriend cleaning out her closet/junk drawer and I happen to notice some things. Things like old pictures, cards, and letter from ex-boyfriends that she still keeps. I can't say I don't care but it is bothering me. The way I see ...
A. 29 July 2005: I dont think you should try and force your girlfriend to burn the stuff if she doesnt want to, however, i dont think she should be holding on to it either.
Tell her how these things make you feel and hopefully she will get rid of them herself.... (read in full...)
I just want an apology for his standing me up on our date!
Q. I have a dating problem. I know this guy who asked me out. I met him in the hospital while my father was there. So anyway he kissed me and he gave me my first kiss. He is 21 and I am 16. Anyway the day of the date he never came. I just want an ...
A. 28 July 2005: Forget about him and an apology, hes not worth it.... (read in full...)
What's your opinion of my plan to meet my online guy?
Q. Dear Friends, I have been talking with this guy I meet online for almost 8 months. We talk online and on the phone, it has become a habit for us to talk daily. I have very strong feelings for him and we only live about 2 hours apart. I love him, I k...
A. 28 July 2005: The only reason you are able to open up to this man better is because you are talking to him on a computer screen.
Just because he has spent 8 months knowing you doesnt mean he may not have an alterior motive for when he meets you.
I would be very ... (read in full...)
My younger partner wants to go out with his friends when I can't! I worry that he'll find someone else...
Q. I am very much in love with my partner who is 11 years younger than me. We have been together for over two years! He is only 19, but mature for his age. I don't know what to do though, as he has started to go out all of the time with his friends,...
A. 28 July 2005: At 19, he is just beginning to realisae what fun it is to go out with friends. I dont think you should stop him going out but you should make it clear that its not acceptable for him to go away for days at a time.... (read in full...)
Trying to decide whether to leave my ungrateful boyfriend for my male friend...
Q. Hi, Been in a relationship for 3 years. I love my boyfriend but he treats me really ungratefully. The thing is, I have a male friend who is older than me, who I really like, and is more than willing to treat me the way I deserve. Every time I'm...
A. 28 July 2005: If you choose to begin a relationship with this other man then you must end things with your boyfriend first.
Tell him how you feel about his behaviour and why.Maybe he isnt as ungrateful as you think.... (read in full...)
My partner's grandmother is so demanding that I wish she wouldn't visit so often!
Q. I am expecting my third child with my partner and although everything seems to be OK, there is just one problem, his grandmother. She is in her 90's and is very demanding, insisting we have her once every week for dinner and She stays all day. I ...
A. 27 July 2005: Why not compromise and either have her every second week for the day or have her for dinner and an hour afterwards every week?... (read in full...)
My fiancee has booked 4 holidays this year. I'm afraid my finances won't allow me the same liberty!
Q. Hi I've been with my fiancee now for a year and a half. We are due to get married next year, the trouble is, she likes going on holidays, lots of them. She works in a college and gets 6 weeks off every summer, I however work in an office 9 to 5...
A. 27 July 2005: You are right to worry about what your marriage is going to be like if this is how things are now.
The way that she is behaving is by no means reasonable or fair.
You must tell her how you feel and your fears for your future marriage. Ask her if h... (read in full...)
Can you fall in love with someone over the phone?
Q. Is it possible to fall in love with someone you havent met in person yet?? I feel I have fell in love with my soulmate! We talk on the phone all the time but with our schedules not meeting up is the only thing that is keeping us apart! Not to me...
A. 27 July 2005: Possibly you have fallen in love with her personality. The risk is that you will not be attracted to her when you meet in the flesh.
It certainly isnt wrong to feel this way unless you are harmoing others which you dont appear to be doing.... (read in full...)
I can't help feeling like I'm not as attractive as my boyfriend's skinny exes...
Q. All my boyfriend's exes were really skinny and I'm pretty much average. He says it shouldn't bother me and that he thinks I'm fine the way I am but the fact that he has dated all these super slim girls and obviously finds that look attractive has ...
A. 27 July 2005: If hes going out with you, he obviously finds you attractive.
Perhaps these ex girlfriends were thinner than you but they obviously didnt have much else going for them if hes not going out with them any more.
I dont think you should worry at all.... (read in full...)
I don't think I can stand my partner's drinking binges and disappearances any more.
Q. High School Sweethearts. I came in the military and decided that my boyfriend, at the time, was my one and only. Once in the military, we kept a long distance relationship, and after school got engaged. Drinking became a problem, better yet, an ...
A. 27 July 2005: This is not good for you and not good for your children. this man has had enough chances and blown every one.
Personally i would leave him as this is possibly the only thing you can do top make him face up to reality and get a grip on his life if i... (read in full...)
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