I don't think I can stand my partner's drinking binges and disappearances any more.
Q. High School Sweethearts. I came in the military and decided that my boyfriend, at the time, was my one and only. Once in the military, we kept a long distance relationship, and after school got engaged. Drinking became a problem, better yet, an ...
A. 27 July 2005: This is not good for you and not good for your children. this man has had enough chances and blown every one.
Personally i would leave him as this is possibly the only thing you can do top make him face up to reality and get a grip on his life if i... (read in full...)
Ten years ago, I split with my ex, but I still have strong feelings for him!
Q. Hi, I have been having dreams about my ex from college. He was my 1st proper boyfriend at the age of 16-18. I loved him so much, and the only reason we split up was because he moved away to study. I didn't want to hold him back. He is 3 years ...
A. 27 July 2005: You dont sound like you love him, you sound obsessed!
Throw away the tapes of his voice and all other reminders of him.
He has most probably moved on with his life and has left your relationship in the past.
Go out more and meet new people, its ... (read in full...)
I love my fiancee and I don't want to lose him, so why did I sleep with another man?
Q. I've been with my Boyfriend for 2 1/2 yrs and we are supposed to be getting married next year. A couple of days ago I slept with another man! I now dont know how I feel and I can't bring myself to look at him. My b/f knows I met up with this...
A. 27 July 2005: Your friend is right, you need to make a decision.
I also think that the right decision wpuld be to end things with both of these men, at least for the time being until you decide what it is you really want and whether you wil be able to stay fait... (read in full...)
After chatting online, she wants to meet, but I'm 40 and she's 17...
Q. I have someone im really interested in, and she thinks I'm a lovely sexy guy. We chatted a lot on msn, and she wants to meet me, and as good looking as she is, her being 17, and me being 40 is something that's making me think a twice about it. She ...
A. 27 July 2005: This girl is far too young for you.You are old enough to be her father! Go out and find someone your own age. What could you possibly have in common with a 17 year old?????... (read in full...)
It's been 26 years. Would I be a stalker if I sent him a letter and asked to meet again?
Q. 26 years ago, when I was 18, I briefly met a young musician on vacation whose band had just been in the charts. He was about to leave to stay with his parents in another town (he said) and asked me to go with him. Partly because I had no confiden...
A. 27 July 2005: I dont think you would be a stalker to contact him once more, but if he doesnt reply this time, you need to forget about him.
I also do not think it is appropriate for you to pursue a relationship with this man while you are still in a rela... (read in full...)
My bf is usually sweet, but lately he's really quite mean to me!
Q. I am 16 years old and have been with my boyfriend of 14 years old for over a year. He constantly tells me he loves me and I really do love him. Most of the time he is really sweet and would probably do anything for me but recently he's been acting ...
A. 27 July 2005: I think it sounds like this boy is merely going through the teenage years.
All teenagers can become grumpy for no apparent reason.
Girls mature quicker than boys too, so, you are much older than this boy in the mind.... (read in full...)
We broke up because of the distance and because of her parents... Now I don't know what to do.
Q. Hi. I recently broke up with a girl who I've been going out with for about 2 months and a half. We're both about to turn 16 and I broke up with her about 2 months ago. (it seems like a very short time here). The reason I broke up with her is becau...
A. 27 July 2005: I think it would be healthier for you to move on with your life and try to forget about this girl, it is a long time to wait until you are seniors and she may not want to wait that long. You will meet other girls that you like in time.... (read in full...)
I got rid of my abusive boyfriend and I have my life back. Would it work if we visited sometimes?
Q. I finally kicked him out. He was a very obsessive/possessive man. He verbally abused me and manipulated me. We had been together for 3 years, and lived together for 10 months. I am glad I have my life back, but I cannot help to feel sad and miss ...
A. 27 July 2005: I dont think it would be a good idea to remain friends with this man, if you do, i believe that he will get back into your life and start controlling you again.
I think it would be best for the two of you to make fresh starts.
This man will nev... (read in full...)
I want to break up with my girlfriend, but she's emotionally blackmailing me and threatening self harm...
Q. I really need to get out of my relationship for my own health and for my future that I could have, but my girlfriend won't let me have. She is emotionally blackmailing me saying she will hurt herself if I leave her and I am the most unhappy I have ...
A. 26 July 2005: People who threaten to hurt themselves very rarely do so.
she is using this to keep you with her.
All you can do is end the relationship and move on.
If she does harm herself then you are NOT to blame, she must learn to realise that she cannot d... (read in full...)
Do I have the right to give my boyfriend of 4 months an ultimatum about leaving his wife?
Q. I am a 35 year old divorced mother of two. I have been divorced 9 years now and I have dated off and on. I am now in a relationship, only four months in mind you, but a serious one at that. He calls several times a day, I see him at least 3 ...
A. 26 July 2005: No, you dont have any right to tell him anything as you are merely the 'other woman' in his life.
if he hasnt left his wife by now, then he never will and why should he when he has his cake and is eating it too?... (read in full...)
She's thrown me out, but I always cave in and go back to her. Now I want to guarantee we stay together...
Q. Can anyone help me? I have been seeing my g/f on and off 4 3 and half years. I love her more than anything, but my relationship is causing so much tension. We have a very passionate relationship, and in the past, my g/f has thrown me out of the ho...
A. 26 July 2005: It sounds like you have a very unhealthy relationship with your ex.
I dont think it would be good for either you or her to continue in this relationship.
... (read in full...)
When my marriage was in trouble, I had a brief affair. Now I just feel used...
Q. hi, I had a brief affair because of some problems in my marriage. The affair is now over. Instead of feeling better, I feel used by the other man who promised to be there for me no matter what. My husband does not know of the affair, but he r...
A. 26 July 2005: You had an affir and now YOU feel used??
I think it is your husband who should be feeling used.
You say you love your husband but i dont think you can if it is so easy for you to have an affair and you are unable to forget this other man.
Yo... (read in full...)
Cheated on my boyfriend of 2 weeks with his friend... and I might be pregnant!
Q. I don't know what to do. I'm going out with my best friend and weve been going out for 2 weeks. I cheated on him a week ago with his friend and I had a big crush on him and now it hurts me to even look at my boyfriend cause I made a mistake. And not ...
A. 26 July 2005: First, you must find out if you are pregnant or not.
If you are and you are sure that this other man ids the father then you have to tell both him and your boyfriend.
It will not be easy but it is the right thing to do.... (read in full...)
I dated someone else during the split. Now the other man is pushing to marry me!
Q. hello, I am a lady aged 29. I have been going out with my boyfriend for five years now. We once broke up for 4 months (it really affected both me and my boyfriend) and I left my country to visit my sister abroad. During my visit I was so despera...
A. 26 July 2005: There is no easy way to tell him you will just have to say that you dont want to marry him and tell him the reason why.
... (read in full...)
I found out he'd advertised naked on a sex site! Now he wants me to forgive him...
Q. I have found out that my fiance has put a personal ad on a sex site with a naked picture of himself and asking for responses from men and woman to have exciting sex sessions. He also said some pretty nasty things about me to make people feel sorry ...
A. 26 July 2005: Nude pictures? This is going a bit far!
perhaps he did just do it in a moment of madness but I would keep an eye on him.
Give him one more chance and if he does anything klike this again, i would consider ending the relationship.... (read in full...)
We were engaged... but then he moved out, broke up and just said he needs time alone!
Q. I'm so confused right now. We were together for 2 years and finally moved in with each other in August. In January he asked me to marry him. We moved out in April, back in with my parents, to get out of financial debt, then a month later he b...
A. 26 July 2005: How long does he need on his own?
If he was ready to get married to you then he should be discussing his feelings with you.
I dont think he was ready to get married.
Give him a week alone and if he is still unsure, suggest to him that you break up... (read in full...)
What did she mean by her whispered message, as I was leaving?
Q. After about a month of dating see each other on every weekend for three weeks, (We live close - about 20 mins - to each other. We email, talk on the phone from time to time. She is a quiet person) then she invites me over to her place on Monday ...
A. 26 July 2005: It sounds to me that she wants to see more of you. ... (read in full...)
My girl broke up because she swears she can "feel it in her gut" that I cheated, but I didn't!
Q. I am not sure what to do! I am real sad! My girlfriend told me that she can NEVER trust me and therefore broke up with me. She keeps accusing me of having cheated on her, but I NEVER did! She knew when we met that I have a very friendly personal...
A. 26 July 2005: If your girlfriend feels she can never trust you again, then ask her why she is still in the relationship.
I agree she must have been shocked and upset to find emails from female friends but she is taking things too far and making your life a mise... (read in full...)
His idea of "let's be friends" seems to include some fringe benefits...
Q. Me and this guy have been fooling around for a couple months now. I really really like him and he claims to like me too but says that be doesn't want a girlfriend. He'll say "let's just be friends" and then 10 minutes later we are back to fooling ...
A. 26 July 2005: Youre making yourself too avcailable to this man.
Why does he need to go out with you when he has you where he wants you?
I suggest telling him next time he tries anything that you are just friends.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got cold and distant over our relationship, and now he blames my "hot temper" for the break up...
Q. I was in a relationship for about a year and 2 months and my boyfriend and I were to be married in June. During this relationship he moved in with me and in mid September 2004 I noticed my boyfriend was in a depression, moody, anxious and somewhat...
A. 26 July 2005: There is definately something psychologically wrong with this man.
I dont believe that you were to 'blame' in any way for your break up.
If you can talk to your ex, suggest he sees a doctor about the way he is feeling. It sounds to me like he has s... (read in full...)
I broke up with her after 3 months of great sex, because I didn't love her. Was I in the wrong?
Q. I recently broke it off with a girl and hurt her, should I apologise? When we first met I liked her, she was very intelligent and artistic, but had a tendency to be very eccentric in social situations. We had a lot of sex, but I didn't love her...
A. 26 July 2005: I dont believe you were wrong to end the relationship if you felt that she wasnt right for you.
If you werent suited, you did the right thing by ending the relationship as soon as you were sure.... (read in full...)
Even though I don't want to be touched, I want to save my relationship with my boyfriend...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend now for about a year and a half, and I used to be mad about him. I had a personal problem about 3 years ago & I can't bear to be touched by him. I have gone off sex but I really do want to be with him. I'd love to stay ...
A. 26 July 2005: You will have to tell your boyfriend how you feel and why.
I would suggest counselling for you if you have not already done so as no relationship will survive the long term without touching.... (read in full...)
I've fallen completely for her - and her kids - but it seems like she's avoiding me. What's going on?
Q. I am single male. I have been talking to a woman for last 9 months or so. She's got three kids and is separated. I had fallen in love for her and she is on the top of my head all the time. She used to call me all the time but she has stopped ...
A. 26 July 2005: It doesnt sound like this woman is ready for a relationship.
Leave her alone for a while then give her a call. I think it would be best if you remained friends for now.
Make sure that you get out and live your life.... (read in full...)
My family don't like my ex, but should I forget that and try to patch things up with her?
Q. I met a great girl last December and for the first 5 months everything was great, even though we lived 80 miles apart. We have both been through a lot in the past 5 years ie she has been married and divorced and left without a penny, raped, a...
A. 26 July 2005: I agree that its none of your familys business who you chose to marry but do you really want to lose them altogether?
I think you should introduce this woman to your family again and ensure that they get to know her properly, I would also wait unti... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is sweet and caring, but he really ogles other women!
Q. My boyfriend is genuinely sweet and caring, but when it comes to looking at other girls he makes me feel really uncomfortable. The last episode was yesterday when we were on the train and he saw this girl sitting with her boyfriend in a short skirt. ...
A. 25 July 2005: I dont believe there is any harm in looking. Surely you must look at other men too? Maybe you are not aware of it and maybe your partner isnt aware that hes looking at these women. ... (read in full...)
My 40-something wife sometimes likes clubbing with her 21-yo gay friend. Do I have anything to worry about?
Q. I have a wonderful wife who is very loving. But I have some problems accepting that she likes to go clubbing now and again till 3 in the morning with a 21 year old gay male friend who has shown some interest in her. She is 40. Am I being over ...
A. 25 July 2005: I dont think that you should be concerned about your wife going out with her gay friend.
If this really bothers you though, why not get to know him better and make sure you and your wife go out regularly alone.... (read in full...)
I'd love to go out with the new guy, but will I risk contracting herpes?
Q. Hey there. I've been with my boyfriend, Paul* for 18 months now and he's a great guy but I've fallen for someone else. Craig* is older than me, 27 (I'm 18) but he's amazing and I want to be with him. I've decided to finish with Paul* but I'm worr...
A. 21 July 2005: There is a chance of you catching herpes but as long as you dont have sex while "Craig" has a flare up of herpes you shouldnt catch it.... (read in full...)
My girl's "friend" is making romantic gestures to her, and I just hate it!
Q. Hi My girlfriend of 6 months has a lot of male friends. She went through a pretty bad break up with her husband and has surrounded herself with a lot of male friends who have supported her and helped her out. I know all of them would love to b...
A. 20 July 2005: you are right, his valentine gesture was a bit much for a friend.
How dare your girlfriend say that the reason she has never went out with this man is because "the subject never came up"! This was very inconsiderate of her.
You cant expect to ba ab... (read in full...)
So many girls are interested. Do I have to pick just one?
Q. I have so many girlfriends. I have a serious problem that I couldn't manage my time for all of my girls. but I do love all of them very much. Do I have to choose one of them and love only one, or should I still be the same? "HAPPY BUT TIRED" Please ...
A. 20 July 2005: By all means see all of them at the same time as long as they know about it and are ok with it.
The only problem with this approach is that you will find difficulty finding a girlfriend that will want to put up with that!
Go out on dates but i do... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says nothing's wrong, but suddenly he's too busy to talk!
Q. I have boyfriend for 2 years. I'm 17. We just learn in the university. Before that, I met him about 5 day per week and phone every day. Now, when I call him he always says " I'm very busy I will call back " But he never called. I very serious. I ...
A. 20 July 2005: He is probably busy with his university work and possibly, new friends that he has made there.
Talk to him and tell him how you feel, hopefully he will begin to make more time for you once he knows how you feel.... (read in full...)
Is he blaming me for the grief he feels about his wife?
Q. I took your advice, and I am there for my boyfriend who has moved to TN. He came up for the weekend, we had a wonderful time. He invited me to come down and stay for 4 days which I booked yesterday. Last night he was very depressed. I tri...
A. 20 July 2005: It sounds like you have been very nice and patient wityh this man.
Do you think he ios over the death of his wife? If not, then he may not be ready for a relationship at the moment.
You need to talk to him and ask if this is the case, also, te... (read in full...)
I wasn't ready for a relationship with this man until he met someone new!
Q. I had a relationship with a man for 3 years, ended very badly, over the phone. I was in love with him, for the wrong reasons, and could never really be myself. Since our break up 3 years ago, I met a really great guy, but we had a very casual r...
A. 20 July 2005: Im afraid you have missed your chance with this man. You were not ready for a relationship when he was single, now, he is attatched so I believe that you should let him move on with his life and you move on with yours.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's sister is always prying into our relationship...
Q. My boyfriend's sister needs to know everything about us. I have a boyfriend and he has a sister. She always pay attention to our relation and need to known everything although it's was a secret, personal or something impressive that I like to k...
A. 20 July 2005: Next time she asks anything you dont think she should know, just say to her "thats personal" or "thats none of your business!" she should get the message.
She doesnt need to know everything thats going on.... (read in full...)
My inability to suffer indifference is causing a rift in my marriage...
Q. Bottom line I been married for eleven years now and the children are 4,7,10 years old. I have lost both confidence in my feeling for my husband and confidence in how I feel about myself in this relationship. Having had really bad experience about...
A. 20 July 2005: I think a lot of your problems are being helped along by your insecurities, perhaps you should consider counselling (either alone or with your husband) this will allow you to sort out your feelings and begin to change the way you think about things.... (read in full...)
How do I tell my co-worker about the special way I feel for him?
Q. I currently work in an office and am very good friends with one of the assistant managers. I feel I can tell him anything, speak to him anytime, and take comfort and security from his presence. I have had deep feelings for him in the back of my mind ...
A. 20 July 2005: I think you are making more of this situation than is really there.
It sounds to me like this man is just being friendly towards you. Nothing more.
Also note that he is married so you should stay well away.... (read in full...)
Four years with my partner and one night with a stranger. Who's the baby's father?
Q. After breaking up with a possessive and extrememly jealous partner I found myself out on the town for the first time in 4 years. Drinking way too much and not knowing where I was at iI had a one night stand with, well a stranger. Nine weeks an...
A. 20 July 2005: No, its not 100% that the baby will be your partners. The only sure way to find out is through a DNA test afetr the baby is born.... (read in full...)
Suddenly feel like I don't know my long-distance boyfriend any more...
Q. Hi, I have been seeing my boyfriend for 6 months now, and recently things have gone down hill. He lives in France, I live in the UK. We got together 3 weeks before he was due to move back to france after spending the summer in the UK. w...
A. 19 July 2005: Possibly he is having second thoughts about your relationship.
The only way to find out whats on his maind is to ask him. write him an email if you feel you cant talk to him. If he doesnt reply, i wouldnt chase him.... (read in full...)
He comes, he goes, but he never stays. What do I do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend nearly 5 years. We went out together when we were young then split when I was 16. Never seen him for years. I had a relationship for 11 years and have 3 kids. It ended although I was in it I could not help but think of...
A. 19 July 2005: Im afraid you dont have him to lose him.You have made yourself a convenience for this man and regardless of his relationship with his wife you sre still the 'other woman'.
If he wont change then you will have to break off the relationship for your... (read in full...)
He didn't like my male friends, but now he wants to be one of them...
Q. Me and my ex-boyfriend split up about four weeks ago, due to the fact the he couldn't handle me having a lot of friends, which happen to be boys. He thought that there was something going on between me and and one of my friends. Now he's saying h...
A. 19 July 2005: If you want to remain friends with him and have him in your life in a platonic way, then by all means do so, but dont be friends with him if you dont want to just so you wont hurt his feelings.... (read in full...)
He's leaving in 4 weeks and I still don't know his intentions
Q. Hiya. I have recently developed feelings for a guy, now, it's a complicated situation: He is moving away for work and as it stands he is only here in the week anyway. He goes away for good in about 4 weeks. I normally only see him on...
A. 19 July 2005: This chap is not wanting a relationship.
It would not be very sensible to start a relationship with him as he is moving away anyway.
If he had been staying close by, things may have been different, but, as it stands you will have to allow him to m... (read in full...)
After she told me that we have sex "wrong", I was at a total loss...
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now. Recently though, she has told me that I have sex wrong. Maybe not "wrong" but that it's just sex to me. I love the girl to death. To be honest, I feel I love her more than she me, but this is ...
A. 19 July 2005: im not quite sure how you could have sex "wrong". ask her what she means by this.... (read in full...)
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