A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do I tell my coworker that I am not here to babysit her sadness for her or to control the capacity she has for emotions. Everyone in the office literally caters to her when she pouts and screams. She’s laid on the floor at one point to get attention. We’re 26 year old women and I’ve never been in a position where someone was so stressful about not being able to act profesional and like an adult. I mean we work at a bank for god sakes. Clearly I’m frustrated but for the last 6 months all I’ve heard is her sniffling about how much work she has to do at her job which is the same as mine and I constantly take things off her plate so she’ll just stop and be quiet for a few minutes. I know, I know. You’re not always gonna work with people you like but holy crap, to lay on the ground and get sent home early as a reward. I’m already looking for another job but how would you guys even approach this with such an immature coworker.
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male
reader, Justryingtohelp  +, writes (10 June 2020):
Keep looking for another job and get out of there as quickly as you can. This sounds like a no-win situation for you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2020): I don’t think there’s much you can do about this coworker except to determine what you are able to do and then draw a clear line with your boss/manager and stick to doing only the amount of work you are able to do. There’s no point in saying anything to this coworker, especially since it seems management has her back. Keep looking for another job and leave when you can. It’s not a healthy work environment for you, and management needs to learn that they can’t keep employees when they cater to such people.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2020): Hello, I’m the author of this and in my frustration I forgot to clarify that I’ve had my previous manager reach out and tell me to take stuff off her plate “cause she does so much” even though we have the same job and she’s just louder about the work we have to do. I’ve stopped doing that so now she just throws shady comments about me being lazy when it’s not my job to do her job. I also had that previous manager take a higher position above us and her and he still only comes to our office to check on her and how she’s doing. He also suggested I “fight for my job” in those words by helping her even though she doesn’t politely as for help she just passive aggressively slams binders when she’s organizing stuff that she chose to do.
And yes there’s only 2 of us but I agree it is the work place from hell and I don’t know what hold she has on our management but nothing gets done and everyone just comes and asks her if she’s ok every day.
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (9 June 2020):
 Did she really do that at work?! I can't believe it. That's so unprofessional. I really don't blame you for feeling like you do. Often times, we all have personal issues that we're dealing with at home but we separate our working lives from our personal lives in order to earn a living.
It seems as though she does not care for her job coupled with everything else and it's making your time there very unpleasant. I agree that you need to stop saving the day. It's unfair for you to increase your workload because your coworker is being a brat. That is not your responsibility. You're there to do YOUR job, not hers too.
It's good that you're looking for a job elsewhere if that's what you really want. Leave everyone else to deal with her messiness.
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A
male
reader, Justryingtohelp +, writes (9 June 2020):
I would treat her like any other petulant child by ignoring bad behaviour (how silly will she feel lying on the floor with everyone ignoring her) and praising professional behaviour. She is getting the attention she craves by behaving badly so has no incentive to stop.
Have you ever watched Fawlty Towers where Cybil is on the phone to her friend and just saying "oh I knoooooooow" over and over? I find this a perfect non-committal response to someone I can't be bothered with.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (9 June 2020):
 I'm with WiseOwlE
I'd be professional, kind, but also stop enabling this young woman.
Unless you are told to take her work load, don't do it. If she can't handle working maybe SHE needs to consider quitting and finding something else too.
But the thing is SHE has learned by acting like a toddler she can manipulate the people around her to do her work load (or part of it) and get to go home early.
I can't imagine HER being a productive worker, so why is she still there? Because the leadership/supervisors are not doing their job or nepotism (she is related to someone higher up).
STOP doing HER job for her. If she wants to roll around on the floor and cry ignore it, after you have asked if she is OK. Then tell your supervisor that she is having a meltdown and go about YOUR own job.
When you step in to do her job you are enabling her, not helping her.
And yes, I'd look elsewhere for a job if they are willing to keep this one around at the "expense of everyone else".
What a joke of a workplace!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (9 June 2020):
 This sounds like a workplace from hell. What sort of hold does she have over the employers / bosses that she can get away with this behaviour?
Stop doing her work, if she makes strong hints about you taking it on tell her you are over loaded at the moment.
When she throws herself on the floor, just say something inane like "oh dear" and step over her or walk around her.
When she starts whining and crying tell her you hope she is feeling better soon and just keep on with what you are meant to be doing.
If available to you go see a doctor for a sick note and get put on paid stress leave, for as long as possible. I know that's not possible everywhere.
And keep looking for a new position, this place sounds untenable.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (9 June 2020):
Hi there. If I were you and the other co-workers, it seems like it is time to go to the boss first, tell him/her exactly how this woman's behaviour affects your workload and others also.
And mention that because of this, you are seriously looking for another job, to escape this situation.
Don't even hesitate to report it to your superiors.
And do it sooner rather than later.
Don't give the boss an ultimatum, just be open and honest - stay calm - and just tell your boss, how it makes you feel, and that you feel forced to take on this woman's workload, for the sake of getting the work done.
It does sound like your boss somehow feels sorry for this woman, and doesn't want to fire her. So she keeps on giving her another chance, and another, hoping the problem will just go away on it's own.
That doesn't usually happen, unfortunately.
And apart from anything else, we all have problems in life to deal with. But it is wise to leave our problems at home, in or to keep our mind on the job, for which we are being paid good money to do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2020): I'd just do whatever everyone else is doing. I would ask her if she's okay, pretend to care; then walkaway. She needs an audience in order for her performance to have any affect.
If you're not her boss, why do you even bother?
If you're not told by the supervisor or manager to cover her workload, don't!
Your reasoning makes no sense. Just to make her be quiet? Are you the only other employee there?
Keep looking for another job.
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