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... Send *rmyMedic a private message | | | *rmyMedic's profile:I'm a married, 29 year old from the UK.
I'm a sergeant in the British Army, so I deal with young people (mostly teens), who have all the usual dramas and long distance relationship issues.
My speciality is Medicine I've spent the last 12 years as an army medic, which means I have lots of experience in trauma (which isn't very helpful here), Sports therapy, travel medicine, and GU medicine (Sexual Health).
When I found out about this site, it seemed to be another way to help people out. But I am very straight talking, so please don't be too offended if you don't like my honest opinions.
If there is any advise you should take away from this site it is: Never do anything that you can't explain to a Paramedic and always practice safe sex. |
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| Latest articles: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them?
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them? An STI is a sexually transmitted infection this is the "in vogue" name for what used to be called an Sexually transmitted disease (STD) This can range from pubic lice to AIDS and Hepatitis with m...
Why don't boys reply to my texts?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: Why don't boys reply to my texts? This is a commonly asked question at dear cupid and I understand it really isn't as important as a domestic violence question, but I feel it needs answering. Now this is just a personal opinion and if any guys ...
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What should I do when I first meet him? Hug? Say hey?
Q. im a 18 year old guy and im planning to go on a date with a 23 year old guy, i just dont know how to approach him when i meet him? hug? just a simple hey? what should i do when i first meet him? we have been set on a blind date by our friends... b...
A. 11 March 2009: I think a hug is a perfectly normal thing to do, go with that it will break the ice a bit.... (read in full...)
Do I wait it out for him? I'm head over heels!
Q. i really like the lad its unreal. i just love everything about him. anyways i have since last september and in february i got one of my friends to ask him out for me and my friend told me that he thought about it for a bit (he's always known that i ...
A. 11 March 2009: Ask him out, if he says no you know where you stand and can move on! Don't get a friend to do it, so you can actually see his response rather than getting the information second hand.... (read in full...)
Should he quit smoking so his sperm can get healthier?
Q. Dear whomever, I'm 18 years old and me and my boyfriend has been together for 1year and 2months and we have been trying to get pregnant since we was together for 6 months.....the only thing about is we haven't gotten pregnant... he smokes weed a l...
A. 11 March 2009: I think I answered this in your earlier post... (read in full...)
I think I might have caught my husband on a dating site?
Q. Dear cupid, I was looking though our computer last night and came across a site that should not have been on there when my husband asked me what i was looking at i asked him if he knew about this site he said no its a pop up i dont know alot abo...
A. 11 March 2009: Sounds dodgy to me! ... (read in full...)
I need help developing my 'gaydar'!
Q. There's a guy that i really like at my college. the only problem is that i don't know his name or anything about him! i am really shy and find it hard to make eye contact, but have wanted to get to know him more for about a year, and i really want ...
A. 11 March 2009: If you know one of his friends why not ask her about him, get some background info on him, there is a saying in my line of work: "Time spent in reconnaissance is seldom wasted!" find out as much as you can about this guy (not to the point of ... (read in full...)
I'm scared that what happened to me before might happen again!
Q. rite ok im not sayin this to get attention or sympathy!..i was sexually assualted and attempted rape on me a few years back! by my ex bf.. my new bf who i been with for almost two years wouldn dream of doin anythin to hurt me. but he started takin...
A. 11 March 2009: Sorry we missed you out.
OK do you know what these tablets are called because there are no tablets I know that are legal that raise your testosterone. But I may be wrong (it happens from time to time!)
I think you are perfectly justif... (read in full...)
Can a hostess make exceptions to her own invitation?
Q. hi i have recently hosted a birthday birthday for my kid. i also sent out a 'no siblings please' note in the invitations with one or two exceptions wherin the siblings were close to my son. one of the parent cornered me so as to why there w...
A. 11 March 2009: Your party your rules! This parent is just being arsey about it, probably because she can't palm off all her brats on you for a day.... (read in full...)
What is meant by this?
Q. What is meant by 'mind and heart tease eachother'? I have been trying to work it out but with no avail. Any insight to this would be great. ...
A. 11 March 2009: In what context? It sounds like some childish emotional dating thing, but then again it would we're on Dear Cupid!
... (read in full...)
I have chlamydia. How do I tell my boyfriend?
Q. I feel physically ill right now, I just had a medication abortion last week. I got pregnant by my boyfriend of 3 years and we knew we couldn't support a baby. I was off of birth control for only one month when I got pregnant. While I was at Plan...
A. 11 March 2009: Just be up front with him, even though he is a racist scum bag, shame it's only chlamydia you could have given him!
You really must tell him otherwise his going to go round infecting lots and lots of other girls!... (read in full...)
Help Trying to get pregnant
Q. Dear whomever, I'm 18 years old and me and my boyfriend has been together for 1year and 2months and we have been trying to get pregnant since we ...
A. 11 March 2009: YES he should quit smoking of any description! And save up for an engagement ring! You are telling me that this Pot head, wants to be the father to your children and he hasn't even committed to you yet! I'm not saying that hope that he is infertile, ... (read in full...)
Can I get pregnant from sperm in the mouth?
Q. Well im a little nervous. I usually have a 29 day cycle, ive had it for 4 months now. my last period was Febuary 8 2009. I had oral sex with my boyfriend last feb 26, 3 days after my calculated ovulation time of feb 23. Now im around 3 days la...
A. 11 March 2009: Ha ha ha! Oh god your serious aren't you?
You CANNOT get pregnent from giving blow jobs, you can from pre-cum in your vagina, and you won't if a spoy of pre-cum got in a pail of water!
PLEASE before having sex again, read about it A LOT, everyt... (read in full...)
Am I bisexual?
Q. Hi guys, So, one night i was out with my fiance and we bumped into our gym crew in a club. My fiance was so drunk that night i was really embarrassed and let him do his own thing. My gym instructor (who's female) was stood in the corner moving to...
A. 11 March 2009: You could be, it doesn't matter, why use labels if you want a relationship with a woman go for it!
I think people get to hung up on trying to label their sexual orientation instead of being happy, trying new things and not worrying about it.
E... (read in full...)
14 yo and in love, but I don't know his name
Q. I saw one guy in the hospital when i went to visit my dad in the hospital.. he was hospitalized too. his bed is just nearby my dad's bed. he's pretty handsome i think :))) i realized that he is looking at me when i suddenly wanted to turn over a...
A. 11 March 2009: Wow, how shallow? You are in love with a guy because of the way he looks, because it can't be his personality, you don't know him and have never spoken to him, I doubt it's his athletic ability as he's in hospital, maybe he had some books that you ... (read in full...)
Should I return my big sister's love
Q. hi, im kinda falling for my sister and i want to know if its alright to return the same love to her. im 18 and shes 20. we always hang out alot, tease each other, and support each other. when I was younger, i never really had any friends, i was ...
A. 11 March 2009: NO this is very very wrong! You both need to get help!... (read in full...)
Why am I different down there?
Q. I recently removed most of my pubic hair and I've come to notice that my skin down there is about 2-3 shades darker than my normal skin. Some of my friends who have removed their hair claim that their skin is lighter. Is there something wrong with ...
A. 11 March 2009: You and your friends are perfectly normal, skin tones vary down there don't worry about it!... (read in full...)
Sick and inappropriate prank makes me want to divorce him!
Q. I was told by the army 4 weeks ago that my husband was killed in Iraq. I became depressed, and started over-eating, and constantly crying, wishing he'd come back. However, I was sickened to find out the whole thing was a hoax about a week ag...
A. 11 March 2009: Janet, I'm sorry but you did say "The Army told me that the call was made from their base and it was "extremely vile""
So you implied that it was a phone call from Iraq, where about in Iraq is he based? And what unit is he with?
... (read in full...)
My partner is abusive both physically & emotionally..trapped!
Q. Hi everyone I am a 33 with 3 children and with my partner for 19 years. The problem is my partner has always been very quick tempered. I could handle it but it is starting to boil over on to our 14 year old daughter.The other night he came home fro...
A. 11 March 2009: Go to the police, how long will it be before your children see this man murder you? Or you watch him murder them!
Can you let your children grow up thinking this is the way men should treat women?
He is going to go too far one day, then you an... (read in full...)
He turned to porn because he said he was worried he wasn't attracted to me
Q. while we were talking/fighting, my boyfriend told me recently that a while ago he had doubts about whether or not he was sexually attracted to me anymore, so he turned to porn to see if those girls were more attractive. he told me that he thought he ...
A. 11 March 2009: Time to move on sweetheart, this guy is an Arse and you deserve better!... (read in full...)
I have many girl friends but I am not ready for a relationship
Q. I feels lik i want 2 start a relatnship wit a lady but inside of me i know am not ready 4 any kind of relatnship, why i said so is dat i have many friends dat ar girls but i hv not lik start tinking about any of dem in d nite and i even finds it ...
A. 11 March 2009: Like everyone else has said stop with the lazy writing, put all your questions in one post, and give us some background about you, we are willing to spend our time helping you, so give a little time to make your question understandable and legible ... (read in full...)
Did he say he loves me?
Q. I've been with my lovely boyfriend for a little while now, and the other night.. I think he may have said that he loved me, but I really dont know if he did or not and now im scared that if he did say that, that he wont say it again due to my lack ...
A. 11 March 2009: He'll say it again, if he said it in a muffled kind of way when the music was on he probably didn't want you to hear anyway.
Sometimes people want to tell their partner that they love them but not actually let them hear it as they are scared o... (read in full...)
Incestuous thoughts - I know it is wrong, please help me
Q. Hi, last post was rejected, too explicit :( I just need peoples opinions. I have always hated my sister (I am 34 she is 30) I am divorced 2 kids, she is single 1 kid and I have been turned on by incest for the past month or so. anyways, to ...
A. 11 March 2009: I best not comment(can anyone else hear duelling banjos?)... (read in full...)
Could this mean that I am gay?
Q. I have a question. I have had a past that is bugging the heck out of me. What should I do to like keep my mind off of things and just face the fact what i did was wrong? I am 17 soon and around the age 13-15 when i was in the middle of just getting ...
A. 11 March 2009: Just a reply to mmm3, I am straight and married and happy as are many of my gay married friends! Do you think your homosexual friends aren't as happy as your married friends because of the pressure from society (YOU and people like you) to be normal ... (read in full...)
Scared of pregnancy after my first time
Q. Oh god, and I thought I'll be safe when I do my first sex! It just happened, I wanted it to happen. I was worried because we didn't have any condom, I wasn't on pill either. Argh!!! I'm in a foreign country, and I have no health insurance, I also ...
A. 11 March 2009: Buy some condoms while you are there as well! The Plan B pills (Emergency Contraceptive Pill) can cause unwanted side effects if taken too often, so practice safe sex in future!... (read in full...)
My wife confessed she cheated on me before we were married
Q. I am 12 years into my marriage. My wife just told me the other day that she cheated on me (had sex) with at least one other guy after we had started dating and even after becoming engaged to be married. I had no idea about this until now. I am ...
A. 11 March 2009: So she just told you out of the blue after 12 years of marriage? How very strange, has she told you why she felt the need to tell you this now? What was it that made her think this was a good idea? Was it through guilt? Has she been seeing a ... (read in full...)
The good ones are taken. How do I find a girl?
Q. im 14 and im looking for a girlfriend seems as everyone is taken ,how do i find a girl....
A. 11 March 2009: Stop looking at the hottest girls, join clubs and groups that interest you, and meet people with similar interests to you, enjoy yourself and stop stressing, there are plenty of single girls out there.... (read in full...)
How do you motivate yourself to be healthier?
Q. I know this site is generally for relationship advice but I have a query I'd love some help on, and I'm sure it's something many people can relate to or give advice on. I am terribly unhealthy. I eat way too much and exercise way too little. ...
A. 11 March 2009: Set yourself realistic goals and targets. I'm in the army and I find that the shouting physical training instructors don't motivate me at all, I see it all as a big joke and deliberately go against them. But I have just bought Wii Fit, and I have ... (read in full...)
Is what he did considered cheating/
Q. alright, ive been going out with this great guy. we've been friends forever and about a year ago we started going out. i trusted him with my life but i dont really know anymore. recently he went to a sleepover for something at school and there ...
A. 11 March 2009: You asked if I considered this cheating and my answer is NO, he got in a silly game respected you and kiss her on the cheek when he could have quite easily kissed her properly, also he told you the next day, he could have not told you at all, which ... (read in full...)
My husband hits me and I'm not sure what to do
Q. I have a huge issue i have been married now for almost 3 years and im 23years old but my husband just turned 28, he is a cop and i am a student i was with him when he had to go to police academy and stuck by him in thick and thin but im starting to ...
A. 11 March 2009: I disagree with you!
You do not love him, you think you love him because he has made you feel so worthless, that you think nobody else could love you, and then he does the classic abuser come back to apologise and tell you he loves you. There he... (read in full...)
I just don't understand why I can't get a boyfriend.
Q. I just don't understand why i can't get a boyfriend, not been big headed but everyone tells me how beautiful Iam and how well i present myself, but the trouble is it's getting me down, no man ever chats me up, is it because i look to what some say ...
A. 11 March 2009: Maybe you are not as pretty as you think? You could be giving of an aurora of arrogance!
Maybe you need to stop hanging out places where there are guys also hanging out, for example bars the mall etc.
Actually join a club or group where you ... (read in full...)
Sick and inappropriate prank makes me want to divorce him!
Q. I was told by the army 4 weeks ago that my husband was killed in Iraq. I became depressed, and started over-eating, and constantly crying, wishing he'd come back. However, I was sickened to find out the whole thing was a hoax about a week ag...
A. 11 March 2009: I'm sorry please ignore my original post I actually think I have got the wrong end of the sick here. But your story doesn't add up, and I think this post is a hoax too.
If this is real you have seen my answer and I'm sorry for doubting you, but... (read in full...)
How many is too many
Q. is six guys alot for a 17 year old girl to sleep with? please help!!!...
A. 11 March 2009: Again at 29 I'm considered old on this site, I think six sexual partners at 17 is very high!
But to be fair as long as you are happy with that and the stigma that goes with it, it's your choice!... (read in full...)
He treats me like shit but I'm head over heels for him
Q. All right, where to start..? I guess first off let me start by saying I am crazy about him and don’t want to loose him… My man and I have been going out for a half a year now, but he still doesn’t consider me his girlfriend. He told me from the begi...
A. 11 March 2009: You are being selfish here if you truly love him you will stand by him at take what ever he throws at you! He tells you he loves you, isn't that enough? If you give it enough time you could change the way he is and live happily ever after!
W... (read in full...)
Is my penis a normal size?
Q. I have a penis that is about 2 inches when not hard but when erected its about 4.5 is that normal? im 13...
A. 11 March 2009: Perfectly normal!... (read in full...)
Confused in Iraq
Q. So, Im a US soldier currently deployed to Iraq for the third time. I met my wife in 2006, shortly after returning from my first deployment. We had a very strong, and wonderful relationship. Right before I left in February of 07 for a second ...
A. 11 March 2009: Good for you, I'm pleased we have amused you if nothing else! I really hope you can get what you both want out of this. Sorry for hijacking your post, but there are so many people giving advise to soldiers who really don't know how the Army work, ... (read in full...)
Sick and inappropriate prank makes me want to divorce him!
Q. I was told by the army 4 weeks ago that my husband was killed in Iraq. I became depressed, and started over-eating, and constantly crying, wishing he'd come back. However, I was sickened to find out the whole thing was a hoax about a week ag...
A. 10 March 2009: Hold on you said the CALL came from his base in Iraq, and now you are saying two guys in suits turned up, can you clarify exactly what happened as I'm confused?... (read in full...)
Could this mean that I am gay?
Q. I have a question. I have had a past that is bugging the heck out of me. What should I do to like keep my mind off of things and just face the fact what i did was wrong? I am 17 soon and around the age 13-15 when i was in the middle of just getting ...
A. 10 March 2009: Yes it means you could be gay, but then again you might not be.
Do you fancy boys and not girls? Do you fancy boys and girls? Do you just fancy girls?
There is nothing wrong with exploring your sexuality, it's fairly normal to experiment. Do w... (read in full...)
Online in the last 30 days..what does that mean?
Q. I know this might sound dumb..but what does it mean when a profile dating site says, 'online last 30 days' Does that mean he hasn't logged on just recently, but yes in the last 30 days?...
A. 10 March 2009: Why don't you ask him?... (read in full...)
Which guy do I go for?
Q. okay so 2 guys like me i really only like one but the other one is making it hard for me to choose because hes being so sweet i know your gonna say go for who you like more but i want something besides that answer please...
A. 10 March 2009: Go for the one you don't like, there you go I gave you the answer you wanted!... (read in full...)
No period since coming off the pill
Q. Hey i've been on the pill and had unprotected sex with my long term boyfriend. I thought it was a good idea to come off the pill as it was giving me spots and terrible mood swings. Ever since i have come off this pill i haven't had my period. Co...
A. 10 March 2009: You could but it is very unlikely. Best thing to do is go and see your doctor, who could also find a new pill for you which doesn't give you the unwanted side effects.... (read in full...)
I think I upset my teacher
Q. I'm afraid that I've upset my teacher. Our class was in the library today and we were supposed to be doing research for an upcoming project. I'd checked out a few books for it and felt pretty good about the whole thing, so i decided to read ...
A. 10 March 2009: I'm sure he'll get over it, at the end of the day it's his job to educate you and if you are appearing to be messing about on line instead of getting on with your work he will tell you off, it's his job.
Don't worry about it, I'm sure that onc... (read in full...)
He loves my best friend
Q. I'm a 14 year old girl whos in love. at least, i think its love, ive never felt for anyone like i do for him, he doesnt just give me butterflies, he weakens my knees and melts me, he sends shivers up my spines and i actually care for him. enough to ...
A. 10 March 2009: I think "TOMMY" needs professional help!(from a psychiatrist) and what do you mean by "i actually care for him. enough to help him hurt me" why does he need help to hurt you and in what sense?
I'm a little concerned with this post, I'm not sure... (read in full...)
No period since coming off the pill
Q. Hey i've been on the pill and had unprotected sex with my long term boyfriend. I thought it was a good idea to come off the pill as it was giving me spots and terrible mood swings. Ever since i have come off this pill i haven't had my period. Co...
A. 10 March 2009: YES you could be pregnant! The idea is when you stop using one form of birth control you use another! For example stop using the pill start using condoms! Simple really isn't it?... (read in full...)
Sick and inappropriate prank makes me want to divorce him!
Q. I was told by the army 4 weeks ago that my husband was killed in Iraq. I became depressed, and started over-eating, and constantly crying, wishing he'd come back. However, I was sickened to find out the whole thing was a hoax about a week ag...
A. 10 March 2009: As a Serving soldier myself his behaviour is absolutely despicable! I agree with Star. But also, write to his commanding officer (basically replace your hubbies Number Rank Name on the address that you send him blueys to and write "Commanding ... (read in full...)
Confused in Iraq
Q. So, Im a US soldier currently deployed to Iraq for the third time. I met my wife in 2006, shortly after returning from my first deployment. We had a very strong, and wonderful relationship. Right before I left in February of 07 for a second ...
A. 10 March 2009: Well as jessica04 says in the US Army you have to finish your contract, that would be awful for me as I'm on a 22 year contract meaning I wouldn't be able to leave till I was 40!
And you are right they do own you, and for good reason, could yo... (read in full...)
Confused in Iraq
Q. So, Im a US soldier currently deployed to Iraq for the third time. I met my wife in 2006, shortly after returning from my first deployment. We had a very strong, and wonderful relationship. Right before I left in February of 07 for a second ...
A. 10 March 2009: Just to answer Natasia it really isn't as simple as just telling your Sergeant Major (He's the scary one that shouts a lot), "I don't want to play soldiers any more, can I go home now please!" To leave the British Army you have to give 12 months ... (read in full...)
Confused in Iraq
Q. So, Im a US soldier currently deployed to Iraq for the third time. I met my wife in 2006, shortly after returning from my first deployment. We had a very strong, and wonderful relationship. Right before I left in February of 07 for a second ...
A. 9 March 2009: You are in a tough situation here. Talk to your Chain of command, welfare officer and padre and if all else fails go to your field mental health team (Trust me they can pull all kinds of strings!) There could be a way out of this deployment yet.
... (read in full...)
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