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... Send *rmyMedic a private message | | | *rmyMedic's profile:I'm a married, 29 year old from the UK.
I'm a sergeant in the British Army, so I deal with young people (mostly teens), who have all the usual dramas and long distance relationship issues.
My speciality is Medicine I've spent the last 12 years as an army medic, which means I have lots of experience in trauma (which isn't very helpful here), Sports therapy, travel medicine, and GU medicine (Sexual Health).
When I found out about this site, it seemed to be another way to help people out. But I am very straight talking, so please don't be too offended if you don't like my honest opinions.
If there is any advise you should take away from this site it is: Never do anything that you can't explain to a Paramedic and always practice safe sex. |
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| Latest articles: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them?
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them? An STI is a sexually transmitted infection this is the "in vogue" name for what used to be called an Sexually transmitted disease (STD) This can range from pubic lice to AIDS and Hepatitis with m...
Why don't boys reply to my texts?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: Why don't boys reply to my texts? This is a commonly asked question at dear cupid and I understand it really isn't as important as a domestic violence question, but I feel it needs answering. Now this is just a personal opinion and if any guys ...
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Tired of using hands, what else can I use?
Q. Hey iam 19 and as most guys I enjoy masturbation but iam sick of using my hands I want to use something new but I dnt know wat to use does anyone here kno wat I could use...
A. 6 March 2009: I agree with q1605, time to find a girlfriend, if you are getting bored of masturbating it's a sure sign you are doing far too much!... (read in full...)
She won't have me back and she doesn't want time apart either, so what am I supposed to do?
Q. My gf split with me 4 months ago because she said we don't talk to each other. But we never really stopped seeing each other. We still have nights out together, she stays at my house, we still have sex. Yet when I ask her to be my girlfriend again ...
A. 6 March 2009: Kick her out, change the locks and your phone number, this girl has bunny boiler written all over her! If she wants to see you and have sex with you it's on your terms now.
No relationship no contact, STOP being weak and move on!... (read in full...)
Co-workers are chit-chatting near my desk, it's driving me crazy!
Q. I work in a a government office and have a problem with co-workers standing near my cubical and talking to each other for hours on end. My supervisor has a problem with needing to be liked so she directly says nothing to address the problem. These ...
A. 6 March 2009: Tell them firmly, to go and chat somewhere else! I often find being blunt and direct to my subordinates, peers and superiors has the desired effect.
And hopefully they will complain to your spineless boss, who will then have to find a backbone... (read in full...)
Guys seem to hate me, please advise.
Q. i have big problem every single guy i liked has hated me for one reason or another.guys just don,t like me.i find hard to get on with guys.i can be hard on guys but i don,t mean to be.but guy are rotten to me telling me i am not good enough for them ...
A. 6 March 2009: Wow! Although you have written a lot here you've not really told us much, for us to work on. Have you spoken to your female friends about this, do you have any male friends, and I mean just mates, not someone you fancy? Talk to your mates try and ... (read in full...)
My fiancee's mum shamelessly flirts with me! What do I do?
Q. Hi people. I have a bit of a problem and was wondering if anyone could give me any advice on how to approach the situation. You see, the thing is that my fiancee's Mum shamelessly flirts with me. When my fiancee is around she doesn't do it so ...
A. 6 March 2009: you've had some good advise here just don't do this: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-caught-my-mum-and-my-boyfriend-having.html... (read in full...)
How do I keep both women in my life?
Q. I've been in a committed relationship for the past 6+ years with my girlfriend, "Rachel". I love her with all of my heart and I had planned on proposing but something recently has caused me not to. One of my close friends, "Tammy", and I h...
A. 6 March 2009: Ok, that sounds more mature, in honesty you need to tell Tammy that although she's great looking and you get on with her, Rachel is the girl for you. Tell her you would like to remain friends but the pictures and flirty messages have to stop.
... (read in full...)
Is this sex or not?
Q. ther is a story im really ntrested in finding out. My boyfriend of 6years who of recent i have sared my first kiss claims he had half-sex. He said he only inserted his penis halfway into his ex girlfriend, which was his first and only sexual ...
A. 6 March 2009: It's SEX!... (read in full...)
Who do I choose: the man who couldn't commit or my friend who comes home from jail soon?
Q. I was seeing someone for about 10 months that i really felt like he could be the one and was scared to tell him i loved him because he didnt consider me his girlfriend and i was being faithful to him tho. That was my fuss between us why couldnt he ...
A. 6 March 2009: Neither find some one new and nice!... (read in full...)
How do I keep both women in my life?
Q. I've been in a committed relationship for the past 6+ years with my girlfriend, "Rachel". I love her with all of my heart and I had planned on proposing but something recently has caused me not to. One of my close friends, "Tammy", and I h...
A. 6 March 2009: STOP being a selfish IDIOT, get over your self and make a grown up choice, we are not here to help people like you hurt two girls! You obviously have no respect for women and certainly don't know what love is!... (read in full...)
Clubs are such a nightmare! Where else can I meet women?
Q. Hi, I'm in my first year at university, and since I started in September I haven't had a lot of luck with the ladies. To be specific, I dated a girl on my course for three months before we ended on mutual terms. Apart from that, no joy. Part of the ...
A. 6 March 2009: University societies there is something for everyone and plenty of ladies to find there! Speak to your local NUS and they'll be keen to help you out.... (read in full...)
Help, I might be pregnant!
Q. Ok so ive had sex about 4 times three with condom 1 without. I know it was wrong not to use one but we did anyways im not going to explain why i didnt use one. :What is the chances of me getting pregnant if I didnt go off but he did... :We dont ...
A. 6 March 2009: See a doctor now, he can test you and give you all your options!
Also don't have sex again until you really understand how everything works!... (read in full...)
I think I'm ready, but how can I make sure that I will not regret it?
Q. I was completely ready for sex just a little while ago. My boyfriend of 6 months is 17. I'm turning 15, but I was completely ready to have sex with him a little while ago. We had a good talk and decided it was time, I love him, but I feel like ...
A. 6 March 2009: As everyone has said, if you are asking this question STILL after all our good advise! You will regret it! and looking older means nothing except for the fact you are what's commonly known as jail bait! ... (read in full...)
Is there something else that might fit the description I've given of these bumps?
Q. Ok I posted yesterday about weird bumps on my vaginal lips. The headline was "pimples on my "lips"! There's a few of them, maybe 4 or 5 and a couple are bigger than the others, but none of them are huge. They are not on the outside of the vaginal ...
A. 6 March 2009: Yeah it doesn't sound like an STI, I know it's common for guys to have papules on their scrotum and your description sounds similar.
I would still advise a check up, but it certainly doesn't sound dodgy.
I wouldn't avoid sex but make sure yo... (read in full...)
My friend told me his girlfriend has awsome control "down there". Has anyone else encountered this with a woman?
Q. I have a friend that has told me that his gf has some awesome... how do I say It (control down there). I have never encountered a woman that can do the things he has said she can and was wondering can any woman do that? I have a woman that ...
A. 5 March 2009: It's very possible!... (read in full...)
How effective are condoms? I don't want to get pregnant
Q. Hey people. Me an my boyfriend are about to have sex an he is goin to use a condom. but i'm so afraid i'm goin to get pregnant. A lot of my friends are saying i won't. But i don't know. I really want to do this. I'm not gettin birth control but how ...
A. 5 March 2009: Condoms used properly are 95% protective against pregnancy and stop all STIs. Condoms used with Hormone based birth control will give you 99.9% protection.
If it is his first time too, can I suggest that you both practice putting condoms on, beca... (read in full...)
Boyfriend? OR FWB guy?
Q. I can't choose between my boyfriend, who loves me a lot and a friend who wants to be sex buddies. I love my friend more than I do my boyfriend. What should I do?...
A. 5 March 2009: If you love your friend you should split up with your boyfriend, but this guy only wants you for sex!
Therefore when you get all clingy and "I love you" on him, he'll find a new FWB. FWB only works if you are Friends (NO LOVE or COMMITME... (read in full...)
Does wearing specs mean I'm a geek?
Q. Whats your view as society on people who wear spectacles.? Recently i moved in to a new college and i am taking science and math classes. people call me a geek. Should i stop wearing them???...
A. 5 March 2009: They may call you a geek because you are clever and studying science but to hell with them, it's good to be clever and geeky is in this year.
There is nothing wrong with glasses, I think my wife looks gorgeous in hers as it frames her eyes. Th... (read in full...)
He says I need to be more open when I want sex
Q. Is it okay to let my boyfriend know how I'm feeling? He says I have to be more open with him and tell him when I want sex. He tells me all the time. Do guys like that? Makes you feel wanted.. ummm a turn on? I don't know..maybe send him a naugh...
A. 5 March 2009: Yes, tell him how you feel and what you want. A naughty text message while he's at work will really get him thinking about you, and wanting you when he gets home.
Men are rubbish at mind reading you have to be really clear with us, otherwis... (read in full...)
What does a woman smell like?
Q. i don't want to sound like a jerk or anything, but does a woman's vagina have a bad smell. what does a woman's vagina smell like? The reason i am asking because i don't want to get that far with a woman on pleasing her down there and then find out ...
A. 5 March 2009: All vaginas smell/taste different some people like it others don't. Durex do a good range in flavoured and scented lube, if you don't like the smell you could always use some of that.
... (read in full...)
My best friend gets jealous when I'm with my b/f as she's used to having all my attention, what do I tell her?
Q. I Have The Best Boyfriend In The World, But When Im With Him My Best Friend Gets Really Jelous, I Dont Leave Her Out At All, Its Just Shes Used To All The Attention I Used To Give Her, She Has To Understand How Do I Tell Her? ...
A. 5 March 2009: Tell her using CAPITOLS at the beginning of every word, Because It Makes Your Post So Much Easier To Read! Sorry I found that very distracting.
But seriously. Three's a crowd, you need to spend time with her, alone or she needs to find a guy. Doe... (read in full...)
I discovered my b/f cheated and has had a child, how can I be sure he doesn't see his child?
Q. me and my boyfriend have two children together and going back last year i found out he has another child in between the age gap of my children he says he wants nothing to do with the other child. i found out he was seeing the child behind my back, ...
A. 5 March 2009: I'm sure he has every right to see his child! Yes what he did was wrong but at the end of the day there is a CHILD involved! And as a mother you should know how important it is that he has contact with this child.... (read in full...)
My crush in love with my best friend?
Q. I have a major problem. I am have a huge crush on this guy 'mark'. He's sooo nice, caring, and sweet. He's come up talking to me a few times, given me a few hugs, and i've caught him gazing at me quite alot so i really thought he liked me. I even ...
A. 5 March 2009: Tell your friend how you feel, if she's not interested in him, I'm sure she'd cut the flirting back for you. But if he fancies her, there is not much you can do about it, you could just ask him out and see what happens.... (read in full...)
My breasts itch around the nipple, should I worry?
Q. im 18 and have small breasts. my problem is they itch around the nipple is this some disease or let alone cancer?...
A. 5 March 2009: See a doctor! There is no way we can tell you on-line.... (read in full...)
Can a man tell if a woman has orgasmed?
Q. I'm not talking about the physical stuff that women do when they orgasm (like shaking, moaning, etc.); more like the internal. If they're having intercourse, can a man tell that a woman has orgasmed by the change in her vagina (it contracts)?...
A. 5 March 2009: I can now with my wife, but everyone is different.... (read in full...)
A question strictly for the men aunts!!!
Q. Okay guys, would you want a straight girl that would have sex with you or a bi girl that would let you have sex with her and her girlfriend?...
A. 5 March 2009: I'd have a threesome for fun but would not have a relationship afterwards!
I'd happily have a relationship with a bi girl, but we would have to be exclusive, no other boys or girls!
But more importantly you are 13-15 and shouldn't be wor... (read in full...)
He wants me to smoke weed with him before we have sex... what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend wants to have sex with me but he also wants me to smoke WEED with him before we do it so I can get high. I don't know if I should because I'm worried that if he gets high he'll forget to put a condom on and I might get pregnent. What ...
A. 5 March 2009: If your not comfortable then don't do it! ... (read in full...)
Is it cheating if I want to experiment sexually with a woman?
Q. Is it cheating if I want to experiment sexually with a woman? My boyfriend said it's cheating even if it's just for experimentation. I on the other hand have no problem with him experimenting with a man if he so chooses. What do you think? ...
A. 5 March 2009: If he says it's cheating then that's what it is!... (read in full...)
I lied and now I'm in trouble
Q. Okay, big problem; I have a BAD habit of lying a lot. Usually they're just little white lies and it's not that big of a deal. I just did something really stupid. So me and my friend are getting teased by this guy who we both can't stand, and he's ...
A. 5 March 2009: Oops! Best own up and stop lying!... (read in full...)
Spermicide harmful to baby?
Q. My bf and I have been having sex and only using spermicide(the foam). I found out today I'm 2 months pregnant and I was wondering if the spermicide we've been using could have caused harm to the baby? ...
A. 5 March 2009: I'm sure it will be fine, it didn't stop the sperm so I'm pretty sure it won't stop the baby.
But check with your doctor... (read in full...)
2 months pregnant but look like 5 months! Will this change his feelings?
Q. I have had two other kids and now my new love and I are having a third baby and our* first. I have always been very small and went back to the same but this time I am like two months pregnant and look nearly five. I haven't gained much weight but my ...
A. 5 March 2009: It could be twins also you could have a frontal placenta, which can make you appear much bigger than usual!
Go get checked out.... (read in full...)
How do guys stay so skinny?
Q. Obviously I know everyone is different but the majority of men are so skinny. I exercise a lot and watch what I eat but I cant seem to lose weight and so many of my guy friends eat absolute crap and never exercise and they are sticks! Its just not ...
A. 5 March 2009: Wait till you see them when they hit 25! Guys have a very good metabolism because at your age they are developing lots of muscle mass which burns lots of calories.
Once we hit our mid 20s we have to work very hard to stay in shape especial... (read in full...)
I think I'm ready, but how can I make sure that I will not regret it?
Q. I was completely ready for sex just a little while ago. My boyfriend of 6 months is 17. I'm turning 15, but I was completely ready to have sex with him a little while ago. We had a good talk and decided it was time, I love him, but I feel like ...
A. 5 March 2009: I hate to say it, but anyone having sex at 14-15 regrets it in the long run, I know you love your boyfriend now and that everything is la la la! But seriously what about when you are 19-20 and have moved on from him, what will other boyfriends think ... (read in full...)
I think my girlfriend's 19 year old sister is getting in over her head
Q. So me and my girlfriend have a great relationship and have been together for awhile and are even considering marriage but are waiting till we are more financially secure. This is regarding her sister and some of the foolish decisions she makes. ...
A. 4 March 2009: This sounds very dodgy!
Convince your girlfriend to go along and you should tag along too, I mean if he loves her sister, and is planning to move in together, then getting to know the family is expected!
Then at least you have met him and if o... (read in full...)
Is it really true that all good things come to those who wait?
Q. So I been dating a guy for 4 months. We're not technically a couple, but he's the only guy I'm seeing and want to be with. I maybe see him one time a week or so, I've never been to his house, but I talk to him many times a day. At first, I thought ...
A. 4 March 2009: It's up to you, if you wait he really could be the one, or you could be impatient and jump into bed with the next guy that catches your eye.
Personally I'd wait if I liked him.... (read in full...)
Very few opportunities to have sex, and she usually doesn't take advantage of them!
Q. So heres the stuation. Both my girlfriend and I live at home with our parents so we don't get to have sex often. Its not a big deal to me, but I do have a problem with when we have the chance we don't take advantage of it. Not because of me, but ...
A. 4 March 2009: Maybe you are not that big, but you just don't turn her on enough. Do you even bother with foreplay?
I think you need to loose the Ego, and start making it about her and her enjoyment, if you just want to get your rocks off have a wank!
If you ... (read in full...)
We keep getting interupted before sex...karma? A sign not to have sex?
Q. This has to do with my boyfriend and myself. We are in love. We often make out. When we are both into it we try to advance toward sex. Every time we try to move on to sex we seem to be interrupted. Last time I was starting to remove my boyfriend’s ...
A. 4 March 2009: Get a hotel room and make it special!... (read in full...)
4 month relationship has caused pregnancy..I don't know how to tell him!
Q. I've been seeing a guy for 4 months. We both have gone through terrible relationships and we have so many things in common. He's an awesome guy and there's no doubt about that. We've been having sex, however, he uses the withdrawal method but it ...
A. 4 March 2009: If you don't use condoms there is a highly likely chance you will fall pregnant, any bloke who doesn't use PROPER protection should know he risks getting his partner pregnant!
So just go a head and tell him, it was going to happen anyway. ... (read in full...)
What's this lump on my face and how to get rid of it fast?
Q. hi all, This is kind of embarrassing but bear with me. I have this kind of spot that keeps appearing beside my nose. It's rather large and easily visible. Sometimes when I squeeze it, it goes like a normal spot would but other times it doesn't...
A. 4 March 2009: See a Doctor, it does sound like a boil, which is easily treated, but without seeing it and prodding it a bit there is no way to tell for sure.
Please don't use panoxyl(I don't like contradicting other posters normally) as that is a very potent a... (read in full...)
I'm worried he might be a paedo!
Q. Help. I'm 15, and recently been talking to this guy. He's really sweet, but he's 20. I'm worried he might be a peado, but he has already said he does not want to see me until I'm 16, and he'll wait to be with me until I'm ready. He explained h...
A. 4 March 2009: Just be careful, he may be genuine, but still if he's 20, I'm sure he'll be after different things than you are.... (read in full...)
How can I let her know that I would like to see her naked? How can I warm her up to the idea?
Q. My girlfriend and I started off just as friends. Now we are boyfriend and girlfriend. We kiss sometimes. We are entering our teen age years. We are learning about human sexuality. It seems important to us and our relationship. I think an important ...
A. 4 March 2009: You are entering your teen years!? You do not see her naked and you certainly do not consider sex yet!
I think you need to talk to your Dad about where do babies come from before even thinking about having sex!
... (read in full...)
What happens if you have the cervical cancer jab and you have already had sex?
Q. What happens if you have the cervical cancer jab and you have already had sex? I am not asking because I am in the situation, I am just wondering because people have said lots about them....
A. 4 March 2009: Are you talking about the HPV vaccine? This prevents the human papilloma virus which is the causative organism of genital worts, which in turn can cause cervical cancer, there is no vaccine that guarantees to protect from all strains of cervical ... (read in full...)
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