After 20 years, I am tired and leaning towards just getting the hell out of this relationship! Need advice badly!
Q. Hello People! I am having a small dilemma that I cannot talk to friends or family about due to the nature of this situation...so I am relying on unbiased strangers opinions. Here we go... I have been with my significant other for 20 years. ...
A. 22 February 2012: Soooo.... go on and start a new life. What more do you need to hear??????
Good luck....... (read in full...)
My husband is taking strange vacations. Why is he acting the way he is?
Q. hello am married for going for 19 years he is working in australia for going 6 years i feel he dry to me any more i mean he does'nt talk to me, and he take vacation in the philippines some picture he bring is this picture hes girl?an why he has ...
A. 21 February 2012: He's in Australia for six years??? Where are YOU????
Everything I see, in your submittal, points to him abandoning you......... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has suddenly gone crazy over my male friend being at the party with me and now he is ignoring me! What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 2 and half years. And I love him more than words can say. He has the potential to be an amazing partner, friend, lover, etc. But, he has put me through a lot in a short amount of time. Everything from ...
A. 20 February 2012: You call it "crazy"... I call it "childish"....
Tell Mr Wonderful that you aren't prepared to continue dating a 5 year old..... and dump him and look for someone who is mentally and emotionally closer to your age...
Good luck...... (read in full...)
After being raped, are women ever able to enjoy sex?
Q. Nearly three years ago I was raped, so I have never had sex other than that one time. I have started a relationship with someone and I like him and he respects me, but I don't want to have sex. Do other women actually want sex after rape or do ...
A. 20 February 2012: Rape is a horrible crime.... and I so wish that the courts would let the victims castrate the perpretators with a dull, rusty butter knife!!! I hope that you can pick yourself up from this terrible experience and go on to a more placid (and, ... (read in full...)
What is the opinion on a 40 year old man who has never been married or engaged?
Q. I have a question for the ladies.. what do you think of 40 year old men who have never lived with a woman, been engaged, married, etc. would you question if they are boyfriend or better yet.... husband material? This conversation came up at work ...
A. 20 February 2012: Make no mistake about it.... this man has a problem!!!!!... (read in full...)
Husband are I are moving back to his hometown where he has alot of ex girlfriends!
Q. My husband and I are in a situation where we need to move closer to his work. Unfortunately, that move will take us to the small town he grew up in. That town has LOTS of his ex girlfriends in it. (He was quite the cassanova) I am upset about this ...
A. 20 February 2012: You can choose to let it chew you up.... OR, you can go "adult" and assume that - now that you and he are grown up and married - that it makes no difference where you live....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I like him but I'm wondering if he's gay?
Q. Hi, I really need some advice, I've met a really lovely guy who is in tbe military. But I'm concerned he might be gay. He can be camp at times, loves cleaning and ironing it took 7 dates for him to kiss me which I instigated and also said his ma...
A. 20 February 2012: Here's a revolutionary suggestion: Ask him!!!!
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Why am I still sleeping with this married woman despite knowing that out "relationship" is headed nowhere?
Q. I can't believe that it is still going on after four years! I posted a question regarding this affair a while back when I thought this whole ordeal was finally coming to an end, but it isn't. We stared flirting, going to lunch. etc., back in th...
A. 19 February 2012: We (men) sleep with (read: "we copulate with...") married women (and lots of others, too) because intersourse makes our "Mr Happy" feel so good. That, Sir, is the short (and - ironically - complete) answer to your query.... Good luck....... (read in full...)
Boyfriend unexpectedly broke up with me because "relationship ran its course"
Q. My exboyfriend (25 years old) of 2 years unexpectedly broke up with me (23 years old) recently over the phone and I am completely devastated. I met him when I moved across the country 2 years ago for graduate school and things were great. I wa...
A. 19 February 2012: The key phrase in your submittal is this one: "...he felt our relationship had ran its course and that he wanted to be single."
That is guy-talk for: I liked the sex that we shared... but now, I'm not up for doing what I need to do to continue... (read in full...)
He won't emotionally divorce his ex-wife...
Q. I've searched for answers to my question and haven't really found it so here it is... I've been dating someone for 2 years, we were both ending marriages and in a way, left for eachother...BAD I KNOW BUT we didn't meet each other then leave, w...
A. 19 February 2012: I believe you are deceiving yourself in such a manner that will result in some real heartbreak for you, in the future... Good luck........ (read in full...)
Can I send a message to the wife of the man my sister is cheating with to tell her of the affair?
Q. My sister has a affair with a married man, it was a lovely affair, and they had slept together one night, from that day he is not talking with my sister and she suffers lot from that. Because he had told my sister what he did for my sister is not ...
A. 19 February 2012: I believe that what is "going on" between this man and your sister IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.... and - except for your compunction to butt in where you are not welcome - there's no reason why you should be doing ANYTHING..... Don't be a jerk... let... (read in full...)
I can't date her because of our religions...so what should I do?
Q. I've gotten to know this girl around 8 months ago. We're both 16, in the same school, same classes, everything. Ive gotten to know her so well, and I spend every waking minute thinking about her. I really think I love her, but see the problem is ...
A. 18 February 2012: Yes.... It was the religious leaders who kept telling us that the Earth is flat... and that the Earth is the center of the Universe.... I spend a lot of time listening to the sagacity of the religious leaders that I know.... ... (read in full...)
Losing your first love or soulmate? Advice needed!
Q. Hey guys! I am 22 and have just lost my first love, someone I thought was soulmate. I always mingled with girls but only settled for this one because I thought she was special. Can anyone help? Long story short, I broke up with ny ex 2 months ago....
A. 17 February 2012: Many of us lose our first love... or that "soulmate" who we just KNOW we were destined to spend our life with....
The lion's share of us get over it and go on with our lives.... A FEW spend days, months, years.... even the rest of their life... ... (read in full...)
I don't know if I should be in a relationship with him, or just be his friend?
Q. I'm feeling anxious over a new relationship. I even feel like crying. I'm seeing a man who is 21 years older than me. Obviously, he has much more of a past than i have. He was married for three years when he was in his twenties, and has a son who is ...
A. 17 February 2012: Guys who are 21 years older than a young, naive girl who gets their attention are much like the fox who is hired to guard the hen house....
YOU are setting yourself up for a world-class disappointment when this "gentleman" tips his hand and reve... (read in full...)
My fiancé's ex wife still has some kind of power over him, she pisses me off with her ways and I hate the way she takes advantage of him
Q. I´m engaged to the most wonderful man in the world. We have known each other for alomost 12 years, been best friends and have been together for 8 months. They were married for 19 years with no kids. They aren't divorced yet but seperated. Divorce ...
A. 17 February 2012: This "wonderful man" sounds like a child who simply lets his ex- have total control over his life.
Face it, if they are separated and on their way to financial ruin and divorce, then he doesn't have to have any contact with her.... that's why we h... (read in full...)
Should husband and I share money with my family or keep it for our soon to be baby?
Q. Dear cupid Alot of people say pregancy confuses the mind and makes women think irrationally i like to think that in this particullary situation i'm not thinking irrationally nor am i being selfish . but i'd rather hear it from other peoples ...
A. 16 February 2012: Within your submittal I found this phrase: "....selfish i know but..."
THAT, Dear Girl is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!!! WHY would you (and your man) consider it selfish for YOURSELVES to enjoy the success of your (his?) labor??????
Remove that p... (read in full...)
Where can I meet people my own age to date?
Q. Hi there, just a quick question, when people say to meet new friends they should take up new hobbies i was just wondering where these things take place, i started college and met some wonderful friends but was hoping to find people worth dating, ...
A. 16 February 2012: I'll guess that you wouldn't have to look very hard to find no less than two dozen social groups on campus... Take a look in the school newspaper....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Bf does not pay attention to my breasts...but he does look at those of other women!
Q. I have a wonderful boyfriend (we have been together for almost a year now.) Our sex life is pretty great except for one thing... I get upset because he doesn't take my top off during sex and doesn't pay attention to my boobs. I admit that i am ...
A. 16 February 2012: I'm guessing that this guy is about 12 or 13 years old... since the behaviour you've described is typical of that age.....
That said, are you aware that your having sex with a 12-year-old constitutes rape?????
Ooooops.... you say that he's ol... (read in full...)
Please tell me this is fixable!
Q. good day, i am seeking advice and possibly comfort that there is a solution to this. I can`t move on, and i dont think i want to move on after the break up. I want to get her back! its been 4 or 5 days since she broke it off with me. i know every...
A. 16 February 2012: When the two of you get done with your games... which "sound" more like the games that pre-teens play..... perhaps you and she will finally figure out that the break is going to stick, and you (both) will get on with your lives....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Please help me become like a normal boy!
Q. I am 20year old boy,but i very much worrying for my habit,becoz i think ,i turned into gay feeling.,i nevr want this type of gay feeling,i get erect and attract when i see a cute guy,but i also interested in women also,i also excited ,when i see ...
A. 16 February 2012: If your genetic makeup is such that you are bi-sexual (which would match the description you've given of yourself).... then that's who/what you are.... and you can spend the rest of your life agonizing over it.... OR, you can accept yourself for ... (read in full...)
Why are you on DearCupid?
Q. Someone asked me via PM "well you are here to help people" And someone else and I got to talking in message about that and I wonder... WHY do YOU post to DC? Are you here to help yourself? (or did you come to help yourself and stayed to help...
A. 16 February 2012: I'm on Dear Cupid because SOMEBODY has to talk some sense in to these peoples' heads!!!!!!... (read in full...)
Why can't a married woman be a good friend to an ex-lover?
Q. we are coworker and she is married, i love her truely from the heart still i think about her 24hrs may be she will talk to my like a close good friend (not expected kisses etc) but close friendship as she earlier have with me . sometimes i think ...
A. 16 February 2012: SHE's paying attention to her marriage... and that is correct.....
YOU are spending 'way too much time and mental energy thinking about her.... and that is not a good idea... Focus your energy and attentions elsewhere.... In time, you will fin... (read in full...)
Why is it that men stare at me all the time but almost never smile or speak?
Q. How am I to understand how a man feels when he looks at you if he won't even give you a little smile? Yesterday I was grocery shopping and passed a really good looking man in my aisle. When I saw him, he was already looking at me. He was alone. W...
A. 16 February 2012: HA and SVC: My favorite line is: "You look familiar. Didn't we go to different schools together?"
Works every time....... (read in full...)
His texting to me is unpredictable. If he texts me again shall I just ignore him?
Q. I have been texting a guy for several months now. We have met 3 times. Anyway his texts are not consistent. He will text me every few weeks and will only ask to meet when he is out drinking. I text him back the other day, got one text back to which...
A. 16 February 2012: Do you need any more proof that this guy is one of those "Liquor Letharios" who only contacts you when he's experiencing the fortitude of alcohol????
Good luck with your NEXT boyfriend...... (read in full...)
How can I identify and where can I meet women who will not cheat on me?
Q. I am 23 and I have only had one girl friend who broke my heart, the reason why I dont date a lot is mainly because of that and I am slighty shy around the oppsite sex. Anyways here is my Question where can I meet women who will not cheat on me?...
A. 16 February 2012: I suggest that you avoid cheatin' women by having any prospective date take a test, when you meet them.... This will be a written test, which they answer with a pencil (YOU provide both the test paper and the pencil!)...
The test will have jus... (read in full...)
After having my sexual fantasy fulfilled, my desire for sex has burnt out!
Q. Recently one of my sexual fantasies of several years became a reality which I suppose is a good thing, however since then my sex drive has been almost zero which is really uncommon for me. I'm writing here because I'm really puzzled by it. ...
A. 16 February 2012: Sometimes, experiencing a fantasy - sexual or otherwise - results in a let-down ..... sort of like you breath a sigh of relief and say (silently) "There, now that's over."
It's much easier to imagine this if that relief comes, say, from a tense ex... (read in full...)
Why is it that men stare at me all the time but almost never smile or speak?
Q. How am I to understand how a man feels when he looks at you if he won't even give you a little smile? Yesterday I was grocery shopping and passed a really good looking man in my aisle. When I saw him, he was already looking at me. He was alone. W...
A. 16 February 2012: Perhaps it would have helped if, when the two of you smiled/acknowledged one-another, YOU had opened your mouth and said, "Hi". THAT would have been the ice-breaker that invited HIM to either say, "Hi".... or, he would have NOT reacted to your ... (read in full...)
Painful doggy style...any advice to make it better?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together around 3 months. He's been wanting to do doggy style for a while, but when we tried it was extremely painful and tugged on the bit of skin between my vagina and anus. Furthermore, my vagina seems to get ver...
A. 16 February 2012: Best advice = Don't bother trying it again.....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't try in the relationship yet he wants me to move in, should I?
Q. I need an outside opinion badly cause this issue is never going to get resolved! I've been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years and the last 7 months have been downhill. I found sexual emails (to another man) which he dismisses, he's lied to me about...
A. 15 February 2012: I vote that you take his ultimatum seriously... and move out!!!! That immature and controlling idjit isn't worth it!!!!
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Our sex life isn't working out very equitably
Q. I know I'm a dick for getting frustrated about this and I know that it's my fault, but I don't know what to do. I consider myself pretty good when it comes to sex. I've only had sex with my girlfriend, but I'm usually able to make her cum lik...
A. 15 February 2012: I suggest that the two of you discontinue "having sex"... and learn how to make love.....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Is he not as attracted to me anymore?
Q. Hello everyone, I'm worried about my bf not being sexually interested in me. We have been together for about a year and a half, and we live together. We used to have sex a lot and it was wonderful, we were both each other's firsts. Of course i...
A. 15 February 2012: at 18-21 (your ages.... ) having sexual difficulties is NOT something that you want to give little concern.... because,.... statistically, the two of you are likely to be around another 60 years or more..... and if you (two) DON'T find your sexual ... (read in full...)
Do his flowers mean he's serious about me?
Q. I just started dating a guy and received flowers for valentines day. Does this mean he's serious?...
A. 15 February 2012: It "means" that he knows what it takes to get you in to bed!!!!......
Good luck...
P.S. I used that "flower" trick yesterday, too... AND IT WORKED!!!!!!... (read in full...)
Does meeting his mom and sister mean he wants to be more than friends?
Q. Hi everyone: Hope you guys can give me your opinion. I have been good friends with this guy for awhile. Last week his mother and sister showed up at an event where I was with him. It was unexpected on my part but he knew they were coming. Do you t...
A. 15 February 2012: IF'n he had introduced you by saying "Hi, Mom and Sis.... meet your future daughter- and sister-in-law"..... THEN I would have given the encounter as much credence as you have...
I'm a little surprised that he hadn't said to you, "You know, my... (read in full...)
Is this relationship worth it? There are alot of problems going on
Q. My relationship with my girlfriend so far was a mess. I have known her for just short of 5 years, but we have started going out only a year ago. I am 21, and she is slightly older. We have both been in rather long, serious relationships before. We ...
A. 15 February 2012: After the third paragraph I realized that you and this girl have not much in-common.... and so your desire to make a "relationship" with her is doomed.... Soooo, why not cut things off now, and spare yourself the heartbreak of trying to make this ... (read in full...)
Why could my husband last longer sexually with other women?
Q. My husband and I were married for over 11years went through a divorce and have been remarried for about 7 months now. During sex together he only last a few min and it has always been this away, never bothered me cause he pleases me with foreplay as ...
A. 14 February 2012: FORGET about any and all sexual activities that may have taken place whilest the two of you were apart.....
... AND focus on the great intimacy that the two of you are sharing now.
WHAT GOOD CAN COME of comparing ANYTHING that you and he are d... (read in full...)
Risk it all and ask him out?
Q. Hello Cupids EVery day for the last 5 months, I have wanted to tell my best friend of 4 years that I like him more than an friend. However, he is so shy when it comes to dating and love. I have felt strongly towards him for a while, but I don’t kn...
A. 14 February 2012: I have two suggestions:
1. Make sure that your trusted friends know about your interest in this guy..... and that you'd like for him to learn of your interest..... THAT me be an avenue which gets the message to him.....
2. Make sure that y... (read in full...)
Why doesn't anyone ever like me?
Q. Okay so valentines this year has me thinking. I never had a boyfriend ever. The guys I always like never like me they always see me as their bestfriend. I am a smart girl, I'm chubby but I look good, I sing,have a nice personality,nice style I'm ...
A. 14 February 2012: You "sound" like a delightful young woman, from your description of yourself.... Now....
BE PATIENT!!!!.... we (young) guys take an excrutiatingly loooooooonnnnnng time to grow up and look beyond the obvious (appearances) to learn about great gi... (read in full...)
Love him or leave him? Or would FWB work?
Q. What should I do about my new lover? I met him at Christmas time through my sisters boyfriend and although I wasn't sure at first, we ended up being lovers. As he lives in my home town (he has a four year old son who he sees as much as possible...
A. 14 February 2012: Remember: women offer sex in hopes it will develop in to a relationship; men will fake a relationship if that's what's necessary to keep getting sex....
"FWB" is largely a benefit to a guy, and a nightmare to a woman.... SHE is likely to want a R... (read in full...)
He said me breaking up with him was the best Valentines gift ever! I know he doesn't want me, but I still feel like I made a mistake by breaking up with him....
Q. Dear cupid i am in love with a guy for 2 years. He knows that and we are in fwb. He is not seeing anyone and im not either. But he never introduced me as his gf. I am his friend, thats all he wanted from me, but i want more. I told him today i...
A. 14 February 2012: Breaking up with him was also the best Velentine's Day present FOR YOU!!!!!
See, in FWB, it's common that - over time - one of those "friends" wants more than a "FWB"... and wants a REAL "relationship." In your case, it was you. Your "friend"... (read in full...)
Guys if you found out your girl was an older virgin would it be a deal-breaker?
Q. Guys, if you found out that the girl you liked was still a virgin would this make you more interested in her, or would it be a deal breaker? If she's an older virgin at that....
A. 13 February 2012: DEAL BREAKER????? Heck, no... it would give me all the more incentive to be her first "conquest"... ... (read in full...)
He won't show me any affection but always wants sex!
Q. Hi everyone- Me and my boyfriend of four years on and off are back on I guess. Here's the problem he doesn't want to hold hands or kiss me in public or infront of his friends just bc its " akword" to him. He shows me no affection at all unless w...
A. 12 February 2012: "Sounds" to me like your guy is like ANY "typical" guy... that is.... ANY "TYPICAL" 8-YEAR-OLD!!!! ....who has just figured out that he has a pe*is, and is trying to figure out what to do with it!!!!!
You "domt want to loose him or start over wit... (read in full...)
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