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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Boyfriend has become lazy and unappreciative.
Q. Okay, my boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years. For the longest time, up until several months ago he was very much "into" me, and I mean by giving me a ton of his time/attention. He text me nonstop and was always sharing details about ...
A. 4 January 2014: I think you have to pretend you are dating him as if he's a different man who does not like texting. What he's doing now is normal compared to the average guy. He is only lazy and unappreciative compared to how he was at the beginning. You were used ... (read in full...)
I wanted to give this guy my number but didnt...then I found him online!
Q. Is it fate? I need advice on what to do next and how? Here is the story: I've been sort of seeing this guy, let call him " Jim" but nothing serious. We spent new year's eve together, and we accidentally ran into each other at a bar on new year's d...
A. 4 January 2014: I don't think it's fate. It just meant he didn't get lucky that night and is trying another venue. Jim had another girl, so it would be tacky to act territorial over there. If I were you I would just message the pirate, and say I am interested in ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has become lazy and unappreciative.
Q. Okay, my boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years. For the longest time, up until several months ago he was very much "into" me, and I mean by giving me a ton of his time/attention. He text me nonstop and was always sharing details about ...
A. 4 January 2014: For roughly three years he has been attentive so I can't go with the theory that he has won you over so stopped. I would try to find out what changed. Perhaps he's interested in someone else, or you wanted marriage and he doesn't. You had known him ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend a miser?
Q. My boyfriend met my family for the first time last week and we all went out to lunch. I was embarrassed because at the end of the meal, he didn't even offer to pick up the tab. Is that a red flag? My family did notice it and commented on it later. ...
A. 2 January 2014: Last time I pulled that cultural thing on my ex boyfriend the relationship blew up. My ex boyfriend was 13 years older than me and he felt that I should pay him respect rather than make him kow tow to my parents. When you are with a westernized ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend secretly recorded one of our arguments
Q. Dear Cupid, My (ex)boyfriend just admitted that he secretly recorded an audio file of an argument that occured three weeks ago and was resolved. Today, he was angry with me and told me that he found my reaction on that audio file unbelievably ...
A. 2 January 2014: So the reaction was that you broke up with him over this and is contemplating whether to take him back. When you said resolved I assumed it means you found out the reason he was doing this?
I don't think he did anything wrong. When people are argu... (read in full...)
What should I do when my boyfriend is depressed?
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles! I have been with a man for the past 8 months. It has been a rollercoaster wave of emotions since after the 6 month mark. His marriage has been over for the last two years and I can see that he suffers from depression and has ...
A. 2 January 2014: I don't understand why your friend was saying, that you were hurting him more. I would have done the same thing. He had been depressed before he met you. Couples fight in bad relationships. Their relationship is over and they should learn to be ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend a miser?
Q. My boyfriend met my family for the first time last week and we all went out to lunch. I was embarrassed because at the end of the meal, he didn't even offer to pick up the tab. Is that a red flag? My family did notice it and commented on it later. ...
A. 1 January 2014: I don't think this is something to postpone a marriage over but next time kindly suggest that he treats your family. He might not see it as a big deal as to who treats who.... (read in full...)
I like women but want to be married to a man. Is this normal?
Q. I love men, want to be with a man, and crush on men. I'm almost 30 and still single and haven't had a real relationship, however. I feel like something is wrong with me. I also love watching women strip on porn sites to get me off. It's easier to ...
A. 1 January 2014: Then there's no problem. I don't think you are single until 30 because you have this female fantasy going on. You just have to make sure the guy you want to marry does not dig deep in your past or resent it. Some men might secretly dislike the fact ... (read in full...)
Do women ever regret breaking the good guy's heart?
Q. Hello, why is it when men meet what it seems a nice women, they start to like they find out that their, exs treated them bad, abuse them, beat them , they say they want to be treated good, but when you do, they dump you an go back to the guy, who ...
A. 1 January 2014: Some would crawl back to you when you are useful to her again, some do feel bad but then oh well life goes on. One thing you have to understand is that just being nice is not going to land you a woman. People who think that are vulnerable to being ... (read in full...)
Why are women so judgemental about guys who want to or have experimented with other guys?
Q. Why is it seen as such a HUGE deal BY WOMEN if a guy wants to experiment with another guy? Girls can already agree that that most, if not many guys LIE and CHEAT, is it so hard to believe that they can fuse those two together and TRY, just TRY an...
A. 1 January 2014: I am not judgmental so I can't speak for all women. My ex husband had been sucked by his landlord (before we met) and I was not turned off by it. I honestly feel that the gender construct is so restrictive that it makes people sad, even for ... (read in full...)
I like women but want to be married to a man. Is this normal?
Q. I love men, want to be with a man, and crush on men. I'm almost 30 and still single and haven't had a real relationship, however. I feel like something is wrong with me. I also love watching women strip on porn sites to get me off. It's easier to ...
A. 1 January 2014: A lot of women who claim they are straight enjoys lesbian porn.
Normal is what works for you. However, a man still wants to feel lust from you. So even if marriage and kids work for you in the long term, a man is going to feel like something is miss... (read in full...)
I'm meeting my ex so she can get closure from our breakup but its making me very uncomfortable
Q. Hi, I never thought I'd resort to asking online, but I realize what I really need is an outsider's perspective on the situation. I'm bisexual, btw. Basically, this summer I started going out with a woman and although it was fun in the begin...
A. 1 January 2014: It would be a waste of money to travel to her. Don't do it. Do you think she would be there to get closure. No she would be trying hard to suck you back in. You don't have trouble expressing emotions and you are not cold. You know what I was told ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend a miser?
Q. My boyfriend met my family for the first time last week and we all went out to lunch. I was embarrassed because at the end of the meal, he didn't even offer to pick up the tab. Is that a red flag? My family did notice it and commented on it later. ...
A. 1 January 2014: I would be curious to see how he treats just you on a daily basis before judging he's a miser. If he makes good money and can afford a house and a car then I would say he's a miser. Either he is clueluess because this is the first time he had dinner ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend will not take down sports illustrated calendar that his mom bought him!
Q. This question is really weighing me down. This Christmas, my boyfriend of about a years mother bought him a sports illustrated swimsuit calendar. Now, before you roll your eyes and dub me insecure, know that my irritation and issue with this has ...
A. 31 December 2013: I think his mother brought him a calendar for his bedroom so that he can organize his daily schedule. She chose sports illustrated because a lot of young men have them and appreciate them. She did not buy it to alienate you, and did not expect your ... (read in full...)
I love him but I can't do this for much longer!
Q. I've been married to my husband for almost two years now. Our marriage started out great. We both worked, so all our time off was spent with each other. After I found out I was pregnant, I quit my job and we moved someplace more affordable. He got a ...
A. 31 December 2013: He's checking out of the relationship. He doesn't know how to break it to you, but to ignore his kid is inexcusable. Any man can make a babe but it takes a real man to be a father. He's repulsed by sex now that it's associated with responsibility ... (read in full...)
I feel so guilty about how I act, but how to communicate this to my boyfriend?
Q. I always feel like i am being used for sex. I know rationally this isn't true, but I can't help feeling that way and it ruins all of my relationships. I was in an extremely manipulative relationship from 15-20 in which I was definitely used ...
A. 31 December 2013: He maybe thinking you don't find him attractive and can't be turned on by him. You need to get this straight and he will appreciate you being open to talk about your feelings. If he can't handle your story then he's not the supportive boyfriend you ... (read in full...)
Now that she appears to have moved on I miss her in my life.
Q. Can someone help me understand this. I broke up with this girl about 7 months ago and I wont go into what happened and why I ended it. But it wasn't a nice break up, I ended it in a terrible way, unintentionally of course but as a result I was a j...
A. 31 December 2013: You want what you can't have. When she was ignoring you she still had feelings for you and she was in pain. What is there to miss about a scorned woman? Now what she is feeling is indifference. She is single and available on the market. When she ... (read in full...)
BF of 4 years. Our sex life was phenomenal. So why is he now choosing Porn over me? I need advice please
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and we have been living together for the past year and a half. Up until two months ago our sex life was phenomenal; we would have sex almost every day, and sometimes more than once. However we suddenly...
A. 31 December 2013: There is a correlation between frequent porn viewing and depression. Can you tell us what that rough patch is about? Everyone has stress in their lives so I am not sure if you can blame it on just stress. Did something happen to him or is it like a ... (read in full...)
Should I give up now or wait and hope?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm hoping someone can give me some guidance with a problem I have. I have been seeing my partner for a year now and I'd say it's a beautiful relationship. We get along fine and don't have any problems. We have little rows now and the...
A. 31 December 2013: I won't be fine with it. You were responding with a kind heart, considering that the girl needs to see her father but the trip won't benefit you in anyway. It's a long trip. Did you ask him why it couldn't be a yearly trip lasting 3 to 4 weeks? Does ... (read in full...)
His remarks made me feel uncomfortable. How do I tell him I don't want to see him again?
Q. So this is my situation. I met a guy a while ago, and I found out from a mutual friend that he is extremely into me. I was really not especially attracted to him from the beginning, but since physical attraction is not always instant, I decided ...
A. 30 December 2013: If you stop talking to him, then he would assume you are talking to another guy. That's not going to stop him from contacting you again though. It was just an empty threat. I would have just told him right there I would not be see him again. You had ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's previous lovers made her come but I can't seem to
Q. Hello Aunts! I am a 20 year old male who has been with my girlfriend for over a year now. She is the only woman I have ever been intimate with. My problem is that I cannot make her orgasm except by rubbing her clit and she is getting very...
A. 29 December 2013: It would be simple the answer is just this: you have to listen to what she wants, give her oral, lots of foreplay, and of course emotional connection. Unfortunately reality is not that simple. I think internal orgasm is what you are talking about ... (read in full...)
She already has a boyfriend and I'm the first woman she's been with. Am I making her life too complicated?
Q. I live in johannesburg now in village eastern cape visit my grandmother only my cousins knows that I am swing girls. I meet other cute aNd smart girl she's cute enough and the type of girls I likes she offer to be my friend and close friend but was ...
A. 29 December 2013: If the couple are openly swingers and they know about you then I don't see a problem. From your post it sounds like he's always away, leaving her alone. Men find it less threatening if a woman cheats with another woman than with a man. Doesn't make ... (read in full...)
Why is it more acceptable for women to use sex toys than it is for men?
Q. just a tought. why is it totally acceptable for girls the use of vibrators / stimulators and when it comes to males, the use of them makes you be seen as a perv, weirdo, looser... etc, etc... im in a ldr and we see each other every 3 months. My gf ...
A. 29 December 2013: Women have the unfair advantage that they can't orgasm vaginally easily. The toys are designed to hit the G spot and some of them also stimulate the clit simultaneously.
I am also aware of the double standard when it comes to sex. When women watc... (read in full...)
I have longterm feelings for a friend, who also used to be my teacher.
Q. Well, here it goes. It's a bit lengthy, so I apologize in advance. When I was younger I had a really hard time making friends my own age because I was so serious (maybe some would say mature). I just had to grow up quickly for personal reasons....
A. 29 December 2013: She knows you have feelings for her, and if one day you confess your feelings it won't be to get her but rather to get closure. I am for telling how you feel, just not what you want to do with her. It won't burn your life to the ground. You may be ... (read in full...)
I'm in a place where I feel I should stay single forever, is this normal?
Q. Hi this isn't a problem as such but something that is bothering me. I am currently single and have been for just over two years, iv dated quite a bit over that time, I have no problem getting a date or a man (sounds big headed I don't mean it too!) ...
A. 29 December 2013: You are certainly not alone. When you have a child you have to pay a babysitter or bother your parents when your child needs mostly you. A romantic relationship is refreshing at the start but after that it is a sacrifice to your personal time and ... (read in full...)
Is she dropping hints or am I mistaken?
Q. Im not sure if im interpreting the signs correctly. I have a female coworker who is very touchy feely with me. Im lesbian so it doesn't bother me, she however don't know my sexual orientation. Anyhow, I notice when we are around each other she make ...
A. 28 December 2013: Straight girls don't act this way. She is flirting with you but I wouldn't look at it as an invitation for sex. Sounds like she wants validation from both men and women after her hard work at the gym. When you respond positively it is a reward for ... (read in full...)
After one awful attempt at sex with my ex, how do I prepare for my current boyfriend?
Q. I recently entered a new relationship after being in a long term one for the majority of high school. I had sex once with my ex, to be blunt it was awful. I couldn't even feel him inside of me because there was so much pain. We were intimate ...
A. 28 December 2013: The first answer is always the bottom one.... (read in full...)
I feel so used. Why didn't he value me as a friend?
Q. Ok please help I was very good friends with a guy then he started confiding in me he had problems with the girl he'd been with for 5 years saying she was manipulative and made his life hard Stupidly I became close and we kissed a few times after wh...
A. 28 December 2013: They are splitting, so this is a time he feels depressed while doing his best to go through the logistics of selling the house and moving on. He would not be in the mood to keep up the friendship. I doubt he sees you as a person who's not worth his ... (read in full...)
I told him we would only kiss if we were together, then he asked me to be his girlfriend.
Q. I am 21 female and don't know if I will regret the night I had. I am a virgin that has urges for sex but learn to control myself, wel I was drinking, tired and my heart was secretly hurting and 1 of my guy friends who I havnt seen for awhile wanted ...
A. 28 December 2013: If he wants you as a girlfriend then he needs to do it the proper way, like a formal date. Asking you for private part pictures does not convince you that he wants something serious. A guy would say anything just to mean it for the moment. You need ... (read in full...)
I met a guy online and he kept on postponing because of back problems. Should I wait it out?
Q. Hi guys, I have come looking for advice, just slightly confused about a sitaution .So a while ago I decided to give online dating a go. I met this guy online. We hit it from the start.Its been five months and we speak everyday, skype text etc.....
A. 28 December 2013: You are right about meeting in person. Everything you wrote here explains why he doesn't want to meet you. His health, anxiety, his living situation and lack of experience. When you do online dating you get to screen and pick before talking but at ... (read in full...)
I'm still passionate for my wife, but she seems to have lost interest
Q. This may be an unusual request for advice. My wife and I have been together for the better part of 19 years. I am 62 she is 43. We were first married in 1995 and divorced in 2002. We were reunited in 2008 and remarried in 2010. We have both been ...
A. 28 December 2013: What changed a year and a half ago? Your relationship was good from 1995 to 2002. Then you married other people. You got back and remarried in 2010. A year later you two started having sexual problems. My two guesses are, she got obsessed thinking ... (read in full...)
How do you know he really means it when he says he loves you?
Q. How do u know wen a guy is crazy about u and really means it wen he says he loves u? This guy has always been my crush. I've known him for a very long time like 9yrs n for once,he hasnt shown me he has interest in me until last month wen he told me ...
A. 28 December 2013: You ask him how come he never asked you out until now? Continue talking and getting to know each other. You don't have to invest feelings until you think that he's the right guy for you. No one means "I love you" before dating. He said it because he ... (read in full...)
Is this a double standard? She did not like me using harsh words. So why is it OK for her to do the same?
Q. A few weeks ago me and my girlfriend were leaving a pub, and we were joking around, and then as we were talking I saw my coach there, and I accidentally let a word along the lines of go away but more harsh. It was a slip. She got really mad at m...
A. 28 December 2013: I know you didn't mean any harm, but you are probably one of those people who sound abrasive when they talk and people take it the wrong way. Why don't I refer her as abrasive? That depends on the frequency you had arguments over your word choice. ... (read in full...)
I've stopped chasing him and making myself available. Now what?
Q. I need some advice regarding my boyfriend, possibly ex. Anyway, we've been together 3 years. Up until a few months ago we'd see each other all the time but due to new work schedules we'd started seeing each other on the weekends and during the week ...
A. 28 December 2013: I would prefer he comes over, and not asking you to do the travelling. He has to want to do it at his own accord. Let's see in a month out of how many days would he plan anything with you. You would know your answer based on how sincere he is. If ... (read in full...)
Why is he keeping me in his life?
Q. Merry Xmas to you all, and thank u in advance for reading this. I don't know if my situation is rectifiable or not, so if anybody can help me sort this one I will be truly grateful and if I'm being honest kind of surprised! I know there doesn't so...
A. 27 December 2013: To expand Sageoldguy's thought, men like this keep in touch with you so they don't ever have to go through the pain of celibacy, because they know that girlfriends come and go, especially when they have hard times committing. I think he does have a ... (read in full...)
I am terminally single and want a surrogate baby!
Q. I am 30, straight male, never had a girlfriend or relationship and I have come to a point where I am thinking, I want a baby of my own. I have given up on the prospects of finding a girlfriend. Dating game has always been my weakest point. I have b...
A. 27 December 2013: Ideally you want your child to have the mother's looks and your talents, but what if he/she has your looks. Then you would have spent a lot of money bringing up a child with similar problems after they hit puberty. Even if you adopt a child, what do ... (read in full...)
Where is the passion?
Q. I appreciate any/all answers immensely because I'm feeling very lost. I have been dating a man for nearly 3 years now (I'm 22 years old) and he is a great individual..he is kind, affectionate, understanding, loving, intelligent, supportive, has a gr...
A. 27 December 2013: Your boyfriend knows that you don't find him hot but he has the desire like everyone else to feel that lustful passion. He knows that even by marrying you that fear of you fantasizing someone else would not stop. He is hanging in there because he ... (read in full...)
I cant stop thinking about my neighbour...do I have a chance with her?
Q. Ok so lately I can't stop thinking about my neighbour. Her and her fiancé have lived next door to me and my parents for 2 years and I hit it off with both of them Immediately! They were nothing like the previous neighbours who were much old...
A. 26 December 2013: It's a one sided crush. Some people are natural flirts. You didn't say she was touching you or hugging you. Even if you get a chance it would be cheating, and you wouldn't want to be with a cheater anyways. Your ideal woman is not taken. She's ... (read in full...)
Not sure if he likes me, or not, after he avoided me. Have I ruined my chances with him?
Q. I thought a shy friend of mine liked me, and i think I am starting to develop feelings for him too, but i think I ruined my chance to form a relationship with him. The only reason why i think he likes me is because of our mutual friend's teasing...
A. 26 December 2013: You think that saying "you don't know" means you ruined it? If so, he's relying too much on his friends' assistance and thought that without a resounding yes it was a gentle let down. If a guy is interested in you he has to ask you out himself. ... (read in full...)
After being so independant I now hate to be alone!
Q. So lately ive been feeling very strange. I feel like im a new person? I look at myself in the mirror and i just feel different, its hard to explain. Its not that i dont recognize myself, its that i feel different. I also have started to question ...
A. 26 December 2013: The journey to self awareness starts with learning how to put feelings into words. Many agony aunts have the ability to write so eloquently because they read a lot. When you read people's stories sometimes you relate and a bulb lights up in your ... (read in full...)
I thought I was really into this guy but now I don't know!
Q. I thought I really was into this guy and now I am confused on my feelings for him. I met someone new that I am also really starting to enjoy. I was not confused about guy 1 until guy 2 came along and now I'm confused about both! We have slept ...
A. 26 December 2013: If he is also interested in you he won't mind slowing it down. Dating doesn't always have to follow some restrictive formula. Some guys, close minded ones, would think you are playing games and tantalizing them. A guy who's interested won't think ... (read in full...)
Am I overthinking because of guilt or did he really care?
Q. I had been dating my ex-bf for 8 months before he dumped me saying "we are comfortable but it doesnt mean it's going anywhere.". when I asked him if he figured he wanna break up with me two weeks before (which is when I felt like he started becoming ...
A. 26 December 2013: I think most people think for weeks before breaking up. At 8 months though, if a man gets distant it usually means it's not going anywhere leading to a long term relationship. He can have feelings towards you but he is not doing enough, or willing ... (read in full...)
After being so independant I now hate to be alone!
Q. So lately ive been feeling very strange. I feel like im a new person? I look at myself in the mirror and i just feel different, its hard to explain. Its not that i dont recognize myself, its that i feel different. I also have started to question ...
A. 26 December 2013: Being in a love relationship changes your brain chemicals. Look up dopamine and oxytocin. These chemicals make you feel bad when you don't see your girlfriend enough. People who experience them the first time feel like they are addicted to the high ... (read in full...)
After one awful attempt at sex with my ex, how do I prepare for my current boyfriend?
Q. I recently entered a new relationship after being in a long term one for the majority of high school. I had sex once with my ex, to be blunt it was awful. I couldn't even feel him inside of me because there was so much pain. We were intimate ...
A. 26 December 2013: You know what foreplay is and you had been turned on before. Maybe the guys you had been with are well endowed. You may want to play with small dildos at first and work your way to bigger ones. I mean, you use tampons and I find them painful to use ... (read in full...)
BF of 4 years. Our sex life was phenomenal. So why is he now choosing Porn over me? I need advice please
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and we have been living together for the past year and a half. Up until two months ago our sex life was phenomenal; we would have sex almost every day, and sometimes more than once. However we suddenly...
A. 24 December 2013: He can't keep up with the pace. People are not wired to maintain the same intensity towards the same person day after day. For men it's more challenging because they depend on the ability to get an erection whereas women just need to have ... (read in full...)
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