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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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My girlfriend complains that I don't see her but I have to work!
Q. Me and my gf been going out for 2 years. We have struggled with money but now have finally found jobs. I am not happy with my job however I want to make the most of it. I work Monday to Friday 7.30-5.30 am And second job is Monday t...
A. 15 November 2014: You said babysit her, that says a lot about how you feel about her. She is acting as a 19 year old but you feel such a difference being 5 years older. She had the anticipation built up and was met with disappointment. When she was crying she was not ... (read in full...)
Did I over react? What should I have done?
Q. So i've been dating this girl for about 8 months, in a relationship for the last 4 mo. A few days ago we were hanging out at her place. She was on her laptop and checked her facebook and saw that her "friend" who was the singer in a band that she ...
A. 9 November 2014: I would think along the same lines as you. It's hard for me to understand how she can be cool with being lied to and used. Maybe she is staying friends to avoid dealing with the "used" feeling. Somehow being casual about it protected her feelings. ... (read in full...)
He accuses me, he yells and shouts and pushes me, and he leaves!
Q. I feel like I am going mad, no matter what I do I am wrong...am I wrong? I really hope you can help me as I feel I am going mad :( My husband and I have been through such a tough life together and it has certainly taken it's toll on me,...
A. 9 November 2014: You deserve a lot of sympathy here but I have to say he mistreats you because you let him. He is a user and a narcissist. He bounces from place to place like a mad man. He is miserable in a marriage because the amount of freedom he needs makes him ... (read in full...)
My ex is now saying what I wanted to hear when we were together, but I've met somone new
Q. I was with my ex for over two years. It was very unhealthy. She struggled with emotional issues, depression and anxiety. I tried everything to be her rock and stand by her side. I fought so hard just to love her and be with her. And I had never ...
A. 9 November 2014: I could only emotionally support a partner as long as he doesn't break up with me. Your ex is lonely and has no one to share her misery and all that melodrama. You should enjoy this new girlfriend and never look back. Don't even bother replying to ... (read in full...)
I lied about a past relationship and he'll end it if he finds out
Q. So.. My boyfriend and I are great together. We get along, and are very much attached. One problem.. He asked me if I've ever been intimate with a black man. I lied and said no. (we are both white). I ask him what's the difference even if I had? He ...
A. 9 November 2014: The difference is that people hear black men are more well endowed. If you've had bigger than him then he's not going to feel like the best. Maybe he saw interracial porn and felt inadequate. Or it's a racial thing like a woman degraded herself to ... (read in full...)
Wishing and waiting but he never comes home.
Q. I am going absolutely crazy. My husband and I have 2 kids (1yr old and 3yr old), They have alot of emotional issues and are really hard to keep under control so I need his help more then the average mother and woman. My husband is ALWAYS gone out ...
A. 8 November 2014: I would not be able to leave without considering the children's future. It would break my heart. I would contact CFS and see if there's a better family who could adopt them. You just realized who you married and all you are is an unpaid babysitter. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has cheated to be with me. How can I trust he is not cheating on me now or will cheat on me someday?
Q. I came out and asked my BF if I am his only girl... because of past trust issues. He cheated to be with me and we have been together for about 14 months. I have asked him this a few times before with no concrete evidence. Just fear maybe because he ...
A. 8 November 2014: I had been accused of cheating when I had no one else and I can tell you gut feeling can be wrong. This was when my boyfriend was still paranoid. Nothing I answered was good enough. I got angry, I tried to be calm and answered matter of factly. I ... (read in full...)
Could she be just too introverted to show her interest?
Q. So I've known this girl at uni for about a month now. I really quite like her, however I'm not too sure if she likes me back. Sometimes we can talk for hours without stopping, sometimes she's super quiet and doesn't seem too interested in me and ...
A. 8 November 2014: There is a difference between shy and introverted. I am not a talker and certainly can't hold a conversation for more than two hours but I like kisses on a first date. I like to move things along and I hate ambiguity. A lot of people are both ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has cheated to be with me. How can I trust he is not cheating on me now or will cheat on me someday?
Q. I came out and asked my BF if I am his only girl... because of past trust issues. He cheated to be with me and we have been together for about 14 months. I have asked him this a few times before with no concrete evidence. Just fear maybe because he ...
A. 8 November 2014: It is important that the relationship is not based on sex alone. What makes a relationship stick is that you and him form an emotional connection so that when the passion fades you have something to fall back on to support each other. Your ... (read in full...)
We were friends then dating and then he broke it off and I can't get over it
Q. I started talking to a boy 6 months ago and we became, very quickly, best friends to the extent we ate every meal together and saw each other every minute of the day before chatting through other means when not together. He confessed to me after the ...
A. 8 November 2014: If it's just six months then it won't be hard to let him go. You can foresee a pattern of an on and off thing. Later you will find that it's not better than nothing. I do see a lot of people here having similar problems where one of them wants to ... (read in full...)
Am I on the right track? How else should / could it be done?
Q. Hi Dearcupid, I came across this website when google prompted me to a question regarding the use of prostitutes. And seeing how the person who asked the question got adequate help, I too am seeking advice. I am a 19 year old, tall, athletic, ...
A. 8 November 2014: Yes, you are able to attract the right woman. You are ambitious and smart. You might think going to clubs is what everyone else is doing but no. What I am saying here is going to be biased here just for the simple fact I am woman. Women who are ... (read in full...)
Could she be just too introverted to show her interest?
Q. So I've known this girl at uni for about a month now. I really quite like her, however I'm not too sure if she likes me back. Sometimes we can talk for hours without stopping, sometimes she's super quiet and doesn't seem too interested in me and ...
A. 8 November 2014: Being introverted means that sometimes you need time to reflect and process outside senses and people's feelings. It's a good thing. If you like her you should probably date. Don't focus on times when you are silent. You did have hours of ... (read in full...)
My husband has been meeting women for sex
Q. Well I have been so upset since 2am this morning. My husbands phone rang and I checked it because he was sleeping and it was an email from a girl at a sex hookup sight. I read it and looked at the pics she sent and started crying. I'm so broken. I ...
A. 7 November 2014: Yes, you should confront him and let him know that what he's doing will eventually lead to divorce. That includes hiding his tracks and shutting down conversation. Maybe he's not understanding what your health problem is and is mourning for the loss ... (read in full...)
My husband has cancer and he's given up hope
Q. Hi, here i am again. Asking your advice. Im 43 years old. My husband is 69. We are 10 years together and 7 years marriage. I love him and yes i know he love me too. The problem is 11 months ago, we found out that he has a stomach cancer, its a big ...
A. 7 November 2014: I've never touched alcohol or cigarettes my whole life so it would be hard for me to relate to people who need them. I think people look at them as painkillers and tranquilizers when life gets too much. He's probably had cancer for many years ... (read in full...)
I gave up my unborn baby for him and he doesn't even appreciate it.
Q. Currently I've felt out of place ..before I ask I must explain my situation. I've been with my boyfriend for awhile now and we are oddly very happy.I do my best to be the best girlfriend and he makes small gesture that make me happy. We've talked ...
A. 7 November 2014: He did cry so he's not a non feeling robot. You are not crazy you just need help to regulate your emotions. You can't make him feel something he wishes to forget and move on. You want him to make you feel good but I am not sure appreciating an ... (read in full...)
Too nervous to start a conversation with my crush
Q. there's a boy I really like and I really want him to like me. hes really popular and im not. there might be a chance he likes me he sometimes looks at me and we hols eye contact for a couple of seconds but that's about it. im not very confident and ...
A. 7 November 2014: You didn't say if it is friendship you want or more. A lot of young relationships start of as trial and error. The point of interacting with the opposite sex is to gain confidence and to bridge the gap between misconceptions. It's normal to feel ... (read in full...)
I am dying for my boyfriends attention.
Q. I know this sounds self-centered, and maybe it is. But I am dying for my boyfriends attention. We do not have a bad relationship, never fight or anything. But he isn't very romantic at all.. I love to cuddle and give gifts and am very interested ...
A. 7 November 2014: Not sure if posting on facebook is his way of giving attention. If he comments on other pages but not yours, it could be because he sees himself as a dear person to you, and is above your common friends. To wish a boyfriend to be more affectionate ... (read in full...)
Sexless, affectionless, respectless marriage.
Q. I never thought I would be on one of these sites asking people's opinions on personal matters.. but here it comes guys. I have been married for 7 years now. I am 35 year and he is 47. I was married before, to a complete and utter control freak, v...
A. 7 November 2014: Before you think about the pros and cons of staying in a marriage, just know that there are a few kinds of incorrigible men. One is the narcissist, and the other one borderline. The difference is that the first one has an inflated ego and the second ... (read in full...)
Is it out of line for me to try and initiate spontaneous sex ? I keep getting rejected by my wife
Q. hey there, I have been in a relationship for seven years now and my wife continues to reject my spontaneous advances. I understand things could be approached the wrong way, but I try and be fun or cute and at times alpha to initiate somethin...
A. 5 November 2014: There is a reason why sex is reserved for the bedroom, although lights on is find for me. My boyfriend and I had tried looking for places in public. Never found one. In the summer time too many mosquitoes. It's either too hot or too cold here. In ... (read in full...)
Should I settle down or take the "you only live once" attitude?
Q. I know this will sound selfish so I'm asking if you're going to reply having a go then please don't! I'm in a 4 month long relationship with a man who is everything I could possibly want but we want different things. He is ready to get a place t...
A. 5 November 2014: I would say no because you have children and he wants a big family. You would probably be having 5 kids in the house. I won't even call that settling down. That's taking in more than you can chew.... (read in full...)
Should I give him permission to go out dancing while I go to sleep? Or will it lead him to cheat?
Q. My husband and I are on a 2 week cruise. I do not like to dance but my husband does. Every time we are on a trip, he goes to dance. Is it okay for him to go to the disco on the ship once or twice to dance? Seeing that he likes it and I do...
A. 3 November 2014: I think the purpose of the trip is to enjoy each other. As long as you can spend enough quality time together, that's what it matters. A lot of marriages are parallel marriages. It's good that you feel free to do your own thing, but what would make ... (read in full...)
I would be leaving my wife of 12 years for her, so I need to know if she wants me too
Q. First time I have done something like this online but there is no one else i can speak to about this. I am married with a child and 2 step kids, I love my wife but I don't know if I am still in love with her. I met a girl in her 20s a couple months ...
A. 3 November 2014: It's better to age gracefully than to desperately hang on to youth. When you look at your wife, at first you would feel sad that she is getting old with you, life is passing you by. Try to replace these thoughts with you are both getting wiser ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend told me details of her bad sexual experience and now I feel angry and jealous. How do I get over this?
Q. I need your realtionship advice about this I feel like I am a bad boyfriend. This might be long sorry for it Recently my girlfriend and I started to try have sex. Ofcourse it is too painful for her so wer are just trying right now. I am not rushing ...
A. 3 November 2014: It's some primal thing. Even though in real life you know you don't own her past, but one particular part of your brain gets this primal rage as if your mate gets snatched by someone else. It's an instinct to possess and to ward off other ... (read in full...)
Does she regret the break up?
Q. We were together for 7 months then broke up (about 3 weeks ago), I've gone no contact with her. Within a week after a break up she got into rebound relationship with complete opposite guy who was always been there for her.... She has just text...
A. 3 November 2014: I think she wanted closure and gain an understanding of what went wrong. She is also trying to confirm what she felt is right by getting a response from you. She probably found out from a third source that you went to a seminar that Sunday and she ... (read in full...)
How do you know if it is just for sex or is it more?
Q. Very brief, i am 24 he is 25. We have been speaking for a month. Met online, he was previously speaking to another girl when i was speaking to him off the internet but then after we met he says just me and him . We are a couple, we have spent tw...
A. 3 November 2014: He is acting as a boyfriend. In the coming months you would hear him say I love you louder. He didn't say it explicitly because it is still very early and he wants to be sure you are solid. Some people have sex before knowing for sure but there are ... (read in full...)
Does my ex miss me or is he just trying to be friends?
Q. My ex and I broke up in march. he jumped straight into a relationship with a new girl a few weeks later and not long later she moved in with him, everything happened so quickly it destroyed me as we have been through a lot in the 6 years we have ...
A. 3 November 2014: Having a new girlfriend move in with him doesn't mean it is not a rebound. My assumption is that he has a short attention span and it's hard for him to devote to a person for long. Now that he is bored with the new one he's depending on an external ... (read in full...)
My marriage is crumbling and I don't know how to fix it
Q. About six years ago, I moved 500 miles from home to be closer to family after a breakup from a really insecure relationship. I knew I was not ready for a relationship again, and I swore I was going to work on my insecurities. A few months later I ...
A. 3 November 2014: This is a difficult situation. I think you are overwhelmed with his behavior that you never thought of solutions right after he mistreated you. I also think intellectually he understands that manipulation is not the way to go but he doesn't know any ... (read in full...)
I didn't get the same feeling on the second date?
Q. So, met a nice girl and went out for dinner on a first date. I definitely felt a wow after the first date - really put a huge smile on my face, knew I wanted to see her again, think we'd get along etc. So after a couple of weeks we went out on said ...
A. 2 November 2014: You are expecting things to just fall on your lap when in fact you two are also responsible for creating the romantic environment. For me, if i had to wait 2 weeks for a second date I would feel there's no urgency or enough interest to get to know ... (read in full...)
What's going on with my B/f? Is he gay? What was he setting up the video camera for?
Q. Over the 10 years or so I've been with my boyfriend he has continuously used porn. Until recently I thought only straight porn. He now confesses to occasionally watching gay porn. Also sending videos and naked pictures on a gay site. He only ...
A. 2 November 2014: I would think he's setting the video up for your daughter. Then he says he is gay as defense. When you wonder why he had been lying all that time and be with you, then he says he is not gay and hard to explain. There is nothing to explain about ... (read in full...)
I don't Identify as gay. She is not gay. I do have a major crush on her. I need help to try to understand my huge crush on this girl, please?
Q. I've been wanting to ask this question for almost two years now. I would so appreciate any advice on this matter omfg. I'm a 17-year-old girl and have had a thing for one of my juniors - also my favourite junior - for about two years now. It's ...
A. 1 November 2014: I think a lot of girls went through phases like this. She may have backed off because she thought you were gay and only a lesbian can give you what you need. She may also think that the 200 dollar gift was too much, like you were coming on too ... (read in full...)
I cheated my girlfriend and she found out?
Q. Ok so I've been dating my girlfriend Karen for two years, I'm 24 and she is 23. But about a month ago, I did the worst possible thing I could've done, I cheated on her with her best-friend Eva (not they real names). I knew that Eva had a thing for ...
A. 1 November 2014: Karen forgave Eva because she came clean, while you may keep the secret to the grave and unless you didn't get caught it didn't matter. Karen and Eva could be best friends and they feel they should keep the friendship forever while boyfriends come ... (read in full...)
My g/f confided that she is bisexual and now I'm afraid she'll leave me for a woman
Q. My girl and I have been dating for about 3 months. I have never had such great feelings for anyone before. Shes just amazing and i feel lucky to have her. But anyway, everything was going well until a few weeks ago when she came out that she was ...
A. 1 November 2014: The things you need to know are that she is happy with a man. She is not with a man because she's frustrated with women. She is not with a man just because it's easier and her family approves of it. She is not with a man because the state law does ... (read in full...)
We both like her -- do we negotiate?
Q. I'm in a love triangle. I like a girl and so does another guy. Should I speak to him about it? Do I ask if he likes her? Or does that show me as insecure. If he knows I like her then maybe he will back off or fight for her? is it worth fighting over ...
A. 1 November 2014: I assume that another guy is not your best friend, just someone you know. The one who asks the girl first and have her say yes is the one who wins. There is no need for a fight. You are not animals. It depends on two factors:
who the girl likes bett... (read in full...)
She's not shy, she's traumatized -- how do I tell her I know?
Q. My new girlfriend is what i thought was just plain shy towards me but my sister has found out that her ex boyfreind attacked her when she went to stay at his house and that he punched her in the back when she told him that she did not feel well to ...
A. 1 November 2014: I think having a relationship with her can be a gamble because you never know when a traumatized person fully recovers and will be ready for a relationship.
It sounds like your girlfriend knew your sister first, and she feels comfortable to conf... (read in full...)
Was he just in it for the sex?
Q. Dear friends I need your advice. I met a guy when I went to visit my sister cause she had a baby. He was my brother in law s friends. We didn't really talk that much at that time because we didn't really know eachother. Once he left the hospital I ...
A. 1 November 2014: What do you need help with? I suppose you would feel fear of being caught and would retreat from family gatherings. That's what he is doing. Trying to cover his ass and forget about what happened. It would be so impractical to expect this affair to ... (read in full...)
He's never said he loves me -- does he?
Q. My boyfriend is married and said to me that i am more than just fun to him and that if he was not married that we would be a couple and has told me that he would not know what to do if i was not in his life, my sister told me to get rid of him as ...
A. 1 November 2014: When we say love, it's the whole package and what he's willing to do for you in the long run. However some men loves to have fun on the side. He would not know what to do if he's not allowed to have the cake and eat it too. An x at the end of a ... (read in full...)
Does he truly love me or am I being taken for a mug?
Q. I have been with my partner for two years he moved into my place about 2 months of us being together, I told him it wasn't a good idea because it was too soon. He pretty much begged me and told me that everything would be perfect such as sharing ...
A. 1 November 2014: He has emotional issues and he loves you in his own way, and not the way that would make you feel reciprocated and satisfied. It is a kind of love that makes you feel suffocated and tired. You have been arguing about petty things so I don't think ... (read in full...)
My partner left me and is suffering with depression
Q. I could really do with somehelp and guidance.I was with my partner for 9 years and we have 2 children.I thought everything was fine until one day I came home from and said she does not love me anymore and that her head is a mess.She suffers with ...
A. 1 November 2014: You want the joyful part of her back but her depression is hurting you too. I don't think a really depressed person is capable of using or manipulating you. She really needs your help and is not motivated to do more beyond the bare minimum to ... (read in full...)
When the bf looks at other woman and their pictures, is that what he really wants?
Q. I understand that men sometimes can't help looking at another attractive woman or scrolling through their pictures of fb. I know that my boyfriend does both of these things (not on a regular basis, but occasionally). After reading about why men ...
A. 1 November 2014: There is an unfairness in gender because women are always better to look at than men. Women are objects of beauty so as a woman myself I prefer looking at female models rather than men. Masturbating to pictures of gorgeous men just isn't something ... (read in full...)
We've been playing cat and mouse for months. How do I tell him I like him?
Q. Hi, how do I let a guy know i like him? He is a good bit older than me and I know Bim from work. At first he was always looking at me, then he started helping me out all the time then subtle flirting. The problem is how we know each other if he made ...
A. 1 November 2014: There are many men who flirt but with no intentions of doing more, especially at work place there may be rules that discourage dating from within. So that is actually a safe space to flirt all they want without being pressured to make a move. ... (read in full...)
How do you let a man understand that having premarital sex is not the way to go
Q. Any man out here waited for their woman who did not want to have premarital sex and married her? And how are you doing in the marriage. Or do you know of anyone who this worked for? I am recently single two years ago and made a vow to the Lord ...
A. 1 November 2014: I think the long distance makes it hard. How do you expect a man to spend on on a month's lodging plus money on dates, if you won't allow him to stay over because there is no sex? How many times can he afford this in a year in order to get to know ... (read in full...)
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