How can I move on? He had multiple social media accounts and took drugs and smoked!
Q. Help me, I can't stop thinking of my ex and its making me really sad. I ended the relationship 2 weeks ago today (Sunday) because my mum wanted me to. He said he wanted to speak and then he started blanking me and I'm really confused. Today I was ...
A. 4 May 2016: I wouldn't, and I'll tell you why. IT doesn't matter whether he was or was not. It doesn't change how he treated you, it doesn't change a single thing. And.... you won't really know if he is lying or not.
Don't give him so much power over your tho... (read in full...)
Was I in the wrong for asking him about the pictures and did he only tell me he wanted to make things work so he could have sex?
Q. Hey my ex broke up with me about a month ago. Everything was going really well we'd made plans to live together when we'd both finished uni as I finish this year but he has one year left. He said that he never had a connection like the one he had ...
A. 3 May 2016: He sounds like a very petty and manipulative person (from what you write) and I agree with Cindy, there is a good chick of the "story" missing, bur regardless...
If I were you, I'd accept that he wasn't such a lovely guy as you thought. That he ... (read in full...)
How soon is too soon to go on a trip together? I'm a virgin.
Q. I've been seeing someone for 3 weeks, seven dates, and we speak daily. Our connection is amazing and we share everything. However one subject we haven't mentioned is sex. I went to his place once and we didn't do anything physical except kiss. Just ...
A. 3 May 2016: Yes, I think it's WAY too soon for travelling and personally, for sex.
If you feel you are ready, then talk exclusivity FIRST. I know after 7 dates you feel you know him, but honestly... you don't.
Sure, if he JUST wanted sex he could wine an... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to screen out women as potential partners due to their past sexual history and how many partners they have had?
Q. I spent a lot of my teens having low self-esteem and have very little dating experience. I had a girlfriend in high school. Still a virgin even though I have done everything else. I used a lot of that time to make sure I have an amazing future and ...
A. 2 May 2016: Auntie Cindy is right.
You do know, OP, that a GREAT lover is NOT the "hot guy" but the guy with the willingness to attune himself to his partner. Getting to KNOW her body, getting know her.
Washboard abs are LOVELY to look at, but let's face i... (read in full...)
Do tough guys like it rough too?
Q. Do dominant guys like to be manhandled in bed too? When I usually hear people talk about rough sex they usually only talk about what the guy does to the woman. Are there any guys who aren't submissive who liked to be choked, slapped, or even bruised ...
A. 2 May 2016: There are people who aren't submissive outside of the bedroom and not always IN the bedroom either.
It's not a given that EVERYONE likes to be choked, slapped etc. Like Chigirl said, it's a fetish. It's not about the pain as much as the giving u... (read in full...)
Can he change? There's good and bad.
Q. Married five years. With the exception of my pregnancy, my husband has emotionally and physically abused me the entire time. He talks down to me and expects everything in the house to be done his way from meals to laundry. When I do something wrong ...
A. 2 May 2016: Why not GIVE the couples counseling a chance? But I would suggest he doesn't come BACK in the house till you two have worked THROUGH this, or at least keep separate bedrooms. He seems willing to do anything, but that doesn't mean he WILL change.
... (read in full...)
Did he just need some time for himself? Or was my Bf trying to create distance between us?
Q. Would you be upset with your long time BF if you just spent two weeks on vacation and the last two days you had together when you got back back home he did not stay at your place? Instead he went back to his for some "me" time? He could have s...
A. 2 May 2016: I get why you feel hurt, but I also TOTALLY get his point of view. You two don't live together normally so spending 2 weeks can seem rather "immersive" and wanting to have a few days of "me-time" and rest before going back to the job and daily ... (read in full...)
Still in love though we have never acted on it. How long does it take before you fall out of love?
Q. I am in love with a guy and I know that he's in love with me too (don't want to bore you with details). We are both married (he has kids) and work together. So it is totally inappropriate. We never acted on it and I never plan to act on it. ...
A. 2 May 2016: I don't think it's entirely uncommon for this to happen. The fact that you both haven't acted on it is (IMHO) a good thing.
What I would suggest is you starting to nip it in the bid EVERY TIME you think of him or the "what if's".
And you start... (read in full...)
Is breaking up our friendship my only option? Or is there a better way to deal with this problem?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles some friend and parenting advice please. I have a friend called T who lives a few houses down from me in the same street. We have been friends for a couple of years and our daughters play together. Recently things have been...
A. 2 May 2016: I agree with Ivy.
You can correct BOTH girls in a calm manner. As a parent you should NOT just sit by and wait for other parents to STOP their child from being being a bully. Seriously. You are teaching your daughter that YOU do NOT stand up for h... (read in full...)
How can I move on? He had multiple social media accounts and took drugs and smoked!
Q. Help me, I can't stop thinking of my ex and its making me really sad. I ended the relationship 2 weeks ago today (Sunday) because my mum wanted me to. He said he wanted to speak and then he started blanking me and I'm really confused. Today I was ...
A. 2 May 2016: How can you move on? By accepting that HE was a loser and your mom was right in suggesting you end it.
You can't move on because you CHOOSE not to. The fact that he blanked you, makes you feel like you have something to prove to him. YOU don't.
... (read in full...)
If you've already had sex, then which do you think is better - Affection or Sex?
Q. I don't think I want to have sex. I thought I did and I was getting ready to lose my v card soon. But every time I think about sex...I'd say ninety percent of the reason I'd have it is because the guy wants it. I know it sounds stereotypical bu...
A. 2 May 2016: I so agree with Cindy.
You CAN have both, but many settle for less. Many people settle for FWB, F-buddies, casual relationships that focus mainly (or solely) on sex. They settle for it because they think they can rush things. Get "instant... (read in full...)
Love my Gf but my ex occupies my thoughts, a lot. What should I do?
Q. Hey guys, I'm going to try keep this brief for you. A year ago I was made heart broken when my girlfriend split up with me. It was very out of the blue and was a total shock. Throughout last year I suffered from a severe breakdown because of it, a...
A. 2 May 2016: I think it's pretty unfair for your current GF that you got back in touch with the ex and is still talking and meeting up. NOT cool. I'm pretty sure YOU wouldn't like a partner doing THAT.
You aren't over your EX, which means while you might ca... (read in full...)
If our LDR is really over then why is he still responding to my messages?
Q. Hello, and thanks in advance for your advice you are able to offer. I was together with my partner for 16 months. It was a long distance thing, and we saw each other most weekends. Were have been apart for six weeks new, he finished it with...
A. 2 May 2016: Why? Because while he wanted to move on "relationship wise" he likes the familiarity of having you "around" to talk to, and MAYBE he also feels a bit guilty for dumping you. Another thing could be that he is keeping his options open, keeping you ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to screen out women as potential partners due to their past sexual history and how many partners they have had?
Q. I spent a lot of my teens having low self-esteem and have very little dating experience. I had a girlfriend in high school. Still a virgin even though I have done everything else. I used a lot of that time to make sure I have an amazing future and ...
A. 2 May 2016: I think it's fine having some "wishes" on your check-list, not just for yourself but FOR her sake too. A girl who have had more partners might NOT want to deal with a guy who is more worried about HER sexual past then building a future together.
... (read in full...)
Is it better to just ignore his text or pretend I never received it?
Q. I went out on Friday night with some friends and their friends (whom I had never met). One of the guys asked me for my phone number before I left. He knows I don't have a boyfriend. I gave it to him but I'm not interested at all romantic...
A. 1 May 2016: If you give out your number, you need to follow up with HONESTY. Either tell him, I'd met up for coffee as long as you understand that I'm not looking for a BF. Or you can go, have coffee and tell him in person.
IF you have NO interest in a guy...... (read in full...)
He's drunk and abusive. How do you reason with someone like this, for the sake of your kids?
Q. I've been with my partner, "Bill", for 12 years and we have a family together. Tonight he told me for the umpteenth time that he was sick of my bad attitude and that I need to "know my place". Then he told me it's over and to expect all my thing...
A. 1 May 2016: He might WANT you to stay at the MIL house on the grounds, doesn't mean you HAVE to.
I would suggest that you record (if you can without his knowledge) next time he goes off. (consider a voice activated little recorder device, they are about $2... (read in full...)
Why do guys want intercourse so badly?
Q. Why do they want to have sex so badly? I was skimming the online forums about this; like those pua forums with the creepy guys who do everything they possibly can to get sex. And...I was reading all the replies and different terms, and I want to ...
A. 1 May 2016: Sorry, Chi! Don't know if you can google Saturday Night Live and then the "Pick up artists" skit. :(... (read in full...)
Why do guys want intercourse so badly?
Q. Why do they want to have sex so badly? I was skimming the online forums about this; like those pua forums with the creepy guys who do everything they possibly can to get sex. And...I was reading all the replies and different terms, and I want to ...
A. 30 April 2016: I think if you read about sex on PUA forums you are reading the post of guy who are DESPERATE for sex because they think sex will validate them as "men". So it's a PRETTY skewered view you get. The whole notion of "Pick Up Artists" is so sleazy and ... (read in full...)
When travelling, what are your pet peeves about the people you meet and the places you visit outside of your own country?
Q. This is not a relationship issue, it's just something recreational if any of you wants to humour me up. So : yesterday I was reading on a travellers' forum a thread called "Why Italians are so rude." Now, .. Italian can be rude, I am not argui...
A. 30 April 2016: To anon female who wrote:
"I've found Italians can be dishonest - e.g a taxi driver will tell you a price then when you get to the destination will charge you a whole lot more"
---------------
Honey, that is not just the Italians... Same thi... (read in full...)
When travelling, what are your pet peeves about the people you meet and the places you visit outside of your own country?
Q. This is not a relationship issue, it's just something recreational if any of you wants to humour me up. So : yesterday I was reading on a travellers' forum a thread called "Why Italians are so rude." Now, .. Italian can be rude, I am not argui...
A. 30 April 2016: Good grief Chi! That hairstyle is a hideous trend!
It's as ridiculous as the pants handing below your butt trend here in the US. I don't want to see your underwear, or your butt! Pull your pants up, man!!
Funny enough, both trends were star... (read in full...)
What are the main reasons that would motivate a woman to want to break up with a guy?
Q. I would like the opinion of the lady's an men who write in all the time, my question is what's the main reasons for women to dump the guys? Is it they found some one new, he cheated , he treats her bad, got bored of him, he was to nice, came on ...
A. 30 April 2016: I still don't get what "too nice" means.
My first BF was/is a REALLY nice guy, and so was/os my second. They were lovely, caring and compassionate. I CERTAINLY didn't end either relationship because they were "too nice". The first ended because ... (read in full...)
When travelling, what are your pet peeves about the people you meet and the places you visit outside of your own country?
Q. This is not a relationship issue, it's just something recreational if any of you wants to humour me up. So : yesterday I was reading on a travellers' forum a thread called "Why Italians are so rude." Now, .. Italian can be rude, I am not argui...
A. 30 April 2016: I guess I'll list most of the places I have been.
I love Italians :) Their food, culture, country, wine, beaches, sight and sounds. However, I do NOT like getting my bum pinched by Italian men. When I was in Rome last time, my poor bum was full... (read in full...)
Is my cheating any worse than the abuse he inflicts or threatens me with, regularly? Is getting help as impossible?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 8 years.I'm cheating on him. My husband has been abusing me for the last 3 years.Apart from the physical abuse which he exercises every day he abuses me verbally as well. He calls me all the names under the ...
A. 30 April 2016: This isn't a who is "worse" - this is YOUR life!
I agree that you NEED to tell your family and you NEED to get out of that house and marriage.
While you might feel like what YOU are doing is "freeing" and enjoyable - consider that the OTHER m... (read in full...)
Advice needed, please? Would my subsequent actions be enough for me to get pregnant?
Q. So today I hooked up with this guy and we had oral sex. We didn't have sex. Everything was fine, he ate me and I sucked him till he came on my chest. When we ended, I might have gotten some semen on my fingers since it got on my shirt too, but I ...
A. 30 April 2016: It's unlikely. Though sperm CAN survive for a good while outside the body, I don't think you got pregnant from it. Don't forget you also need to be ovulating. There aren't just eggs hanging around waiting to be fertilized. Plus the vulva and clit ... (read in full...)
What are the main reasons that would motivate a woman to want to break up with a guy?
Q. I would like the opinion of the lady's an men who write in all the time, my question is what's the main reasons for women to dump the guys? Is it they found some one new, he cheated , he treats her bad, got bored of him, he was to nice, came on ...
A. 30 April 2016: Sure that CAN be the reason, but I don't think it's the "major" reason.
I have seen more women take a longer "break" from dating after a break up, than I have seen guys. It does seem more common that guy jump into a new relationship to get over... (read in full...)
We’ve been dating one month and I found his arrest records online! Should I ask him about it? How?
Q. I’ve been dating a wonderful man for a month. We’re very compatible, he’s family oriented and successful, and does everything big and little to show he cares for me. All signs are very good. He’s an entrepreneur and there’s plenty of info about him ...
A. 30 April 2016: You COULD ask him, or you can spend $15 on a background check.
Personally, I'd do that latter since you have only known him a month. And YES, I DO think it's important to know what it is. If he is on the sexual offenders list for instance... (read in full...)
Wearing jewelry from an ex whilst out on a date with a new partner... thoughts?
Q. I want to know what everybody's thoughts are on wearing jewellery from an ex partner whilst out on a date with a new partner. Thank you!...
A. 29 April 2016: I don't see the problem UNLESS it's an "old" engagement ring.
I don't see a reason to explain where you got it from, but if he asks, why not be honest?
Do you think a new guy would cross examine you on your jewelry? I mean it IS just jewelry.... (read in full...)
He thinks I stole his money! I’m so hurt! Should I leave?
Q. Dear cupid I’ve been seeing a man for almost 6 years I’m now living with him he say he lost so I'm money and the first person he blames is me because we are the only 2 people live in the house but his son is always comes in as he please a...
A. 29 April 2016: Wow, his first reaction to not being able to find this money is to accuse you of theft? You, his partner?
I'd be looking for some place else to live and to end it.
A relationship with THIS level of distrust is not healthy.... (read in full...)
What do I do about this? He doesn’t return the favor!
Q. so here goes... From the ages of 15 (lost my virginity) to 21 I've always had oral sex given to me with out asking (im now 23)...(by boyfriends not randoms) My current boyfriend of two years this september has only gone down on me a hand full...
A. 29 April 2016: He doesn't like giving head, but he doesn't want to offend. Some people are just not that into oral.
Let's say for a minute that YOU didn't like to do something sexual. Like... I don't know? Random example.. sticking your finger in his bum whil... (read in full...)
Should I just ignore my fiance until I return from my family vacation?
Q. I'm getting married to my fiance in October. At the moment I am on holidays with my mother and sister. I have to send the first text to my other half always. It's like "out of sight out of mind". Why? Should I just ignore him now until I get home...
A. 29 April 2016: I SO agree with Cindy.
Texting is NOT one of his ways of communications and that is OK. He is still trying to do it in order to please you.
How about you ENJOY you vacation, be PRESENT where you are at and whom you are with instead of focus... (read in full...)
She wants us to start again. What would be the best thing to do?
Q. I have been seeing my girl for nearly a year. My pal is on a dating site POF. He told me my girlfriends photo profile came up in a search, so I checked it out for myself. He wasnt lying. It said she had logged in within the last 24 hours. I ...
A. 29 April 2016: To not start again.
She has taken no responsibility for what she did. She lied and blamed first your friend, then HER friends, then you. She was mad that she got caught. And there is no signs of remorse.
Seriously.
I'm sorry, I would NO... (read in full...)
Can you change a player just a little?
Q. I'm trying to decide if I should have sex with a guy who's a player. If i don't have sex he'll just ignore me. If I do, then I'll get ignored after...but I was thinking, even if I can't get him to commit, what if I got him to at least do nice things ...
A. 29 April 2016: You DO know that being "hot" doesn't mean he is a good lover or lay, but if you just want "bragging-rights for "bagging" him, then go into it with your eyes open and NO expectations.... (read in full...)
How can I get out of this abusive relationship? He has everyone fooled into thinking he is a good guy
Q. My boyfriend has been getting messages from girls he has been with and never tells me about it. Unless I look at his stuff I don't ever know. And only one of the girls has asked him if he was with anyone which he said yes he was. But the others...
A. 29 April 2016: I agree ASK your family for a small loan - you can get a cheap flight (around $200) from CA to FL.
You can always pay them back when you get back on your feet.
Or if you have ANYTHING of value you can pawn or sell it will be worth it to get ... (read in full...)
Was this a normal variation for a penis shape?
Q. Hey guys, so I have a question that's gonna hit a rather touchy area, especially for men, so please keep in mind; I have very little sexual experience (I've never had full intercourse)! So I was recently dumped by a long term boyfriend, and a friend...
A. 29 April 2016: I too haven't seen that many, but... they were ALL different in color, size and shape.
If you want to compare them... think of them as having as much variety as boobs. Small, medium, large, Xlarge - some with little nipples, some big, some dar... (read in full...)
When do I raise the awkward subject of menstrating with boys I am dating?
Q. When is a good time to tell a guy you're on your period? Seems like every boyfriend since high school gets really grossed out or mad at me when I tell him. In high school I didn't have to because I only had three boyfriends. The one I only dated...
A. 28 April 2016: Don't get sexual so fast?
And if a guy goes ewww over menstruation/female body hair... walk away immediately, but not before calling him out on it. Telling him how immature and ignorant he is. Don't let some guy try and "shame" you for somethin... (read in full...)
Can you change a player just a little?
Q. I'm trying to decide if I should have sex with a guy who's a player. If i don't have sex he'll just ignore me. If I do, then I'll get ignored after...but I was thinking, even if I can't get him to commit, what if I got him to at least do nice things ...
A. 28 April 2016: No, honey. He isn't a puppy who you can "get to" do tricks for you and be "nice" to you.
If you ALREADY know how he is going to treat you, either DON'T have sex and IGNORE the fool. OR have sex and accept being ignored afterwards.
Why so desper... (read in full...)
Why doesn’t he want this other bus driver to know who the gifts are from?
Q. dear cupid, I like this guy his a bus driver I know him about 3 years we talk a lot on the phone not every day but ever other day so on holidays I get him gifts but now he what’s me to get this other women gift she also a bus driver which she's ...
A. 28 April 2016: I find this whole story bizarre.
How is it ANY of his business WHOM you give presents to? Why do you HAVE to prove that he can "trust" you to "follow orders"?
Are you sweet on the guy and hoping he will return the affection? Is that why you giv... (read in full...)
I’m worried about going bald, how do family genetics cause it?
Q. Hi I sometimes struggle with low self esteem and confidence and I've always been critical on how I look, but recently I had my hair cut, 3 back and sides short on top, standard, and I cannot seem to tell if I receading or not , or if it just me been ...
A. 28 April 2016: I will just quote Men's Journal here:
"It is a complete myth that baldness is inherited from only the mother's side of the family. You hair future is determined by genes from both sides of your family and you have likely ended up with some mix... (read in full...)
My boyfriend sometimes blurts out something that just sounds wrong! What do I do in this situation?
Q. Hello, Need some advice. My boyfriend is a really wonderful guy! My only issue is that sometimes he means to say one thing and it will come out wrong, especially with friends/acquaintances or when a little tipsy. For example, we were meeting ...
A. 28 April 2016: Does he lack filter? Or does he "just" speak before thinking?
I don't think YOU need to be embarrassed over things HE says, unless the statements are just all "wrong". Whatever HE says is HIS opinion and well, he is ALLOWED to have his own opin... (read in full...)
I thought we were on the same page about a baby, but now he wants to go travelling.
Q. A year a go I found out I had pcos and it horrified me that I would never conceive. I spoke with my partner and said I don't really want to wait to try for a baby - I'm 24 so it wasnt unrealistic. A year later and all of a sudden my partner wants to ...
A. 28 April 2016: I fully understand OP, unfortunately... it takes two people to make a baby, and HE should have the choice NOT to want to father one if he doesn't want to. It might mean you two have grown apart and he is no longer the "man" for you.
While your bio... (read in full...)
When is it the right time to leave?
Q. Okay. To answer my question I strongly believe you will need my whole backstory. So lets just jump into it. We met at 16, it was bliss, romance, and teenage rebelion at its finest. She was perfect and at this moment i knew I was in love. ...
A. 28 April 2016: I agree with Ivy,
I would file for divorce and do a paternity test on #2. However, depending on the state you live in/he was born in - you MIGHT still be stuck with paying child support even if he ISN'T yours. There is an expectations that a C... (read in full...)
We are back together, but he is still talking with the girl he dated when we were split up!
Q. I've been dating my ex boyfriend again for the last 4 months. We were broken up for about 6 months and he was dating someone else for 4 months out of the 6 months we were broken up. He says they were not that serious but they did like each other. ...
A. 28 April 2016: I'm with Ivy, I'd break up with him.
If he TRULY wants to start over with you, he needs to let HER go. Not keep her around as a spare. It's not fair to you, and not fair to her. It's actually pretty darn selfish of him.
You are wasting your tim... (read in full...)
I thought we were on the same page about a baby, but now he wants to go travelling.
Q. A year a go I found out I had pcos and it horrified me that I would never conceive. I spoke with my partner and said I don't really want to wait to try for a baby - I'm 24 so it wasnt unrealistic. A year later and all of a sudden my partner wants to ...
A. 28 April 2016: Well, I can see why that sucks - but in all honesty, I think it's better he finally got it out BEFORE knocking you up and walking away.
Your dreams for the future and his, no longer coincide with YOUR time-plan. He isn't ready for kids just yet... (read in full...)
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