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... Send *oubleM a private message | | | *oubleM's profile:DoubleM currently resides in Fort Worth Texas, but has lived in southern California (Hollywood), Hawaii, Europe and North Africa as well as Texas. Attended the University of Texas. Now single (possibly forever) after three marriages, one of 20 years. Mainly tries to help with sexual issues. Views and opinions are very permissive and suggestions are often brief and to the point. |
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What do I do if he does not stop this nonsense? We serve on the same committee.
Q. Thank you in advance to all the great agony aunts who take the time to answer this. I did write in last week about a difficult situation where I am working on a committee with an ex who is being alternately rude and disrespectful. The work I am ...
A. 28 September 2008: Stay the course woman ! Show strength. Excel at the work. For one, I am cheering you.... (read in full...)
I love my husband, but he's below average in the bedroom. I had 'textual affair' and now want my husband to try dirty texting...
Q. Hi I am married to the most amazing guy.. He is soooo reliable and gets on brilliantly with everyone I know. I know he wouldnt be the most attractive guy to every other girl but to me he's special and I find myself really attracted to him. At time's ...
A. 28 September 2008: All I can offer is that most any man can become a real dream lover in the bedroom if he is willing to apply a good degree of patience along with knowledgeable foreplay and a talented tongue in the process. It is truly a shame that you, along with so ... (read in full...)
If your hymen is broken before you have sex for the first time, will sex hurt?
Q. I've been told something, and I just want to know if it's true or not. If your hymen is broken before you have sex for the first time, sex won't hurt. Is this true?? If so, can you break your hymen yourself?? And will it hurt??...
A. 28 September 2008: Everyone is different, and every situation is different. There are just too many variables for anyone to say much about this for certain. It was many years ago in my case, but assuming that a number of alleged young virgins told me truth, few ... (read in full...)
How long can a guy hold out for not having sex?
Q. does it matter how long a guy lasts depending on how often he has sex? I mean, if a guy claims to not have had sex for a long time, but can hold out for quite a while, is that normal?...
A. 26 September 2008: Ambiguous terms. How long is a long time? How long is "quite a while?" In your age bracket, none of that makes much difference. Except that if you have a young boyfriend who can perform intercourse for 15 minutes or more, most women would consider ... (read in full...)
Our sex life has declined. Is it my fault or is he just stressed out?
Q. I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 21 and we have recently moved to a new city together. He tells me he loves me all the time but never really seems interested in having sex. Everytime I initiate it, he loses his erection half way through sex, it makes me ...
A. 26 September 2008: If you are in love, then bear it out and continue to be supportive. We all go through phases and indeed, stress and many other things can affect our sex lives. Hopefully, whatever may be affecting his libido will subside.... (read in full...)
I love him but does he just want to sleep with me?
Q. I have been with this guy for several months. I lost my virginity to him hoping we will end up dating but he said he just got out of a 3 year relationship. I dont really know why, but I kept on sleeping with him for 2 months. I know it was stupid, ...
A. 25 September 2008: In my opinion, you agreed to have sex with him for a misguided reason. It is ok to have sex because you enjoy it, or because you either love or are very fond of the person. It is even ok to have sex just for the fun of it, or because you are ... (read in full...)
I feel like I have failed at getting over him. Any words of wisdom?
Q. I hope someone can help with a situation which seems hopeless right now. I broke up with my boyfriend in June but we have to keep seeing each other and it is proving to be so hard. We do important work on a committee and he had a soiree for the ...
A. 25 September 2008: You do not provide your age, but based on the possible business or government position mentioned I must assume that you are at least legal age or somewhat more mature. If true, then I suspect you should realize that you were probably just another ... (read in full...)
I've been having an affair with an older woman, now my girlfriend has asked me to marry her!
Q. I'm 23 years old, and have been in a steady relationship for 2 years now. However, for the last 6 months I have been having an affair with an older women. She's 45, and I know that there's no future with this woman, but I enjoy her company. My gi...
A. 25 September 2008: For my input, I much agree with "sappygirl" - and to some degree with the anonymous reader that you should NOT be making any decisions that would adversely affect other's lives. In other words, with your current degree of wisdom, you should not ... (read in full...)
Does my husband have a porn addiction?
Q. I have just discovered my husbands porn addiction. We have been married for 27 years. I have always known that he looks, but accepted it. Recently I was off work with a broken bone for 6 weeks, and he kept disappearing to the computer room. When I ...
A. 24 September 2008: Partially in agreement with the previous "female reader, anonymous," I would say that your husband's porno activity may be acceptable IF he still satisfies your needs. However, if he "chose porn over me" as you indicate, then there is a potential ... (read in full...)
Does anybody have any advice or tips of how friends of the opposite sex can live together?
Q. Next summer I will be moving in to an apartment with my best guy friend. We will both be 18. We have known each other for a little over 4 years and get along really well most of the time. I lost my virginity to him, and we have never been toge...
A. 24 September 2008: You say that your friend was your first sexual lover and that you have "hidden" feelings for him, which is understandable. I would prefer that all young women have (at least) VERY strong feelings for any man with whom they first share their ultimate ... (read in full...)
How do you tell your girlfriend they're bad at giving oral sex?
Q. How do you tell your girlfriend they're bad at giving oral sex? I've tried talking to her about it but she kinda got really upset and slapped me a few times and then walked away....
A. 24 September 2008: Ok, well do the same thing while you are going down. Stop and start talking just as she starts heating up, or as she nears orgasm. If she complains, well what goes around comes around. LOL... (read in full...)
How do you tell your girlfriend they're bad at giving oral sex?
Q. How do you tell your girlfriend they're bad at giving oral sex? I've tried talking to her about it but she kinda got really upset and slapped me a few times and then walked away....
A. 23 September 2008: Well then, what is so bad about her technique? As the old saying may be applied here, "The worst blow job ever received was wonderful." Well, at least if it were performed to completion. So what is so bad about her attempts? And then I think that ... (read in full...)
How do you tell your girlfriend they're bad at giving oral sex?
Q. How do you tell your girlfriend they're bad at giving oral sex? I've tried talking to her about it but she kinda got really upset and slapped me a few times and then walked away....
A. 23 September 2008: You provide very little information here, but do you provide oral sex for your girlfriend? If so, do you do it extremely well? Does she orgasm one or more times? If you do not provide clitoral stimulation orally, you could learn how and apply ... (read in full...)
What can we do to improve sex?
Q. My gf says she doesnt feel much sensation during sex. i have tried different positions and many more things what shouldwe do as a couple to improve her sex?...
A. 23 September 2008: Cunnilingus would be a good start.... (read in full...)
He prefers sex with 'himself' than me! What can I do?
Q. i have been with the same man for about nineteen years, and we stop sleeping together for about eight years in the same bed. thats ok with me. its the sex that i am concerned about. he would rather watch porn than to have sex with me. i dont even ...
A. 22 September 2008: Unfortunately, I think that your story reflects the lives of too many of us these days - brides and grooms, lovers or whatever. In your situation, based on your description, the relationship may have reach a crossroads.
In my opinion, the prob... (read in full...)
I'm a 64yr old man who is in a relationship with a 20yr old girl...
Q. i am a 64yr old man who is in a relationship with a 20yr old girl..im also impotent but manage to satify my girl in other ways..we love each other very much..i have tried to end it with her...for her sake but she wont have it...am i being selfish in ...
A. 21 September 2008: Allow me to add a couple of thoughts here. Especially, I do not discount the possibility of love despite a considerable age difference. Many young women gravitate to older men because of several things, such as maturity, faithfulness, security and ... (read in full...)
I'm a 64yr old man who is in a relationship with a 20yr old girl...
Q. i am a 64yr old man who is in a relationship with a 20yr old girl..im also impotent but manage to satify my girl in other ways..we love each other very much..i have tried to end it with her...for her sake but she wont have it...am i being selfish in ...
A. 21 September 2008: Well, I'm a 60-year-old man who possibly "wishes" that I could be in such a relationship for purely sexual reasons, but I would have serious problems relating on an emotional and intellectual basis, as perhaps you have experienced. You have provided ... (read in full...)
I feel gross and trashy after my girlfriend told me how 'going down' on her is so disgusting!
Q. My girlfriend and I have oral sex. I know that she really enjoys it when I go down on her. This morning I wanted to arouse her so I started talking about eating her pussy. She went on and on about how disgusting eating pussy it. How it’s so gross...
A. 21 September 2008: There is dichotomy in all this. You say that she "really enjoys it" but thinks it is a disgusting thing to do, so now you feel dirty, gross and like debased trash - but you like to give her pleasure. So . . . stop providing that pleasure. But I'll ... (read in full...)
It was just a few strokes unprotected, but I am worried.
Q. Hello, I am hoping someone can answer this question. Well it might seem like a stupid one but it is one I need an answer to. Can you get pregnant through just inserting the penis in a few times? It was just a few strokes unprotected, but I am worr...
A. 20 September 2008: Well, I am not one of the advisors who believe that pregnancy is probable every time a penis nears a vagina - but I also probably played a lot of "Russian roulette" with sex during my younger years. I'm not certain whether most young women in the ... (read in full...)
My lover and I are trying sex in different places. What information/advice do you have?
Q. My lover and I are trying sex in different places. What information/advice do you have about sex in a spa/bath tub? What sex positions work well for sex in a spa/bath tub? What are some fun things that can be done as part of spa/bath tub sex? Wh...
A. 20 September 2008: Well, my ex-wife and numerous past girlfriends and I often enjoyed oral sex both in bathtubs and showers. Especially during showers, the constant running water tends to keep the points of focus both nicely lubricated and fresh. I'll always remember ... (read in full...)
Shaving testicles? How can this be done? Does it make sex better?
Q. My hubby and me were wondering if it is possible to shave testicles? If so how exactly is it done? Does it cause razer burn like it does to women? Does it make sex better?...
A. 19 September 2008: Just have him trim up a bit every once in awhile, much as "Lance Merriweather" recommends. No need to shave the scrotum, just trim shorter and shave the abdominal are a bit. ... (read in full...)
I can cum in every position but doggy-style - why not?
Q. He loves to make me cum and I love how hot it gets him!! I can come in every position but doggy stile, we are on a mission for me to cum that way. The other night I was so close my clit was all swelled up and I was dripping wet. I was had my chest ...
A. 18 September 2008: While I am not a woman, I still believe that you are fortunate to so readily and easily orgasm most of the time, when many women rarely if ever experience a full climax. The switching to doggie-style as earlier mentioned may expand your experience. ... (read in full...)
My husband is struggling with low sexual desire-Please help if you ca
Q. I'm in a terrible confusion, and I don't know what to think.. My husband is struggling with low sexual desire, and erectal dissfunction at the last few years.. He went for medical check-up, any ,they never found anything... He also has involunt...
A. 18 September 2008: The advice from "kinkydude" should be useful, and I agree that it is too soon to suspect he is gay. All kinds of things - such as stress at work or otherwise, emotional ups and downs, medications and more - can affect anyone's libido. Also, it is ... (read in full...)
Maybe this is normal..?
Q. My boyfriend and I only have sex once a week. I don't ever turn him down but he only tries once a week... we haven't been together that long, only 5 months. Is this normal? Everyone I have been in a relationship with before him wanted it at LEAST ...
A. 18 September 2008: It's barely normal enough. Everyone has different degrees of sexual drive and I think that about three times weekly is a good average in your age bracket. So, maybe your short-time bf is a bit less active, but it is entirely up to you if that is ... (read in full...)
If my wife were to ever swallow my semen, would it get into our baby's system as she is still nursing?
Q. Hello, my wife and I have oral sex and she nurses our ten mouth old, I was wondering if she were to ever swallow would the semen get into our baby's system??...
A. 18 September 2008: It would not hurt the baby if it does pass on to some degree. Anything that a pregnant woman intakes will certainly pass to the fetus after processing by her gastrointestinal system, where it is broken down into nutrient material. A healthy man's ... (read in full...)
Me, my wife and our girlfriend...happily ever after?
Q. Okay, here is the situation. My wife of nearly ten years fell in love with a woman after a period of time, where it was mostly just playful and some physical stuff. It was not intended and I always thought my wife was bi curious, but she obvi...
A. 18 September 2008: Well, best wishes. Sounds like a very interesting triad, if you can hold it together and the girls do not begin to shut you out. To answer your question regarding research, you might try the words polygamy and romantic triad. ... (read in full...)
I can cum in every position but doggy-style - why not?
Q. He loves to make me cum and I love how hot it gets him!! I can come in every position but doggy stile, we are on a mission for me to cum that way. The other night I was so close my clit was all swelled up and I was dripping wet. I was had my chest ...
A. 18 September 2008: Most women do not even orgasm via intercourse alone, and you said that you are pleasured with most positions - therefore, you are apparently very fortunate. While it may seem notable to add this position to your successful repertoire with orgasm, I ... (read in full...)
What classifies as an "active" sex life? Just curious?
Q. How much times do you have to have sex in a week to have an active sexual life??...
A. 17 September 2008: Three or four times a week is plenty active for most folks, especially in a committed relationship. But you must know that we all go through phases in life. When young, horny, single and attending college or something, most of us are always ready. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is so immature, he pouts constantly like a child, I am at a point where I feel I want a MAN and not a boy! Help!
Q. I'm 20 years old and have been in a relationship w/ my bf for 2 years. Sometimes I feel like it's very serious. Sometimes I just want to leave. There are so many problems that I don't where to start. First of all, sometimes he is so immature I feel ...
A. 17 September 2008: It sounds like you have reached a point in your life when you move on. It is always kind of scary, confusing and very uncomfortable in many ways, but you have to end it, chill for awhile then begin to open up to other possibilities. No hurry. You ... (read in full...)
Reluctant to let him see me naked as I feel too fat!
Q. ok i am 18 year old and i am 5'2 i wieght 140 ok the problem is that my boyfriend what us to have sex but we havent because of me. i feel too fat and i dont want him to see me naked because i think i might crouse him out what do i do i know am ...
A. 17 September 2008: First of all, there is no reason to be in such a hurry. If he is not already a long-term love, with a lot of really great time that you have spent together, then you should expect that his insistence on sex is something less than true love, caring ... (read in full...)
When I came, it was lumpy instead of watery like usual. Is this normal?
Q. i was having a 'moment' to myself earlier and noticed all wasnt as it should be... usually my cum is just like water but it was lumpy... this has NEVER happened before... should i be worried? ...
A. 17 September 2008: Oh and also, I think that changes in fluid intake (such as less or much more over a few days), health issues (such as a viral cold, influenza or whatever), stress or extended lack of sleep may affect semen consistency. ... (read in full...)
I have lost interest in my current girlfriend, and I think about my ex-girlfriend, although it's been two years, since we broke up, what do I do at this point?
Q. i think i lost interst in my current girlfriend and i still yhink about my ex alot although it as been almost 2 years since i lost her...
A. 17 September 2008: You could move on to the "next" girlfriend and then, after awhile, begin thinking a lot about the other two.... (read in full...)
When I came, it was lumpy instead of watery like usual. Is this normal?
Q. i was having a 'moment' to myself earlier and noticed all wasnt as it should be... usually my cum is just like water but it was lumpy... this has NEVER happened before... should i be worried? ...
A. 17 September 2008: No, I don't think that you should worry. The consistency of semen changes from time to time, and at different ages. possibly to some degree depending on changes in diet. Sometimes it may be almost watery - and thicker at other times.... (read in full...)
Me, my wife and our girlfriend...happily ever after?
Q. Okay, here is the situation. My wife of nearly ten years fell in love with a woman after a period of time, where it was mostly just playful and some physical stuff. It was not intended and I always thought my wife was bi curious, but she obvi...
A. 16 September 2008: These days, my comment would have to be: "Why not?"
As long as the three of you remain happy and satisfied, then give it a go. As "BigSis" recommends, stay open and honest at all times and you may experience some ultimate pleasures under these circ... (read in full...)
Is it true that you can get pregnant if you have sex a couple of days before your period?
Q. I think im pregnant. Im supposed to get my period already, we had sex 3 days ago and people say that if u have sex like a couple days befoore ur period u can get pregnant. is it true? and what should i do?...
A. 15 September 2008: Ooops ! I made a mistake using the word "ovulation" rather than "menstruation" in my response below. Menstruation is the release of an unfertilized ovum (egg) from the uterus. Sorry for any confusion. ... (read in full...)
I'd really like to give my partner a G-spot orgasm, can you give me tips?
Q. i try to keep things interesting with my partner sexually. We have a great time, and are really into things. Some of the ideas we've explored were blended orgasms, "jewel honoring", tantra, and other esoteric ideas... But I was wondering about so...
A. 15 September 2008: To "CatherineAn,"
To attempt an answer to your question, female ejaculation is certainly NOT required to achieve orgasm by G-spot, but I would suppose that some women ejaculate. If the question were worded somewhat differently, the phys... (read in full...)
Is it true that you can get pregnant if you have sex a couple of days before your period?
Q. I think im pregnant. Im supposed to get my period already, we had sex 3 days ago and people say that if u have sex like a couple days befoore ur period u can get pregnant. is it true? and what should i do?...
A. 15 September 2008: The thought that unprotected sexual intercourse between a fertile heterosexual couple just before or after the female's menstrual period presents a high probability for pregnancy is the OPPOSITE of truth. The truth is that the several days (about 3 ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for a 13 year old to date a 16 year old?
Q. im 13 and i really like this guy who is 15, but he is about to turn 16 in a couple months, is it wrong if we date? but i really like him, and he really likes me....
A. 15 September 2008: I'll offer what you may consider a "Granddad" opinion - being that I'm about 60-years-old, which you likely consider archaic (but probably unlike what you have been told, it was quite wild and fun back then for many of us oldies):
Of course you can ... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish for wanting him to pleasure me? Should he always use a condom?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for 7 months. We have taken it slow and respect each other sexually; we are still virgins as well but I am on birth control and we are working on sex (he's too be for me). When we fool around though, ...
A. 15 September 2008: In my opinion, "Emilysanswers" is right that you should get your jollies as well, and he should take care of you orally first. It is and should be a two-way deal. The condoms are unnecessary during oral sex, in this situation, unless you have a ... (read in full...)
I do enjoy sex! But I can't explain the tears during it?
Q. Hi. Well, here it is. I've been together for with my bf for almost a year, the sex is good and i'm now pretty comfortable with everything we do together and we love each other dearly. Now i wanna know, is it normal to have tears dripping out when ...
A. 13 September 2008: All the previous dear advisors, Tisha-1," "thatgothgirl20," "Annalisa" and "Smiles" have offered such excellent information, and I can only offered a man's perspective because I have experienced a couple of women tearing during good, tender and ... (read in full...)
How do I give my ex boyfriend head?
Q. Hiaa.. Well my problem is that i'm really close with my ex-ex-ex boyfriend we havent been together for ages and we have both had a fe relationships since but we have still talked to eachother and anythig we are single at the same time we have ...
A. 13 September 2008: I think that "bibsy" wrote just about the BEST instructions that I have ever read on this subject, and can only wish . . . ... (read in full...)
I'd really like to give my partner a G-spot orgasm, can you give me tips?
Q. i try to keep things interesting with my partner sexually. We have a great time, and are really into things. Some of the ideas we've explored were blended orgasms, "jewel honoring", tantra, and other esoteric ideas... But I was wondering about so...
A. 19 August 2008: The anonymous reader below appears to be promoting commercial products that are unneeded. It is a bogus post to DearCupid.... (read in full...)
I'd really like to give my partner a G-spot orgasm, can you give me tips?
Q. i try to keep things interesting with my partner sexually. We have a great time, and are really into things. Some of the ideas we've explored were blended orgasms, "jewel honoring", tantra, and other esoteric ideas... But I was wondering about so...
A. 18 August 2008: You should think of the G-spot as part of the clitoris and, in fact, all the sensitive parts of the vulva are really extensions of the clitoris. Think of it as a package. You can stimulate both primary areas, the clitoral bud and G-spot, at the same ... (read in full...)
I'd really like to give my partner a G-spot orgasm, can you give me tips?
Q. i try to keep things interesting with my partner sexually. We have a great time, and are really into things. Some of the ideas we've explored were blended orgasms, "jewel honoring", tantra, and other esoteric ideas... But I was wondering about so...
A. 18 August 2008: If you will accept some thoughts from an older man who has some experience, here are some realizations on my part. You apparently would know that this so-called G-spot is located approximately two-three inches or a little more inside the upper wall ... (read in full...)
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