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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I love him as a person but there's no sexual spark!
Q. Is it right to stay with someone who you love very much as a person, but the sexual spark isn't there? I love him and want him to be happy. I know my being with him makes him happy, but he is happy with me just being there. I want so much more, like ...
A. 23 April 2010: Are you sure the sex has slowed down because he feels inadequate? Have you discussed this with him? I feel that in a relationship, when something is wrong, the one partner has the right to bring it up for calm discussion. And that the other person ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend watches cartoon porn, is this normal?
Q. Ok I'm in a weird situation. Both me and my girlfriend are 14 and we both love eachother. We've been going at it for nearly 6 months now. 2 weeks ago she admits to me that she looks at porn. This itself seemed very odd since I don't often hear...
A. 19 April 2010: Oh relax. I watch cartoon porn too. If you have an issue with it you shouldn't have snooped! Why were you looking around for her porn anyways. Yes girls like porn too. If you have a problem with that then find another girl as this one might be too ... (read in full...)
One boob bigger than the other!
Q. Hi, im 16 and im really really self conscious of my breasts. basically ever since i was about 13 they have been really uneven, one at least a cupsize smaller than the other. it never used to bother me, but now ive started getting into more se...
A. 19 April 2010: I say leave them as they are. The only option is surgery. Have you tried the birth control pill? If you are considering sex that would be good in either case, but sometimes they make your boobs grow. Not saying they will grow to be of equal size, ... (read in full...)
Bisexual friends in an awkward situation... How can I help?
Q. dear aunts and uncles.this is a tricky one because its not my problem but the difficulties between 2 of my friends who i love dearly and want to help! one of my best friends (il call her laura for the sake of this) is a closet bisexual. im one...
A. 19 April 2010: No, you shouldn't interfere. But, if you absolutely feel that you must, have you tried talking to Emma and asked her innocently if she likes someone? Test her out by asking if there's any guy she likes? If she says no or is vague, then at least you ... (read in full...)
Would he approve of my dress sense?
Q. I'm in a relationship w/ my bf for a year now. Do you think it's okay for a girl to wear whatever she wants to in a relationship? I know the basics that a girl shouldn't dress all slutty without the bf around, or even at all; BUT I feel like I can't ...
A. 19 April 2010: Wear whatever you want. You can wear slutty clothes as much as you want too! Why not, it's not like guys should touch you just because you look hot, they are responsible for keeping their fingers to themselves. Dress in what YOU feel comfortable ... (read in full...)
He broke up with me because I wanted to talk about what's on his phone
Q. hey. well im 18yrs of age and i've been having a lot of obstacles in my past realtionships. well today my boyfriend and i broke up again all because i wanted to talk about something i seen yesterday in his phone. i wasnt going to fuss or fight about ...
A. 19 April 2010: I think he got upset because he is still cheating. You are better off alone than with him, so be happy you have him out of your life!... (read in full...)
I love him as a person but there's no sexual spark!
Q. Is it right to stay with someone who you love very much as a person, but the sexual spark isn't there? I love him and want him to be happy. I know my being with him makes him happy, but he is happy with me just being there. I want so much more, like ...
A. 19 April 2010: He's not giving you what you want. Have you told him what you want and asked him to go to festivals with you? In a relationship it is actually good for one partner to be more quiet and the other outgoing. It balances the relationship, so that you ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend needs space?
Q. I have been with my bf for 2 1/2 years and currently we live together. He just told me a couple weeks ago that something in our relationship has changed and he thinks he needs space to figure things out. The truth is we had been fighting a lot in ...
A. 19 April 2010: He doesn't want to be with you anymore. It doesnt have to be something you did wrong. It sometimes happens I guess, and he is depressed now. You mentioned there were many other things in his life that made him depressed. I suggest you two split up ... (read in full...)
I've been accused of stalking in the past and I wasn't!
Q. I need some help I've been accused of stalking for about 4years 2 years in middle school and 2 years in high school I swear I have never stalked anyone but it seems like it's every girl I talk to( example: hey how are you, or I don't use hand g...
A. 19 April 2010: They were probably just immature and did you say hi to the same girl many times before she accused you of that? Im guessing they didn't know you that well? So maybe they thought you were weird saying hi when they didn't know you. Im guessing this ... (read in full...)
Snooping in fiancee's facebook account made me discover he cheated!
Q. I recently did a bad thing and snooped in my fiance's facebook account. I read a message in there that said that he had sex with a girl whilst on a boys weekend away. This happened a week after we met (we'd only been on one date) and we weren't ...
A. 19 April 2010: Try and get over it. It was your own fault for snooping and you do not have any right to be upset by this. Just be happy knowing that he played the field, and still you were better than any of the other women. He chose YOU.... (read in full...)
I'm not sure how to react now I have found out my boyfriend masturbates over his ex!
Q. I just unintentionally found out my boy of 3 years (rarely) wanks to the memory of having sex with his ex. (She was his first, and he says he's totally over her - they have no contact) He said it's just a different type of sex, where as we 'mak...
A. 17 April 2010: He's the only one to tell his partner and to do it this obviously. He needs to clean up his act. If he wants to fantasise about her, you don't want to ever know about it. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriends Daughter annoys me and I resent her existence!
Q. I'm 25 and I've been dating my g/f for 5 months now. She got pregnant by some one night stand she didnt know when she was 16 and now has a daughter. I find myself becoming increasingly annoyed with her spoiled five year old daughter. Even resentful. ...
A. 16 April 2010: This is hilarious. But get one thing, her daughter acts this way because her mom lets her! So if you are mad, get mad at the mother, not the 5 year old. Children can be disiplined. But, has the mother concidered ADHD? ... (read in full...)
I woke up to see my boyfriend feeling up my sister!
Q. One nite me my boyfriend of six months and my step sister drank, I could feel something wrong, later that nite we went back to our house watched a movie n I fell asleep, then I woke up to find my my boyfriend feeling up my sister right over me, I ...
A. 16 April 2010: I'd not trust him. He can't keep his fingers to himself even with your sister and you in the same room! Imagine what he can do when you're not around? He doesn't sound that smart when he can't add up two and two, sister+gf in the same room= trouble? ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure how to react now I have found out my boyfriend masturbates over his ex!
Q. I just unintentionally found out my boy of 3 years (rarely) wanks to the memory of having sex with his ex. (She was his first, and he says he's totally over her - they have no contact) He said it's just a different type of sex, where as we 'mak...
A. 16 April 2010: Alright, how did you find out? Did he tell you and does he only imagine her or does he have pictures of her or videos that he uses? If it is just in his head, and he already asked his friend if he does the same, and he told you all innocently, then ... (read in full...)
I need help to heal my heart
Q. I married my husband 6 mos ago after a yr of dating. 3 wks after getting married he got n a trk wreck (hes a trk drvr) well long story short he ended up in a different state for a couple of months on wrkrs comp. his co put him n a hotel there n kept ...
A. 16 April 2010: What he did was very bad, but do not let it reflect on you. You are not a bad person, he is. And there was nothing you did wrong. It sucks, but what happened happened and now you have to focus on what you CAN do, and not hope that your husband will ... (read in full...)
Nasty comments after my brothers death.
Q. When my brother passed away, an ex-friend from childhood came with her family to the funeral home. She gave me a hug and then said, "I'd say let's get together but I'm moving out of the country- so oh well!" with an evil smirk on her face. (Inside ...
A. 16 April 2010: Comfort yourself with knowing that the picture she paints for you to see doesn't have to be anything close to the reality. And in fact she is quite petty when she is still acting like a child and comparing who's "better". Let it go, she is ... (read in full...)
Believeable or Just Another Lie?
Q. Hi, I've been with my boyfriend going on 3yrs. and he use to tell me about his exes and the sexual experiences he's had even once said one of them gave better head than me but this third year in our relationship we got into an extreme argument, you ...
A. 16 April 2010: If I was you I would dump his sorry a## right away. He lied to you for 3 years, and it's not like it was a white innocent lie. He lied right to your face, and to make it worse: he lied to make you feel small and not good enough (the blowjob lie). ... (read in full...)
Should I stay in this or should I leave her?
Q. I have been dating a girl for about 4 months now, when we first started talking she had been in a 4 yr relationship with a guy who she felt wasn't as committed as she was. Well we started talking and next thing you know we were madly in love and not ...
A. 16 April 2010: I think you should be honest with her and say that you do not have those feelings for her anymore. The pregnancy was unplanned and way too early in your relationship for you and her to even know if you were serious with each other or not.
This is h... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was trying to hook up with my friend and now I'm pregnant by him!
Q. wanted to share my experience I'm going through right now.....Well I was with my bf for bout 3 years and onetime brought a friend around him he told me she looked familar and probably a while back tried to get with her so I left it alone.....me and ...
A. 16 April 2010: It is a hard decision, but I think you are making the right one for you. You are doing what you have to do and this man was no good for you. ... (read in full...)
Are we having too much sex?
Q. hey, ok so i guess this isnt a huge deal but me and my boyfriend have been together for about 8 months. im 17 hes 21. every single time we see each other we have sex, at least 3 times too, we see each other about 3-4 times a week, is this too much? ...
A. 16 April 2010: Do you enjoy it? If so just carry on. People have different sex drives and perhaps the two of you are a good match of equally high sex drive. There's no one who can say how much is too much. Only you decide. If it's so much that it keeps you up all ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has started to sleep on the couch instead of in bed with me!
Q. I have a concern about my relationship with my boyfriend. We been involved for four years now, we do live together. I have a problem with him when he sleeps on the couch instead in the bed with me. He has done this in the past with another ...
A. 16 April 2010: If he tells you not to worry could there be a reason for why he sleeps on the couch that has nothing to do with fighting? Or does he only sleep on the couch after a fight? Im saying maybe the couch is more comfortable for him, maybe you snore or he ... (read in full...)
He wont marry me!
Q. So, I've been with my BF for 4 years now. We lived together for 2 years and now I bought a house and i live there by myself because I only want him to live there with me once we're emarried. Right, married. Whenever I bring the marriage issue up he ...
A. 16 April 2010: You want to be married right? After 4 years I think one would know whether or not ones partner is marriage material or not. You want to marry him. He doesn't want to marry you. There you have it. If you are unsure whether or not this is his final ... (read in full...)
Teenage Pregnancy
Q. Its like a taboo subject isnt it. A lot of people judge teenages who fall pregnant, i know this all too well. I was at the tender age of 15 when i had my first daughter then caught on again at 17 and had my second daughter. The remarks you get the ...
A. 16 April 2010: Alright, Im not a teenage mom, but here's what I think. I think most tenagers who get pregnant do it out of stupidity. There really is no way to "accidentally" become pregnant. There's that one in a million chance, but most of the teenagers I know ... (read in full...)
Why do I keep cheating on my boyfriend?
Q. I keep cheating on my boyfriend. It's as simple as that. I feel like crap, it's happened twice and i've told him twice. The real problem is that I keep flirting and looking for more outside attention. Me and him don't spend very much time together ...
A. 16 April 2010: Learn to control yourself and set boundaries for yourself. Just because you CAN do someting doesn't mean you CAN'T. You are fully capable of thinking twice and you know the difference between right and wrong. There's really no excuse. If you don't ... (read in full...)
Am I the bad guy for not wanting these people as guests?
Q. Hello. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost two years and living together for almost one year. Today she asked me if it is OK for her son and her X brother n law to come stay the weekend with us. I was totally shocked she aske...
A. 16 April 2010: Has he ever visited before? I say he deserves one honest chance at not being judged before you know him. If he's never come over before and you never really met the guy, why not give him the chance. It's not like the brother is her x, he's the x's ... (read in full...)
The sex I've had in the past upsets her.
Q. My girlfriend makes me feel bad constantly about the number of sexual partners I have had. I have been with seven other women. I don't think that's a high number. I had sex with seven different women but I only had sex, get this seven times. ...
A. 16 April 2010: Hmm, this sounds familiar. It's called insecurity and if you don't mind me saying, flat out rubbish. She needs to give you a huge break, you have done nothing wrong. If she can't respect you over this then that says a lot more about her than it says ... (read in full...)
Why do guys take so long to call you back?
Q. why do guys take so long to call back? If they don't call after 3 days dose that mean they lost interest?...
A. 16 April 2010: If a guy asked for my number and showed interest in me, usually he will call the following day if not even later that same day. So if I had to wait for a guy to call me I'd pretty much not think much of him or take him seriously. I mean once he does ... (read in full...)
Why is NOT wearing a bra so important to my husband?
Q. Whenever I am away from work, and I am talking nights, weekends, and vacations, my husband insists that I don't wear a bra. I thought you had to be 18 and/or flat chested to do that. Being 31 and having a full bosom, I have been worried that my ...
A. 15 April 2010: You are allowed to wear a bra... But your husband loves to see your breasts loose and free and ready for a grab. You said yourself, he loves to see them bounce. But perhaps you can wear a bra when you are in the company of others, not everyone ... (read in full...)
15, don't like the life I live, and want a baby
Q. I am 15 years old and want a baby. I do not beleive i am completely ready to have a baby, but what parent is? I have recently moved away from all my family and friends due to my parents divorce. Having parents that were together was really diffacult ...
A. 15 April 2010: My parents aren't married and split up when I was 3. They still fought a lot. So there goes your argument for not getting married. Parents who want to fight will always fight whether they are together or not. And growing up having to listen to both ... (read in full...)
Could an unrequited love be your soul mate?
Q. Hey, I was just wondering what people thought about soul mates. Do you think it's possible for an unrequited love to be your soul mate, even if he/she has a different soul mate they found first? I like to believe evryone has ONE soul mate, but ...
A. 15 April 2010: If you had just ONE what will you do if he died before you...
I dont believe in just one. But I do believe that true love can only be between two people who both love the other, and that that is how love grows. So that when you say you love them... (read in full...)
Friend is complaining about the hair style I gave her
Q. Hi, I don't know if anyone will respond to my post but I just feel so angry! Back in January a girl I used to work with asked me to cut her hair (I had qualified in July as a level 2 in hairdressing ). Now I had cut her hair once before and she...
A. 15 April 2010: Ignore her then. If she didnt complain to you right away she had no right to complain later. Thats how it works in the salons I've gone to anyways. And for the future, do not accept jobs where you are not offered proper working conditions. Just say ... (read in full...)
I love her but she's worried about what people would say
Q. Hello everyone, am jus writing coz i really need sum advice and hope you can help me. I'm an 19 year old lad who recently has been seein a 34 year old woman for the past two months. I have known her for about three months and i first met her when i ...
A. 15 April 2010: Slow things down a little, this isnt a teenage romance. And this woman has baggage, past seriosu relationships, children.. and then there's the age issue. Things shouldn't be rushed, and you are already falling hard for her. This might be what ... (read in full...)
Can I have the baby blues even though the baby is not born yet?
Q. I am five months pregnant and i am terrified of being a parent (single parent at that). I love the little one but at the same time i don't want it - i want to run to the hills screaming my head off a way from the responcibilities and hardships and ...
A. 15 April 2010: Well, I believe I'd feel the same way as you. I always wanted to have a child since the teenages (never tried to get one as a teen btw), but even how much Ive wanted one and still want to be a mother... There were a few times where I missed the pill ... (read in full...)
Space and breakup!
Q. well my girlfriend recently told me that she wanted a break. we have been together for almost two years now. she called me after she said this and said that she thinks we most likely will be together at the end of the break. she wants a two week ...
A. 15 April 2010: If this is what she needs then try and respect that. It is tough on you, but hang in there. Breaks dont work for everyone, but for some I believe it could. Perhaps its whats best for the two of you right now. When the break is over, have a very ... (read in full...)
Have I lost interest in sex?
Q. Something strange has happened to me, after a strange first relationship at 16 I ended up celibate for a year BUT now I have no sex drive and I find sex a chore, argh!! Have I lost interest in sex (i still enjoy the emotional aspet)...
A. 15 April 2010: Hard to say. I like to blame hormones for everything though. So yes it could be just hormones playing a trick on you. Or you went without for so long that you got used to it and don't think its bad to go without. I definitely think that this ... (read in full...)
What is normal...how much is too much
Q. Quick question, is it normal for a guy to call his girlfriend of 3 weeks, 10 times in 23 hours for a chat, lasting between 4 mins to 1 hour at a time? ...
A. 15 April 2010: Over the top. But he sounds like he is just crazy about his girl. So unless you have a problem with it relax, it will slow down with time. Right now he's just overwhelmed that he actually has you as his girlfriend and want to cling to you 24/7. This ... (read in full...)
He never exactly said it, but he didnt correcj me. When is a gray area considered lying...and does it indicate a pattern of deceit?
Q. Do you think if a guy lies about what he does for a living it says something more about himself? Do you think he's lying about other things? Or he's just a liar in general? The weird thing is, that he hasn't technically lied about his work. ...
A. 15 April 2010: He's a scam and trying to be someone else than he is. I wouldn't trust him. In fact I find it hard to trust people who let me go ahead and assume things without correcting me. Makes me think that things are okay when they in fact are not okay at ... (read in full...)
Help! I think I'm bi. How do I only think about girls?
Q. help! i think im bi. i think about guys and girls but i only wanna thik about girls. help! ...
A. 14 April 2010: don't worry, thinking about guys too is fine. you might be bisexual, but if you are uncomfortable with letting anyone know, or being with a guy, just keep it to yourself. but accept who you are because if you really are bi you will always be ... (read in full...)
Why did he betray me in front of the judge?
Q. Im going to clarify my question. me and the "Kid" went to court and yes he is my boyfriend still. and when they asked me if i had any contact with him since the previous court date, i told them no, then he told them that i was lying and that i wrote ...
A. 14 April 2010: So your boyfriend is older than you and has been told not to come near you? You do realize that he can get punished if he is not being honest in court? As well as already having a restraining order on him? He is being mature and honest. Its whats ... (read in full...)
Dreams about a 27 year old? I'm 14!
Q. I'm 14 years old but I recently have been having dreams about my track coach and in these dreams we kiss alot no sex but just kissing and he is 27! I don't now what to do!...
A. 14 April 2010: Im 24 and I've been having sexual dreams about my 60-something year old professor... and he is definitely not what I'd call sexy. My point is, this is probably innocent and you dream all kinds of things. Doesn't mean you are physically attracted to ... (read in full...)
Update: I'm still hurting and need her to know without forcing it upon her.
Q. Hey people long time no see, Well its been a week since the Big Drama between me and my girlfriend. The people who have been following know the deal. But anyway later on that night I called her back after many phone calls she made to me and s...
A. 14 April 2010: Hi, I hope I can answer your questions without reading the other posts. Because really, what it seems to be coming down to now is that you feel the need to slow things down and not rush back into just being together again as if nothing happened. ... (read in full...)
I love her but she slept with so many men
Q. I was dating someone a couple years ago that I cared very deeply for. We were having a great time together. During the time we were together she was sexually assaulted by someone she knew. She didn't go to the police or tell anyone for months. ...
A. 14 April 2010: Oh wow. This is a tough one. People who have been abused sexually often go around the block afterwards, I must tell you that. Just so you are aware that what she did was a result of what happened to her, and her not getting counceling. I am glad for ... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
