Feeling shattered. Two days ago I saw my wife cheating with another man. What can I do?
Q. I caught my wife having sex with another man. She says it was the first time she did this, but she did him with me just 30 feet away and right out in the open when i saw them. He says it was flirting that got out of hand. She says she don't...
A. 5 May 2016: There is nothing stopping you from leaving her. What is the point living your life in such misery? You choose to forgive her therefore yes she will think she can get away with having sex with other men. Time to leave, and look after yourself. If she ... (read in full...)
Years ago a guy was found not guilty of harming me. It divided the community. Does it matter that I get few birthday cards now?
Q. I've gotten in to a massive argument with my boyfriend and I don't know what to do. A few years ago I was raped and it went to trial but the guy was found not guilty. I live in a really small town and the man who did it was my best friends boyf...
A. 18 December 2015: I am sorry that you have had to go through this, I don't think people in your town are taking sides, I think the problem here is you have isolated yourself so that you can protect yourself from these people. It can be hard to trust people after ... (read in full...)
How we can combat these problems? We love each other very much.
Q. My partner and I have been together for a year. Both of us have had very bad experiences in previous relationships. My ex husband lied to me a lot and treated me very badly. My partners ex's were unfaithful. The problem in our relationship ste...
A. 18 December 2015: My advice is if the past is causing problems in this relationship then maybe the best thing that you can both do is get some relationship counselling.
You both have not dealt with the past by reading your post and this means that you are both taki... (read in full...)
I'm concerned the impression I'll make on our first date!
Q. I have started talking to a guy on-line and we are planning to meet for the first time tomorrow. I am not too confident about my physical appearance as I have lost about 30kg over the years, but now at an average size. I am big busted and the weight ...
A. 18 December 2015: You asked him a question and he answered you as truthfully as he could so try not to take this personally. To him these are things that are unattractive to him. However he is going to meet you as a person not just a pair of boobs. Give him a chance, ... (read in full...)
Feeling shattered. Two days ago I saw my wife cheating with another man. What can I do?
Q. I caught my wife having sex with another man. She says it was the first time she did this, but she did him with me just 30 feet away and right out in the open when i saw them. He says it was flirting that got out of hand. She says she don't...
A. 17 December 2015: Leave her, explain to your daughter that mummy and daddy still love her but that they will be living separate. Also if she is addicted to painkillers then maybe she should not be left with your daughter, this is something to discuss with a social ... (read in full...)
Don't know if I can forgive his lies. If you imagine yourself in my position, what would you do?
Q. Hi, I have been in what I considered to be a good relationship with a very kind, loving man for the past 5 years, living together for the past year. Last week I found out that he has been lying to me about his career since we met. He told ...
A. 17 December 2015: I can understand when you first began dating maybe he wanted to impress you by telling you that he also was a physio, but baffles me though is why he felt the need to keep up the pretense for so long. We can only advice you what to do here, you need ... (read in full...)
Any chance of fixing something this broken?
Q. I started speaking to a girl over the summer as we were living in the same university halls, we got on really well and connected instantly. we spoke everyday and she even mentioned that it took me ages to reply. we met up when we both had moved in...
A. 17 December 2015: I honestly think you need to leave her alone. You tried to contact her, you wrote her a letter, she made excuses not to go on the date and didn't reply. This tells you that she is not interested in a relationship with you. You need to accept this ... (read in full...)
We've been on 5 or 6 dates but he still won't add me to Facebook
Q. I've been on about 5-6 dates with this guy who I met on online dating. At the moment it seems to be going really well. He makes the most to see me in his spare time, even if he has other plans, he'll try and fit in seeing me.. He's taken me on lo...
A. 17 December 2015: Keep dating him, and keep getting to know him, this should be more important than getting to know him on FB.... (read in full...)
He says we can't date one another but then acts as if we are
Q. So long story short, after getting coffee he told me he couldn't date as he only dates Christian girls. Forward two months later and he's acting like we're a couple in everyway. I've been overseas for a month but he's messaging me everyday, say...
A. 17 December 2015: It seems he feels like he has got some hold over you, he doesn't want you to be with other men but his long term goal is to find a Christian woman to be with, you are not this, so please do not waste your time. ... (read in full...)
My friends are all settling down but I am still single
Q. I feel like I will never find a boyfriend, most of my friends are now settling down into relationships and I feel like the odd one out. I am in my early 20s and feel like I will never find someone to love. I have only ever been in one relationship ...
A. 17 December 2015: Don't rush in to a relationship, you are still young. Enjoy being single, go out make new friends, take up new hobbies, meet new people. Are their things you always wanted to try? Well now is the time to do those things.
I bet if you speak to peop... (read in full...)
We've been dating since October and he says he's already in love with me
Q. Hi, so I've been dating this guy since October so officially gf and bf most recently he has said " he thinks he started to love me" my question is can a guy develop these feelings for a girl within the course of two months? What am I suppose to ...
A. 17 December 2015: Off course people can develop these feelings after two months, then depending how the relationship goes it can either grow stronger or it can fade. Give the guy a chance, its great he is being open about his feelings for you.... (read in full...)
Is the first year of marriage this tough? I feel like I am failing.
Q. I'm 7 mths into my marriage and feel like I'm failing. My expectations for the kind of marriage i want is gone and i need your help seasoned couples. Something is wrong and i need to fix it. First i need to know if im tripping about what i consi...
A. 17 December 2015: Get him to cook you a nice meal for a change, your spending your time trying to be a good wife to him, but who is looking out for you? If he is not telling these girls he is married then their is something wrong here. Do not accept this behavior, he ... (read in full...)
Is my Bf becoming too needy?
Q. I've been in an off again on again relationship for over half a year now. Honestly, I am getting tired of this. If I refuse to spend time with him and instead spend time with my friends, he gets very angry. He'll give me dirty looks and tell m...
A. 17 December 2015: If you are not comfortable sitting close to him then don't do it, tell him the truth and if he gets angry over it then he doesn't care about you really he just cares about the idea of having a girlfriend.
At your age you should have a healthy bala... (read in full...)
The distance is making me paranoid
Q. So I have been dating this guy for a short time - October 2015. He is wonderful, and we are completely taken with each other, the only trouble is, I live in the UK and he in the US and the distance is really hard. Not only is the distance ...
A. 17 December 2015: You have both being seeing each other a very short time, and with such a distance between you both I have to ask how long have you actually spent quality time together in the same room?
If you are in a LDR then you need to talk about future plan... (read in full...)
I'd like some tips on how to make our MFM amazing
Q. Me and my gf arranged theeesome with another guy our age, she can be naughty at times. Any advice? We have been together three years and a friend is going to join in. It really turns me on involving another guy. Any tips to make it amazing? I'm 25 ...
A. 17 December 2015: My advice to you would be are you sure you are ready for this. I have saw so many relationships go wrong once they have invited a third person in to their bed.
Many things could go wrong, you could get jealous of your GF and friend. Also she may ... (read in full...)
Is there a possible reason? He's become more affectionate recently
Q. My BF of over 3 years had really ramped up the affection recently. He's not the type to talk about feelings AT ALL. He's a very rational and confident person. Last few weeks though he has been so affectionate that it's thrown me! He's almost beco...
A. 15 December 2015: Maybe he needs to be told back how much you love him. If he is being needy or clingy and he has never been like this in the three years, well then maybe you should talk to him about the sudden changes. ... (read in full...)
She said sorry about the 3 way kiss, but what should I do? I'm pretty angry
Q. My girlfriend who I love a lot was out the other night with me and was really drunk and did a threeway kiss with her friend who was a girl and the friends boyfriend. what should i do? she has said sorry and is upset but what should I do im pretty ...
A. 15 December 2015: You are right to be angry, this is still cheating. If you want to forgive her then I think she needs to earn your trust back. First off you say she was pretty drunk, this is still not an excuse, but maybe she can start making it up to you by staying ... (read in full...)
Thinking about going to a sex therapist, or sex counsellor. Will it work? Is it worth this effort?
Q. Dear Cupid It's embarrassing to even say it but i completely suck when it comes to sex, I can't do anything. Had two long relationship, one with ex bf who didn't care much and we hardly had any and everytime I just lie down and he will do his job ...
A. 15 December 2015: I honestly think the best thing to do is just go and have fun with the guy, you don't see it as turning in to a serious relationship so just relax and enjoy the experience. I think everyone has concerns when they are being intimate with people, but ... (read in full...)
What are signs that someone likes you? I think he likes me
Q. I'm 17, and I've never had a boyfriend or girlfriend. This doesn't bother me in the slightest because I'm not an innately sexual person or someone who displays feelings well. I've never asked out anybody that I've really fancied for fear of reje...
A. 15 December 2015: The biggest sign is the gut feeling that you have in your stomach. All the basic signs are there that he likes you, now you just need to show him signs that you like him and hopefully the future will hold good things.... (read in full...)
How do I address the lack of sex and intimacy in our marriage?
Q. So I am living in a situation and I will give as much detail as possible so everyone will know how to address it and thank you beforehand I will appreciate the advice. Me and my wife have been married for almost 4 years in fact it will be 4 yea...
A. 15 December 2015: You need to be honest with her, I can understand why you wouldn't want to divorce her when you both have such a young daughter, but if you are both unhappy your daughter will pick up on these feelings. Be honest with your wife, tell her how unhappy ... (read in full...)
I told my partner I cared for him very much and he said thanks. Am I expecting too much?
Q. After making love i told my partner of 5 months that i care about him a lot....he just said aww thank you? I hoped he would have said similar but he just hugged me. I am 63,...he is 50. am i hoping for too much. We see each other 4 or 5 times a w...
A. 15 December 2015: Yes you do need to talk to him, if you are not feeling that he likes you the same way that you like him then there usually is no smoke without fire, I wish you luck, if you ever need someone to talk to I am here.... (read in full...)
Do I give it a chance?
Q. I met this guy online just over a month ago. From the start he was very intense, touchy feely not in a player way but a needy way. This was a turn off for me, which I told him. He acknowledges that but was still persistent to get to know me. I’m on...
A. 11 December 2015: I agree, ask him to take things slowly, tell him you like him but don't want to rush in to anything, maybe both agree not to date other people for a while and give yourselves a chance to see if there is something their between you both, hope you get ... (read in full...)
Should I pursue??? Am I being used ?? Does he just need a green card?
Q. I met a guy at a wedding we danced talked and go each others number then he went to were he was visiting which is 7 hours away. And hes here on a visa which means he only has about a month left but i cant go see him but hes trying to come down soon. ...
A. 11 December 2015: Okay you have met only once so I think take things slowly and get to know him. If he wants a green card then you will soon know about it.
Get to know him and see how he treats you, don't rush in to anything to serious just get to know who he is a... (read in full...)
I'm at a loss as to which LDR to choose! Advice?
Q. Hello...um..My name is Lauren, I am 18 And I am currently "Dating" two guys.. Oh but they are both long distance.. And I don't know what to do, because one is J (8 hours away,23) And the other one is R (13 hours away,18). I love them both..but is...
A. 11 December 2015: You won't be able to choose between both off them until you meet them both in person and get to know them face to face. People can often hide behind computers and not be who they really are. You are still young, so enjoy life, get out more with ... (read in full...)
Is pregnancy the reason for my indecision over this marriage proposal? Or are my concerns valid?
Q. My boyfriend asked me to marry him last Christmas and although I said yes at the time, I broke it off in February when I found out he had been talking to other girls online. I agreed to stay if he was open and honest about everything that went on, ...
A. 11 December 2015: You have turned him down twice now, both times with good reason, writing to other girls is just another form off cheating, it might not be physical but the intention is their. So you should wait until you are completely sure he has changed and that ... (read in full...)
After ages of friendship, he suddenly acts like I'm a stranger! Title
Q. I've liked a guy for almost six years now, and back when I first started liking him he was a total stranger. But I've always been able to "sense" who people really were when I first saw them, not based on appearance but instead on aura, and I felt ...
A. 11 December 2015: Some men don't think about the little details like oh she is good at art, or she doesn't like socializing so they will say things without realizing it. Don't worry about it to much am pretty sure he has not forgotten who you are, its more that he ... (read in full...)
Please help me find a way to ask him out
Q. Hi agony aunts, my question seems really silly but I seriously am clueless about approaching a crush and getting to know him better, and well anything that has to do with relationships honestly. Basically I am a senior in highschool and I have a co...
A. 11 December 2015: I can see how daunting it could be to ask him for his number. You say you have cheeky conversations, so maybe slip it in to one of them, when he says something to you maybe laugh it off and say aw well if only I had your phone number I could tell ... (read in full...)
I'm stuck between holding on and giving up on this relationship!
Q. my bf and i been dating fo six months now...we have known each other since last year feb but never dated...so when i finaly gave him a chance,we were like the it couple,i fell totaly inlove with him and didnt take me long to stop seeing or flirting ...
A. 11 December 2015: You have both moved very quick in this relationship, seeing each other for six months is not very long and things have moved very quickly. Sounds to me like he has gotten cold feet, he is probably scared about being a father and doesn't know what to ... (read in full...)
I am not sure what happened at the party but I'm worried about being drunk and cheating
Q. About 6 weeks ago I went to an 18th with my boyfriend who I've been with for one year and love so dearly! I would never hurt him or cheat on him and these are my 2 biggest fears. I also have a big fear of ever losing him. The thought of it kills me ...
A. 11 December 2015: I think deep down you know yourself that you just drank to much and that you have memories off running up and kissing someone else. Stop blaming other people and take the responsibility yourself. Tell your boyfriend what happened, don't blame other ... (read in full...)
I have never loved anyone like I love my ex. What does he want from me?
Q. Alright, so here's the scoop. My ex boyfriend and I broke up in 2014ish around there. After we broke up we kept talking off and on for like 4-6 months. In that time he never dated anyone else and I had a new rebound boyfriend. Everytime I woul...
A. 11 December 2015: I understand that you love him, but you need to give yourself time to heal and the only way off doing this is to block him from all social media and have no contact. I have a feeling you are not going to do this but that's what I suggest if you want ... (read in full...)
Do I talk to my boyfriend about his following these girls on Instagram?
Q. Hi all I'm a 16 year old girl. I've been in a relationship for 2 weeks now and I really adore my boyfriend. He compliments me constantly and is so sweet he makes me feel so special. This morning I noticed that he had started following a page on ...
A. 11 December 2015: At your age it is normal for you to feel upset, you are developing in to a woman and for a lot of people that brings out a lot of insecurities. I bet when you see these pictures it makes you feel even more insecure. It is perfectly normal to feel ... (read in full...)
I can go hours without hearing from my girlfriend and I don't know what has made her start acting like this
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together two years and live together, she is a very chatty person and used to text me all the time about her day and just general chit chat. Lately she goes to her friends or family and it's like she has dropped off the ...
A. 11 December 2015: You both live together at the moment, so am guessing you spend a lot of time together, I know that you are concerned as it is out of character, maybe she is just feeling like some time away from your relationship where she can just talk to friends ... (read in full...)
Our relationship doesn't seem to be progressing much, should I be worried?
Q. My partner of nearly five months is very generous and caring but the niggle i have is that he wont accept me as a friend on facebook and will not stay the night at my house. His ex is a friend on fb and i wonder if he doesnt want her to know he has ...
A. 11 December 2015: Have you been introduced to his family and friends or was it just his mother? If it was me I would be concerned why he wont stay overnight, to me that's strange, also if he is not accepting you as a friend on fb, that reads to me that he does not ... (read in full...)
What does it mean, that he lied about where he'd been and then had trouble with keeping it up?
Q. My husband usually doesn't have a problem keeping it up or cunning. He always watches open and today lies about where he went and tonight he couldn't keep it up nor could he cum. What does this mean and what should I do? ...
A. 11 December 2015: Only your husband knows what this means. It could be a number of reasons, maybe he is stressed or worried about something. If it is worrying you then talk to him about it and ask him why he lied to you. There needs to be honesty in a marriage. ... (read in full...)
Have others experienced the same challenges in a Lesbian relationship?
Q. Hi there! I hope someone on here can help me decide how to approach the situation I'm in - thanks in advance! Throughout my life I've always liked both men and women. I've been with girls, but the more serious relationships have always been w...
A. 11 December 2015: If you are both in a relationship then you both should be at a level where you can talk about these things. If you do not want to address it head on and make her feel like she is being cornered well then maybe suggest that you both should spice up ... (read in full...)
Why am I so desperate in dating?
Q. Dear Cupid I am out of a long relationship, love was dead long back between us, he abused me emotionally for so long, I lost what I felt for him and it was a mutual breakup. I found a guy in dating site, he likes 2 hrs drive from me, he lo...
A. 11 December 2015: You might no that you are a good catch but if your ex emotionally damaged you then that does not go away. I guess you need to feel needed with a guy, maybe you have lost trust in men at the minute.
I feel that instead of you rushing in to anot... (read in full...)
Is he into me or does he just want sex?
Q. Ok so i'm sort of seeing this guy. We went to high school together and maybe 6 months ago I ran into him at a bar while I was out with my friends. I didn't recognize him, my friend did. We called him over to our table and we caught up. I asked if he ...
A. 11 December 2015: It sounds to me like he just wants to get in to your pants, he doesn't make a huge effort to wine and dine you, he just keeps inviting you to his house. I think he feels that he will get in to your pants with some work. If he was interested in you ... (read in full...)
I told my partner I cared for him very much and he said thanks. Am I expecting too much?
Q. After making love i told my partner of 5 months that i care about him a lot....he just said aww thank you? I hoped he would have said similar but he just hugged me. I am 63,...he is 50. am i hoping for too much. We see each other 4 or 5 times a w...
A. 11 December 2015: No I don't think you are expecting to much, everyone has needs that need to be met if they want to be in a happy relationship. You need to talk to him and ask him how he feels you are both going and what can he see in the future.... (read in full...)
Is marriage really necessary? But sex is necessary for our continuity.
Q. I am not an anti marriage advocate. Infact, I route for it. But then one thinks is marriage really necessary. Afterall, marriage is not necessary for our continuity on this earth, it's sex and reproduction. The reason for asking this is because ...
A. 11 December 2015: I don't judge people on if they are married or if they are not, most people have lost faith in marriage for multiple reasons. However in my opinion I feel that marriage can be important, to create a family it is nice to have a family home, all ... (read in full...)
Getting guys' attention--do they like me for looks or personality?
Q. So lately I've noticed that my behavior has been odd. I wasn't that type of girl who likes attention from guys since i was very shy. But i worked on my self esteem 2 years ago, and now I'm a very outgoing, confident and a loud person BUT who likes ...
A. 11 December 2015: Okay first off at your age it is perfectly normal to want guys attention, their is no harm in flirting if you are not putting yourself in any danger. Just make sure that you don't take needing attention to far and that you still have time for your ... (read in full...)
How do I address the lack of sex and intimacy in our marriage?
Q. So I am living in a situation and I will give as much detail as possible so everyone will know how to address it and thank you beforehand I will appreciate the advice. Me and my wife have been married for almost 4 years in fact it will be 4 yea...
A. 11 December 2015: First off well done in acknowledging that their is a problem in your marriage and also please do not go and have an affair this would only make life much more complicated. I am well aware men have needs but so do women.
I am going to begin my advi... (read in full...)
She is starting to make me feel unsettled! What should I do?
Q. My ex girlfriend and I have ended our 5 year relationship. We are lesbians and the breakup resulted from her lies and cheating. Anyways that was well over 6 months ago. I have not backpeddle. Shes consistently contacted me. I ignored her. I thiught ...
A. 11 December 2015: An ex is an ex for a reason. Yes in an ideal situation it would be lovely to be able to have a friendship with each other as you both have shared so much, however this is just not possible, when exes try to become friends old feelings appear and it ... (read in full...)
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