Does a cheater cheat on everybody they are with and are they always cheating with multiple partners at once?
Q. Everybody always says cheaters are cheaters and will cheat on everybody they are with. Like it's gospel. So if you are with a man who has cheated on a partner in the past, it seems to be guaranteed he will do the same to you. Is this right? A...
A. 8 January 2016: It can be hard to trust someone who cheats on there partner. For argument sake, lets say you where seeing a man who was taking. You may start developing feelings for him, which is tough, but then also you made the decision to start an affair with a ... (read in full...)
She lies to me all the time so how can I trust her?
Q. I have been with an older woman for two years and she has continuously lied to me during that time, pretty relevant stuff at the beginning like who she is seeing, spending time with etc. but as time has gone on we have gotten over that but now it is ...
A. 8 January 2016: She may not have cheated on you, but off course you are not going to trust someone who keeps lying to you. You need to sit her down and make her realize that this behavior is unacceptable, tell her this is her last chance she needs to start being ... (read in full...)
I am at the end of my rope and struggling with health and family problems.
Q. This isn't about a romantic relationship, but I am at the end of my rope. I desperately need help but I am petrified because it seems hopeless. Let me preface this by saying that I had an emergency surgery a few days ago... I am heavily medicate...
A. 7 January 2016: You need to take control of your life, you have in your end that your life is doomed so you won't fight for it to be good. You need to start thinking positively. Your mum may not always be there to comfort you so you need to learn to look after ... (read in full...)
How do I handle this? I walked in on my boyfriend while he was masturbating
Q. My bf has a key to my apartment. When he works nights, he likes to sleep in my apartment during the day because my apartment is quiet, and his apartment is often noisy during the day and he has trouble sleeping in his place. Recently, I got...
A. 7 January 2016: I don't think you need to talk to him about it, its pretty normal, he is young and he was obviously aroused. Nothing to worry about. ... (read in full...)
Was my hair an issue? Or another woman? Did he have a valid reason for not wanting to sleep with me?
Q. I had a big argument with my boyfriend just before Christmas and we ended up not seeing each other for two weeks. Whenever I'm seeing him or I'm around him a lot I make sure that I shave my pubic hair off because he doesn't like it. But because ...
A. 7 January 2016: Yeah he sounds like he is making excuses, my guess is he is seeing someone else. ... (read in full...)
The appearance bothers me. Could someone give me some advice to stop me overthinking about this?
Q. Hi all, in a 16 year old girl in my first relationship looking for advice. We've been together 3 months now and I really like him and he worships the ground I walk on, he's 17 going on 18 and he's been in a few previous relationships but only had...
A. 7 January 2016: Off course you are worried, its common to worry about these things when they are new to us, but please believe me this is normal. There is no one way a vagina should look, they have lots of different looks. Believe me when I say plenty of girls have ... (read in full...)
Why? there is no intimacy. Partner has completely lost interest in sex
Q. since the birth of our daughter almost 4 years ago, my partner (early 40's) has completely lost interest in sex and any intimate connection is now non existent, we never hug, kiss or even snuggle, she admits that she has no interest in sex since ...
A. 7 January 2016: Sex is a need in a relationship to keep it alive, if you are being neglected well then off course you are going to be frustrated. Four years is a long time and it sounds to me like the spark is just not there anymore between you both. If she refuses ... (read in full...)
Dating steps. When is it right to hold a girl's hand or kiss her when dating?
Q. I'm a straight guy with little romantic experience: I've been on two first dates and have kissed but am still a virgin. I've been happy to focus on my studies at university and indulging on my interests and hobbies. I've always had an open mind...
A. 7 January 2016: Do you have any female friends or role models you can talk to about this?
I wouldn't worry to much about kissing or holding hands, there has to be a connection between you and a date first so therefore I suggest that you concentrate more on conv... (read in full...)
Help? Who do I chose? My ex or my child's father?
Q. I met up with an ex boyfriend last year July having not seen him for over 15 years. It was magical and he made he feel so good. WE dated a few times and he even came to my works xmas party. That's the last time I saw him. We had a good ni...
A. 7 January 2016: Only you can decide who is right for you. You need to ask yourself do you love the father of your child and can you see a future between you both? Sharing a child is not a good enough reason to be in a relationship.
As for your ex, to me it soun... (read in full...)
Is there any way to make this work and make everyone see I won't screw this up again?
Q. when I was in my early 20s I did a lot of dumb stuff, I got into drugs, drank way to much and partying became my only concern. I dropped out of university and bounce from one dead end job to another but I was happy with the partying life style. I ...
A. 7 January 2016: Put yourself in there shoes, say now you have a daughter with this woman and she grows up and some man has drug issues and cheats on her, am sure you would be the same as her family, as everybody wants the best for there children. Just try and be ... (read in full...)
Has my husband lost interest in me? Does he want out? Do I want out?
Q. I have already posted a few times, asking for advice on opinions and your comments were always on point. This time it’s not about my friends or relatives, it’s about my husband. I think that he’s losing interest in me or that he finally realized...
A. 6 January 2016: What a horrible way to talk to his wife. Shame on him. It seems to me like he wants to put you down, make you feel fat and unworthy. There could be a few reasons for this, maybe he is trying to end the relationship so he decided it would be easier ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to make this work and make everyone see I won't screw this up again?
Q. when I was in my early 20s I did a lot of dumb stuff, I got into drugs, drank way to much and partying became my only concern. I dropped out of university and bounce from one dead end job to another but I was happy with the partying life style. I ...
A. 6 January 2016: It is just going to take time for people to trust you again, including your girlfriend. There may always be doubt in her mind because you have done this once. Just keep showing her how loyal you are, and hopefully in time people will see that you ... (read in full...)
I know I should forget him but we are in te same friendship groups.
Q. things have been a rollercoaster between my ex and I. We've been messaging flirty for a week then an argument for a week then the cycle repeats itself. I find myself to be caring more than he does. We then decided to stop flirting and be friends, ...
A. 6 January 2016: I think he can see that you need a bit more time than him to heal from this relationship, therefore he is saying he wants nothing to do with you so you will get over him.
You need distance, you can't just be friends with an ex there are two many... (read in full...)
Is online dating for the sake of companionship unhealthy?
Q. After college I have lived in my home town for about 18 months now. It's a great place to work and I like it, but there are not a lot of young people. I've been forcing myself to go to events and branch out. I know that it will take some time, but ...
A. 6 January 2016: My friend found love on tinder, two years later and they are still together. Its worth a shot, yes many dating sites you will find men on it who are only looking for some fun, if you spell out your intentions, you never know who you may find. Good ... (read in full...)
Should I go with my girlfriend to the party and then break up?
Q. So i have a girlfriend but she is going to study abroad so we decided that we should brake up and stay as friends because long distance relationships dont usually work and we really want to stay as friends at least. We also decided that we wanted to ...
A. 6 January 2016: Make her stay with you for the day? To me that sounds selfish, she should go to the dinner, you should go to, but if you don't want to then let her go on her own. Breaking up is not easy but it shouldn't be about you both spending the full day ... (read in full...)
Why does my hubby only last 5 minutes now?
Q. Question... Im 24 hubby 31 1 yr ago when we got married he would last 45 to 1 hr now he cumes in about 5 mins... He can hold it but the longer he holds it i feel he looses his "stiffness" Why did things change? I had never orgasmed and didnt kno...
A. 6 January 2016: 5 minutes of sexual intercourse is actually quite average. New statistics show that half of men ejaculate after two minutes.
Okay so he used to be able to hold off as long as he could, but now if he does that he looses some of his stiffness. Swee... (read in full...)
I am worried I may leave my children motherless.
Q. I am 5 weeks pregnant - 35 years old - just found out. Bf who I have had 2 other kids by (2 boys) - this would be my 3rd kid with him - so making it 4 kids in total is not really reacting much to the news. He was shocked at first but is leaving it ...
A. 6 January 2016: First off I am sorry that you have an un-supportive boyfriend, does he show any emotion at all? Do you feel all love is gone? Sit and talk to him about your future, you both need to be honest with each other about what the future holds. So sit down ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to make this work and make everyone see I won't screw this up again?
Q. when I was in my early 20s I did a lot of dumb stuff, I got into drugs, drank way to much and partying became my only concern. I dropped out of university and bounce from one dead end job to another but I was happy with the partying life style. I ...
A. 6 January 2016: At this moment nothing is going to convince her family that you are good enough for her but time. You need to step up now and be the man that she needs. If you are serious about her and your unborn child well then it is time to make a decision about ... (read in full...)
My mom is sick, dad doesn't believe her and its taking a toll on my life
Q. I'm 25 and my parent constantly fight. My mom has health problems in which doctors do not know what is wrong with her. Her body aches and she cannot stay away for very long. This has been going on for about 10 years. Because doctors do not k...
A. 6 January 2016: I feel for you sweetie I really do, it is tough juggling your own life and worrying about your mother, but you need to let that worry go. If your mum wanted to leave and get a better life for herself she could, but I think she is happy to stay in ... (read in full...)
I can't move on after being ripped off by my brother!
Q. Hello cupids, I have often read many columns here and advice of how loss is a part of life and I am well aware of that fact. When I graduated from university in 2013, I thought I had the plan of my life all set up. My parents are seperated(never ...
A. 6 January 2016: Remember that you have not lost everything, you have your health, food in your stomach and also a roof over your head. They are the main things you need to remember.
Off course you are going to be angry, you trusted him and he broke that trust time... (read in full...)
How can I deal with my stressed out brother?
Q. I would like to hear some opinions on a situation I have with my brother. We were very close growing up, having to deal with a mentally unstable father who manipulated everyone around him and dictated how everyone should behave, say, and do. My ...
A. 6 January 2016: It sounds like your brother may have learnt these habits from his father and that he thinks it is okay behavior. It does sound like he has some control and anger issues. But again only he can fix these when he accepts that there is a problem. ... (read in full...)
He doesn't know my real age!
Q. I've been dating a guy for a month and hes 28 and doesnt know my real age...i really want to tell him but im afraid if i tell him i will lose him ...he thinks im 30 but really im 36 and i cant live a lie anymore like this ...can any of you aunties ...
A. 5 January 2016: If you told him you are 30 when really you are 36 well then yes this could complicate the relationship. The age gap might not be an issue to him but am sure the lying will be. He will start to wonder then what else you have lied about and it will ... (read in full...)
He asks such nonsense questions!
Q. Is it just me or other experience that their husband ask a nonsense question? Such as when I put my yoga mat on the floor to do some stretching he bombarded me with questions before I could even answer the first one. Like, Where did you get that...
A. 5 January 2016: Sounds like he was taking an interest. Explain to him yoga to you is your time out, quiet place. ... (read in full...)
OUCH! I find I have been viewing my lovely family through rose tintd glasses!
Q. I grew up surrounded by family. Until the past few months I believed them to be a close-knit unit, but as I get older I've discovered many of my ideas surrounding my family were rose-tinted and the underlying problems and arguments were hidden from ...
A. 5 January 2016: I can see your family's point of view, they do not like this man for what he has done in the past, and the are entitled to not like him. However I think the point that is missing here is that it is your uncle and his girlfriends big day, not your ... (read in full...)
Now we've split should I try to win him back?
Q. Hi people... I split up with my boyfriend of 2 years on the weekend. He broke it off with me over an argument we had. I've posted questions on here a couple of times since and just need some advice now on how to deal with the situation now I ...
A. 5 January 2016: I have answered a question that you had already. I now see that you met his mother. I am glad you both spoke and cleared the air.
Now lets get to you and your life. I can tell you want nothing more than to be with him, I also know you want noth... (read in full...)
He says one thing but phone record says another
Q. I've been with this guy for just over 4 months now. He's very insecure due to his previous 3 year relationship. We didn't meet in good circumstances as I left my boyfriend for him. It's going really well and I love him so much. He tells me he l...
A. 5 January 2016: Its not a great start to a relationship. If you felt the need to check his phone, well then you must have been feeling insecure enough to wonder was he actually doing anything. Finding what you did, well not only has he lied to you he is on a dating ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with my stressed out brother?
Q. I would like to hear some opinions on a situation I have with my brother. We were very close growing up, having to deal with a mentally unstable father who manipulated everyone around him and dictated how everyone should behave, say, and do. My ...
A. 5 January 2016: If your brother is showing signs of how your father used to be well then maybe he is following some off his traits. Am afraid though that this is his personality and if you try and talk to him about it I fear that you will lose him.
After tell... (read in full...)
I'm dating a man that tells me things I don't want to hear
Q. This is going to sound.. different. Ok so I started dating a guy who was really quiet at first. Somehow, despite the silence, we fell hard in love with each other. And now that things are becoming a little more serious, and he's talking more and...
A. 5 January 2016: I think he tries to get a reaction out of you. He is probably insecure with himself and he is trying to make you feel insecure as well. He may have been quiet to begin with but he is showing who he really is now. Sweetie you just need to open your ... (read in full...)
I am the one who is hurt and yet my girlfriend is making it all about her and I want her to stop!
Q. I have recently had a bad accident, where I tore my meniscus and strained my calf playing basketball. So the last 5 days I have been in the bed on heavy pain medicine. I told my sister to call my girlfriend and tell her what happened because I was ...
A. 5 January 2016: She sounds like a very selfish person to me. If that was me I would be at the hospital by your side showing you I love you, not complaining about shopping and buying you materialistic things. Has she visited? Spent quality time with you?
If I wher... (read in full...)
I have a crush on a friend that I know doesn't feel the same but I can't concentrate because of him
Q. Hi. I am 17 year old girl. I am little worried. I happen to meet a boy last year who had come from a different city. Initially we didn't talk much. After all he was a new-comer. But I slowly realised we had similar interests. And I came to know he ...
A. 5 January 2016: It is quite common when you have a good friendship that romantic feelings will follow. It happens more than you probably realize. Now you need to ask yourself if you want to pursue something with him or keep him as a friend. Either way you deserve ... (read in full...)
I'm 25 never had a boyfriend - how do I start?
Q. I am a 25 year old female who is pretty independent. I constantly feel different from my peers, because I'm just not similar in certain personality aspects. I have never had a boyfriend. This has never mattered to me until about a year ago when I ...
A. 5 January 2016: I think you are relying on a guy to make the first move on you. But you need to show interest as well. There is a guy there that you like yet you won't make a move. You need to make an effort when you like someone, life is to short to let the ... (read in full...)
Dare I approach my midnight supermarket girl?
Q. I do my grocery shopping usually after midnight at one of the huge 24 hour supermarkets. At that time there are usually more workers(shelf stackers) than customers. Anyhow, the last one or two times that I went there was this girl working there. V...
A. 5 January 2016: No I don't think she would get in trouble, at the end of the day she is talking to a customer which is part of her job. Its a good place to start a conversation. Maybe ask her if they have a specific item and when she goes to find it ask her has she ... (read in full...)
Does this guy like me as a friend or more?
Q. Does he like me as a friend or more? I'm 16, he's 17. Lets call him Leo. We both attend the same church. And we are both black and dark skinned. It all started at a church sleepover. Leo was messing around with my friend Sarah and I. After a while ...
A. 5 January 2016: It can be difficult to tell at this stage what his intentions are. I can see that he likes your company and he is able to have a laugh with you, so this is a good start. I'm guessing he was trying to flirt with you as well which indicates that yes ... (read in full...)
Is he with me or his family? I can't decide.
Q. I know a lot of people are going to probably tell me to leave this guy, but really I'm just wondering if there is any way that a break up could be avoidable. Even if a break up is the best thing, I'm more curious to see what the running up options ...
A. 5 January 2016: This sounds a little suspicious to me. I think you need to meet his ex and children. If you are both serious about having a relationship, then tell him you would like to meet her and the children. If he says no then my guess is that she doesn't know ... (read in full...)
I want my girlfriend to be happy and have a happy future but her new smoking habit bothers me
Q. This is a bit of a long one so thank you if you manage to read all of what I have to say. About 4 months ago my girlfriend got really strong urges to try out a cigarette for the first time, this i didn't approve of but because I'd tried one myself...
A. 5 January 2016: It is vary rare to be having urges to smoke after only trying it a couple of times. Generally it takes a while to become hooked on smoking. The first cigarette is never good and therefore I am quite concerned when she says she enjoyed it. Could it ... (read in full...)
My soon-to-be stepson is jealous when his father and I show affection towards one another
Q. Hi, I just recently became engaged to my boyfriend of two years. My boyfriend has a 5 year old son whom I have a great relationship with. His son has always been a little jealous of the affection his father and I show to each other, but latel...
A. 4 January 2016: I think he might be feeling that his daddy has less time for him now that you are with each other. He is at an age where children to tend to have jealousy issues. Maybe get your boyfriend to talk to him and ask him how things are at school. Maybe ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 5 years has been cheating and left me for the other woman. I'm not coping well!
Q. My long term boyfriend of 5 years completely destroyed me tonight. He and I have been having some problems the last couple weeks but tonight he decided to end it. He confessed to having been cheating on me for a month and ultimately was going...
A. 4 January 2016: Its always difficult for a woman to accept that he has left for another woman. You are better than this. It was his fault he cheated not yours and I think deep down you know that. He is a coward for what he done to you and I hope Karma gets him back ... (read in full...)
Threesome with my boyfriend and another woman has left me confused
Q. My boyfriend and i had a threesome with my best friend while drunk, this was his and mine first and hopefully last threesome together, it was my idea and I've apologized to him because of past relationships where the man cheated on me and i don't ...
A. 4 January 2016: It must be difficult to accept this in your relationship now after it has happened. The question is why did you feel the need to suggest a threesome? Are you curious about being sexual with another woman or was it to satisfy your boyfriend?
E... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to meet up with my ex's mom and tell her why we broke up?
Q. So I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years 2 days ago.. I'm not coping very well, I miss him dearly and never meant for us break up! We lived together with his mum and were planning a child this year and on moving out.. Him and his mum are really ...
A. 4 January 2016: Yes do meet up with her and tell her what has happened, she might guide you through this, only you know the truth and sharing it with her could be a good step forward.
Don't live in hope that by meeting his mum that she might change his mind, it s... (read in full...)
How can I slowly heal from this and let him go and move on. What should I do when he reels me in ?
Q. I been seeing this guy while going thru separation . He and I worked together for 3 months or so. He used to be in to me until we started sleeping together then he slowedly distancing and emailing and texting me every 3 or 4 days. Then he always ...
A. 4 January 2016: If I am being honest with you it sounds to me like he is using you to make himself feel better. I think he looked at the both of you as a casual hook up, and over the holidays he has contacted you again more than likely because he was feeling ... (read in full...)
How can I help my Girlfriend to have more confidence in herself?
Q. Forgive the long intro, My LDR question at the very end. Please start your response with LDR if you respond to just that so I know. I am your average guy. Called attractive by some, not by others, called smart by some and not by others. Overall ...
A. 4 January 2016: It is normal for her to feel let down if she is failing at college, in the future I think you should guide her but let her make her own decisions. Talk to her, tell her that maybe Uni is not for her, maybe the course she is doing is not meant for ... (read in full...)
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