A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there!I hope someone on here can help me decide how to approach the situation I'm in - thanks in advance! Throughout my life I've always liked both men and women. I've been with girls, but the more serious relationships have always been with men. Now, since about a year, I've been with a girl in a pretty serious relationship. We've moved in together now as well and things are going pretty well actually. She's always only been with girls. The only doubt I have is how we're doing sexually. Although she tells me how attractive she finds me all the time, and how very in love with me she is, we don't have sex as often as I'd like. Sometimes if I initiate by kissing her passionately, she responds by kissing me back but then stopping again. For some reason it feels much less "primal" as with the men I've been with. We never talk about sex, we don't really make sexual comments to each other, etc. Only when we're drunk this comes out. From a biological standpoint it makes sense I guess, that it feels less primal to me, but it's not like I don't have the same feelings- we just never got to the point of being open about it or something. I've always taken her lead throughout this relationship because it was all so new to me, but now I feel like I need to step up and do something about this. I'd like for us to be more passionate towards each other and have more sex, but I don't want to put her in the awkward position of having to have sex without really wanting it (I've been there, I really wouldn't want my girlfriend to feel that way) / maybe she indeed just wants it less than I do. But somehow I get the feeling that she might think the same, that I maybe just don't live up to her expectations in bed due to my lack of experience?I guess my question really is, whether anyone on here has been in a similar situation or has a first hand experience with lesbian relationships being this way, or can give me any advice in how to approach this without her feeling cornered...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lucy1999 +, writes (14 December 2015):
Just tell her slowly I've gone through this too. Maybe something like ( how do would you feel if we had sex a little more often
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 December 2015):
 If you are both in a relationship then you both should be at a level where you can talk about these things. If you do not want to address it head on and make her feel like she is being cornered well then maybe suggest that you both should spice up your sex life and try new things. Tell her you are inexperienced and you would like to try new things. The second thing is to make sure that you both make time for each other, cook romantic dinners, light some candles, seduction is the key. Get some kinky stuff to wear and try new things, the world is your oyster.
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