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Colleague ruined spa day. Do I inform management of her behavior?

Q.   My workplace paid for myself and a colleague to a spa day last week as we were the top 2 in our team with the highest sales records. Often they treat staff members who have hit target with things like this and this was both our first time. ...

A.   26 September 2023: To be perfectly honest i would not mention it when you go back and your manager asks how it went, as you say it could go against you and look bad for the workplace. Where ever you go in life you are always going to come across a Debbie Downer o... (read in full...)

I am missing my partner after our breakup

Q.   I have recently left my partner, who I didn’t want to leave but the relationship was toxic. He blamed me for everything that was wrong, said I didn’t communicate with him. I did, but he didn’t want to listen or compromise on anything. We were ...

A.   25 September 2023: You should not regret your decision because you 100% did the right thing. the relationship was toxic and coming with that a myriad of red flags, you were right to do what you did. You just need to give yourself time, the feelings you are... (read in full...)

Embarrassed him at the airport & things haven’t been the same since.

Q.   I’ve made a complete fool of myself and not sure how to fix it…. Please don’t tell me it’s my fault as I know it is and I’m not looking for sympathy. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years- we don’t live together (we both rent our own pro...

A.   24 September 2023: I actually agree with your friends and family, i think he is being too sensitive and unappreciative. You both had not seen each other in a long time, i just think that a couple in love who have not seen each other in months the reaction at the a... (read in full...)

Followup to post produce

Q.   This is a follow up to my post on the 29th August “ Are we being harsh by no longer giving neighbors fresh produce as they seem to take advantage?” I wanted to thank everyone for backing us up and making us realize we weren’t being harsh for ...

A.   22 September 2023: Well done you, you did the right thing. Lol, I agree, what a cheeky cow. ... (read in full...)

Accused of bragging about my 2nd property at work

Q.   My husband and i recently bought a 2nd property - it’s an apartment on the beach here in the UK. We’ve saved up and made sacrifices for years to be able to do this and are proud that we have been able to do so. At work last week a few ...

A.   19 September 2023: I think sometimes social media is more trouble than what its worth to be honest. If i was you i would not have anyone from work on your social media, just your close friends and family. You are always going to get jealous people, who want to ... (read in full...)

Early friend dating and sensing a conflcit coming

Q.   I have an inquiry about new friends. I try and be very open to different kinds of friends. I've seen people who are closed off and I feel they miss out on great people because they are so safety-concerned and any sign of remote conflict, sends them ...

A.   18 September 2023: You really have not know him for very long, and the little time you have there are some red flags, which are a sign that you should walk away. Passive aggression, ridicule, low key aggression, drink drugs. Come on OP, you know in your heart of... (read in full...)

Dating a single parent with a teenager

Q.   I am a single woman in my early 50s with no kids. I'm trying online dating which is a minefield. However over the last week I have made a good connection with a man in his late 50s. We have had two lengthy conversations this weekend on the phone. He ...

A.   18 September 2023: I think its really early days to say how things are going to go between the two of you. I guess he just never wanted his daughter to know he is online dating, which is kind of understandable i suppose. I think if things materialized between ... (read in full...)

How do I tell my brother and his wife that I'm moving out of state?

Q.   My brother, his wife and I live on the same street. My brother and I have always been close. I am single and work from home. I rent while my brother owns his home. About 4 months ago, my brother and sister-in-law announced that the...

A.   10 September 2023: Nothing was set in stone that you would babysit the baby when its born. They are assuming that you will do this as they assume that you are available and work from home, which is wrong. You are single, your life is your own and you are free to ... (read in full...)

My mum's friend is a bad customer

Q.   I’m really annoyed at my mums friend for messing me about and also at my mum as she is siding with her friend!!! Last year i started making and selling some items- jewelry, hats, bags etc… My mums friend who I’ve only met a handful of times...

A.   10 September 2023: I agree with what you said, you would not go into a shop or buy something online and pay a week later, this would never happen in the real world. I feel you did the right thing by not giving her the goods and letting her pay later. She would be... (read in full...)

How to let him down gently

Q.   Before the summer, I ask my ex to give me some space as i was feeling overwhelmed by our interactions. It felt very unbalanced, as he was in love with me then and I wasn’t with him. He wanted to keep having long talks but for me I really needed to ...

A.   10 September 2023: Sometimes in life we have to be cruel to be kind. He wants to have this talk because he still thinks there is a glimmer of hope there between the pair of you. I feel by saying you both can talk after summer has provided him with false hope. I thi... (read in full...)

After our drunken threesome I had sex with boyfriend's friend

Q.   Is it bad I let my boyfriends mate finish inside me in morning. My bf had been talking to me for few months about this, so we finally had a drunken threesome with his friend last night. Everything was fine until we met in toilet early morning , ...

A.   8 September 2023: Oh dear what a mess, things like this never end well. Because you have indulged in the threesome scene, his mate takes this as a green light to do what he did. I would never advise bringing a third party into a relationship, and even worse be... (read in full...)

Dating for 2 months and I asked where this is headed

Q.   I’ve been dating this guy for 2 months now. I really like him and feel like things were going really well. I finally thought I’d met someone special. I however asked him where he saw this going and he said he didn’t know I feel really upset and ...

A.   6 September 2023: To be honest two months into a new relationship is not really a great deal of time, you still in that kind of new getting to know each other phase. By your own admission you say he likes your company, thinks your beautiful, have an amazing ... (read in full...)

How to approach neighbor who takes our flowers without asking?

Q.   8 months ago we had a lovely foreign family move in opposite us. The lady is a cake maker and she showed me a portfolio of all her cakes and they look amazing. On a couple of occasions she has asked to use our flowers that we have in our fron...

A.   29 August 2023: She is taking a liberty with your flowers and taking advantage of your good nature. You just can't stroll onto someone elses property and take a bunch of flowers, so much to the extent it leaves gaps in your garden, she is out of order and this... (read in full...)

Are we being harsh by no longer giving neighbors fresh produce as they seem to take advantage?

Q.   My husband and i last year took over my parents allotment. We’ve been very fortunate that we always have an abundance of fresh produce such as lettuce, cucumbers, onions, apples, figs, strawberries, carrots, cabbage etc…. So often we will give ...

A.   29 August 2023: In no way are you being harsh by cutting them off with your fruit and veg, far from it. I mean what a total cheek, charging you for a pot of jam after you went over with a crate of veggies. Yep i totally 100% agree with you and your husband... (read in full...)

I don't feel wanted sexually

Q.   Me and my gf went away for 8 days for my birthday. It was a great time but when I got back I was disappointed that I had to come back home to relieve myself (we are living separate due to distance and jobs, planning to move in next year). She ...

A.   28 August 2023: It sounds like you are both going through the motions, and you are both to kind to tell each other your true feelings for fear of hurting one another. I just get the feeling that the pair of you are better suited as friends, i think you maybe ha... (read in full...)

Radio silence did I do something wrong?

Q.   Hey there, I've got a bit of a situation on my hands that I could use some advice on. There's this amazing girl I've had a massive crush on, and she's a customer at the comic shop where I work. I've always liked her, but since she's a customer...

A.   27 August 2023: I don't think that you did anything wrong here, and there could a a number of reasons for her elusiveness. She could be into you and is to shy to let you know. She could just be one of these people that like to play games, build someones h... (read in full...)

What can I do to be less shy around boys?

Q.   I am 17 years old (soon to be 18), and have never, ever been close to being in a relationship. Not once. I really cannot figure out why, I am a bit nervous around guys but not in a way thats weird or anything, I'm just a bit shy. It's not because ...

A.   25 August 2023: I think the best thing is to be your authentic self and just go with the flow and let things transpire easily and naturally. I think sometimes people think to much and try to hard and end up being something they are not, then when they eventual... (read in full...)

My out of country husband does things just to annoy me

Q.   So my husband who lives in another country asked me to send him little bit of some money for internet so he can call me. I sent it him and he put the internet on his phone and then the next day asked me did I want him to call me later and so i sai...

A.   20 August 2023: You don't divulge much information about your situation here and how you are married to someone from another country who likes to ask you for money then mess you around in return. None of this sounds right to me, and from the little informat... (read in full...)

Why is my fwb being so disrespectful

Q.   I've been seeing a FWB for sometime. We do things together. Hang out, go out in his boat, go to dinner sometimes. Lately he seems irritated by something. We went to his condo on the beach in his truck. It was really a hot day. I asked if he could ...

A.   18 August 2023: Why he was so disrespectful is now irrelevant, this is not important here. You know in your heart of hearts what you need to do here. For starters you want a relationship and he does not. So my advice would be to delete/block and move on, and ... (read in full...)

GF not pregnant now but BF still wants to get married.

Q.   My name is Seath. I have been dating the same girl since we were 16 and now we are in college. We had a scary moment last month where we thought she might be pregnant even thought we were using birth control. I asked her to marry me and even got ...

A.   16 August 2023: All things happen for a reason, this just means at this stage in your life was not the right time. You are still both very young, its all about communication really, for you both sit down and discuss what you both want and what the future holds fo... (read in full...)

Our families don't approve of how we spend our weekends

Q.   My female cousin, Brooke (37 years old), and I have always been close. I am a 38 years old male. She has always been best friends. A few years ago, I was curious and joined a nudist park. I fell in love with it and spend as much time as pos...

A.   14 August 2023: At the end of the day you are both 37 & 38 years old, grown adults and how you both wish to spend your spare time is your business. The fact that she is lesbian should be enough for them to realise that there never will be any kind of sexual c... (read in full...)

Is the crush fading?

Q.   The most senior staff in my child's school has a crush on me. The attraction is mutual. Please don't ask me ' how do I know as I have passed that stage. The signs were so obvious i,e there was one or two things that he did that was unprofes...

A.   14 August 2023: Unlike love the feeling of a crush or lust are often short lived and often just dissipate of their own accord. You know this is wrong, he knows this is wrong, everyone reading this post knows its wrong. This will just lead to huge complicatio... (read in full...)

Is my friend a freeloader?

Q.   I need some opinions to work out if my friend is a freeloader… For as long as I have known her- 8 years she has always struggled with money- she works full time but doesn’t save anything and doesnt think about what she spends and where. W...

A.   14 August 2023: Yes i do think she is kind of a free loader, and she has got used to you footing the bill, or paying for her to have the expensive dinner and extra drinks, which as we both know is not on. I do think you have to set some boundries and be clear wi... (read in full...)

Shall I confront my neighbor or not?

Q.   My neighbor, on several occasion, whilst I have been away has looked after my indoor rabbits. I’ve never had any issues with her coming to my house and looking after them. My bunnies have their own allocated big room downstairs which is rabb...

A.   14 August 2023: I don't think i would mention it to be honest as will more than likely cause some bad feeling. Next time you go away just maybe consider someone else look after them. ... (read in full...)

I left my abusive partner so why do I feel bad?

Q.   I have just left my partner of two years who was emotionally abusive. I have felt unhappy for months living with him but why do I feel even more unhappy without him? Before I met him I was a happy, lived my best life. Now I feel like a shell of my ...

A.   14 August 2023: I understand how you feel, but leaving him was the best thing you could have possibly done. Break ups are never easy, but i believe time is the healer of all things. Use your own space wisely and try to find things to do that make your heart si... (read in full...)

Husband left me stranded at restaurant after we had a disagreement. Is the marriage over?

Q.   Dear cupid I (40f) been married to my husband (35m) for 2 years, dated for about 3 yrs before marriage. Have 1 kid (3 yr). Got a new car recently based on my husband suggestions. He never came to see the car or test drive, I did it and liked it....

A.   24 July 2023: You dated for around three years before marriage, did he not display any of these signs during this time. I find it hard to believe he all of a sudden just turned into this controlling guy once you tied the knot. If you are really unhappy ... (read in full...)

What went wrong with our dating? I thought we were doing ok!

Q.   I need advice on what went wrong with this guy. We met in April. He totally swept me off my feet I'm talking expensive dates,flowers a love story. He even gave me money when I was in need. It was long distance and he was coming to me every weekend. ...

A.   24 July 2023: I think that you had a lucky escape in my opinion, there are to many red flags with this guy Stop wasting your valuable time and energy on this guy and move on. I know it hurts so bad, but honestly time is the healer, just keep telling you... (read in full...)

How do I approach my girlfriend and tell her its ok if she's bi or a lesbian?

Q.   Hello people, right so I think my girlfriend might be in the closet, or bi, or maybe just a free spirit, i don't know, let me explain. I know she's had 3 experiences with girls before but she always describes them as "just naughty" or play things, ...

A.   19 July 2023: Sounds like she does not know what she wants, by sounds of it she does not sound overly interested in you, but more interested in the opposite sex. Whether its a male or female its still wrong to be going on dating apps and wanting dates with oth... (read in full...)

His remark has me wondering if I should end our friendship?

Q.   I'm a 51 year old woman who is currently single (been divorced 10 years now). I had a relationship with another man two years younger than me straight after I got divorced - a rebound I guess - but this ended up with me finding out he had gone back ...

A.   19 July 2023: All sounds more like a convenience thing to me as neither of you have met anyone new yet. You have been good to him, you have looked after him, and even now your willing to have a night at yours with him being picked up and dropped off as well.... (read in full...)

Why does this couple act this way?

Q.   I really don't know what to think of these people's behavior. Can you help me make sense of it? This couple live near me. I have said hello to the lady, just in passing, 3 times (in case she maybe hadn't heard me for some reason). Both her and her...

A.   17 July 2023: I guess its like people you work with, some people are sociable, and some are not, and some are just odd balls. I guess we can't choose our neighbours, just like we can't choose our work colleagues i suppose. I would not dwell on it to much, fo... (read in full...)

Should I text him and ask where we stand or should I end it?

Q.   My boyfriend asked me for space and time after we had a misunderstanding and it’s been a month now of no contact. When I see him at public events he stares at me when he thinks I’m not looking but he makes no effort to come talk to me and doesn’t ...

A.   17 July 2023: I am sorry to say but i feel that this relationship is well and truly over. You have seen him at public events and he make no effort to talk to you or even approach you, this in itself says it all really. The 3am text i would imagine was a dr... (read in full...)

How would I even broach the topic of attempting to rekindle something with someone who once hurt me?

Q.   Hi there - I have a situation who I don’t know who else to speak to about it. 3 years ago I was in a relationship with someone who I genuinely fell in love with. He had a lot of maturing to do and couldn’t quite seem to get to the point of saying he ...

A.   16 July 2023: I think that your family and friends are just worried about you and don't want to see you get hurt again, its normal, just means they care about you. So he accepted a lunch date with someone he knew liked him, and never disclosed the fact he ... (read in full...)

I told my friend she was my forever crush girl

Q.   I told my friend through text she is my forever girl crush (I am also a girl) and she didn’t say anything. She usually responds to my text within an hour or less. I have explained it means someone you admire etc. is she uncomfortable did I freak her ...

A.   15 July 2023: Yes is does sound like she is a bit freaked out by what you said. There is nothing that you can do now, you have sent the text and there is nothing you can do. Unfortunately we can't unscramble scrambled eggs, so we have to live with the conseque... (read in full...)

Coworker questioning my virginity and sexuality

Q.   Please help me address/respond to a nosy coworker. In the past I went to her about questions regarding guys/dating and that I told a guy something about me and I think it freaked him out. It was about my weight and how heavy I used to be-but she ...

A.   7 July 2023: Your life is none of her business, she is there to do do a job as are you and she really needs to stop asking you questions and being nosy about matters of a personal nature. keep doing what you are doing and just deal with her of matters ... (read in full...)

He uses my secrets against me

Q.   How do you deal with a bf who uses your secrets against you? We've been together about 2 years. Whenever he argues which is quite abit he decides to throw things on my face. For example I ruined all my relationships and I can't keep a man, I'm ...

A.   7 July 2023: Your post is quite short, and not much information given about this situation. From what you have said he does not sound like a very nice person at all and sounds controlling and manipulative. Well the truth of the matter is if you love some... (read in full...)

Dealing with a narcisstic man

Q.   Has anyone ever dealt with a narcissistic man in a relationship? I am living with a guy who never says he is wrong. No matter what he does, it’s my fault, my mistake, my actions that has caused an argument or a disagreement. He’s always adding o...

A.   5 July 2023: I think its important in relationships to look out for what i call red flags, and from your post he is certainly displaying quite a few isen't he. on top of being a narcissistic man, he is controlling your life, what you do and who you see. Als... (read in full...)

How to deal with a boyfriend who always asks for money?

Q.   How to deal with a boyfriend who always asks for money? We've been together 2 years now and in this time he always asks for money. His latest request is his rent for $1500.00. He is always out of work. Some excuse. I need to focus on my own ...

A.   4 July 2023: He is not working, he is sponging money off of you left right and centre and i'm guessing you never see a penny of it back. You have told him you are not his bank, but this does not sink in. Well I suppose he has got used to being a man of leisu... (read in full...)

I don't want to act jealous

Q.   My FWB let his ex wife watch his cats while he was away. He has 4. I wasn't available. She stayed at his home 3 weeks while he was away, and I'm fine with that. She left pieces of clothing and incidentals in his home. She wants to pick them up she ...

A.   3 July 2023: Like the other aunts have already said you hold the FWB title so you can't really act jealous. Its not like he even hid anything, he was upfront and honest with you. Are you happy with being just FWB?. I get the impression from your post t... (read in full...)

What should I expect?

Q.   Theoretical question. Say I meet a nice woman, and she eventually tells me that she wants to engage in sexual activity. Ok, cool, but, I don’t have much experience with sex, and I just want to know what should be expected of if I do the missionary ...

A.   3 July 2023: The only advice i can offer her is probably best not to over think things. The more you think about it and plan your every move the more difficult it will be. Its all a learning curve, go with the flow, have fun and enjoy it. After the 1st time... (read in full...)

Confused but wish to see her again

Q.   Dear Cupid, It is amazing to see this platform still standing. As it has helped me a lot in the past, back when I was still 16 years old and I haven't been here for a while. How time flies because I'm now 27 years old. Today, I am here bec...

A.   13 June 2023: I think you are lusting after her, and unlike the emotions of love lust is quite often short lived and these feelings will dissipate of their own accord. And I think that's exactly what you should do, forget about her and let these emotions... (read in full...)

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