A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met up with an ex boyfriend last year July having not seen him for over 15 years. It was magical and he made he feel so good. WE dated a few times and he even came to my works xmas party. That's the last time I saw him.We had a good night and held hands etc and spent the night together.I spoke to him after xmas and he stated that he had just started a new job and worked over xmas. I spent new years with my child's father. As such as I cant see us ever living together or getting married, he's a great dad and tried to make new year special for me. I could seee he had gone out of his way.My ex has not children and no ties and never been married. I feel that I get on better with him than I do my child's father.I am going to let time be the deciding factor. I feel my child's father will win as he is so constantly in contact with me.I want to get married one day but to who?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2016): Thank you all for your replies. I am going to try and build things with my child's father. I have never wanted any one to come in and be his father. I am looking for someone to be a companion to me. There are a lot of issues with my childs father - a lot of emotionally abusing etc.
My ex will all ways be special to me and I never want to lose contact again.
I am a career orientated women and fairly successful and intelligent so I know when someone is taking the micky.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2016): "I want to get married one day but to who?"
Shouldn't you have answered that question BEFORE you had a kid?
But since you've denied your child the opportunity to be born to two stable, responsible, mature parents who've made a lifetime commitment to each other, you need to get your priorities in order and as such your kid's best interests and well being come way, way, way ahead of your love life.
You should be striving to provide your child as much
consistency and stability as your tenuous circumstances allow while doing everything you can to ensure that baby daddy remains an active and involved part of his child's life.
The absolutely last thing you should be doing is introducing a strange man into your child's life as s/he's confused enough as it is. And don't think that paternal rights are transferable to whomever you choose to be with at any given moment. Your child has only one father and s/he didn't pick him, YOU did.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (8 January 2016):
 You should ultimately choose to do whatever's best for your child. When you choose to bring a life into this world, from then on, whatever you do and how you act, has to be in their best interest.
If you think that your child's father will be the best person to have in your child's life, then so be it. After all you did say that he tried to make new year special for you and there must've been something in him for you to have had a baby with him. Give him a chance. You seem to "want" your ex a lot more and are quite dismissive of the father.
As for your ex, well he's an ex for a reason and also, how do you know if he would be willing to accept your child as his own? How do you also know that your child would be willing to accept him as a father if you decide to marry your ex?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 January 2016):
 Only you can decide who is right for you. You need to ask yourself do you love the father of your child and can you see a future between you both? Sharing a child is not a good enough reason to be in a relationship.
As for your ex, to me it sounds like he had a few dates with you but now he has a new life.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (7 January 2016):
 You have answered your own question when you said:'As such as I cant see us ever living together or getting married.'
So would your ex' ever want to marry you, or should you be looking for someone new - the unmentioned option three?
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A
female
reader, SmartiePants007  +, writes (7 January 2016):
Your old ex flame was your ex for a reason. He may have come and lit some of the old feelings you had for him back, but who's to say what happened before won't happen again. Your child's father is making an effort to be a part of you and your child's life and you and he have a child together which is a bond in itself. I think you should try to make it work with your child's father for your son's sake. Try going on dates with him and try to build that connection with him and see what happens. He may surprise you...
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