Does anyone have any advice for the eternal commitophobe? Or should I just give up hope now and start investing in my cat collection now?
Q. Dear Cupid, I recently split up with my boyfriend of 2 months. Which isn't very long I know, but it's been playing on my mind. I'm usually the sort of person who can cut someone off at the drop of a hat, and I've had to do that to survive in th...
A. 10 February 2016: I think you are afraid of getting hurt, you have not let your guard down because of your past. I think you knew deep down you had great feelings for him, so you broke up with him so that you could protect yourself.
It sounds like it was a good rela... (read in full...)
I can't seem to fall in love. Does attraction happen over time?
Q. I just can't seem to fall in love. Yesterday I had a date for the first time in years. I have a habit of saying "no" to people I'm not attracted to, but this time I figured, "why not say yes, the attraction might come later". I knew the guy ...
A. 9 February 2016: Ask yourself what is it that you find attractive in a man? You need to know what you are looking for before beginning to date someone. Yes attraction can grow, but I think there needs to be a spark there if you want a relationship with someone. ... (read in full...)
Can I check on a mobile phone to see if my husband has been using skype to do sex chats?
Q. Is it possible to check on a mobile phone history if my hubby has been sex chatting with other women over Skype. The reason I ask this question is that I have seen a lot of Skype login on his web and app activity and he has never mentioned this, we ...
A. 9 February 2016: I think you know the answers that you need already. Some girl didn't just skype him by mistake. You know he is lying. He has an addiction to porn, which I imagine also leads to live calls on skype when you are out. I know you don't want to think it ... (read in full...)
Does it make one a terrible person if he or she does not want to see someone else because they've been together with too many people sexually?
Q. Does it make one a terrible person if he or she does not want to see someone else because they've been together with too many people sexually? My boyfriend said it doesn't and shouldn't matter, but I feel like I wouldn't want to be with someone who ...
A. 5 February 2016: No off course it doesn't make you a terrible person, some like blue eyes, some like curves, some like personality, some like innocence or sensible people. Its all about what you want at the end of the day. Stay with your standards, remember that it ... (read in full...)
Is it cheating or just a friend thing????
Q. Hi i have a serious question. First, I have a friend that I text behind my boyfriend's back. My friend is someone i met at work like some of my other friends. But some how he is a close friend cuz of the things we like. He knows i have a boyfriend n ...
A. 5 February 2016: Imagine if during the week your boyfriend was chatting to a girl and masturbating to the same thing she was, would you be okay with that?
You know this is wrong, your poor boyfriend has no idea that you are doing this to him because you are hidi... (read in full...)
I really love her,but she is my teacher!
Q. Hi everyone!I'm 17 years old girl and this year I fell in love with my new geography female teacher.I don't know if I'm straight,homo or bi but actually I even don't care about this now.I can't stop thinking about her,even for a second.I'm sure that ...
A. 5 February 2016: The answer is simple, if you where both to have a secret relationship, someone would find out and she would lose her job, not only would she lose her job but she would also never be able to work in another school again. She has a duty of care to ... (read in full...)
He says he'll be understanding in dealing with me but he loses his patience and becomes abusive!
Q. I have been in a relationship for a year now with my partner who i have known for 6 years as we worked together. We have a 5 week old baby boy. I have had lots anxiety and mental health issues most of my life but I have done a lot of work on myself ...
A. 5 February 2016: You have been together only a year and already you have a baby together, off course this is going to be stressful and emotional, everything in this relationship is moving so quick.
Off course it is normal for any new mother to feel emotional, to n... (read in full...)
I've relocated and quit my job and now I'm afraid he'll run off with someone who can give him children
Q. Hi folks, I don't know if anyone has been in a relationship with some one younger, I have been for coming up 3 years. life is good, but one thing I'm young 44 just he's coming up 32. I have grown up kids he has none. when I met him he didn't ...
A. 5 February 2016: I can understand why he has changed his mind, am sure plenty of men or women think they don't want children until one day they wake up and decide that maybe they do. Off course this is tough in your position, as with your age not only may it be ... (read in full...)
How do women find men who want them?
Q. I do not know how to really say this but I am 18, I am a virgin and I have never actually been kissed. I want these things, I want to be kissed, I want to have sex. But I cannot find anyone who wants me? I want a relationship but I have never had...
A. 4 February 2016: You are still very young so don't worry about never having being kissed or having a sexual relationship, believe me there is plenty of time. The only advice I can give you is to join clubs, take up hobbies, check out online dating see whats out ... (read in full...)
Hard to get over him - want things how they used to be!
Q. Hi everyone, I posted a question almost a year ago about this guy i was meeting up with and whose mother sadly passed away. After all this happened he still kept in touch with me and for about 2 months after her passing he would still text me ev...
A. 4 February 2016: If nothing has happened between you both after this long then my guess is that he is probably not interested in a romantic way. It sounds like he sees you as a friend, maybe he didn't want to answer you because he didn't want to hurt your feelings. ... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend & current boyfriend drama!!
Q. So i dated this guy for about two years, i broke up with him, hes been trying to 'get back at me' but also 'get me back' for the past six months, I recently started dating this new guy who gets very uncomfortable with my ex texting me as he will ...
A. 4 February 2016: How do you think you would feel if your boyfriend was recieving textes from an ex girlfriend telling him that she wants him back? I'm guessing not good, you should think about how this is effecting your boyfriend, and if you want to be with him, you ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend no longer speaks to me, says he's too tired!
Q. Hi, My boyfriend and I live together and I noticed right away that we had no dates any longer and just coexisted, so to speak. It was a downer on the romance. I brought it up, and we've done several things to still feel like a couple and not j...
A. 4 February 2016: What a miserable relationship to be in. It doesn't even sound like you would make good room mates?
Sit down and ask yourself what are you getting out of this relationship? Do you feel loved? Cared for? Talking is a basis to any sort of frie... (read in full...)
Would a guy invest his time for texting almost every hour and everyday only to get sex
Q. Hello everyone! I am wondering, if a guy would invest his time for texting almost every hour and everyday only to get sex (my fear)? I don't know him in real life, we met online. He's charming and all that stuff. We've been texting about ...
A. 4 February 2016: Yes it is possible that he only wants sex. You have only been talking for over a week now and already talk has turned sexual. This would put me off, as I would rather get to know someone face to face before talking sexual with them.
If you are worr... (read in full...)
Advise me on how to make the bad feelings go away!
Q. When I was younger, I was a severely jealous person. To the point where it hindered many of my friendships and relationships. I worked on my confidence and my insecurities, and really changed my life around. I learned not to compare myself to others ...
A. 4 February 2016: If you feel like you are a negative person well then maybe this is showing when people are in the same company as you, and if it is it might stop people from asking you to these events.
Okay lets start with your neighbour, you say you don't real... (read in full...)
TEEN guys mostly! pls... a serious relationship, but not dating.... what would you do??????? :)
Q. What do TEEN guys think of a girl that they like and she likes him back, but she's not allowed to date yet? Another part of the story, the guy know it and they AREN'T dating, but they are kissing and touchy-feely with each other. Then after a while ...
A. 4 February 2016: You pretty much are dating without the label of it. Friends don't kiss each other, and talk about the future. I can see why the label is not there as you are not allowed to date yet, but my guess is the feelings are there. So maybe when you are ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't call me every morning!
Q. My bf doesn't call me ever morning... I m the only who cals him remind him about me...?? What should I do ...
A. 3 February 2016: Talk to him about what you expect from him. Maybe he doesn't know that you want him to call every morning, or maybe he knows that you will call. ... (read in full...)
This sinking feeling in my stomach will pass, right?
Q. Married bf's wife got suspicious and he dropped me like a hot potato -after four years. I am angry and disgusted. More at peace though not having him in my life. But occasionally get a sinking feeling in my stomach. This too shall pass, right?...
A. 3 February 2016: This is what happens when you mess around with married men, you get dropped as the wife will always be put first. I guess it is a lesson to learn in the future, he was never yours, always hers. Move on, be careful who you go for in the future and ... (read in full...)
I'm worried my inexperience might scare him off!
Q. I am just starting oral sex with my boyfriend, i have only given it to him a couple of times and hes the first guy ive ever tried this with. He has been telling me ive been doing good but he is more experienced than i am so i am worried he may just ...
A. 3 February 2016: If you are comfortable enough giving your man oral sex, then you need to be comfortable enough talking to him about it. Just be honest with him, tell him you are not sure exactly what you are doing and ask him to guide you. ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my family about this unconventional relationship I have with someone I haven't officially met?
Q. I recently just entered an "unconventional" relationship with someone "Mika" I knew for about a year now. We met through my best friend "Jay". Jay and I met pretty much online, we met in person roughly a year or so into our friendship. Online, he ...
A. 3 February 2016: It won't go down to well with your family. A lot of people do not understand meeting people on the internet and they feel that it is dangerous. Do you really need to tell your family yet? Maybe you should wait until you guys meet and make sure there ... (read in full...)
Is it too late for me to get married and have a family?
Q. Well i'm 50, In fact today i'm 50. Not a life threatening event but still an event. You see i have cared for my parents and sister for the last 25 years. I lost my sister 2 years ago and both my parents last year. They were my life, i gave up on ...
A. 3 February 2016: I won't tell you that it is impossible, but at your age it will be quite a challenge to meet someone, fall in love, and be a father to children before you are pension age.
You sound like a caring soul, someone who sacrificed your life for your fami... (read in full...)
She told me she loves me but that she's been seeing another guy for a couple of years
Q. So I met this girl about a month ago.. We pretty much got along very well and talk everyday. We hangout all the time and have become very intimate. We got to the stage where she is telling me she loves me.. But then we had a serious talk and she ...
A. 3 February 2016: You think you would be okay with her getting pregnant? Can you afford a baby. What will happen is if you get her pregnant she will claim the baby is her boyfriends and not only will you be left alone, but you will have another man raise your child. ... (read in full...)
I refused to play his game
Q. Hi everyone I have a problem with a man who apparently is grieving for his wife. He showed a lot of attention to me before she died. He went cold for a little while but now its back again. His wife died 9 months ago. Unfortunately fo...
A. 3 February 2016: I think you have done the best thing. Yes it is difficult when you love someone to let go, but it will be kinder for you long term.
I genuinely believe that this man is not ready to make a commitment, yet he is using you to make himself feel bett... (read in full...)
She told me she loves me but that she's been seeing another guy for a couple of years
Q. So I met this girl about a month ago.. We pretty much got along very well and talk everyday. We hangout all the time and have become very intimate. We got to the stage where she is telling me she loves me.. But then we had a serious talk and she ...
A. 3 February 2016: What is going on in her head? What is going on in your head? You mention you have been in this situation before, therefore I would be inclined to think that maybe you would have learnt from past experiences not to make the same mistake twice!!
S... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend trust me?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for about 3 months now.We communicate well with each other and always have fun together. However, whenever I talk about my friends (which are mostly male) he'll start to get jealous. I bring up a simple topic like ...
A. 3 February 2016: This can be the beginning off very worrying behavior that may lie ahead. Yes you are right he doesn't trust you, he wants you all to himself and he feels like he is sharing you with other guys. This is not a good mind frame for him to be in, as this ... (read in full...)
How do I ask for my money?
Q. I feel really stupid asking this question. I am a math tutor. I go to my pupil's homes and give private lessons. I do it on the side and they pay me in cash. My prices are reasonable (ok, on the lower side, times are hard, but that is my decision...
A. 3 February 2016: Your message sounds good. Hopefully her mind has just been elsewhere, could it be possible that the student has been giving the money and has not passed it on to you? Either way if you do not want to call her mother, then send the text message. It ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend slept with someone else when we were seeing each other. Can't get over it. Help!
Q. I need advice from the outsiders. As a summary, my girlfriend and i have been together for a year and a half now. A few months ago, we were on holiday to an exotic island, i pop the question, she said yes and we were all happy. At the end of our t...
A. 3 February 2016: The only mistake that she has made here is lying to you and telling you she didn't have sex with her friend. So yes I can understand you having some doubts now about loyalty and trust. She should never have lied.
It will take time to get over this... (read in full...)
Is my husband taking advantage of me because I contact my ex
Q. I called my long time ex yesterday and my husband took it to the extreme. It was an honest text. A prophet at church shared some light about my life. I immediately told my husband a certain ex of mine told me the exact same thing. Out of curiosity ...
A. 3 February 2016: It sounds like you both have no trust for each other, which makes me wonder why did you marry this man to begin with? If you are unhappy in your marriage well then leave, if you feel you cannot trust him then there is no point being married to him. ... (read in full...)
Is my LDR guy just after one thing?
Q. Ok. I have been dating this guy for almost 3 months now, and I am not really happy. It's a long-distance relationship and every time he comes to see me, we get up to no good. By that, I mean, doing sexual stuff. He only kissed me on our first mee...
A. 3 February 2016: I am not sure where your doubts are coming from honey, all that you have mentioned in your post says to me that he is a good guy. Okay so he might be a bit immature, but if you can see past that then it sounds like he is decent enough. He makes the ... (read in full...)
Are my expectations too high? Alternatively, does he expect too much of me?
Q. Let's imagine you're in a LDR. This is your 10+ time flying to meet your boyfriend. Beginning with the previous visit, due to his car not being drivable, he asks you to get a rental at the airport. During the previous visit (which was 3 months a...
A. 2 February 2016: If you make a huge effort for him when he visits you, then I can see why you would want the same back. It is important to you, but maybe he doesn't realize this. If he can afford expensive items then off course he can afford to spend money on you ... (read in full...)
Text sent to me from an unknown number. If it's her, what should I do?
Q. My best friend and I have been close for nearly three years now. We've always been comfortable around each other to divulge personal secrets. In the beginning, I did have a crush on her. I thought she was gorgeous, still do. Over time, I realized...
A. 2 February 2016: Before you start wondering and having all these ideas you need to ask her. Give her a text, tell her you received the message and ask her does she know who it is from? Or does she know the number? Then you can proceed from there as to what to do. ... (read in full...)
Is my premise possible? Is it decent folks, who try to live right, who are the people who get screwed over?
Q. Maybe it's because I am feeling really low these days- but increasingly feel that it's the decent folks and the ones who try to live right that get screwed over. The lying, cheating, selfish ones live peacefully. How come?...
A. 2 February 2016: I just think you are in a dark place at the moment. Believe me the people who lie, cheat and are selfish don't always have a good outcome.
If you repeatedly cheat on partners, it will catch up on you, and you will eventually become paranoid that... (read in full...)
Is this cheating? I don't understand myself anymore!
Q. Hay, I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. We really love each other and we're planning to move in together soon. So here's my problem or should i say I don't really know if it's already a problem. I've met a man who is nearly 20 years...
A. 2 February 2016: It could be that you both clicked so well with your conversation that you found a connection. This could raise your libido. It is okay as long as it is sex with your boyfriend. If your boyfriend is okay with this friendship then you are doing ... (read in full...)
Seems he's been messaging her non-stop. Is my boyfriend cheating on me?
Q. Okay so I know some people may judge me for this but about two months back I snooped on my boyfriends phone. I saw he had been exchanging lots of messages with this girl he goes to university with who he is actually going to be living with next aca...
A. 2 February 2016: I can see you not wanting to give up a two year relationship, that is understandable. But it is obvious that he doesn't care about how you feel, he is willing to lose this relationship over talking to that other girl. You should never allow a ... (read in full...)
Is this weird or am I normal?
Q. Is this weird? I'm 16 and I'm horny all the time (I'm a virgin too). I've had very little to no experience with guys. All it takes is a sexual song or a male singer with a sexy voice to turn me on and then I have to masturbate, or atleast pleasure ...
A. 2 February 2016: Yip totally normal. Your hormones are in over drive as you are maturing in to a woman. It is okay to dream and fantasize about sex, most people your age do. Just be careful not to enter in to a sexual relationship unless you are completely ready and ... (read in full...)
Am I being overly sensitive about how my parents handled the loan?
Q. Hi, I am a 49yo professional woman with a stable spouse and a successful career. I have owned my own business now for 10 years. My husband and I have been married for 24 years and we have zero debt. Eight years ago, we had borrowed $100,000 from my ...
A. 2 February 2016: I can see why you feel upset by this, I am sure if you asked them there version off events would be very different. They probably wanted everything done legally for many reasons. So that you both know where you stand, also in case anything ever ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is always late and doesn't see anything wrong with it
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. We live 40 mins apart. I get very irritated because he is always late with me it seems. I am a punctual type of person and if I happen to run late I will apologize and let the person know and get ...
A. 2 February 2016: I know someone this happened to. They where always late. If you booked a table for 5, you would know they wouldn't show until 7. Very frustrating, feels like you are not important enough for an apology and taken for granted. She met a guy, she was ... (read in full...)
Why has my BF stepped up, now that he's heard that another guy likes me?
Q. Why would your BF of over 2 years suddenly start paying more attention to you? It seems he was taking me a little for granted...... UNTIL... He found out there was some good looking guy asking his friends about me and saying how beaut...
A. 2 February 2016: He fell in to a routine and he has probably just been reminded of the girlfriend that he has. It has showing him that he needs to make more off an effort. Appreciate this, but don't use others finding you attractive against him. Don't play any ... (read in full...)
My Gf says I'm boring. So what nice things can I do for her, other than buying her things?
Q. She's my first girlfriend and we've been together almost a year. It seems she has always wanted me to be more of a boyfriend and do more things for her, though she's told me I'm getting better at it and then she'll just tell me again later she still ...
A. 2 February 2016: Okay so she wants more from you, are you getting anything from her? Does she make an effort in this relationship? Or is she just expecting you to do all the work. Be careful here that you don't end up being someone you are not. It is okay not to be ... (read in full...)
Shall I continue with this charade, in an effort to expose his cheating ?
Q. Hi, I am little embarrassed to say this but I just found a profile of my bf on match.com, the profile is active and it has his name and age and a couple photos also.. He says he's single and looking for female from 21-34. He's 29. I am 37... I feel ...
A. 2 February 2016: Delete your match account. Tell him it is over, who wants to be with someone so dishonest and loyal? Don't let him talk you in to staying you deserve better.... (read in full...)
Can a player fall in love????
Q. Hi there,thanks for reading my post. I am talking with a guy online. met him two times. he is 10years older then me. I am 36 he is 47.I really like him. but I felt he is player. I am interested to know can a player fall in love? Like, a guy wh...
A. 2 February 2016: He has spent his whole life not being in a long term relationship, maybe he is scared that he will be left on the shelf now. Either way am not sure I would trust him. ... (read in full...)
Is he rejecting me?
Q. so me and a guy have been talking for a long while. i am 19 now, we've been talking since i was sixteen. i went out once with a group of friends and he is a friend of theirs, he just showed up and we had never met before. he showed up, greeted me ...
A. 2 February 2016: You both seem to back off and then on again. Am sure he is as confused as you are. If you are left feeling like he is not making an effort then maybe this ship as sailed. Maybe he has met someone new. Or maybe he has grew tired of trying. ... (read in full...)
Seems he's been messaging her non-stop. Is my boyfriend cheating on me?
Q. Okay so I know some people may judge me for this but about two months back I snooped on my boyfriends phone. I saw he had been exchanging lots of messages with this girl he goes to university with who he is actually going to be living with next aca...
A. 1 February 2016: You asked him to stop talking to her, he has agreed even though he didn't want to so he has just gotten better at hiding it from you.
I think she may have been contacting him a bit much yes for friends, and yes there are some red flag warnings aski... (read in full...)
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